Help!!! Lost my nerve riding on the main road!

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dilbert

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Aaaaargh!! I'm so cross at myself.

I've had Frankie just about 18mths and for various reasons he's never been fully "in work" - first due to nerves about having my own horse, then some back and saddle problems and then an abscess.

I have managed to ride intermittently and for the large part he's a very good boy. However about 2 months a go we had a wee blip on the A60 (so a relatively busy road) when he was scared of some sheep he could see and then we both got scared by a huge JCB thing behind us about 5 mins from home. He tried to run but didn't when I asked him not to and we escaped unscathed (we were following our usual hacking buddies).

My problem now is I'm really nervous on the main road. Frankie is largely unbothered still but obviously gets anxious when I'm anxious. We tried to go for a hack up the road today but I got nervous as it was a bit foggy and the road was busy, to be fair to Frank he didnt realy bother when a bus, lorry, tractor went past however I got scared and instead we crossed the road and went up the bridlepath instead.

When he's a bit frisky away from the road I don't mind in the slightest , can anyone offer any words of wisdom?

sorry for waffling
 
It'll take time to rebuild your confidence. Some tips I was given from members on here; make yourself yawn as it slows your breathing, sing, picture someone you dislike, hack in company etc. Riding another horse didn't give me confidence as my nerves linked directly to my horse so in a sense I knew I had to get on him and get on with it. I'm sure you'll find a method that works best for you.

I went all the way back to basics and had someone lead my horse whilst I was on him and then rode the same route in company. It worked wonders because I could see that my horse was relaxed. I learn by doing so to see that he wasn't bothered is the biggest lesson I'm learning.

For your horse not to be bothered by a lorry, bus and tractor shows that he trusts you. There is no miracle to finding your confidence but you'll get there :)
 
Sorry, can't help. I lost my nerve on roads about 3 years ago - not even on main roads, even Sunday morning village church traffic is too much for me.

Luckily we have relatively quiet lanes around us, even then I had a stand off with an ignorant farmer recently.

I have a vision of an injured horse lying on the road, and know I couldn't live with it if it happened.

So please don't think you're unusual, or even silly for being nervous, it's well founded. Avoid roads if you possibly can!
 
Two suggestions:

1. Get someone else who is a confident skilled rider to ride your boy and you observe from a distance. Seeing him doing it, should give you the confidence necessary. (Certainly, seeing someone else take my horse around an advanced track years ago gave me the confidence to do it myself, even though I had previously been the cause of his problems! Hey ho!)

2. Riding on 'A' roads in this day and age is no fun for anyone. Would it be possible for you to move your horse somewhere quieter??

Good luck!
 
Like another poster said it'll take time to build your confidence again. Do you have a calm, confident friend who can ride him for you, maybe you could ride her horse if he's calm and give you a boost on the roads?

Otherwise, I'll say what I always think to myself when I'm riding someones horse and the owner says "oh watch out, he doesn't like this/that/the other." Are *you* scared of cars? I expect not, so JUST focus on that. If you aren't scared of traffic in your daily life, why are you worrying? No need to worry about it at all. :)

The other day I was riding and the owner said "be careful, he'll probably spook at that bonfire." There wasn't a twinge out of him because I wasn't expecting him to do anything and so wasn't tensing up or anything. It works for me anyway!

Your calmness will transfer to him and you'll also be able to more calmly deal with any problems.

Good luck :)
 
There's something called "Transactional Analysis" which a lot of sports/professional people use and I think you might find it useful.

I can't possibly explain it here, but it basically works on the principle of re-educating the mind and getting the thought processes disciplined and in order.

I don't know where to suggest finding a practitioner, try Google?

I've had a dabble with it, only a little, but what I did do helped.
 
Nought to be ashamed of - you are just being aware of the potential consequences of riding on roads - let it go, if you can possibly box off to a forest or bridle path, ride with a group of high viz wareing sensible riders that you trust 100% to take care of you or ride round your fields.

I was hit by a car, luckliy for me i must have fainted and because i went so floppy gingerwitch was able to "leap off the bonnet" - if i had been aware of what was going on i would have probalby have killed us both - i have ridden on roads about 6 times since this happend over 10 years ago and even then at 6am on a summer Sunday morn and the relief of getting back to the yard has made me realise its no fun. Fortunatly for me hubby brought me a box so i can get off the yard - not everyone is this lucky - but you have nothing to be ashamed of and anyone who takes the mick or knocks you is not even worth worrying about
 
I feel the same way.

So I sing. Jerusalem is a good one to sing. Loudly.

If you aren't nervous on the roads these days then either you're blaze or very lucky. Dangerous place the road!
 
I haven't read the other responses, but I have to say, I would never ever ever ride on a main road.

In the 1970s, when I was a teenager, I used to hack down to the forge in the local town to have my pony shod. Apart from a couple of attempted turnarounds in gateways we were fine and used to arrive home several hours later with a full set of sparkly new shoes.

However, the same road today is absolutely lethal and it's only a B road. I would never ever ride on a main road in this day and age.

If you don't want to do it, don't feel you have to. I certainly wouldn't.
 
Hi thanks everyone :D

At the moment I only hack out with others (normally one person with an older cob who's very sensible on the roads).

I've found singing useful in the past so will have another go. I wouldn't feel safe on any of the other horses at the yard tbh, the 2 that are very good on the roads are only that way due to their relationship with their owners (horses both in their 20's).

Our hacking is limited if you don't go a certain way on the main road and really I don't think moving is the option at the mo but will see how it goes.

I've just ordered a CD which is meant to hep with hacking nerves too so will see how that goes :)
 
At my last yard I had to hack along the side of the A4 so I can sympathise. We were lucky in that we had a path most of the way so had a grass verge between us and the traffic but it did still make me nervous. I discovered my horse is much better in traffic than I am!
I agree with the people who said sing - it helps you remember to breath. Also I was just very aware of the traffic and if I thought there might be a problem would signal to people to slow down, wait or whatever - they didn't always pay attention but it usually worked. I also used to ride early mornings at the weekend when the traffic was lightest and there were fewer lorries.
If you are on a straight stretch of a wide road, you are in some ways better off than being in a narrow twisty lane as traffic as traffic can see you from further away (I am assuming hi-viz here!) and there is room for people to get out of your way and vice versa.
 
I hate hacking on main roads but I make sure I look like a complete numpty by overdoing the high viz, it seems to work people really do give me a wide birth so that might help. Maybe have a word with the local council about putting some traffic calming devices or links to bridlepaths, they are all for increasing safety on the roads, they may at least put some horse and rider roads signs up.

By the way I dont think you have lost confidence its you being realistic about the dangers.
 
I get far more worried than my horse when on our main A road. It's when buses or several cars fly past that I get the willies. Horsey is fantastic and just snorts when they have gone past as if to say 'hmph cars don't scare me'. The way I deal with it is just ignore them, pretend they're not there and never look at them. I will start a conversation just as a car approaches and not let it affect my speech, just to show myself it is safe. I must have worked out how to do this somehow as I can make myself ignore a whole manner of things now, as a way of dealing with my horrendous nerves.
 
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