LauraWinter
Well-Known Member
I am having major confidence issues with my boy, who I am supposed to be bringing back into work but not doing so very successfully
I probably just need a good kick up the bum but its really getting me down that I just feel sick at the thought of getting on him. I cant see myself ever getting to the point where I will be ok again and I guess I am just looking for explanations/ suggestions really.
To cut a very long story short, I bought him May last year, he never out a foot wrong and although green (he is rising 7 now) was very willing and genuine. managed to ride him for about 5 weeks after getting his saddle and shoes sorted before the yard got strangles and was effectively shut down for three months. He had that whole three months off, brought him back into work beginning of Sept and again he didnt put a foot wrong, even the first time I rode him. However we did have some handling issues (general barginess/bolshiness) which I put down to the sugarbeet he had been on to try and gain some lost weight when he was ill and these improved when I took him off it again. Getting on really well, more school work, first time jumping, then suddenly one day he bucked me off- never experienced anything like it, no warning and a real rodeo with no chance of staying on. I get physio out who says slightly sore back, one tenth lame so then get vet out, who says yes def lame.
2 week course of bute, sound again and we hack out on vets advice. Horse fine. Next hack, horse naps in a couple of places up drive (told by previous owner that he had napped before with novice rider but never with her and never before now with me). Next day, try again, He naps again, but worse. Feel that he is lame again, get vet back, yes vet says 3 tenths lame. Expensive work ups later, diagnosis OCD in both stifles, off to clinic for arthroscopies. It is now 1st December. Nothing clinic can do, damage is mild but irreparable, advised 6 wks box rest and course of cartrophen. Horse turned back out gradually mid Jan and advised walk out in hand= nightmare, horse rearing, chucking head etc and limited anyway because of icy yard. Ice goes, ride out around block, horse extremely tense feels like about to explode. Vet reassess- almost sound but slightly short on all four, get reshod and advised bring back into work gradually. No other option but to see if stays sound.
Get on day one, horse very tense, I feel very nervous about this but doesnt actually 'do' anything. Day two, slightly more tense, tries to nap in school. I get even more nervous
Day 3 lunge mostly in walk on very large circle, horse fine. Day 4 lunge again on very large circle, walk and some trot, horse fine. Day 5- ride in school again, horse naps badly and on verge of explosion. I feel very tense not helped by the fact that horse did a massive rear on way in from field, no real explanation
Handling issues have improved lots. We have had 'words' and he now stands when I stand and say STAND rather than just ploughing on regardless or dragging me over to every bucket in sight. Horse generally very laid back indeed and coped excellently with box rest (until tried to lead out..). Today= day 6. I go up to yard prepared to get on again and just feel sick. Really, really nervous. I chicken out and engage YM/instructor to ride him for next two weeks in school for 25 mins at a time. Horse tries it on with her- leaps and bucks but only once, not even enough to unseat her and puts in a sudden stop and small rear once. She agrees that he just feels very fresh, on edge and is confident that his behaviour is down to excitement. I just feel so useless for not persevering myself- its not like he has actually done anything awful to me and I am not normally a particularly nervous rider but I cant stop thinking about when he bucked me off. I dont blame him for his behaviour- with all factors considered I am sure it is not unusual however I am wondering where I go from here once the two weeks of instructor riding him are up? I cant afford to spend out much more on lessons etc and what if I feel just as nervous?
I cant think of anything else I can do to try and settle him down, he is looking well but is not over fed and goes out all day everyday. The only thing left to try is some kind of calmer or changing him from haylege which he is currently on to hay- however I feel I would have to up his hard feed a little as he gets most of his feed value from it. I have had mixed opinions on whether haylege affects their behaviour and he only started it when oin box rest so I have no idea whether changes in his behaviour are related partly to that or just to everything else.
I am so sorry this must be the longest post in the world but I am just feeling so down about it and need a kick up the backside
Please feel free to share my bottle of wine if you read all this, you may find me paddling round hopelessly at the bottom of it somewhere!
I probably just need a good kick up the bum but its really getting me down that I just feel sick at the thought of getting on him. I cant see myself ever getting to the point where I will be ok again and I guess I am just looking for explanations/ suggestions really.
To cut a very long story short, I bought him May last year, he never out a foot wrong and although green (he is rising 7 now) was very willing and genuine. managed to ride him for about 5 weeks after getting his saddle and shoes sorted before the yard got strangles and was effectively shut down for three months. He had that whole three months off, brought him back into work beginning of Sept and again he didnt put a foot wrong, even the first time I rode him. However we did have some handling issues (general barginess/bolshiness) which I put down to the sugarbeet he had been on to try and gain some lost weight when he was ill and these improved when I took him off it again. Getting on really well, more school work, first time jumping, then suddenly one day he bucked me off- never experienced anything like it, no warning and a real rodeo with no chance of staying on. I get physio out who says slightly sore back, one tenth lame so then get vet out, who says yes def lame.
2 week course of bute, sound again and we hack out on vets advice. Horse fine. Next hack, horse naps in a couple of places up drive (told by previous owner that he had napped before with novice rider but never with her and never before now with me). Next day, try again, He naps again, but worse. Feel that he is lame again, get vet back, yes vet says 3 tenths lame. Expensive work ups later, diagnosis OCD in both stifles, off to clinic for arthroscopies. It is now 1st December. Nothing clinic can do, damage is mild but irreparable, advised 6 wks box rest and course of cartrophen. Horse turned back out gradually mid Jan and advised walk out in hand= nightmare, horse rearing, chucking head etc and limited anyway because of icy yard. Ice goes, ride out around block, horse extremely tense feels like about to explode. Vet reassess- almost sound but slightly short on all four, get reshod and advised bring back into work gradually. No other option but to see if stays sound.
Get on day one, horse very tense, I feel very nervous about this but doesnt actually 'do' anything. Day two, slightly more tense, tries to nap in school. I get even more nervous
Day 3 lunge mostly in walk on very large circle, horse fine. Day 4 lunge again on very large circle, walk and some trot, horse fine. Day 5- ride in school again, horse naps badly and on verge of explosion. I feel very tense not helped by the fact that horse did a massive rear on way in from field, no real explanation
Handling issues have improved lots. We have had 'words' and he now stands when I stand and say STAND rather than just ploughing on regardless or dragging me over to every bucket in sight. Horse generally very laid back indeed and coped excellently with box rest (until tried to lead out..). Today= day 6. I go up to yard prepared to get on again and just feel sick. Really, really nervous. I chicken out and engage YM/instructor to ride him for next two weeks in school for 25 mins at a time. Horse tries it on with her- leaps and bucks but only once, not even enough to unseat her and puts in a sudden stop and small rear once. She agrees that he just feels very fresh, on edge and is confident that his behaviour is down to excitement. I just feel so useless for not persevering myself- its not like he has actually done anything awful to me and I am not normally a particularly nervous rider but I cant stop thinking about when he bucked me off. I dont blame him for his behaviour- with all factors considered I am sure it is not unusual however I am wondering where I go from here once the two weeks of instructor riding him are up? I cant afford to spend out much more on lessons etc and what if I feel just as nervous?
I cant think of anything else I can do to try and settle him down, he is looking well but is not over fed and goes out all day everyday. The only thing left to try is some kind of calmer or changing him from haylege which he is currently on to hay- however I feel I would have to up his hard feed a little as he gets most of his feed value from it. I have had mixed opinions on whether haylege affects their behaviour and he only started it when oin box rest so I have no idea whether changes in his behaviour are related partly to that or just to everything else.
I am so sorry this must be the longest post in the world but I am just feeling so down about it and need a kick up the backside
Please feel free to share my bottle of wine if you read all this, you may find me paddling round hopelessly at the bottom of it somewhere!
