Help.. please. Feeling very disheartened.

TiaPony

TiaPony

Well-Known Member
Joined
4 December 2006
Messages
2,589
Location
Surrey!
Visit site
Mare has always been a bit 'difficult' to ride jumping. She is uber enthusiastic but can get a bit speedy, thus scaring herself and we both lose a bit of confidence. We have been working around intro height now (i'm not a huge fan of sjing so avoid as much as possible) however she is now becoming a bit strong. Not so much so that I feel the need to change bit, she just tends to cross her jaw. I'm guessing grackle is the way forwards here? And how to get her a bit more relaxed and less err.. exuberant?

Point number 2... Took her SJing at a well known venue yesterday, she jumped well but then point blank refused to load to get home. She used to be 100% when travelling but these days seems a little unsure. Of course, I got the 100 interferers, some of which understood that I did not want to beat her up the ramp, others which obviously thought it was the only way forward. My sensitive, giving little mare is telling me something - that I am sure of - but of course it is hard to fix something instanteously.

It got dark and we simply had to get her on. A very grumpy YO - rightly so I may add (i wouldn't want strangers on the yard at 9pm!) - came and shoved a broom up her arse and beat her on. She then proceeded to tell me how I was not fit to be a horse owner, I was uneducated and ignorant and her not loading was entirely my fault. I accept responsibility that if something is amiss in the lorry and is scaring her, that is entirely my fault and I am trying to get my head around what it may be. But no, apparently my reluctance to be violent was stopping her and I need a 'good bit of education'
frown.gif
Please tell me I am not in the wrong, for wanting my horse to be comfortable and happy both loading and on the lorry?
frown.gif


Any suggestions for how to regain her confidence in the lorry? We are trying to ensure there is nothing loose in there (for instance the mounting steps which are curently unsecured) and she will be having her tea in there for the viable future. Anything else that may help? She has gone off eating her hay in the lorry - she is a pig I may add
wink.gif
tongue.gif
- and yesterday wouldn't even load with her tea
shocked.gif
Alarm bells are ringing
frown.gif


Sorry for long whiney post.
Biscuits/booze/chocolate or anything else that may tickle the fancy of any saint who has a suggestion.
Right now I feel ready to give up, my self confidence has never been great but no-one has actively told me I am useless..
crazy.gif
 
Could be totally off, but has the suspensions been checked recently, maybe a spring has gone or a shock absorber? making the ride a bit bouncy, or she's had an unpleasant experience ie lost her balance and that's knocked her confidence a bit? Would load her in and take her off many times, and then take her on short journeys, going nowhere so she always comes straigth home.

ps for one that's being awkward to load throwing a bucket of water up their arse can work wonders in an emergencey but would explore other avenues first to see if she's got good reason
 
Thanks for your reply
smile.gif

The lorry sailed through its MOT just under a month ago. I presume suspension would have been picked up on then? It was also serviced.
Thankyou
smile.gif
 
Would have thought suspension would be something they checked.

Meybe she lost her balance once - my mare did that in the trailer - started snaking on the motorway and when I got it under control (real scarey experience) pulled over to check on them and she'd ripped off her off fore travel boot all the tabs were torn off) so assumed it slipped and she was kicking to get it off and leant on the side of the trailer. Thankfully neither she nor the other semmed at all bothered by the experience but made me realise how easily it can happen.

So far as point one goes, definitely give a grackle a go. Would also be useful to practice halting within say five strides of landing over a jump (gradually decreasing the distance), another exercise that can really help with exuberance is to build a grid say cross, bounce, cross, stride, upright, three strides, spread and if they start to rush into the upright pull them up to a halt before the spread, turn away and come through again. Can also do it with poles on the ground. Makes them wait and listen
 
[ QUOTE ]
Does it make it any worse that I am 16?
frown.gif

I just burst into tears
blush.gif


[/ QUOTE ]

Definitely makes it worse, that's the last thing you'd want to hear, and I'm sure it's untrue
 
Sadly YO think they know all and have a right to do all. Its hard at any age, but 'teen years' is the worse. (maybe write a formal, but polite letter to them saying although you thank them for help, their comments were not required at that particular point. ??)
Regarding the traveling, how about doing a 'monty roberts'... can be found on youtube? have the lorry out, ramp down but only ask her to get close to it then back up, continue until she says 'for gods sake, allow me on! take out all partitions so she can go in and out easily. Use a long line but don't force the issue...be patient, it may take time! - Good luck
 
You're never wrong to want to take it slowly and find out what the root cause of a problem is instead of fixing a symptom. If someone tells you that then they are a. ignorant and b. probably just frustrated because they wanted to go home. Doesn't excuse bad manners and very poor customer service!

Have you tried a calmer supplement or bach flower remedies? May help with exuberance jumping and with tension travelling? Is she stressy about being tied up, or is just loading/travelling that she doesn't like?

I had something similar when I was your age - YO on my yard told me to stop thinking I knew better and let him use the good old long rope and pulley technique to get my horse into the trailer. Eventually I said fine, but I won't be involved. Ended up with snapped tractor towrope, snapped leather headcollar and hole in trailer roof. Horse unhurt. YO did have the cojones to apologise... 9 months later horse learned to load our way - slowly, quietly and without tension.

Good luck, and keep on doing it your way.
 
Hi, you're not alone in this situation. My horse has been a bad loader since I bought him but he's lovely in every other way! In the last year we've progressed from around 1 hr to load (once 3hrs!) to now 15 mins. If you pressure my horse he will just rear and become panicky and even less likely to load so I just have to be calm, patient and persistent then eventually he will get on. Lots of do-gooders try to advise me at shows but now I ignore them and do it my way, having tried the firm approach in the past. When I've let others try it their way I end up with a panicky dangerous horse that still won't load! I'd rather look a numpty than have an upset horse
My advice would be to practice as much as you can at home, then when you go out take someone with you that has time to spare and supports your approach.
Good luck.
smile.gif
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top