Help Please, what to do?

Gosh can you lot read my mind or something! The ex, or '******' as he shall from here on be known, bought me a fairly decent digital SLR for my birthday this year, photos was another maybe on my list.
 
see.... there's all sorts that you could be up to! :)

I like the idea of finding someone who can share your rent and livery and help out when you're not feeling too great. Obviously, finding the right person would be tough, but probably worth it!

Ps. I'm very jealous of the digital SLR.... OH won't buy us one, as he feels we can't justify it. Says him who downloaded 450 pics from our last holiday (1 week in the UK, including 2 friends weddings)! :eek:
 
I can't offer practical support as I'm too far away, but just wanted to say I'm thinking of you, and that I hope this works itself out, somehow. You've had some lovely kind offers and ideas and its times like this that I love this place :cool:

Huge hugs, bars of choccie and plenty of wine xxx
 
wow. posted on this on page 1 and now you have loads of replies, offers of help, ideas for making money, invites to bbq's etc. What a great site this can be when the chips are down.
I am too far away to do anything with gee gees etc but can i be the first to offer the use of a pretty sturdy garlic crusher for the ratbags gonads. Maybe he should suffer a bit now. :D I will even offer to do the crushing.
I know a bit how you are feeling as i had a health situation where I thought I couldn't keep my donks. One being my sons 25 year old pony and the other my 'special needs' 20 year old tb. (wee pony has since died with cancer). I was in a right state. I was worried about being in a wheelchair and also the horrible prospect of not being able to keep my 2 much loved horses. Anyway, people came through for me and really went beyond the call of duty.
I still have my girly and i have managed to stay upright :D I also believe that if i didn't have me horses and my dog, i would have been in a hell of a worse state than I am now. They give you something to get up for and you know that they have to be cared for. Far better than sitting at home wallowing in self pity!
Things have a way of working out is what i am trying to say.

Of course there has to be the people who have to kick you when you are down, some people have no compassion and just have to be nasty, it maybe gives them some kind of kick or makes them feel superior. They should just be grateful that they are in good health, you never know what's round the corner though. So perhaps some people should think before they open their trap.
Nobody knows the full extent of your situation and you certainly don't need to justify yourself to them.
 
Vizslak, sorry to hear about all of this. You will need time to think about any possible work type options from home which don't impact any further on your health and you may due to your condition not want to touch this idea with a barge pole (as it's a bit coals to Newcastle really!) but could you approach the Lupus charities or such things to see if (if you have access to a computer or broadband somehow) you could write articles, etc for either their websites or magazines if they produce such things? Obviously I don't know what your job was previously but I find lots of people have hidden and excellent writing skills especially when about something they know. I know charities tend to appreciate voluntary offers of help rather than paid but you never know. A colleague's wife had utterly crippling ME for years but from her experiences and other ME sufferers she got to know she wrote a book about it and what worked for her in terms of treatment and looking after her own health through diet, etc, and it has generated a small amount of income for her - the only downside being that occasionally she over does it with the interest her website and book generated and it impacts on her health...

I hope the days get a bit better for you as they pass at the moment and that some of the offers on here can help resolve some of the problems you are faced with so your health doesn't suffer further. Like someone else said none of us know how quickly circumstances can change so could happen to any of us. Best of luck and thinking of you.
 
Im so happy there are a few thoughts wizzing around in your head to keep u a little more occupied than worrying, it's still sh!t as hell what u are going through and I really hope you can sort something/anything out that will help you and your animals, don't forget for anything doggy related give me a shout:) im **** with the horsey stuff:o:D
 
So sorry to read about your situation vizslak and I wish you well.

Fingers crossed, there will be several other options on the table before morning. And after reading all of this thread, it certainly seems that you do not have to go through this all on your own.

No doubt, your feeling a bit more hopeful now;).

Good luck!!
 
Right - first of -P im glad u managed the WHOLE packet of crisps!!

Secondly - im FUMING about what some people have written on here!

I know the OP personally - she is one of the kindest, most genuine people you could ever meet and dosent deserve the poop life has thrown at her this week.
IF, she could work, she flipping well would - and i cant believe people really think the OP would have her horses PTS if she could just jolly off and get a job as easy as that.

I told the op to go to CAB as soon as this happened - the figures quoted are the facts.

As for the snotty person that commented on 'her wages getting taxed' GET A GRIP - so do mine, my parents, my other half etc and im more that happy that the OP gets some of that - a genuine person finally getting some help and you resent that because she has horses and dogs??
 
JenJ said:
Sorry, I've got nothing useful to add, but wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you x
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Ditto this Vizslak. I also have an auto-immune condition that was very uncontrolled for a few years. I feel so bad for you going through all this while dealing with that too. I'm far away but happy to help any way I can ... please just let me know.
 
Vicki_Krystal said:
Right - first of -P im glad u managed the WHOLE packet of crisps!!

Secondly - im FUMING about what some people have written on here!

I know the OP personally - she is one of the kindest, most genuine people you could ever meet and dosent deserve the poop life has thrown at her this week.
IF, she could work, she flipping well would - and i cant believe people really think the OP would have her horses PTS if she could just jolly off and get a job as easy as that.

I told the op to go to CAB as soon as this happened - the figures quoted are the facts.

As for the snotty person that commented on 'her wages getting taxed' GET A GRIP - so do mine, my parents, my other half etc and im more that happy that the OP gets some of that - a genuine person finally getting some help and you resent that because she has horses and dogs??
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Ditto to this. I feel terrible for you V, not sure what practical help I can be, but I am local so happy to pitch in.
 
V, my little sister is a photography student, if you like I can speak to her and see if she can reccomend any books or websites for tips on good action shots (although you may already be an expert photographer, in which case please ignore me!):)
 
You have my full sympathy for a truly miserable situation to be in. I think the fact that you are prepared to have animals you have owned for many years PTS rather than trying to keep them with very little income should indicate how serious your sitution is. I found it hard enough when I was extremely ill and then lost my home and job (as my then employer very thoughtfully sacked me due to my illness) and I didn't have any animals to think of. I can only say that things really do work out , even when it seems totally poo. In regards about working from home- have you thought about being an .............................animal communicator! It seems to pay well, and involves minimal effort ! *runs at top speed away from the HHO who believe in it*
 
sending hugs to you. I can't imagine what you are going through, it puts my problems into perspective.
I totally agree that you need your dogs. When I had a really horrid time 4 years ago, it was my dogs who helped me through, silly though it seems. They are always there for you.
I really don't know what to advise re the horses, I just wanted to know you have support for whatever decision you come to.
 
So sorry to hear this huge (((hugs))) I hope you get sorted out what ever option you choose, so nice to see how many great people on HHO that are willing to help you.

Hope everything turns out as well as it can do.
 
Vislack, I'm sorry I haven't read the whole thread yet so I hope I'm not repeating things.

Firstly I'm really sorry to hear of your situation it is awful.

On a practical note, please contact the Blue Cross about all of your animals if you haven't done already. They can help with vetinary care etc for people on benefits. They may also be able to help rehoming the horses if that is what you want. They run a loan scheme where they retain ownership.

Personally I think if you can it would be worth hanging on to the youngster and selling him when he is right, if you can get free livery in exchange for helping out then it could be a really good thing for your mental well being and for his future. I wouldn't put him to sleep if there is a prospect of finding an understanding home, again the charities may be able to help you with this. Your circumstances are part of their remit so please do not feel guilty about approaching them.

Sadly I wonder whether PTS may be the best option for the older two, although you may be lucky enough to find them good homes as companions or you may find that one of the charities can take them.

Also on a practical note, is the home you live in your own? Could you get a lodger to help financially and to provide some company? It would be well worth considering as you can earn over £4k from this tax free and as it isn't work I suspect it may not affect your benefits (though you would have to check).

Good luck and all the best.
 
Just read some more of the thread and noticed the comments about photography.

If you are a decent photographer with a DSLR you can sell your images for use by publishers etc. There is a brilliant thread explaining all about it on the MSE forum.

I would highly recommend visiting www.moneysavingexpert.com for help with all things financial it is an amazing site (that is not for profit and independant).

There is advice on everything from making sure you have claimed all the benefits you are entitled to, to reducing your outgoings, making extra money, saving money of food and household goods, absolutely the works. There is even a board just for money saving relating to animals. I use the forum on there too and it is incredibly supportive. Dare I say it, in such a wonderful thread, but maybe even more supportive than HHO!
 
I am so sorry to hear you are having such a sh*t time at the moment Vislack but then I am also warmed by the help and support you are receiving from everyone (with the odd exception :mad: )

Although I can't offer any practical help I would like to send hugs and best wishes for the future. You seem to be a lot stronger than you think you are so I'm sure you will come out the other side sooner rather than later
 
Excuse me guys - it's an open forum and I was expressing my view on the situation. I hsaven't read through the whole thread - I don't know why the OP gets benefits/what is wrong with her and it is none of my business. I never said she wasn't genuine or lovely! I'm sure she is! And Clearly I know that everyone gets taxed - honestly!

However, I do think that people capable of doing the amount of work physical needed to care for the number of animals this lady has should be able to do some sort of work (shift work/part time office work/work on a yard?). If I was her I would do anything possible to keep my babies and not have them put down. Clearly others have a very different outlook on life. I really hope you can work something out Vislack, and I am very sorry for your situation as I said - I can't imagine what you're going through.

Good luck x
 
Mollymillymoo said:
Excuse me guys - it's an open forum and I was expressing my view on the situation. I hsaven't read through the whole thread - I don't know why the OP gets benefits/what is wrong with her and it is none of my business. I never said she wasn't genuine or lovely! I'm sure she is! And Clearly I know that everyone gets taxed - honestly!

However, I do think that people capable of doing the amount of work physical needed to care for the number of animals this lady has should be able to do some sort of work (shift work/part time office work/work on a yard?). If I was her I would do anything possible to keep my babies and not have them put down. Clearly others have a very different outlook on life. I really hope you can work something out Vislack, and I am very sorry for your situation as I said - I can't imagine what you're going through.

Good luck x
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But had you read the whole thread you'd have seen who cares (cared) for the OP's horses and dogs!
 
Millymollymoo, please do not underestimate the heartache this decision is causing the OP. I am absolutely positive that this measure is being taken as a last resort. Your comments imply that in your opinion the OP is behaving heartlessly - I believe that your lack of empathy shows a much greater level of heartlessness, frankly; 'babies' or not.

Yes, you have the right to post whatever you like - and you have the right to be shot down in flames for it.
 
I'm afraid that I can't offer any helpful advice or solutions, but would just like to add my voice to the huge number of people on here that want to offer you their support. You sound like a very practical person and that will help you greatly in getting through this x x
 
I agree that this decision will be causing serious heartache for the op. Has anybody tried to get an animal into a rescue centre lately? I tried a few years ago with a stray cat that turned up, I couldn't keep it myself at the time due to a family members serious illness and rehoming that was a nightmare, none of the rescue organisations wanted to know, so I can only imagine that it is even more difficult with elderly horses. Especially when there are so many unwanted animals at the moment. I know that the veteran horse society often recommend pts as the kindest option and I don't think the op should be made to feel guilty for thinking that it may be the best decision, if the most difficult. She certainly has enough to contend with already.
 
Mollymillymoo said:
Excuse me guys - it's an open forum and I was expressing my view on the situation. I hsaven't read through the whole thread - I don't know why the OP gets benefits/what is wrong with her and it is none of my business. I never said she wasn't genuine or lovely! I'm sure she is! And Clearly I know that everyone gets taxed - honestly!

However, I do think that people capable of doing the amount of work physical needed to care for the number of animals this lady has should be able to do some sort of work (shift work/part time office work/work on a yard?). If I was her I would do anything possible to keep my babies and not have them put down. Clearly others have a very different outlook on life. I really hope you can work something out Vislack, and I am very sorry for your situation as I said - I can't imagine what you're going through.

Good luck x
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Well how about you actually READ the whole thread and see why the OP doesnt / cannot work instead of casting your (completly unhelpful) views???

As stated, this is due to a relationship break up - it doesnt take a scientist to work out that maybe, just maybe, the money for the horses was coming from the OPs OH. Obv, this is money the OP doesnt have.

I ask again - do you REALLY think the OP would have her horses PTS if she could work??
 
Haven't read all the post (got to about pg 7 and gave up) but as your OH left you (really sorry he did too) are you entitled to anything from him? I.e. How long were you together, have you taken solicitors advice? Not sure if you were married, but he may well have to continue to support you a bit if you are incapacitated and unable to work?

Just an idea, and good luck with everything, hugs.....
 
Why not go onto the Martin Lewis website (moneysavingexpert.com) and register so that you can post to the forum boards there? You will be given lots of helpful advice and encouragement about your financial situation, and read about other people who are in similar (and often worse) situations. There are also lots of suggestions about earning extra pennies. Have you remembered to let the council know that you are now on your own and entitled to a 25% rebate on your council tax? Hope to see you there!
 
mahorse said:
Haven't read all the post (got to about pg 7 and gave up) but as your OH left you (really sorry he did too) are you entitled to anything from him? I.e. How long were you together, have you taken solicitors advice? Not sure if you were married, but he may well have to continue to support you a bit if you are incapacitated and unable to work?

Just an idea, and good luck with everything, hugs.....
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OP would only have the possibility of support from ex OH if married. Nothing at all otherwise. Presuming that OP is not married given that she has already spoken to CAB etc and they have advised her of her entitlements.

OP - sorry to hear of your situation, it's horrible when someone you love leaves you regardless of all of the other things that you are having to deal with.

Those who have posted regarding OP being on benefits etc - whilst you are entitled to your views, I think that you should take a deep breath and not post them here. You are only going to upset someone who is already going through a tough time and who as far as you know is genuinely not able to work. It is a whole different topic to discuss the benefit system in general and not relevant here.
 
Ok read up to page 14 of 16 so nearly the whole post but more pages coming as I was reading and i\m very slow at that so sorry if I am repeating anything.

Firstly so sorry for your situation wish I could physically help! but sympathy.

If you are looking for work from home I would suggest seeing if you have a friend at chamber of commerce who could ask around for people wanting their data bases 'cleaning' just calling or going online to clarify details like addresses. Or doing curtisy calls to clients, they usually say do them by the end of the month so no real time restriction. Often there are small businesses who can't afford to employ someone full time. I did this while pregnant and do it now small child is here so I can fit it around feeds etc.

And secondly every sympathy having to deal with the british benefits system. I won't go into details but it does not benefit those who have worked hard and paid taxes. And has an unrealistic view of what people need to live on and is racist towards the welsh!!!! rant over.

I hope everything pans out for you
(fiat panda's are good small cars and so light they rarely get caught in mud mine goes everywhere including ditches just get some Young Farmers to push it back out for you!)
 
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