Help Please, what to do?

251libby said:
Cannot belive some of these replies.
I am sorry that your husband left you and you feel unable to work but thats where my sympathy ends
Do the people paying your incapacity benifit know you are able to look after all these animals?????
You are obviously capable of doing some sort of paid work.
Unless your illness is something psycological of course.
I honestly do not belive that anyone on these benifits should have this many animals.
Have you thought about offering to turn other peoples horses out, mucking out etc in exchange for a few quid?

I cannot belive people are suggesting she go and beg to the council, they have people going in and saying they cannot feed themselves, or use any electric, heating etc.
Why would they care if someone says they cant afford their menagery of animals.
I work full time at an ok job and can only just about afford one horse.
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*EMERGENCY*

TACT AND EMPATHY TRANSPLANT NEEDED FOR 251libby
 
251libby said:
Cannot belive some of these replies.
I am sorry that your husband left you and you feel unable to work but thats where my sympathy ends
Do the people paying your incapacity benifit know you are able to look after all these animals?????
You are obviously capable of doing some sort of paid work.
Unless your illness is something psycological of course.
I honestly do not belive that anyone on these benifits should have this many animals.
Have you thought about offering to turn other peoples horses out, mucking out etc in exchange for a few quid?

I cannot belive people are suggesting she go and beg to the council, they have people going in and saying they cannot feed themselves, or use any electric, heating etc.
Why would they care if someone says they cant afford their menagery of animals.
I work full time at an ok job and can only just about afford one horse.
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God how callous and horrible of you! Please get off this thread if you can't/won't say anything helpful.

OP I just want to say that, however this all works out, we are all here for you, if I was in Somerset I'd be right round to your house with cake and *hugs* !

xxx
 
I really do feel sorry for your sudden problem, but maybe you could get a part time job if possible because if you can look after all your animals you maybe should not get incapacity benefit unless you are incapacitated and your horses are on full livery which would cost a fortune, I hope things work out for you. If you could work you could get working tax credit (govt depending) best of luck
 
Peopl are suggesting, Libby, that the OP makes sure she is claiming those benefits to which she is legally entitled as Incapacity Benefit is set at a low level, making survival difficult with or without horses. What a shame you can't read as well as you can make hurtful and insensitive comments.
 
251libby said:
Cannot belive some of these replies.
I am sorry that your husband left you and you feel unable to work but thats where my sympathy ends
Do the people paying your incapacity benifit know you are able to look after all these animals?????
You are obviously capable of doing some sort of paid work.
Unless your illness is something psycological of course.
I honestly do not belive that anyone on these benifits should have this many animals.
Have you thought about offering to turn other peoples horses out, mucking out etc in exchange for a few quid?

I cannot belive people are suggesting she go and beg to the council, they have people going in and saying they cannot feed themselves, or use any electric, heating etc.
Why would they care if someone says they cant afford their menagery of animals.
I work full time at an ok job and can only just about afford one horse.
Click to expand...

Jeeesus how caring of you. Under normal circumstances I get fairly angry about benefit scammers BUT the OP is not a scammer, she already had her animals and now finds herself in this situation - talk about kicking someone whilst their down :mad:
 
I just realised that I hadn't actually made any helpful comment to Vislak.

I am really sorry to hear what's happened and I can't really imagine how you are feeling. From the answers on here so far I suspect that the most practical and supportive will be fumanchu. I guess we both know what the outcome will probably be but she will help you with the practicalities.

There is one other suggestion I have. Someone else with a problem horse had an offer from Martlin to help out. Whether your young lad would be something she could handle I don't know but it might be worth PMing her to find out.

The only practical help I can give is that Martlin is a good bit further north than me, if you can get someone to transport say half way between Somerset and North Cambs then I could be prepared to meet them and take the horse the rest of the way, if that helps with any arrangements.

Best wishes that you can come to a suitable solution and get on with the rest of your life.
 
SirenaXVI said:
Jeeesus how caring of you. Under normal circumstances I get fairly angry about benefit scammers BUT the OP is not a scammer, she already had her animals and now finds herself in this situation - talk about kicking someone whilst their down :mad:
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Would just like to add - Im Deaf, Have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Severe depression....I cant get Incapacity Benefit, so the OP must be deserving of it!!!! I
f the OP's ex provided the finances for the horses and dogs, then obviously she is up poop creek without a paddle, hence why she is panicing and desperate!
Try and show a bit of sensitivity!!
 
jemima_too said:
I just realised that I hadn't actually made any helpful comment to Vislak.

I am really sorry to hear what's happened and I can't really imagine how you are feeling. From the answers on here so far I suspect that the most practical and supportive will be fumanchu. I guess we both know what the outcome will probably be but she will help you with the practicalities.

There is one other suggestion I have. Someone else with a problem horse had an offer from Martlin to help out. Whether your young lad would be something she could handle I don't know but it might be worth PMing her to find out.

The only practical help I can give is that Martlin is a good bit further north than me, if you can get someone to transport say half way between Somerset and North Cambs then I could be prepared to meet them and take the horse the rest of the way, if that helps with any arrangements.

Best wishes that you can come to a suitable solution and get on with the rest of your life.
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I'm here, reading the thread and not knowing what to say to make the OP feel better:(
Happy to help on the horse front if interested at all.
 
V, I am so sorry to hear this, what is F's current regime requirement atm? is he on box rest or in field etc? or does it not matter. It might help me come up with some options at least in the short to medium term. I don't immediately know of anyone looking for companions off the top of my head but can certainly put the word around, though part of me does think, if you cant risk having them back then pts might be the best option for the other 2 am not really sure on that one without thinking about it more tbh.

have a ((hug)) in the very least.
 
251libby,I have a friend who has an auto immune condition. A lot of the time she is fine, but when she has "crisis" days she can't get out of bed. She tried to keep working but not many employers want to take on someone who they can't rely on. In the end she was advised to claim Incapacity Benefit. Neither you nor I know what the OPs health problem is so please do not much such harsh, sweeping statements.
Viszlak, can't offer any help but have a hug.
 
martlin said:
I'm here, reading the thread and not knowing what to say to make the OP feel better:(
Happy to help on the horse front if interested at all.
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I felt like that. If OP contacts you and anything can be sorted out between you my offer of transport help is very genuine.
 
251libby said:
Cannot belive some of these replies.
I am sorry that your husband left you and you feel unable to work but thats where my sympathy ends
Do the people paying your incapacity benifit know you are able to look after all these animals?????
You are obviously capable of doing some sort of paid work.
Unless your illness is something psycological of course.
I honestly do not belive that anyone on these benifits should have this many animals.
Have you thought about offering to turn other peoples horses out, mucking out etc in exchange for a few quid?

I cannot belive people are suggesting she go and beg to the council, they have people going in and saying they cannot feed themselves, or use any electric, heating etc.
Why would they care if someone says they cant afford their menagery of animals.
I work full time at an ok job and can only just about afford one horse.
Click to expand...

My OH was on incapacity benefit no so long back after spinal surgery and we have 9 dogs and at the time 2 horses.....should I have gotten rid of my animals because my OH was on incapacity, on should he have refused benefit because we had so many animals??? and I was still working....as this will be the exact same predicament Vizslak would have been in, she now finds herself on her OWN without the support of her OH, how do you know her OH did not do all of the caring she could not, like cleaning horses? my OH still walked our dogs when he was recovering! as advised by the physio, but was under strict instruction to go at his own pace and rest and refrain from WORK, could he have rested when he felt like it at work? I think not!
I did all the back breaking stuff when OH was bad, there is nothing back breaking about dealing with dogs! but horses still needed a fair bit of back breaking work, hence why Vizzy is prioritising them as first to go as she no doubt realised SHE COULD NOT COPE with their care on her own.
Seriously your comments where well OTT, im glad u realised it too:mad:
 
What an awful situation to be in, none of us know what is round the corner so i don't think anyone is in a position to judge. I count my blessings every single day.

I have no practical advice, other than I totally understand if you decided to PTS. I own four horses and three have resale value, apart from my semi-retired TB, if I could no longer care for him I would have him PTS.

I hope you find a way to sort things out.
 
Ok, it looks pretty **** today but a week or so might see things have changed massively, so don't be hasty and start having horses pts and so on. If you can manage a few hours (physically and within the benefits allowance) could you manage to do a horse job which includes the keep of one of yours? Martlin has offered to be a safety net and I am sure someone may have 'breathing space room a small' one if push comes to shove. I'm too far north to be of any help but would have had just such a space in an emergency.

So sorry you find yourself in this predicament and I hope you soon get your wits and a plan together.

I'm afraid I'd sell my body on the streets sooner than sell any of mine...
 
Errr I don't know what to say really. I have had several Pm's regarding possible for solutions for the young lad, thank you all, please don't think me rude if I take my time to reply, fortunately the ONE thing I do have on my side at the moment is I have some time and nothing needs to be too immediate. I would like to take some time to work offers etc out in my head and make sure I really am doing the right thing. As I'm sure you realise, right now, I'm not sure how well equipped I am emotionally to do that!

In regards to the post from libby. Thank you for your apology libby. Others have already put across my situation well in my defence I think but I would like to add that I have SLE, a serious autoimmune condition. When I met my OH I was in a very high paid job and able to support myself. Since ceasing work my OH has supported me and the animals entirely and that has included doing the horses and walking the dogs on days when I was unable to through ill health. Please believe me when I say, I'm no scrounger, nothing makes me angrier and if I could go back to work then I would not be in this prediciment, with a few cuts here and there I could more than afford to keep all my animals without problem, nothing right now would make me happier than for someone to give me a magic pill and make me well again so that I could do that.
 
MurphysMinder said:
251libby,I have a friend who has an auto immune condition. A lot of the time she is fine, but when she has "crisis" days she can't get out of bed. She tried to keep working but not many employers want to take on someone who they can't rely on. In the end she was advised to claim Incapacity Benefit. Neither you nor I know what the OPs health problem is so please do not much such harsh, sweeping statements.
Viszlak, can't offer any help but have a hug.
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I see you say you suffer from SLE Viszlak, that is the condition my friend has so I totally understand your situation. As I have already said people should not judge when they don't know the facts.
 
Vislak, I can't imagine what you're going through. I couldn't cope emotionally if OH left me, nevermind physically! If I was able to help out in any way possible I would. Unfortunately I don't have room for any other horses, and I'm a very long way from Somerset.

BUT, I can see that you are trying to do the right thing for your horses, your dogs and indeed for yourself. It's so good to see that people are out there already doing what they can to help you. I think you, and they, deserve a whopping great round of applause. :)

((hugs))
 
Just to add to the sorries on the board... what an awful thing to go through - and no one has actually gone near the fact that your OH has left. Regardless of whether you knew this was coming/wanted him gone/etc etc, actually splitting up is just awful on top of everything.

I am in Surrey so not much help unless you needed help with transport in this area!. Just another thought to get help with your dogs - would the cinnamon trust be able to help you with walks? they are a charity that walks dogs for elderly/ill people who are unable to do so. Agree that ringing a horse welfare charity like Redwings/Blue cross/Veteran is a good idea - they might be able to help or at least help you make up your mind. Sounds like you might have got your youngster sorted out. Good luck, I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through so I hope the support this board is giving you is helping a bit.
 
fumanchu said:
i personally would PTS.

Then you will have absolutely no worries about their future.
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Have to say I agree with this! However, you do have one saleable/loanable one once fixed. Reducing to one will help your situation, and if you loan you will still be able to have a horse when your situation eventually resolves.
 
Sorry to hear this Vislak, I cannot offer anything useful apart from huge vibes, I have been somehwhere near where you are now and please believe, everything will be ok in the end. x
 
I can't think of any miracle solutions at the moment but please don't make any big decisions whilst everything is so raw and chaotic.

If you can think of any ways in which I might be able to help please let me know

Very best wishes at this stressful and traumatic time, let me know if you want to chat

Ali x x
 
I send you my sincere best wishes and hope with a little bit of time and reflection and help from others your situation will pan out and have a satisfactory outcome.

I am so sorry to hear about your problems x

Best wishes and a cyber hug (((())))) x
 
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