Help.. should I have my beloved horse put down??

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andieash

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my 15 yr old 16.2 mare has had treatment with liverpool cream for about a year for sarcoids, she had loads removed and treatments of areas affected. New ones are now sprouting which we will not contiunue to treat (no cure in her case just been given more time) She now gets big swellings from very minor injuries, kicks grazes and takes a while to recover, also last week she got mastitis, she has not had a foal ever that I know if, could be freek reason for producing milk or a tumour on her ovaries making her produce hormones to in turn produce milk, she was very ill temp 4 above and massive swelling to one teat (20 times bigger than normal) she had anti biotics and anti inflamitaries and was better 'ish 5 days later, still swollen a bit but happier. My head tells me enough is enough, my heart says no, my 18 yr old daughter also says no.. I don't know what to do and have cried all weekend in case I make wrong decision.. she will never get better but looks so happy sometimes.. please help sometone
 
After reading your story i am glad I am not the only one to feel this...in the nicest possible way...as my 21yro geld is critically ill in hospital with severe colitis and a bleed into abdomen...and i am preparing myself to say goodbye yet ever time i do this he improves even if it's only slightly....my heart also says no whilst head tells me yes.....to free him from pain....but there could be light at the end....
i know it's not what your experiencing but my heart goes out to you also....i am feeling the same right now.
let us know what you do and how your mare is?? do hope all ends well for you all
x
 
Vet told me at beginning of her treatment that this would never cure her just give her a little more time, the vet that came out last week was new to her as usual vet on hols, I expected usual vet and for him to say enough is enough, this new vet did not know full history..
I am going to call them tomorrow but am scared they will just advise more chemo treatment or something, she looked so awful through that I cannot put her through it again.. it still won't cure her anyway.
Lately it has just been one thing after another and she is down much more than up.. just when she is up she looks so perky, when she is down she just looks like she will callapse right there.. we'll see what vet says
 
I am so sorry to hear your story, I cried again... oh it is so hard, I am so scared just in case she gets better although I know she won't I think it is more how long before she gets really bad would she have if I left her.
A few friends have advised me to do now so I can remember her looking partly well and not when she is rock bottom.. but thats even harder as I feel I will be ending her life early..

We'll see what vet says tomorrow

All the very best with your horse, I am thinking of you xx
 
Sadly feeling guilty is all part of it.Who are we to play god and what if they make a miraculous recovery but you know your horse better then anyone including the vets,if you are now thinking that deep down you are having these thoughts of having her pts then maybe the time has come.My old mare when from a pain the bum live wire to the light in her eyes had gone out,i knew she was telling me,,,mum i've had enough now please let me go.Is your mare telling you this?.
They always say you know when it's time.I'm so sorry you are going through this heartbreaking time..Huge hugs to you and your mare.xx
 
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That is EXACTLY how i felt when i had to have my boy pts, i felt it was a decision beyond any i should have to make. But i am glad i made it. Like yours, my boy would never have got any better and i couldnt face watching him go even more downhill. Talk to your usual vet again and see what they say. Big hugs x
 
The sad thing about owning animals is that the chances are we will have to make the decision to end their lives at some point. We are fortunate to have the ability to end their suffering. The question is when is their suffering enough to justify ending it? I think we always know deep down, it's just a case of admitting to ourselves that we are right. It will always be upsetting and never easy.

When my old boy was PTS he had good days and bad and I kept him going until I felt the good days did not justify the bad ones. What I didn't want was to reach a stage where there were only bad days so I got enough drugs from the vets to give him a few really good days and then he was PTS. I knew he would never recover and after the deed was done, I felt a strange sense of relief knowing that he would never have another bad day.

You will never feel the time is right for you but you have to decide when the time is right for her and no one can tell you this. You know the horse and understand more than anyone about her quality of life.

I hope this has helped in some way.

{{{hugs}}}
 
Andie hun - you have to be strong and listen to what your girl is telling you. Remember the old adage: better a week too early than a day too late. Me and my beloved moggie Spencer are at exactly this point now and it's a very sad and lonely place to be and the responsibility is huge.

Worth repeating hun: better a week too soon than a day too late. Hugs and be strong for her xxxxxxxx
 
I agree with everything above, and feel terribly sorry for you that you are being pulled in different directions- in particular having your daughter disagree on your mares future must be really tough
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I am a firm advocate of the 'better a week too soon than a day too late" mentality and, putting my neck on the line, it seems to me that you have done everything you can for her (and she continues to struggle with her various health issues) so perhaps it is time to say your goodbyes.

Big hugs for the hard decisions you have to make x x x
 
I have recently been through this with my dog, she was PTS in May, although I had about 9 months to prepare for it, knew the day would come, she kept going downhill then recovering, until vet said next time she has a crisis we should PTS. I was expecting it to all go horribly wrong one day and have to rush to vets, but in the end it wasn't like that, one day she had just had enough and i knew it was time. Actually having her PTS was ok, if that sounds silly, i was with her and we bought her home with us and laid her in the garden, although i miss her terribly i know i did the right thing, but for weeks after had these strange thoughts of did i do the right thing, i think it is only right to question yourself, but it is true that you know when the time is right. I think it is the final act of love, letting them go.
 
Thanks for your reply, and I do think you are right she has been ill for so long now and gets better a short while then ill with something else probably related to main illness.

I have been trying to prepare myself since she had first chemo treatment as was told by vet it was no cure but would just give her a little more time so knew this time would come.

I am just questioning why I have decided now (apart from fact that last week she was very ill again) perhaps something is telling me sub consciously it has to be now...

Done a lot of thinking today with help from the Forum,just need to make sure my daughter understands now and agrees it's best for the mare..unless the vet says different in the morning.

Thanks for sharing your experience x
 
No advice cos never had to deal with this, and the thought of losing any of our animals makes me want to cry. Just wanted to offer support and a hug xxx
 
I know it's hard but when the bad days outweigh the good then maybe it's time too say goodbye. You owe it to your friend to know when the time is right...your doing it for her not for you.
You want to have good memories of her not lasting thoughts of her declining in health.
If you don't want to put her though the treatment again/anymore then just think of her quality of life.
Your daughter is just finding it hard to accept and understand but that shouldn't sway you from the right thing to do.
Nobody will think anyless of you and i think your being very brave and strong.
Hugs xxx
 
Andie - I've just put 2 and 2 together. This is the same mare that you posted separately about possible mastitis?

I'm not sure if I'm missing something here but sarcoids are rarely aggressive enough to spread and cause secondary cancers. And a bout of mastitis should clear with antibiotics. And 15 isn't really old. Are you sure this last year isn't just dragging her and you down and some good immune system booster and tons of tlc wouldn't put her right? Is it worth just sitting back for a bit and seeing what, say, the next month brings?
 
you are totally right about the mastitis that will clear up, it's what has caused her to produce milk in the first place which as the vet said could well be a tunour on her ovaries. They have also said that although we can see lots of sarcoids on the outer skin she will likely have a load of them internally. Her imune system is so low she will find it hard to fight anything coming her way.

After two years I think it is time... I really don't want to remember her at a low spot....

Thanks for everything xx
 
I battled for about 2 yrs with my conscience about putting my beautiful mare to sleep. I was just told that i would know when the time was right. and it was so true. I knew when the time was right. She also had good days and bad days, but the dreaded day, i just knew. Can't say how. Just something told me - something in the air. I don't know ???
It was the most hearbreaking thing i have EVER done, but also the most privileged. I took away her suffering, and did the most dignified thing for her. God it was hard, and I cried like a baby for weeks (in my early 30's !!) but I have never regretted it. I know that she knows i did it for her as I loved/love her so very much.
You have to put your own feelings right to the bottom of the list of priorities.
 
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