Help! My sharer has scared my horse!

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RedVendetta

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I haven't posted in ages but I am so hacked off and need some advice.

Due to me being made redundant I had to move my horse to a cheaper yard and get a sharer. This has so far worked out well - between the sharer and the cheaper yard my bills have been halved.

However my sharer is a 15 year old girl. Who seems to think she knows more than she actually does. I have been supervising her for the last 6 weeks. This is great for her as she basicaly just rides and does no jobs whatsoever. However, she kept pushing me to leave her on her own with the horse, making comments such as 'You'll have to leave me on my own with him at some point bla bla bla'. So this weekend I let her look after him by herself.

I went to ride him today and could barely tack him up. He was practically rearing in the stable. This horse trusts me implicitely and now he is suddenly scared of being tacked up. I was told the sharer asked for assistance tacking up yesterday - it seems she whacked him in the teeth with the bit severa times before asking someone for help and now he is scared witless and will take me weeks to get him back to being the very well behaved horse to tack up that he was before.

What do I do? 2 questions realy - how do I convince my horse Im not going to hurt him and what do I tell my sharer?

Im so angry. He was angelic to tack up previously so I have no idea why she couldn't tack him up in the first place.
 
TBH I'd be looking for another sharer, doesn't sound like you're ever going to be able to really trust her again
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I would say that you don't think the two of them gel and that you think it isn't going to work,maybe say your looking for a more experienced mature rider,there are plenty of sharers out there. I certainly wouldn't be keen on her riding either of my horses. She doesn't sound very competant and if the first time she does him ends in him being scared then it's going to end in tears somewhere along the line.
 
Maybe she doesn't know as much as she's let on!? I'd get another sharer, someone a bit older perhaps who has more experience!
 
I would find another sharer but its the money side of things. Ive been unemployed for 3 months and although Ive got the job of my dreams, I dont start until October so Im going to be skint until then.

I will have to supervise her and if she doesnt like it she can f**k off. I was on pins yesterday worrying about my horse and it seems I was right.
 
What about putting his bridle on without the bit so you can gain his confidence again.Poor boy hope things work out for you both.
 
Hi cellie - I had to do that today as it was the only way I could tack him up
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poor thing has never been difficut in the past in fact he opens his mouth for the bit. grrr
 
Oh Bugger E
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Send him to me ?
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Really , I'd phone sharer ask what happened then tell her to pee off if she really had done that to V
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x
 
As Cellie said, take the bridle apart so it just sits on his head, with no bit? Then introduce the bit back with a polo or apple in your hand so he gets a special treat as you put the bit in?
Izzi x
 
I'd do all the things suggested above, plus start looking for another sharer right away, and tell the other sharer to eff off when you find someone. I hope your poor boy calms down when he realises you're not going to wallop him in the teeth.

However, do try and have a calm, non-agitated chat with your sharer and find out her side of the story.
 
I wil work on him al week with treats and taking the bridle apart - thank you for your advice guys.

Sarah I will call her but not tonight as Im SO angry. She's not due to ride again until Friday anyway. I was in fits of tears today - sounds ridiculous especially after what youve been through lately (hugsxxx) but it was the shock - my lovely horse looked scared to death of me.

I think I will look for a new sharer but Im supposed to give her a months notice..... or maybe just sack off the whole sharer thing. My horse is such a wimp and he only trusts people who are confident with him because he wonders whats wrong when people are nervous around him.

Sorry if there are loads of Ls missing in my posts - Im not thick, just my L on the keyboard is pants lol
 
God how awful, for you and your horse.
Be brutally honest with her, but find out exactly what happened first. Tell her you don't think her being on her own will work out and that you'll have to supervise until you can trust her more, and if she doesn't like it, she can go elsewhere.

15 yr olds who think they know it all are the worst. I can be one sometimes, but friend of mine had this with one of her horses, she shared it with someone else around our age and they completley upset her horse who is now nervous at times whereas he was 'bombproof' (if there is such things as bombproof horses) before.

Hope it all works out alright for you.
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Bless him he'll trust you soon enough though...
Just call her and clear things up and explain why you are upset and see what has happened
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He'll be fine i'm sure ((hugs))
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I would get rid of sharer asap. There is no excuse for that behavior. Every kid that helps at the RS I work at knows much better than that and it have been drummed into them NEVER to hit a horse round the head!

If you were closer I could have suggested loads of teenagers who would have loved the opportunity!
 
I think what's happened is this -

She is doing her BHS 1 at the moment so thinks she can apply everything she's learnt there directly to my horse - I think every horse has their own way of things being done.

She has probably got a pit peeved with him as he can shake his head about sometimes, got frustrated and of course wouldn't want to admit to it (she probably thinks asking for help would make her look daft) and by the time she asked for help the horse had got realy scared.

I wil have to speak to her and see her side but theres no way Im leaving her on her own with him from now on. She probably wont be happy with that arrangement anyway.
 
The thing is if it doesn't work out with this girl i'm sure there are tons of people out there who would love a horse to ride without having to do any jobs! So don't be put off by this incident but if you think it really isn't going to work out after a bit more time then I doubt you would have any trouble finding someone else who would like to ride him.
Being a 15 year old she's probably going through a phase of I can't ever be wrong as i'd look silly etc. She's probably (secretly) desperate to impress you i'm sure with a bit more time she'd realise she's no need to try and impress you and calm down into it all.
 
I dont want to have to be there every time she rides him though. This situation has forced me not to trust her.
No one I know has ever had any trouble looking after my horse in the past when Ive been on hols etc so I dont understand why she has.
I was just going to text her then but Ive had a new idea - Maybe I should just ring her mum rather than her and chat to her about it??? Good / bad idea? I dont understand 15 year olds!!!
 
Ok Ill ring the mum tomorrow evening. But if she's not happy I think Id rather be skint and have him to myself. Hes SO special to me, my hero, and Im not having anyone change him.
 
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But if she's not happy I think Id rather be skint and have him to myself. Hes SO special to me, my hero, and Im not having anyone change him.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think this says it all. If you are not happy (by which I mean can't relax when she's with your horse) then it is never going to work.

I had a sharer a while back but when I realised that I couldn't relax when she was riding my horse (I'm not precious about him - I could think of any number of people I would lend him to and not worry) I decided to call it a day.

I know its difficult when you're struggling financially (that's why I wanted a sharer), but you would be the one left to pick up the pieces if your horse gets damaged. If you can possibly manage until you find another sharer, then I would call a halt now.
 
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But if she's not happy I think Id rather be skint and have him to myself. Hes SO special to me, my hero, and Im not having anyone change him.

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I think this says it all. If you are not happy (by which I mean can't relax when she's with your horse) then it is never going to work.

I had a sharer a while back but when I realised that I couldn't relax when she was riding my horse (I'm not precious about him - I could think of any number of people I would lend him to and not worry) I decided to call it a day.

I know its difficult when you're struggling financially (that's why I wanted a sharer), but you would be the one left to pick up the pieces if your horse gets damaged. If you can possibly manage until you find another sharer, then I would call a halt now.

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Fingers crossed Im going to get a temping job or part time job as of next week. If thats the case shes going to have to go and Ill manage on my own.
I adore my horse and I was in floods of tears today over this - not normal for a hard faced 29 year old!!
I just hope I can get him back to normal.
And I agree about there being loads of ppl I would trust to look after him but now that list does not include her.

Thanks for the help and advice - I thought I was being a drama queen!
 
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Blimey, what did she DO to him? Antifaz is the nervous, sensitive type and it would take a HELL of a lot to scare him THAT much. The mind boggles.

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I think she prioritised not looking like she didnt have a clue over my horse's welfare.
 
If I was in your shoes, the issue for me would not be that she has had a problem bridling the horse and upset him, annoying though that is, but that she didn't phone at least after the event and explain that it hadn't been as easy as she expected and he got a bit upset. You are entitled to at least that much consideration from her, even if she is young and inexperienced.
 
i would think twice about getting a sharer as sounds like you may find the whole idea quite difficult as you can't be there with your horse all the time.

out of interest in the time you were with her before has she ever done anything wrong? was there a reason why you didn't want her to be alone with him?

i know i would really struggle with somebody else looking after my horse as i have my ways of doing things and he's my baby and pride of joy so am so fussy about how he is looked after.
 
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