Help - so torn what to do??

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MrsMagoo

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Some may have seen my post about selling Star and im soo torn as to what to do. Keep thinking if I sell i'm gonna regret it/miss riding and miss her and then ive lost a good horse or I could loan her out for a year or so and have a break, BUT then theres the risk she could hurt herself etc and then come back to me worth nothing???? Also ive just paid out for BSJA and BD subscriptions which is a nightmare...

Help, someone tell me what to do?
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is there no way you can sort your debt out and keep her? The last thing you want to do is sell her then realise you couldve kept her afterall.
IMHO I wouldnt sell her.
 
Just finacial reasons really - just brought a house and still have a debt i need to pay from an accident last year
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Was gonna get a loan to cover it but thats not worked out....so all my money at the moment is in Star...
 
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Are you soley responsible for funding her?

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Yes apart from lorry diesel etc which my Dad funds bless him
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OH has even offered to pay the farrier etc but it still doesnt free up enough cash really...
 
oh dear thats a shame. Could you not try to borrow a bit extra on your mortgage, or even try a family member to see if they could loan you the money and you pay a fixed amount back each month?
What about a sharer for star? someone that could help you out by say riding 2-3 times a week and paying you for the horse at a fixed amount per week?
 
Oh golly, sorry to ask.

Debt/money troubles are awful as, even with the best will in the world, they are hard to make go away.

How hard are you working at the moment to keep her? Is there anything else you could reduce which would free up some more cash - could you stop having lessons/competing so monthly costs go down for example?

Another option is a sharer - many will make a financial contribution that might help?

Loaning is a good idea if you think the £££ issue will be resolved in a set amount of time - if you can say that by X 2008 you'll be back on your feet for example that might be the best plan. Do you know anyone personally who would loan her thus removing the "will a stranger ruin my horse" question?

Selling is a last resort but if you are struggling to meet monthly costs it may be your only option - I've no doubt she'll find a fantastic home and once you are sorted again you'll be in a position to get another lovely horse. You could become a sharer yourself so as to keep riding?
 
Well,

I think it may be time for you and you OH to have a little heart to heart.

I think it is appalling that he is even letting you consider selling your lovely mare if - with joint finances - you can fund her.

In the big scheme of things it does not take much to run a horse - I can do it, fund a mortgage, pay a loan, and have money left at the end of the month. I do not earn big bucks.

It is time for your OH to step up to the plate and support his wife.

I feel very angry about this!!!!!!! How can he let you go though this?
 
A year ago my partner and I were in a desperate situation financially and ended up living on a boat right through the winter with no heating so that we could keep our horse (also called Star funnily enough!). We came so close to selling her but managed to hang on. We've come out of the other side of our dark period and both humans and horse are incredibly happy. If you can find a way - keep her. I know how hard it is, but difficult periods do end and then you'll be glad you did.
 
Sadly we're not married, so cant legally pinch all his money haha
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Im trying to get longer hours at work to get that little bit extra a month which could help - i only work 9-4.30 at mo so could do 9-5.30 easily. After paying our mortage, credit card, car bills, horse etc im literally left with tuppence a month so cant do anything - hate relying on OH to pay for everything even tho i think he'd be willing!!! We dont share our wages, only a set amount for the house...
 
Anything but sell! A horse like that is hard to find, and if you sell finding something equivalent again will probably cost even more judging by the way prices are rising! You can't give up your beautiful horse, ask OH and family for help, they won't want to see you unhappy!
 
Yes, I agree, your OH should tell you it's not an option. But if he's not saying that then it's not much help! Could you not get loan secured against your house?
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If you've bought a house together, then there is obviously some committment there. So if he can't help you out through this difficult period it's not a relationship I would want to be in.

If I were in your shoes and had to make the choice - it would be the horse every time. Sorry, not what you want to hear, and I'm sure others would disagree.

Move back home - save on the mortgage payments - keep your beautiful horse.

No contest I'm afraid.

However, if you do decide to sell her - our discussion yesterday stands.
 
Well you saying that - somone on here - FinnMcoll *cough cough has offered to have her for 6months/1yr as she wanted a new competition horse....

Just worried about if anything happend, what would happen then? I.e Star goes worth £6-8k then comes back worth £2 lol? Which may i add wouldnt think would happen
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Just worried about if anything happend, what would happen then? I.e Star goes worth £6-8k then comes back worth £2 lol? Which may i add wouldnt think would happen

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But that could happen if she was with you - she could still get an injury. You can do all you can to safe gaurd them - the rest in the is in the hands of the gods.
 
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hate relying on OH to pay for everything even tho i think he'd be willing!!!

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Swollow your pride, this is your horse we're talking about, if your OH wants to help - LET HIM!! That's what being 'together' is all about...you have years ahead of you to return the favour!
 
yes but it could happen if she stays with you - thats the thing with horses, nothing is ever guaranteed.
At least you have the option of giving her on loan to Finn till you get yourself sorted money wise.
Have you spoke to your OH about it and told him how you feel about selling Star? what does he think? Could you not cut down on your outgoings with Star by moving her to say grass livery rather than DIY, removing her shoes and going barefoot, change her feed etc?
 
Hi,

Have you thought about looking around for a diy yard again?

You may have to go without the lovely sand school etc and make do with a field to ride in and hacking until your money is sorted out.

Worth thinking about? Better option than selling Star. I think you'd regret selling her.
 
Is she not at DIY?? Full livery only?

If that's the case - there's a massive saving to be made there allready.
 
Thats true i suppose...:)
Yeh we and Dad had a discussion about it last night - he doesnt want me to sell of course, but then he can only help soo much!
She's not the type you could chuck out etc, she'd be like a pig lol. And if i wasnt going to compete her then theres no point keeping her anyway, that would letting her go to waste...
 
Oh you poor thing :-(

I have been with my partner for four years and have a house with him but I wouldnt expect him to help me fund my horse at all - I think its sweet that he has offered for the shoes. I always decided that if I couldnt pay for my hobby myself I wouldnt have one at all - its not my OH fault that I cant afford it!! BUT Saying that - I have been very ill lately and nearly had to sel her and OH and my dad paid extra for part/full livery and did the rest themselves to which I am eternally greatful - I didnt even ask them my OH just wanted me to try and get better before selling and making things worse plus he hates horses ! Maybe if you are struggling for a few months you OH could help you out just for a bit?

Sorry you may have to sell - Tis very hard to fund houses and horses!!! Loan does sound a good bet but you do seem worried about her bieng injured in this time so maybe, as money is so important right now is to sell her (she is worth a fair bit), pay off you debt ( :-) ) and then buy a youngster or something?

Just an idea - no one bite my head off lol :-)
 
She has only just gone on full livery for time being as we needed to move and at the time was our only choice - well apart from going to some pikey yard - sorry i have standards lol
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I am keeping my eye open for other DIY's etc just in case, but they seem very few and far between round here at the mo....
 
I might sound like a bit of a bitch to say this - but I think you OH needs to do WAY more - it was HIS company car you were driving and HE hadn't double checked you were clear to drive it - he assumed as much as you did that you were covered.

I can't remember why you had to drive it at the time - but surely you shouldn;t be having to make all the sacrifices and sell your horse when IMO - it was partially his fault? It was his works insurance that had landed you in a bit of this mess - ie settling and not giving you a chance to make sure it was fair, then landing you with the bill!

Can't he take a loan out? Hasn't he offered to pay anything of what you have to pay for the accident?

I know I can't remember all the circumstances but any bloke worth his salt would have stepped up to help out!!!
 
One option - and there is of course the possibility that it could go wrong, is that if she is good enough to breed to consider having her put on loan as a broodmare - that will give you 18 months breathing space.

You will need to find the right person and have an agreement drawn up, and yes there could be birth complications but she would not be ridden if you are worried about that sort of injury.

If your OH can afford to help you out, I would talk to him and see if he will. If he won't, and is financially able to, I would consider my relationship.

My OH and I would only have the horses go when there was nothing else left to sell or live on.
 
Exactly how i feel - he's already paying more to the house etc and buys most things, i certainly dont expect him to cough up just so I could have a hobby. He's selling his motorbike so he can afford things better...

RE the loan - i suppose as long as theres an agreement etc. Selling to get the money from her is the main point, i just cant bring myself to do it. Ive searched years to get a good one, after having some real nightmares, and now we're finally getting somwhere....
 
Oh sweets, do everything you can to keep her BUT I did nearly bankrupt myself with mine in a very similar situation and would never want to go there again.

Let your man help you out babes. I know what you mean about not wanting to take advantage of him however if he's happy to do it. Why on earth not.

You will miss her so, so much if you let her go. If you need another yard perhaps cheaper I am happy to ask at mine.

If at the worst way she does go. You can always come and get thrown off Dougal on a regular basis.

See you soon. xx
 
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