Help me learn to hack alone

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mar2505

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I really need help and advice.
I want to hack my horse on his own, he is safe as houses and I have had him 7 years but even the thought of it reduces me to tears.
I can hack with others but only if I trust them and my hacking buddy has left yard so really need to crack on. Its such a lovely day that I feel its wasted not riding?
My horse is really safe as well but reacts to my anxiety. I have had people walk with me loads and their patience is now going as they feel that they have proved to me he is safe.
Thx
 
May sound a bit silly but have you tried taking rescue remedy yourself before riding? Found this helped me when I started hacking alone. Also can you not set yourself goals for each time you go out on your own, for example riding to a spot you have in your head the first time, say 5 mins away? Then when you feel ok with that go further each time? Also don't put too much pressure on yourself, just walk on your horse and take it easier, but setting yourself goals further and further. Hope this helps.

Also found talking and singing when alone helps and tends to distract your horse!!!
 
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Hi Mar,

Why not try and set yourself a target? To start off with, make sure that there's somebody at the yard, who will stay there for you. Set yourself a target - just a small one to start with - even if its only a couple of hundred metres and back - say to the corner of the road, or to the village shop and back, or to the edge of the woods or something. It's not far and you can be reassured that somebody is at the yard nearby to be there when you get back (and that you are not far from "rescue" either).

When you've succesfully completed your first challenge, then you can gradually build upon it, and go a little bit further each time - or in a different direction.

You just need to set your mind to completing each little challenge as it comes. Be strong, be determined to reach that goal. Sing to your horse when you're out - that helps. If you feel the panic rising, take some big, deep breaths and exhale slooooowly.

I know it's easier said than done, but many years ago I went through the same thing - and what I described above worked for me. Nowadays I take part in 50 mile endurance rides!
 
I have taken rescue remedy by the bottle ha ha, I just get myself in a state thinking about it so by time get home today I will be so nervous I will not get horse in from field without crying!!!
It is trying to get my mind in the right place before I start that seems to be the issue
 
You can do it :) Hop and plan to take say 30 strides of walk then turn and ride back and build that up :) This is what I am planning to do with my mare this summer to get her hacking out on her own she is really nappy but we will get through it x
 
People really fail to understand, its strange isnt it?
I can get him about 200 yds away then think oh my goodness I am on my own.
HELP.....I then panic. He walks faster and I get more nervous.
Yuck
 
you say you are ok for 200 yards so do that one day then the next day go 210 yards and come back. Or how about rididng as far as you are comfortable then getting off and leading him?
 
I know how you feel
I have cried out on hacks many a time
My horse is now on box rest apart from her rides so I have no choice but to ride out which makes it even more worrying
I ride out and lead her home, when Im ready I'll ride her back too but not for the time being.
Setting a target does help though :)
You'll get there, just keep trying :)
 
Hollysmum said:
You can do it :) Hop and plan to take say 30 strides of walk then turn and ride back and build that up :) This is what I am planning to do with my mare this summer to get her hacking out on her own she is really nappy but we will get through it x
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Just to warn you as my mare can be a nappy cow-bag, my number 1 rule with her is to never, ever, ever turn around and come back the same way. We always ride circular routes and this has really made a vast difference in reducing her napping to almost nothing.

If you are worried and your horse has nappy tendancies, the last thing you want to do is to have a massive battle.

OP. If you can't find someone to ride with you, could you get someone to cycle or walk with you? My poor Dad was roped into walking out on a couple of short circuits with me and the mare as I have no-one to ride with. It really helped my confidence and the mare's too. Once you've had a few good experiances you can build to being fully on your own from there. :)
 
You need to handle yourself as you would handle the horse if he was the frightened one :P

You ca go 200 yards? Start there, then next day advance to 205 etc. Go as far as you're comfortable with and push it just a tad out of the comfort zone, but still far away from the panic zone.

If you feel you start panicking, you can either call it a day and turn home. No shame in that. Or you can dismount and lead him a bit untill you're calm again, and then head home.

How is t with leading btw, do you have the same feeling if you're leading him? If so, perhaps there's whee you need to start :)
 
I always think when you have a paralysing fear you need to find out exactly what it is you are afraid of, get right to the heart of it.

Do you think horse might misbehave and you can't handle him
or that you will get lost?
or you will come to harm in some way? (perfectly reasonalbe imo)

Also why does someone being with you help (i.e what are you getting from them that you can't get from within yourself?)

It is such a shame that you cannot hack alone especially if you have a brill horse.

Can you find a small block that is undemanding and cycle/walk it a few times on your own to get really familiar with it. Then walk the horse out in hand round the route then finally go for it and ride it?

I have just had to consign some riding nerves to the dustbin and slam the lid firmly shut, so you have my sympathy. The key is to find out exactly what is doing you in :)
 
You are right, there probably is something underneath it all. When someone is on foot or with me I feel I have an aid, also when someone hacks with me I feel that they can help with any issues.
He is perfect to lead and that makes me cry cause I feel so guillty that I do not trust him at all. He looks at me like, why cant we go for a lovely ride , life is good.
 
Firstly pls don't beat yourself up about this as you arn't the only one by any means who feels this way.

I don't like hacking on my own and I've now admitted this to myself. I will happily ride in field on my own but out on roads I either need someone else on horse or foot. I am very lucky that by posting on here for a hacking buddy that I have found a lady in the next village who will come out with me on her mare or on foot. Happy rider = happy horse xxxx
 
That sounds like a plan, cause no one else at my yard suitable to hack with, either want to go fast everywhere or too scared themselves.
I am in south bucks so anyone who wants a hacking buddy I am yours
 
Sorry no help at all, but you're definately not the only one feeling like this!!
Have completely lost my confidence thanks to my last horse who was a bolter/bucked/reared/pretty much everything.
I now have a wonderful, calm horse who I am slowly building confidence up on, but am still very scared at certain situations, one being hacking/alone or in company at the mo! And am also another for Rescue Remedy before I ride, purely to help my nerves not to transfer through to my gelding (although I'm sure they still do) wish there was something stronger! :o
Keep me updated on how you get on!
 
Teach Your horse to do neck bends, leg yields, shoulder in, anything!!! Plan your ride in terms of schooling, ie walk, trot halt, walk leg yield, etc, etc, so your concentration is so set on your schooling that you don't have time to be scared. If your horse tenses have a plan (trot, neck bend, breathe deeply) Also consider something like a harbridge so the horse can't throw head up and get control?

Good luck.like everything else in life practice practice and practice. All the good riders I talk to are continually revising their plan, even though they seem to be just hacking along. It's not the easy option it's sometimes sold as??
 
Stop over thinking, actually just stop thinking full stop. Set out a small route, hop on and off you go. Don't let your mind go into overdrive, just concentrate on breathing, lots of deep breathing. Sit tall & confident, relax those arms and smile. Act relaxed and confident and you will be. It's all the power of the mind. Before you know it you will be back home again and then you really will feel great about what you have just achieved! Then you'll easily work your way up to longer and bigger hacks ....
 
Hannahmurphy: I dont know about OP, but I know that I couldnt do that.
Its so much easier said then done, to relax and not think about it, when your scared.
On my hacks I can tense up so badly, and telling myself to relax does nothing.
 
thought I would try today to do a small 15 min circle hack. I am now in such a state that I cannot leave house let alone tack up etc. I thought all night about hacking and then this happens.
 
I know you said people are getting fed up of walking with you but could you persuade someone to do it a few more times? Then set off together and ask them to drop back, so that there is someone available if there is a problem but you are 'on your own' so to speak. If you could get further in front of the walker every time you go out you would find that your confidence builds in your ability to deal with whatever comes along - if your horse is really 'as safe as houses'. Then the next step would be for there to be someone in the yard waiting for your return. I also suggest looking at the Bach Flowers website, they do a lot more than Rescue Remedy and if you can work out exactly why you are worried, then you can tailor a remedy to your particular needs.
I think you have taken an important step forward by just recognising that you want to hack out on your own.
All the best!
 
Rather than worrying why not start to notice things around you? What I call "nature rides" and now is a great time to start;start to want to identify plants..hop off and get a sample to look up later if you`re stumped.Watch out for wild life , farmstock ..all that is just about to burst into Spring..far too much to look at to worry yourself and your horse too.NEVER go 200 yards and turn back,that way even a saint will learn to nap. Just look around you and enjoy.
Learn chill out exercises what I call a "wet spaghetti" relaxation way of going to chill your horse too,he needs you for his confidence and really only wants to please you and get on with it.After seven years you should have perfect trust between you now,so enjoy it.
 
hi i am in south bucks too - wherebouts are you? pm if you prefer.

I feel your pain, my horse is not brilliant to hack alone and it took 2 years for me to hack him out alone . we dont go far as he is incredibly spooky and has no self preservation and would easily back into car or fence. In company hes fine though.
 
I do really feel for you!

For me, it's the hacking that makes me happy, and I like nothing better than to box up and go somewhere different for my hacks!

It's the jumping and the like these days that fills me with dread! Used to jump mahoosive, but as the middle ages approach, I tend to stick to tiddlies and at shows now, will do show classes and the like.

I've been out with many people who feel as you do, I'll ride by their place to 'pick them up' then will do a loop and 'drop them off'..

As I'm extremely lucky to not have confidence issues out hacking, I don't know what to suggest! :(

I hope you find an answer soon!
 
Reading the OP and subsequent posts, I am getting a knot in my stomach just thinking about hacking (even with company). I think it is getting worse! I have said that I will have a shared lesson with my very sensible, very calm, knowledgeable friend and her very calm, very sensible horse (Lovely Bob) on Wednesday. Then, if the boys get on nicely together, we will just walk up to the edge of the woods and back (about 10 minutes). I am terrified. My heart is pounding right now and I feel sick at the thought.

But I know I have to do it. If I want the lovely hacks I had last summer (with my now disabled friend - another story you may remember), I HAVE to start taking those baby steps. My first baby step was to dismount actually outside of the school, in the yard. Then I walked him round to the other side of the stables and got off. Next step will be to go round the yard a couple of times before I get off (maybe tomorrow?) But the thought of it is horrific. I KNOW it's stupid and irrational. But that doesn't help!

I'm even nervous because I said I might go in the school on my own this afternoon. I know now that I won't. I am just about to go up and spend an hour or so at the yard with him. Just so he remembers who I am (carrots packed)

I SOOOOOO understand where you're coming from. Please don't give up - we will do it together!! ;)

At least you can go with others - maybe finding a 'hacking buddy' is the best plan after all?

Sorry, just realised this is my usual long and ramblin' type post!
 
having read back through the the OP's posts i see this has been happening for quite a while and the root issue has not been addressed and its been allowed to escalate to this. OP you poor poor thing ! i just want to scoop you up and give you a big cuddle. Seriously, i think i know where you are, or at least what yard you were at - PM me and we will see if we can work something out together. youre not far away ( im in the next town ) so i can always pop up and walk with you, and we can figure out a way to build your confidence back again. Also i think you need to bite the bullet and think about getting an instructor, even if its only once a month, i know some very good instructors that dont charge an arm or a leg. Anyway PM me, look forward to hearing from you xx
 
OP, I can identify so much with your hacking fears. My lack of confidence and fears really got the better of me a few years ago - to the point where it was affecting my riding in the school as well as out hacking. I simply didn't hack out and, even though I rode quieter and quieter horses (I don't have my own), I would still end up a bag of nerves, crying in the middle of the school.

I got so sick of myself in the end! It was either give up riding or find a solution. So I did a two-day course with NLP practitioner Caroline Putus. She is a life-long horsewoman, who had her own confidence issues years ago following a horrific accident - so she really knows the issues us riders have to deal with. But she also understands the compulsion that keeps us riding (when some non-horsey people around us might say 'Well, if it makes you that scared, why not give it up?)

The course quite literally changed my life! It give you 'tools' to help you deal with your nerves - to help stop the churning tummy, the sick feeling, the tears etc etc. It also helps you explore and understand just what is triggering your fear (in my case, it was actually nothing to do with the horses per se. Hence why I was no better on a quiet plod.)

Now I can ride happily and hack out. I am not the most gung-ho rider in the world and probably never will be but I know how to relax myself if the colly-wobbles start. And I also know how to influence my horse with my calmness.

Anyway, Caroline's website is www.enjoyriding.com (hope this not seen as advertising. I have no connection with her other than being an extremely happy customer of hers!)
 
dafthoss said:
you say you are ok for 200 yards so do that one day then the next day go 210 yards and come back. Or how about rididng as far as you are comfortable then getting off and leading him?
Click to expand...

I agree with this. I don't know why people have such an issue with people getting off their horses and leading them if they have a problem. Mine wasn't easy to start with but once I decided "if I c**p myself I just get off and walk" I was far more relaxed about it all straight away. I too extended my hacks from a few hundred yards to 2 hour long ones, it took a bit of time but not as much as you would have thought. In the end I only ever got of once, walked a bit, and got back on again. I'm sure if you did something similar to this you'll be hacking away like a goodun come summer! Good luck!
 
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