Help please, not sure where to turn - stressed (I think) dog

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catherine22

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Bear with me this may be long but I’m not sure where to turn next

4 weeks ago, we took my dog to a dog sitters, who is a very good friend of mine, to see how he coped. The first day, he was ok. He whinged a bit while they were at home but he was fine out walking – he had to go on his lead to get away from the car park but then he was fine, and was playing with the other dogs.
The second day he was much better, no lead and no whinging while at home so we thought he was settled. The reason we starting taking him there was because we work full time and our other was very old and was soon to be pts, so we wanted a plan in place before it happened. The next week she was pts on the Wednesday (he was there and saw what happened). Thursday and Friday I was off work so he was with me.
On Saturday we went on holiday (with the dog) for a week and he wasn’t quite himself but we put this down to being in a strange house and having a different routine.
We came back from holiday and he seemed ok when we came in the house. On Wednesday (my mum and dad have in 2 afternoons a week so had him Mon and Tues) he went to the dog sitters. He was awful, tried to run off from her so he did all the walks on his lead, he was pacing around the house and whining when they were in. He went again on Thursday and his behaviour was the same as Wednesday. On Friday, we went to leave for work and he point blank refused to leave our house, so he stayed at home all day, which he appeared to cope with fine.
Today I went to ride and my parents usually have him, but there had been miscommunication and they were unable to. I rang the dog sitter and asked if she’d have him for a couple of hours, no walk required just looking after. He was there 2 hours, ate his jumbone and then led next to her whining and shaking the entire time.
So clearly him going there is really stressing him out, but we don’t know why? He knows her 2 dogs and gets on fine with them, is he grieving for our old dog and just needs more time, is he confused from going on holiday or all/ none of the above. The alternative his staying at home on his own all day (10 hours) everyday – he does have a dog flap, but I don’t think he should be left that long, especially alone. His behaviour is normal at home and when out on walks with us. He is a weimeraner, is 5 and we’ve had him since he was 18 months. I’m looking at getting him an adaptil collar and/or contacting a behaviourist, but I’m not sure what is best to do to try and help him

Any suggestions appreciated, including for behaviourists in the New Forest area

Thanks for reading
 
I think you are over thinking things, if he's happy at home when you are out working or riding then just do that.....seems a better option than sending him elsewhere if that just stresses him ! He's got a dog flap and sounds like he would be fine to leave.
 
One thing i can not abide is a dog that won't accept being alone. It is too stressful for me and them. So any dog i have ever had has had time alone, every day, to get used to their own company. It is a little like letting the baby cry itself to sleep in the cot. Your dog has WAY too much contact and in my opinion needs to learn to be happy by itself. It is much less stressful for it then. If you are willing and able to, start leaving him alone in the kitchen with either a baby gate or the door closed for say 15mins, then out again, few days later leave it to 30mins, etc etc. Don't give any attention, don't talk at all to the dog and absolutely NO comforting when he is whining or shaking. It will take time but the benefit outweighs the stress at the time.
 
Thanks both, he does seem to be fine on his own, and he does spend time alone like when we go out for dinner/ shopping or when i ride if mum and dad aren't around he stays at home. I just don't think it's fair on him to spend that much time along but as pointed out, if he's happy then it doesn't matter. Maybe I am over thinking this too much and should just carry on as we are
Equi - he was whinging and shaking at the dog sitters, he doesn't do it at home, and she did just ignore him as she didn't want to reinforce his behaviour. At home, he'll go to his own bed while we're in the lounge or will sometimes stay downstairs when we go to bed so he isn't with us all the time. Before we had our old dog pts they would both stay at home together while we were at work, so he's used to being without us
 
I would think that his life has been turned upside down. Personally I'd leave him at home, and reintroduce the dog sitters when he's got over the loss of his friend.
 
Some dogs can become very stressed when they lose a friend. If he is happier at home I would leave him there rather than persevere with the dog sitter. Would it be possible to have a dog walker come in during the day to take him out so he is not left on his own for the full 10 hours?
 
Thanks amymay, and I'm guessing the 'when he's got over the loss of his friend' bit, is a bit how long is a piece of string?
The thing that worries us, is what if he does start being destructive/ showing signs of stress at being left at home all day, then what do we do/ what does he want us to do?
MM - on days when my parents can't have him all afternoon they have tried walking him from our house, then leaving him but he's more stressed when they leave him than when we leave him in the morning. Maybe I should ask our dog sitter to come down and try that as he's not so attached to her as he is my parents
 
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Ah right, in that case yeah leave him home. Can you imagine if you had to leave your house every day to go to someone elses house and just sit and wait to go home again? I'd go insane. Have a dog walker instead, who can come in and take him for a walk in the day.
 
Thanks equi, I know when you put it like that then it sounds obvious, but we thought as he gets 3/4/5 walks a day at the dog sitters (as she walks other dogs as well and he just goes along) and has company all day both dog and human, he'd be happier but it would appear not.
Will look into her walking him, rather than 'sitting' him, as my parent's coming in and walking him then leaving him stresses him more
 
I know it is soon to think of another, but honestly i'm the worst for empty nests, can't have them. I get a new friend pretty soon after a loss. I left getting another dog for 2 years and i felt bad leaving my dog every day (she had two dogs but both died in the same week from oldness) now i don't feel so bad.

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Another dog is a possibility, not the one in the ad below as he seems to need a more active life than being at home all day, and we previously had 3, then 2, and now down to 1, so we're well used to having more than one, but as at the dog sitters he has company and he's still not settled we don't want to risk getting one, then having to return it as he's still the same
 
An older dog who has been used to the life you are offering will be perfect. Mayeb the same sort of age as yours
 
i think a lot of it is down to a massive disruption to his routine and the grief losing a friend.
i have a rescue who is great being left (3-4 days a week for 6-7 hours if OH cant pop in when working near by) but he does like his home and sort of routine e.g. yard every morning and if left he gets a pigs ear! if we go to my friends up the road for dinner he comes with and plays with their dog and kids in the garden, but then when we go in the living room he just takes ages to settle- when at home he is always on his bed. would a bed of his own at the day care house help so he has his own space?
my dog has a stroppy cat for company.
all the best
 
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