Help please - new horse not the right one!

I think it's probably worth getting someone to impartially assess the situation, have a sit on the horse, watch you ride it and give you an opinion on a) what might be going on and b) if/how it might be turned around to make the situation more as you intended it to be. Even if it just means sitting down and having a conversation with someone experienced with lots of different horses and situations, that can be helpful to clarify your thoughts.

Is your current instructor someone who knows you reasonably well? Did he/she assess the horse before you bought it? Does he/she think the horse is unsuitable for you in general or are there things that might be changed to make the situation better?

All that said, if you don't get the answer you need and/or you simply want to move on from this horse as you've lost confidence in him and the negatives outweigh the positives, then there's nothing wrong with that at all.

I've had quite a few horses to assess/reschool, including some from situations where the undesirable behaviour has led to the owner being hurt. It's pretty evenly split - some people intend to keep the horse and end up selling it when they realise, even with work, it's not the horse for them; some intend to sell and end up, after some attitude adjustment on all sides, deciding to keep and go forward instead; some go with the original plan in either direction.

It depends so much on the whole situation. For some people, it's really important to know they did "everything", others need to be quicker to move on. There is no right answer, only the one you feel is best for you and the horse in question!
 
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EAST KENT said:
Falling off hurts more when you are older..lower your sights a bit and get a comfy horse so that you can always come home with a smile on your face.Riding should be enjoyable relaxation,not a test of nerves.
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Gosh I so agree! Have been there myself of late and it is a horrid place to be. I think you should try and find something more relaxing to ride and your boy does sound lovely, but as you say for another rider. I think all credit to you for your honesty and as an older rider myself I can totally empathise, its one thing knowing its mind over matter and a positive attitude can overcome but why expend all that mental effort just to try and enjoy what should come naturally. I wish you lots of luck whatever you decide to do and lots of empathetic hugs!
 
Sell him or swap him. I have a friend who has a lovely horse but it always spooks with her. When ridden in hand and leg at all times she was great, good fun horse. But I understand when you are older you dont want to do that, it needs to be less stressful and more relaxing. You are not doing anything wrong, in fact I think you would be doing the right thing for both of you :D
 
sounds like my last horse, very cuddly 15.1 Irish Cob (so called confidence giver) - he was the same age, very talented, but you really had to ride him or he would look for ways to misbehave - his favourite trick was bucking with a real twist to get me off. I hurt myself several times and my confidence plummeted.

he chucked me off for the third time and I rang the dealer - he was gone the next day - he is now at a competition home and loving it, and not bucking from what I hear! I don't miss him one bit.

fast forward two years and i now have my perfect match - I bought the horse I was sharing to get my confidence back - a ploddy cob most of the time, but as we get to know each other I am finding he has a cheeky side and can shift! lol -he loves his jumping and I am actually enjoying riding again.

I know how you feel, and it is important to feel safe on your horse, and to have fun.
 
find a new one - they are expensive beasties and sometimes there is a personality clash - its not anyones fault - but he just sounds not right for you and what you want out of a horse - i'm sure you'll find a nice new one soon and he'll go to a home where he's got a rider who suits him more- win win situation imho :)
 
Having posted this thread - I have decided to keep the horse for a while and see how we get on. He is so good in all other ways so I am determined to give it my best shot. When he jumps or has things to think about then he forgets about spooking. Unfortunately I would like to do some low level dressage with him, and I am not sure if the flatwork taxes his mind enough to eliminate the occasional shooting sideways or quickening to get past something! He is probably most teenagers dream horse as I have had two girls ride and jump him and they say he is a real confidence giver jumping and dosent stop or run out etc and the spooking whilst warming up, even though it is a bit annoying, dosent faze them at all! My OH bought me a Point Two Air Jacket and although my instructor thinks it is OTT for flatwork and hacking, it has given me confidence when I ride him which hopefully will help. He has never unseated me and I know I can cope but it isnt enjoyable. Lets hope he improves. Will keep you all informed and thank you so much for all the very kind comments.:D
 
marioforever said:
Having posted this thread - I have decided to keep the horse for a while and see how we get on. He is so good in all other ways so I am determined to give it my best shot. When he jumps or has things to think about then he forgets about spooking. Unfortunately I would like to do some low level dressage with him, and I am not sure if the flatwork taxes his mind enough to eliminate the occasional shooting sideways or quickening to get past something! He is probably most teenagers dream horse as I have had two girls ride and jump him and they say he is a real confidence giver jumping and dosent stop or run out etc and the spooking whilst warming up, even though it is a bit annoying, dosent faze them at all! My OH bought me a Point Two Air Jacket and although my instructor thinks it is OTT for flatwork and hacking, it has given me confidence when I ride him which hopefully will help. He has never unseated me and I know I can cope but it isnt enjoyable. Lets hope he improves. Will keep you all informed and thank you so much for all the very kind comments.:D
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Wishing you every success and happiness - I too am going to invest in a good body protector after my recent fall, hope it helps! Do let us know how you progress
 
Good luck with him. My ISH put me on the floor numerous times in the first couple of months I had him :rolleyes: he had a tremendous spook and leap to the side and then would slam the brakes out, resulting in me sitting on the floor looking up at him :eek: I found that over time our bond developed and TBH I can't remember the last time he spooked.
Glad you're giving him a bit more time, hope everything works out well
 
Just an idea which should be easy to try, this worked with F who was also easily distracted when younger. Pop some poles in random places in the school and work round them. Sometimes go over them, sometimes do circles around them, place them across the diagonals, etc. They may give him something else to focus on.

May I also just say that your instructor is a bit silly to put you off your BP. I ride with a BP on the flat and on hacks as I think it makes me that tiny bit safer. If you are happy using it, do so!
 
There is no shame in getting a new horse if this one doesn't suit. He would prob love a teenage galloping about, doing XC and booting him when he is naughty!

I am also older and understand exactly where you are coming from. My last horse I sold to go to uni was a dream. Very unspooky and sensible though only 4. I sent her to a pro dressage rider to be sold thinking she would go to an older amateur that was ambitious. Well she was bought by the stable rider at the yard! He LOVED riding her. All day he rides the spooky, the naughty and occassionally the mad (generally very talented though). She was talented - maybe didn't cry out international GP horse - but she was very nice. For his own horse he just wanted to have fun and end each ride with a smile - and look forward to riding her after a long hard day of riding difficult horses. If a talented young pro rider wants a safe, non spooky horse that he enjoys riding there is no shame for you not to do the same :D
 
I have been in your exact situation recently.
I bought my horse in feb this year....sold to me as quiet, uncomplicated, happy hacker etc etc....tried him....he was fine...he was a 14.2 Irish sports pony.
It transpired she hadnt ridden him for a while....he was the world most difficult hack....he would napp and buck and spin and rear and run backwards and bunny hop.
He was a fantastic jumper but at events he would go bezerk.
He nearly killed me on a fun ride....so after nearly 6 months i said enough was enough.
I gave it my best shot and but because i work 6 days a week and often till late in the evening i couldnt guarantee that there would be people to hack out with and although i was capable of sitting to his bucks and rears etc....i just didnt want to fight with him all the time.
It transpired he had been awful for everyone but one owner. She helped me a lot in trying to deal with him...but because she is 2.5 hours away she could only help via the phone etc. I have put him on loan to her and he is fine. He was also very spooky...would spook at everything and would whip round quick as a flash or leap sideways.
I didnt mind the spooking....but the rest was getting too much.
I was heartbroken to see him go....but it was right for both of us.
I have now got a new horse who is restoring my faith in horses.....she is a 16.1 TB x WB.

Good luck with giving your new horse some more time. I really hope it works out for you both and you enjoy each other.
If not....then let the horse go to someone who will enjoy it....and get one that you can really just relax on and have fun with as hard as it may be to part with the horse.

Really good idea re the body protector though....sometimes things like that give us a bit of a psychological boost that helps overcome the nerves.
 
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