Help needed with 'over-protective' loaner

[Cheesey2983]

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I have to say that i agree with YorkG if your horse is out on full loan then to jump in and say you want to ride a couple of days a week is out of the question even if he is yours. Without a contract stating any rules on going back to sharing or part loan you could get an argument and as you cant afford to take him back full time possibly not a good idea.

At the end of the day a Full Loan horse is not really any different from Hiring out a car and you wouldnt ask to have the car back 2 mornings a week cause you needed it.

I do see where your coming from, but i think you either need to take him back completely or write up a contract and hope they agree to it.

 

[AandK]

Its a tough one.! I can see her point of veiw, she has him on full loan which to me suggests that she has full use of him and is responisble for his care 24/7.. But at the end of the day he is YOUR horse, if you want to see/care/ride him for just one day a week then you need to sit down with her and see if you can come to some arrangement.. The only other option I can see is if she does not agree to what you are after is to take the horse back and find another loaner/sharer, if this girl loves him as much as you say she does then she may be happy to work something out so she can keep him. You are only talking about one day a week here..
It sounds harsh but that is what I would do.. If you cannot afford the time/money to have him more than one day a week then you will have to just be content with popping up to see him every now and then..
You have to keep in mind that he is your horse and if you are not happy with how things are you are well within your rights to deal with it.. Get a loan agreement signed by both of you so you know where you stand.. Just because it didn't work last time doen't mean it won't again.!
Good luck

 

[littlelottie]

Thanks again everyone for your input. It's no excuse but at the time I had so much else on my mind plus the fact that the last agreement was so useless in practise as the girl stuck to none of the guidelines that I didn't do one. Yes I suppose it's not too late to draw one up now, I'd never really thought of it to be honest.

I've spoke to my partner and says he is happy to pay for him if they handed him back. I suppose with the financial support from him then I would be able to pay for him to be on part livery which again would help with the time issue. I'm sure I'd soon get back into the swing of things, it's just from the outside looking in it's hard to see how I ever used to find time but you just get on with it. But I would hate that happen from the loaners point of view as she thinks the world of him.

 

[lilly1]

As an owner and a previous loaner I can see both points of view and I can understand while the horse is on full loan with the loaner paying all costs her reluctance to let you ride. However he is your horse and you should not feel afraid to change terms. If it was me i would draw up a written contract asap and give 1 months notice of the change etc which I think is fair. I would also offer to supplement the cost.

 

[ihatework]

It is tricky and I can see where both of you are coming from.
If I were in your shoes I would give her one month's notice to terminate the full loan. Then offer her the oppertunity to be your sharer, write a contract etc. If she doesn't want to then find another sharer.

 

[lauraanddolly]

It's a tough one!
As an owner who is having to consider putting my horse on loan, i would say Lilly1 has a good idea. Draw up new contract stating the days you would like to do and who pays what and give them a months notice of the change, that is fair enough IMO.
I wouldn't stand to be treated like that however nice they are to my horse! They don't have a contract and he is YOUR horse at the end of the day.

 

[grandmaweloveyou]

gosh this is sso sso interesting being as im about to loan my boy but want my partner to be able to see him and keep in contact whilst not overbearing. its great to see that loaners (or is it the loanee - the person that has the horse on loan from the owner??) dont mind the owner being involved or checking or helping when needed. guys you are all soo good at seeing both sides of the argument and great to learn loads from thanks. good luck littlelottie. let us know what happens please? do whats best for you but communication is definitely the key.

 

[lucylemon]

he is your horse, so you should be able to do whatever you like with him. drop by and talk to her face to face, or write her a letter. remember, he is YOUR horse, not hers.

i loan 2 different horses (well share) 1 day a week each. but on school holidays or when the owner has a day off im just dumped as he is her horse. we have a verbal agreement that i do all jobs (he is on DIY) and in return i get a ride. bt during the holidays she goes down the yard anyway, regardless as to whether i have made plans or not, and rides him. so if she sas she is goign down anyway i dont bother going down there, i dont see the point in slaving away to sit on my loan horse for 5 minutes!!

but my other share, his owner lets me have holidays etc and she uses those days to go out with her friends. we often swap and change days to suit her, as i dont do anything other than go to the stables.

but at the moment i cannot ride due to hurting my back badly and i miss it like hell

 

[Bert&Maud]

My lovely boy is on loan, as due to KS he is no longer suitable for flatwork/dressage. He is the love of my life (OH understands that!) and it was the hardest thing Ive ever done delivering him to his loan home, but I'm not ready yet to be a happy hacker. The contract that I drew up states that I wish to ride him occasionally, at a mutually convenient time. This is mainly so I can check that he is still happy being ridden, as eventually his condition may make him unrideable, but also so I can remind myself just what a gem he is! The loanee is fine with this as it was part of the deal from the start. As others have said, I think you need to work out exactly what you want from any arrangement, and then find a new sharer/loaner if the current one is not happy with it. I will say that in my experience, although there are lots of lovely people out there, there are also plenty of not so good ones, and sometimes it might be better to stick with the devil you know.

 

[Hullabaloo]

I've had 3 loan horses and been very attached to them all but I had to understand that they belonged to someone else and if I didn't like the terms the owner was entitled to take their horse back.
At the end of the day he is your horse and you are entitled to tell the loaner that you want to re-negotiate the terms of the loan. If she is not prepared to do this she gives the horse back to you. If you are in a position to have him back then there is no problem.

 

[shadowboy]

I thought about this last night, and I just wanted to say that I think the loaner obviously cares for the horse but she needs to appreciate that hes not hers and that if she wants him to be should go and buy one to 'own' I have seen a loan turn bad before where the loaner got so attatched she would make sure they were always competing/horse had just had jabs/horse had been hunted day before so that the owner could never ride. All you are asking for is one day a week! Thats nothing- and im sure at her age shes got other things she would like to do once a week. If it were me I would say that you would like to have him for one day a week to ride as its been a new years resolution to keep ft/be out and about and that you just want to spend some time with him and wont be interfering etc. You pay his insurance so technically YOU are liable for him- you need to have some contact and input in case anything happens with him- plus i know you just want to be able to love him- and so you should- just always keep the loaner in the back of your mind to keep her sweet. Good luck and let us know what happens!

 

[jhoward]

id be a bit more diplomatic, either arrange to see her at the yard or turn up when ypou know she will be there, have a new agreement on you at all times, and just say that for legal reasons and to cover the both of you, you are now wanting an written agreement.

whilst talking toher tell her you will be taking the horse back 2 days away, which days you are flexible, if she says no put her in a corner and say in that case you are giving her 1 months notice of terminating any agreements you currntly have.

if shes adores your horse and is unlikly to find another she will agree... if shes under 18 then i think you find you should be talking to her parents.

i certinally would not be looking for another horse to share... whats the point of having your own??

 

[bubbledreamer]

Hello,
I really feel for you. He is your horse. I would not give the girl a choice i would say look i want him for two days a week, explain how much you miss him and say if your not ok with it ill find another loaner. At the end of the day, if she really cares about him she will rather have him 5 days a week than not at all!

 

[asbo]

give her a months notice to say that you want him 2 days a week, if she doesnt want to do that then its a months notice to end the loan.

have it all in writing as well

 

[Ravenwood]

I haven't read all the replies so apologise in advance if I am repeating anything anyone has already said.

We had a pony on loan for my daughter and after a short while we got him looking really good, fit and full of beans. The owner (who also, like you, had had him for a long time) then requested to have him back every now and then. That was fine - it was her pony. But this progressed to having him back more regularly - sometimes for four days at a time and I was the one having to go and pick him up each time at her convenience.

In the end I just couldn't keep paying to keep a pony in tip top conidition for someone else to use at the drop of a hat, it was unsettling for the pony and upsetting for my daughter as well. So the pony went back and fortunately the loaner and I remained on good terms.

So I am afraid I can see it from your loanee's point of view and I wouldn't want the hassle of the owner taking the pony away once a week. Sorry - thats probably not want you want to read.

 

[Natch]

I've been a sharer & loaner a number of times, and since she started off as a sharer I really can't see what your sharer's problem is - Its as little as once a week for goodness sake, how many of us would like one day a week without having to worry about the horse - might let us have a life outside of the yard occasionally!

Another way of looking at it would be you pay the insurance, vets and for that saddle and what are you getting back for it?If you can afford the worst case scenario and pay for him fully I'd definately do the 1 months notice to change agreement to share, and to put everything into writing (I think BHS do a standard agreement you might want to adapt)

Ravenwood, I can see your situ would have been a real hassle but I think this lady is talking about going down to the same yard, at agreed times/days rather than moving him, which would be a lot less hassle than your situ?

Be fair, but stay assertive and good luck! x

 

[WishfulThinker]

I currently own a horse and I share him with someone and we split the days 50/50, but if there is something on like a show or jumping and one of us wants ot go we still ask the other (right now it is mainly me asking her). She does contribute towards costs - not 50% though about 40%.

If you have loaned your horse out and you want to ride/do him 1-2 days a week why not contribute financially towards him - if you do not already. As If I was a loaner I would be miffed that I am paying to look after a horse for someone so that they can just come up and ride him when they want. It can bee seen from so many different angles, But at the end of the day he is yours, you just need to decide what you want.
I can sympathise with you though as I would love to not have a sharer - but I also need to eat and I want to keep my bf!

 

[Mags Mum]

Sorry havent read the other replies, however I have loaned out several horses over the years.

Your horse is either on loan or it is not, if you expect them then to change to a share agreement, they must either agree, or you take the horse back fully (with proper notice) and then make arrangements to get sharers.

I would never dream that an owner would wont to share a horse I loan, nor that one that I loan out that I would want to then share one day or more a week.

Having your cake and eat it springs to mind, he is your horse so make a decision, loan him or share him but the arrangement at the moment does not seem fair to either party as you are both (quite rightly for different reasons) upset with the position now.

 

[Tiffany]

[ QUOTE ]
As an owner and a previous loaner I can see both points of view and I can understand while the horse is on full loan with the loaner paying all costs her reluctance to let you ride. However he is your horse and you should not feel afraid to change terms. If it was me i would draw up a written contract asap and give 1 months notice of the change etc which I think is fair. I would also offer to supplement the cost.

[/ QUOTE ]

Brilliant idea but you've got to be prepared for her not agreeing and deciding to send him back.