Help Please, what to do?

Vizslak

Vizslak

Well-Known Member
Joined
8 December 2008
Messages
6,898
Visit site
Right guys, I never thought I would ever have to be typing this :(
My OH left me on friday. I'm in dire straits, I cannot survive (literally not emotionally) on my own.
I don't work as I have an illness. The only income I get is my incapacity payment of 67 a week. The most housing benefit I can get as a single with no dependants is 397 a month. I have four dogs and 3 horses!
Now the dogs, I will never rehome, I don't know how yet but I will find a way because to be perfectly honest they are all I have left and I am not becoming someone who only gets out of bed in the morning to watch richard and judy.
The horses, I am never going to be able to keep. The trouble is none of them are resaleable, my old pony I have had forever is 30 and semi retired, needs copd and lami managing. My ex hunter mare is retired through injury and can never be ridden, she has good enough confo to be a brood but we have tried in the past extensively ourselves without luck. And last but not least I have the young lad, who is very quirky at the best of times, really landed on his feet with me and my oodles of patience and also is currently rehabilitating and undergoing veterinary treatment for an SI injury. BUT when fixed would be a fab competition prospect, although even then I am dubious about selling him, he really is the type that will end up past from pillar to post and not given another chance like he has had here. My thoughts at the moment (and have been since all this happened) is that the most responsible thing to do for all 3 will be to pts. As much as that breaks my heart, I love them all very very dearly and never in the world did I expect to find myself having to make such a tough decision.
SO guys, I don't know, any thoughts, suggestions, comments?
 
I can't see that anyone would want them on loan?! :(
The house is and land is rented. My ex is paying for me to stay here until the lease is up in the middle of august.
 
fumanchu said:
i personally would PTS.

Then you will have absolutely no worries about their future.
Click to expand...

My thoughts too, and what I would type if this was someone elses post. It's a lot easier to type it than for it to be a reality though.
 
Oh I am sorry to hear your news. Firstly don't rush in to anything, it's all very raw and you are in panic mode at the moment.

Is there any way you can reduce your horse cost, cheaper livery? Perhaps getting a sharer for the quirky one, perhaps seeing if the ex-hunter could be a companion. There was someone on here looking for a hack and 2 companions and weren't getting anywhere with the rescue organisations.


I'm not going to tell you what to do only you know what's best but take you time over it and don't rush in to anything.

Masssibe hugs and vibes for you. X X X
 
Thanks for your kind words, I know from the outside those would be sensible suggestions but there is NO WAY I am going to be able to have any horses at all in any capacity! I don't have a clue how I am even going to find a place to live with the money I will have and four dogs...that alone is virtually an impossible task :(
 
I am SO SO SO sorry, what an absolute awful situation. Biggest hugs to you and lots of vibes to be strong and get through it :o

Horsewise - I have to agree that for the first two I think to have them PTS would be best. You would know that there last days were being so spoilt and loved and that the went out as very happy very loved horses.....

With the younger it would be a shame as there is a chance there that he can have a productive life but I agree that finding him a home would be really hard. i personally would try and have a cut off point where if you haven't managed to get him homed/loaned then he is PTS then.

Have you thought of calling any of the horse charities for a frank discussion about what options you have to sign them over to a charity? Maybe that's only a consideration for the youngest though?

1million% agree that you NEED your dogs, they keep you sane, they'lll always be your best friend and they will keep you busy and show you that life goes on :)
 
What area are you in? You never know, if you are close geographically to someone on here, maybe someone can help?

It's a horrible situation and i'm so sorry. I hope you get a miracle... i can't imagine having to make this sort of decision and i do wish you all the best.
 
Go to the benefits office and explain your predicament. I think now that you are on your own, and on Incapacity benefit they will help with your rent. I think you are in a panic just now and pretty shocked that you can't think too straight. There must be more help you can get. Nobody can live on £67 per week. Call the benefits place and see where you stand.
Really sorry you are having a tough time, you will work things out though. Would he not help you out a bit more than he is offering?
 
I'm really sorry to hear this hun :(

I agree that you should go to the benefits office or CAB, although you may not be able to keep the horses you might find you are entitled to more money which will ease your situation a little.
 
What an awful situation for you and i'm sure there would be others in the same boat but for the grace of god. I don't envy you at all.

If this was me hell would freeze over before anything happened to my dogs but I don't feel the same for my horse and in your shoes he would be PTS if I couldn't find any other option.
 
I have exhausted all avenues on the money front guys. I know it seems unbeliveable but that is the reality. I have been to CAB, DSS, local council etc...the figures I have given in the OP are the reality I'm afraid.
 
fumanchu said:
i personally would PTS.

Then you will have absolutely no worries about their future.
Click to expand...

i agree.

i feel so so bad for you, but its the only way to well, sleep at night quite honestly..


I have been there myself - you can pm me if you want as i dont want to put it on an open board.
 
Might be worth ringing the WHW or Redwings, I suspect they will tell you the best option is to PTS , but at least then you have thier backing as well as your own thoughts that it's best option. Or they just might have room or know of someone for 1 or all 3 of them.
Got to be worth a phone call.
 
This is a long shot...I know you said you have an illness, but are you able to, say, look after horses? Sometimes there are jobs advertised with accom which might solve your problems.

Another possibility might be retirement grazing which might be cheaper for you.

Having them PTS may be the responsible route, but it is pretty harrowing so think carefully first. Plus you need to consider that there is quite a hefty cost involved by the time you have paid the vet's fees and disposal.

What about placing an ad at your local tack shop explaining your situation and seeing if there are any good samaritan's out there who would rehome one of your horses?

Best wishes to you, it is the situation that we all dread.
 
Horrible situation, I feel for you.

I know that you say you can't work, but I have a feeling that if you can look after 4 dogs and 3 horses then could you do some casual work? What is going through my mind is that if for example you could swap livery for your horse in exchange for a few hours cleaning a week or looking after their horses, that may give you enough money to get him to a saleable state?? The money involved would probably be so small it wouldn't affect your benefit rights.

(PS cleaning can be well paid - I pay £10/hour!!).

Just a thought?
 
My thoughts are with you, it happened to me 13 years ago. This situation has just happened. Please stop thinking about PTS your horses yet, its all just too much to deal with at the moment. Nothing in life is unsermountable(sp) and given time things usually work themselves out. You are not yet in a position to calmly work things out....... breathe..... The last thing you should be thinking at the moment is your horses. They will be fine for a few weeks, you need to get used to whats happened, and concentrate on a solution, there is always a solution, just that you cant see it yet. Nobody will see you on the streets, It just doesnt happen, you cant be kicked out of your house as everyone has a right to a roof over their head. Social Services will have to pay your rent, either that or find you other accommadation, they are not going to that when you already have a house to live in. I know just how you are feeling, but dont panick just yet. Good luck and stay calm. It wont ever look as black as it does now ever again. Keep your horses. It will be ok.
 
What an awful situation for you :( I do agre that pts is the best option though, definitely for the older two and if you can't find a home for the younger one, then that one too, after all it is a buyers market, we're in a recession and people are struggling to sell horses that don't have health issues sadly, so best preparing for the worst. If you think that he is the type to end up passed from pillar to post then I would probably pts anyway, once he is sold you will just be worrying and have lost all control over his welfare. I have already decided that if I couldn't keep my horse for any reason I would pts after seeing bad experiences others have had when selling.

First things first though is that you need to get your benefits sorted out so that you can receive what you are entitled to. (ah sorry, just read your later post which says you've done that)

As awful as it seems at the moment you will get through it and be emotionally a stronger person. I hope all goes as well as it can for you, good luck.
 
Last edited:
i feel so terrible for you, what a horrible situation to be in.

is there anyway you could find someone somewhere (i do sometimes see them advertised) who is looking for someone to help them with their horses, and in exchange they give you free livery and accommodation. you could take the younger horse with you?

i really feel for you, i hope there is someone local on here who can help you xxx
 
Thanks for all the replies guys, I have to go out and sort the horses out now but will be back this evening.
 
I cant imagine how you are feeling at the moment, so want to send you a hug 1st and fore most!
I have 2 horses on a shoe string, earning £78 a week as a groom, and then some cash here and there from dog walking and riding others horses. Could you do the same?
Are you mobile enough to walk dogs for neighbours? Put an ad up in your local tack/feed shops as a skip and tuck service (putting out/bringing in/skipping out boxes or fields etc)
If your neds are on DIY already, could you maybe go to grass livery, even just cutting down on the bedding you use per week could give you the money to keep them a couple more weeks?
I hope that you find a solution to your situation, I really do. I'll keep my fingers crossed! x
 
Cannot belive some of these replies.
I am sorry that your husband left you and you feel unable to work but thats where my sympathy ends
Do the people paying your incapacity benifit know you are able to look after all these animals?????
You are obviously capable of doing some sort of paid work.
Unless your illness is something psycological of course.
I honestly do not belive that anyone on these benifits should have this many animals.
Have you thought about offering to turn other peoples horses out, mucking out etc in exchange for a few quid?

I cannot belive people are suggesting she go and beg to the council, they have people going in and saying they cannot feed themselves, or use any electric, heating etc.
Why would they care if someone says they cant afford their menagery of animals.
I work full time at an ok job and can only just about afford one horse.
 
I was one of those who recommended seeking advice from the benefits agency, not to keep animals, but to support herself. The majority of the posts have suggested putting to sleep or rehoming her horses and it appears it was the other half who was paying for their upkeep, which why the op faces having to have them pts/rehomed now.

I think that claiming benefits will be increasingly difficult in future anyway and get much more angry towards the wealthy mp's who rob the taxpayer for thousands.
 
251libby said:
Cannot belive some of these replies.
I am sorry that your husband left you and you feel unable to work but thats where my sympathy ends
Do the people paying your incapacity benifit know you are able to look after all these animals?????
You are obviously capable of doing some sort of paid work.
Unless your illness is something psycological of course.
I honestly do not belive that anyone on these benifits should have this many animals.
Have you thought about offering to turn other peoples horses out, mucking out etc in exchange for a few quid?

I cannot belive people are suggesting she go and beg to the council, they have people going in and saying they cannot feed themselves, or use any electric, heating etc.
Why would they care if someone says they cant afford their menagery of animals.
I work full time at an ok job and can only just about afford one horse.
Click to expand...

That is very much out of order. You do not know the OP or her circumstances. Incapacity benefit is not handed out to just anyone. :mad:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top