Help please - new horse not the right one!

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marioforever

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I have been a horse owner/rider for many years and have recently purchased a lovely 8 year old Irish Sports Horse. I believed him to be very laid back and he did seem to be when I tried him. He hasnt done much but his schooling is coming along nicely. However, I am in my late fifties, and this horse is always looking for me to let my guard down and spook. He seems very tense and seems to look for things to spook at - even in his own school and he will spook at things he has already passed loads of times. He isn't dangerous and he has no other vices but at my age I am finding it stressful having him shoot sideways at any distraction. My instructor is very experienced too and she thinks he will always be like this. My question is do I sell him, or try and swap him for something less sharp . He is really a teenagers horse as he jumps and hacks out and is super to handle. He has had his eyes etc checked. Do you think anyone would want to swap this lovely boy for perhaps an older more stoical horse?
Thanks to anyone who has got this far!
 
have you tried any kind of de-spooking stuff with him? some of the kelly mark's RA people offer a 'de-spooking' service, where they come out and show you some exercises to do with the horse?

how long have you had him? perhaps he's just going to take some time to settle?

p.s. make sure all the obvious things are checked too, before you dismiss him(back, teeth, tack etc).
 
He sounds a lovely chap - but perhaps not the perfect chap for you! Horses cost masses in time and money and if you are not happy you have two options - to find yourself an instructor that instills you with the confidence to persevere, or to find yourself a horse that you feel is right for you. There is no shame whatsoever in saying that the one you have bought is not for you (after all - I don't know a single horsey friend who hasn't been in the same situation at some point!).
I would ask around and see if someone can recommend a sound dealer/producer in your area - and then give them a ring and see if they can help you - they may well swap/part ex. Failing that - more recommendations for someone that could sell your chap for you and maybe help you find Mr Right?
Good luck!
 
He hacks out okay and my instructor and I can both get him to stop spooking if we really ride him betwen hand and leg and not give him the outside rein. However, even if I was to de-spook him, he will always have this in him I think and I just feel he is too much for me at my age. I have only had him for a few weeks and he has settled in well and is a very friendly boy. One of the experienced teenagers down the yard rides him and jumps him and she just gives him a kick and tells him to shape up when he spooks and it dosent bother her, but I find it very offputting as I know if he caught me offguard he could easliy shoot sideways quickly and I may fall off as my reactions are not as quick as they used to be. Would I being doing him a favour selling him to someone who is much more confident and quick thinking?
 
Some horses are spooky particularly ISH's/IDxTB's (Ive had a few) and although I dont mind it maybe you arent matched. However, before you sell him you should try to do some despooking with him. Then maybe sell him in the spring. Where are you? (just asking as Im looking for a horse).
 
I think all the physical checks are always worth doing. However, if it's a matter of a personality clash then there is no shame at all in finding a good home for him and a more suitable horse for you. He sounds like a very sellable age and type, and like a horse who is a bit sharp rather than dangerous. For myself I would take a horse like this over a plod any day, but I can completely see that he's perhaps not for you. You deserve a horse who is right for you, he deserves an owner who relishes his quirks. Good luck whatever you decide :)
 
Did he come from private sale or a dealer? Sounds similar to a livery down my yard, we all thought she needed to sell him but she herself needed to make that choice. She has now sent him back to the dealer on sales livery. It was the best thing for her and we are all sticking by her and supporting her to help find the right horse. Having horses is about enjoyment not slogging away at something making us nervous or unhappy. If I were you I would part company and find something you can enjoy your time with again. There is no shame in doing that.
 
Sounds like you are losing confidence in your own ablities, maybe you might have over horsed yourself. I'd take a step back and think what you really want to do. But try a more postive attitude on yourseld and the ruddy horse, he's not going to respect you if you don't respect yourself.:):)
 
I bought him privately and the person who owned him before didnt do loads with him apart from the odd small show and hack. I know if I put my mind to it I can ride him okay but I am not finding it enjoyable. It dosent help that my old horse hardly ever spooked, and this one will pass something ten times and then on the eleventh try and shoot sideways! I know I am not a bad rider but when you get older your confidence can take a dive and even my instructor, who is a very good rider, has to mentally concentrate fully when riding him. Perhaps, as you say he is just not for me at my time of life. Anyone want a lovely ISH?:
 
That sounds awful for you. Horses are a hobby and if this isn't the horse for you, Id sell and buy one that you can really enjoy. They are too expensive and heart wrenching to have the wrong one.


As a side note, I have recently seen an advert for a horse that states that it is calm, not spooky, hacks alone and in company and has gone to shows and that jumps. Also stated that it is a lovely horse to be around!
I know this horse and it isnt as stated. It is very spooky, but unpredictable spooky, has reared and gone over at shows and is very tense and highly strung. As for hacking, forget it!

I am so cross that they are trying to sell this horse as what sounds a nice horse, but I know it isnt. Some poor person will buy that horse and find out its 'quirks' the hard way. Why sellers cant be honest is beyond me as people are willing to take on projects, but I guess some sellers just want every penny they can and dont care about the horse!
 
I don't think you will have any trouble selling him - he sounds great! He will find the right person for him - and then you can have lots of fun finding the right chap, or chapess - for you!
 
I think it is very brave of you and honest for you to admit you and your horse are not suited. Nothing wrong with that and I commend you for doing something about it.

I think, reading your post, you will be happier to get another horse more suited to your requirements. Nothing wrong in selling your boy and I am sure there are plenty of people wanting a horse exactly like him. Don't undersell him just because you are not suited. He clearly has a lot to offer someone and just because he isn't right for you doesn't mean he won't be perfect for someone else.

I see too many unhappy people, with unhappy horses, because they are unsuited but just won't admit it, almost looking at it like they are defeated. I look at it as doing whats best for both horse and rider and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Good luck and let us know what you decide x
 
Falling off hurts more when you are older..lower your sights a bit and get a comfy horse so that you can always come home with a smile on your face.Riding should be enjoyable relaxation,not a test of nerves.
 
I agree with EchoBravo, it does sound like you are losing your confidence and the horse knows it and re-acts accordingly. I am also in my late 50's and have been riding since I was 8. I have a very high energy Friesian who I have owned for two years. He has always been a jolly ride:D and it has never bothered me as he's lovely to be around and is what I call all mouth and trousers. I know he would never bolt, rear or spin on me. He just always looks like he's going to do all three. A couple of months ago we had quite a major issue with a car, resulting in my friends horse rearing, her falling off on a busy main road and bolting. My horse as nature dictates followed him. It took me about a good half mile to stop him, but stop him I did. My friends horse retraced the whole hack and ended up back at the trailer. I was never going to ride again after this: I found myself a therapist/instructor who within two lessons had made me see that the accident had also terrified my horse and I needed to step up to the plate and support my horse not sit and wait for him to make his own decisions. I am by know means saying you should put up with a horse that doesn't suit you but I don't think we always realise how much our horses look to us for support. I am glad to say that Barney and I are back on an even keel now. He is still all mouth and trousers:D but I know that there is not an ounce of malice in him. The very best of luck:)
 
Archiesmummy said:
I think it is very brave of you and honest for you to admit you and your horse are not suited. Nothing wrong with that and I commend you for doing something about it.

I think, reading your post, you will be happier to get another horse more suited to your requirements. Nothing wrong in selling your boy and I am sure there are plenty of people wanting a horse exactly like him. Don't undersell him just because you are not suited. He clearly has a lot to offer someone and just because he isn't right for you doesn't mean he won't be perfect for someone else.

I see too many unhappy people, with unhappy horses, because they are unsuited but just won't admit it, almost looking at it like they are defeated. I look at it as doing whats best for both horse and rider and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Good luck and let us know what you decide x
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Just what I wanted to write! Nothing wrong with admitting that the horse is not quite what you want - nothing wrong with you or the horse, you're just not a good match. I wish more people had your sense. Hope you find something that suits you more...x

PS. For the person that said ISHs are typically spooky - what rot! I have two that event, and they would both do handy pony too if I asked them!
 
Hi,

Why not look at your situation this way (might make it easier?).

If you had "married" a person who was unsuitable and made you unhappy, I guess you would probably walk away... get a divorce. You would not wish to spend time in the company of another human being, who upset you or made you unhappy.

It is still early days with this animal but you have already needed "relate" (input from an experience instructor) for support.... at the early stages when you should be bonding with this animal horse. Its still relationship albeit human or animal....

I am, trying to be humerous - but obviously there is a point - Good Luck whatever you decide x
 
I dont think its a case of respect .. yourself or the horse. If you can find him a good home. then do so.You might think youve conquered it but one day he may spook, catch you unawares and you will be on the floor. Your confidence will then be even further damaged. I know I bought a horse like this. I still have her but now have a lovely laid back thoroughbred who I can relax on and hack everywhere. Older bones take longer to heal. Good luck in whatever you decide to do.
 
I think as most have said, if he's not for you and is making you more nervy then it isn't the best relationship is it and, if you are just wanting something you can hack out and enjoy etc then maybe he's just not for you. On the plus side he sounds like a great horse and I am sure you would not struggle to sell him as it doesn't sound like there's any nastiness about it, he just sounds like a bit of a monkey!

I have to say my horse who I have had since he was 4 (he's 19 now) has always been spooky - in fact i think he's worse now he's older! It depends what mood he's in though and he will actually go past anything and is never dangerous. He often will spook in a school even if he's been in it 100s of times before - it's usually cos he's trying to get out of listening - once he actually concentrates he's fine and i trust him 100%. My mum also rides mine and she's over 60. However, if you can't trust the horse and don't want to have to always ride through it then I would say swap/sell him and get something more you.
 
He sounds a lovely horse, but maybe not the one for you. Possibly he'd suit an ambitious teenager as it sounds like he's got a bit of pop in him.

Its a classic case of feeling over-horsed; I'm 49 (eek) and know that I couldn't ride the horses now that I rode when I was say 29! Its a confidence thing more than anything else; its not necessarily your riding ability that's declined, far from it.

You need something a bit steadier now perhaps; best to do that before this one, albeit a lovely boy, does something silly and lands you in hospital - or worse. It can happen so easily and just ain't worth it.

Had you thought about a traditional cob? They're usually quite affable and eager to please, and come a bit more docile (in the main) than what you've got, tho' mine's not a plod, far from it, but he is definately less sharp than a warmblood. Also Welsh D's are a bit sharp too IME. OR you could go for something like a TB X Cleveland Bay or what-have-you; I had a lovely TB X Cleveland with a bit of cob and he was a lovely boy, really looked after me and could still do well at Working Hunter.

I think your boy should sell well. The other option is working livery at equestrian college: a lot of them are still desperate for horses and might take him on - this would sort your problem till next summer, and it just might be that this would do him some good.
 
EAST KENT said:
Falling off hurts more when you are older..lower your sights a bit and get a comfy horse so that you can always come home with a smile on your face.Riding should be enjoyable relaxation,not a test of nerves.
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Totaly agree. I like to relax and ejoy my riding, not have to be on guard all the time. And its not just an age thing. My daughter had a lovely TB who she had to concentrate on the whole time she was riding. In the end she sold her and got a lovely young cob. She is green but in a totally different way and they are now both in love.

Good luck whatever you decide. Sounds like your boy would be very saleable.
 
If he's not the horse for you, then he's just not the horse for you and it would be better for both of you if you both moved on. Only you can decide when enough is enough.

If you do decide to keep him for a bit longer, have you tried a magnesium calmer? It works really well for some spooky horses (not all of them clearly, but you don't know till you try!). I swear by Cool, Calm and Collected by Equifeast. Alternatively has anything changed in his feeding regime? Some horses are very sensitive to some ingredients, e.g. Rusky gets very hyper on barley. Might be worth swapping him to some other feed.
 
Thank you everyone for your replies. I am feeling very angry with myself for being such a big girls blouse and letting the spooking get to me. I know I am capable of dealing with it but have decided that unless it improves, the horse will have to be sold/swapped/part ex'd as dont want to waste what riding years I have left being miserable and frustrated. I will persever:mad:e for a bit longer and if not perhaps consider sending him off to sales livery. Unfortunately I am getting very fond of him as he is so loving so if he has to go, then I dont want to hang it out. Thank you again for all taking the time to reply.
 
Have had the horse on magnesium for two weeks and he gets no hard feed except chaff and a balancer plus ad lib hay, so dont think that is contributing to his behaviour.
 
Just a thought along physical lines, perhaps try him on some magnesium oxide. Defeciency in this can lead to spookyness as well as other things.
You can get it here if you think it's worth a try. http://www.metabolichorse.co.uk/

Just seen your last post. Sorry.
 
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He sounds like mine but with mine he is totally trying his luck as he is actually very straightforward. I can't hack him on a long rein but have to have him up and working or he will turn tail for home (first class wimp) and he is much happier in company. He is however, very predictable and easy to ride so I feel very comfortable riding him as he doesn't suddenly change or try to catch me out. He is also an ISH (of which I am a big fan).

But at the end of the day, this is supposed to be your hobby and - cliche though it is, it costs as much in time and money to keep a " bad" horse as well as a "good" one. The only thing I would add is that if you do decide to sell him, then don't underestimate his value or ability because he doesn't suit you. I did sell on a mega talented mare who certainly would do the eventing lark with no problem but I became completely fed up with her marishness and unpredictability - you never knew what would set her off or why. A friend bought her knowing why we didn't click and enjoyed great success with her but it just wasn't for me. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
 
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How long have you had him? My ISH was 6 when I bought him and he used to spook at everything and anything he could find, I did a Join Up session with him and it really helped, he doesn't spook nearly as bad now, and when he does spook it's not a full on leap in the air 180 spin around...

(I'm in my 40s BTW)
 
Your post has real familiarity for me ! I am over 60 and bought new horse a year ago, sold as confidence giver. He actually has no confidence himself, as yours ,spooks at things he goes past every day, even going in and out of the yard, and will not hack alone now.
I am working on the problem and have been able to get someone once a week to help me, which has done wonders for my confidence, although horse still spooky. He is not a youngster and probably will not change. I too have fallen for my horse as he is a lovely character. But, I had already decided this would be my last horse due to my age, and after much thought have come to the conclusion that if I dont get to ride anymore I can live with that. However, you obviously still want to ride and if it was me I would put a time limit on how long I would persevere, say 6 months ? If it doesnt come right then I would say
sell him and try and find something more laid back. Good luck.
 
If he's not right for you, no harm in selling him and finding one who is :)

However, we too have an ISH, and he can be a bit insecure... He was spooky and stressy when he arrived (which he wasn't on viewing) but after 6 months he settled in and is perfect! Some horses just take a while to adjust to new homes!
 
marioforever said:
Have had the horse on magnesium for two weeks and he gets no hard feed except chaff and a balancer plus ad lib hay, so dont think that is contributing to his behaviour.
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He could still be sensitive to ingredients in the chaff or balancer - they have to be made of something. Some horses can't tolerate alfalfa, others struggle with molasses/barley/oats/you name it. If I were you I'd take everything except the hay out of his diet for a couple of weeks and see if there is any difference. Is he eating exactly the same as in his old home or have you changed his feed at all?
 
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