Help please - behavioural issues

[Olivio]

Hi everyone

I'm a first timer in the dogs section so first of all hello to you all.

I am having issues with my dog and I am at my wits end so am desperately looking for some inspiration. I will give you a bit of background information as I think it is all pertanent to my current situation.

I got my lab x spaniel 4 years ago with my now ex partner. He was very soft on Fernie and treated him like a child rather than a dog. We split up about a year ago but were living together in a very tense atmosphere for a number of months. Fernie and I moved in with a friend who was not a great dog lover and she eventually moved out 6 months later leaving us in the flat by ourselves for just under 6 months. I treat my dog like a dog but yes I am probably a bit softer than I should be (although that is changing as I'm trying to be the alpha). In December I eventually had to give up my flat and Fernie and I moved in with my Mother, her Flatcoat retriever and her newly aquired flatcoat puppy. So, in summary Fernie and I have moved twice, and been in fairly high stress situations for the past twoish years.

So (and well done if you're keeping with me), Fernie has become very aggressive with my Mothers dogs. He is fine outside although will give a quick growl on the way past but in general its ok. When we are in the house my mum's dogs cannot even look at him without Fernie kicking off, putting himself in a corner and turning into a snarling mess. Her normally incredibly placid Flatcoat has now got to the point that he is completely fed up and has now started fighting back.

Fernie is not a nasty dog by nature and is wonderful when he is by himself. I feel horribly guilty about what I have put him through these past few years and am feeling right now that I have messed him up royally. As much as my mother loves Fernie, it is becoming unbearable to live with and we are having to keep the dogs seperate most of the time which in a small house is incredibly difficult. Unfortunately me getting my own place again is not an option for at least a year.

Does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can fix this? I have put a DAP collar on Fernie and the adult flatcoat but this doesn't seem to have helped. Fernie has also had a course of Zylkene but again this didn't appear to help. We have been here nearly a month and I am certainly less stressed than I was (Fernie is a sensitive wee soul and feeds off my stress) and I would have hoped he'd have settled a bit by now.

I am so sorry for my ramblings but I just don't know what to do now. I have tried being dominant, soothing him, letting them sort it out themselves, seperating them and every option I can think of inbetween. I have insurance with Petplan that has £1k of complimentery treatment included so I'm not sure what that covers ie behaviouralists etc.

 

[galaxy]

What is Fernie usually like with other dogs?

Do you walk them together? Do they get on then?

Is he neutered or entire?

 

[gunnergundog]

Get an APBC (not APDT) behaviourist in to help you and assess. Without seeing the dogs noone can advise on this and if they do risk making the situation worse.

If you have been to your vet for Zyklene they should be able to give you a referral so you should be able to claim the cost against any insurance you may have.

 

[PolarSkye]

Sounds to me like Fernie has taken on all the stress of the past however many months and appointed himself your guardian. Bless him, he just needs to learn that he doesn't need to be in charge . . . and to relax. In your shoes, I would be hiring a professional to help . . . Fernie sounds like he's not comfortable being in charge, but doesn't really relish the leadership role . . . and I think you need guidance on how to help him understand his place in your new family unit - dogs included.

He has experienced alot of change and stress in quite a short time and it sounds like it has upset him. I have a dog just like Fernie . . . Fred is a border collie/jrt cross and takes on any and all stress in the house . . . I call him my emotional sponge. We've had to work hard to try and calm Fred-o down . . . we don't reward neurotic or aggressive behaviour but we are very firm about nipping any possible meltdown in the bud.

I feel for you, I really do . . . your obvious love for Fernie shines through your post.

P

 

[Olivio]

He's 95% fine with other dogs. Has always been a bit stroppy with Mum's dog as he adores her so I'm thinking it's jealousy. They walk together fine every morning and he's fine when they meet other dogs on the walk, the odd growl but nothing major. He's entire but the vet has said that the habit/behaviour is there now so castrating probably won't make a difference anymore.

 

[CorvusCorax]

Agree, get a trainer in.

A) You have not messed him up
B) He sounds very stressed and may feel forced into a 'protective' position
C) Stop mixing things up, being dominant and soothing, letting them sort it out, getting involved - even my head is spinning
D) Bear in mind that not all dogs can live together in perfect harmony - my older dog gets very stressed out by my younger one so I do not force them to be together. Like people, you cannot get on with everyone.
E) Stop stressing
F) Stop stressing
G) STOP STRESSING

As you say, he is feeding off you, but it's nothing to do with the dog being sensitive. He is not a patient, he is a dog.
ALL dogs feed off us in one way or another and yes, the stress and pressure heaped on them, whether we are conscious of it or not, can come out as aggression and behavioural problems.

My older dog is a big insecure sensitive type but when it comes out, he looks and acts like a horrible thug...my first or second session with a trainer, it was like a lightbulb came on in my head, they spotted every big mistake I was making within minutes, and I had been owning dogs for years and thought I knew a lot. I did not.

Good luck
(You might look into getting an outdoor run/kennel/pen set up so you can switch the dogs around. My friends have two very dominant males who do not get on, then WE come to visit if you do things cleverly, every dog can get in and out and have company and exercise and it can work)

 

[CAYLA]

I agree with getting an experienced opinion (not a franchise) and someone who is proven in this area of behaviour. I think you need them to come out and see this behaviour and tell you what the deem the issue to be instead of speculation and guide you in how best to handle the situation, this is not something that can be advised from a forum.
Go for a personal recommendation though not just a name of a list.
Your Petplan policy should cover behaviour.

 

[Olivio]

Thank you for your replies everyone, I knew that there was going to be no magic fix. I will call the insurance company and vet in the morning and get the ball rolling. Thank you for the support.

 

[Naryafluffy]

The guys above will correct me if I'm talk complete drivel, but what are you feeding him.

I'm asking this as I have a lot to do with my friends 2 dogs from a training/walking/agility etc point of view, the bitch can be quite grumpy and a bit volatile if she's in a situation she isn't happy with (the dog is similar just not to the same extent).
They are fed Bakers (i know i'm sorry, but I don't buy the dog food and she maintains that they're unwell on Burns), went away last year to stay with a friend in a rental cottage, was meant to just be overnight (ended up 4 nights), but I forgot to take their food with me and they got fed Burns for the 5 days, didn't really notice the change in her behaviour until we were back home a couple of days and she started kicking off again, now I'm not sure if the change in food could have affected her that quickly, but as I said I didn't notice a difference until we got back, then realised that she had got worse (neither of them were unwell on the Burns, so I think it may be one of the 2 older dogs that get unwell on it).
Could what he's eating be affecting him to a degree.