Help with confidence - any success stories?

janicesponies

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I have a lovely natured little TB horse who is ideal for me but I have lost my confidence. My horse is quite lazy generally, but occasionally sharp and can over react to things. I have had one or two falls by having too tight a rein contact and panicked my horse, who felt trapped by my short contact. Any tips? I keep my horse at home where it is very quiet and have to ride on my own. The other horse at home is retired. It is difficult to go to events as everything is very exciting after home! It would be wonderful to hear some confidence stories where problems with a horse were resolved rather than selling the horse.
 
Does she relax if you loosen the rein contact? (A lot of horses do), Obviously this can be hard when your horse is running off with you but if you force yourself to give the reins generally horses will slow down, and calm down. Practise in an enclosed area, see if it works. Hope this helps a bit, I am not great at giving advice!
 
Not a helpful story but..
I decided to part loan a horse rather than RL, I went from a plod-a-long pony to a very forward goin cheeky, 16.1hher. Okay bit stupid but anyway I soon found that it she wouldnt stand still for me to get on, it would take me 3 hours just to catch her and even 15 minutes just to get her in her stable after being dragged by the mare up from the field
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I kinda lost my confidence with my riding ability and spoke to the girl who owned her, she came up to me and gave me lessons and had me on the lunge! I WAS SO NERVOUS I WOULDNT CANTER
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But eventually I cantered and then the next lesson I did it without the lunge, then the next time without her there, tbh all I can say is take it slowly! Do what your capable of and build up NEVER rush into things
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It'll be worth it in the end, i went from that to coming first at the local show with her in ridden showing
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Just persevere and dont push yourself too much, good luck!
Milk and cookies for reading my long post
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I also have a sharp TB who I have had numerous falls from as a result of him spooking. I find that quite often if I ignore him being silly and don't look out for things he might be afraid of then he is much calmer. I think that even if we don't realise it then when we are anticipating something happening we get tense and then they start to think there is something to worry about and are more on edge themselves. I know it is easier said than done and the best thing I have found is to distract myself. Singing is good as you have to keep breathing while you sing! Also if you are singing and then your horse spooks/has a moment and you keep singing then they know that you are not bothered and I have found they get over it and go back to being normal. Hope this helps.
 
Give it time, and plenty of it.
6 years ago I had a nasty fall and broken my arm badly (2 operation to put right) and thought i would never ride again. nearly 2 years ago i bought a 7 yr old ex race horse (what was i thinking!) and he is kept at home on his own. I was so nervous despite my horse being so good. it is only now in the last two months that its all beginning to come together. I've got a wonderful instructor who has helped me and not once considered selling my horse. we have now started doing dressage tests and going out and about.

It will get better. it's so frustrating, but give it time.
 
Hi showponies,
Great advice already from other friends. I'd like to add that it's not the shortness of your reins which is the problem, it's what you do with them.
We need to have contact with the horse's mouth, but this needs to be a flexible, giving contact, which we need to ride the horse into.
Reading the heading of your post again reminds me of my first TB, bless him. I could have done him far more justice if i'd got a good trainer in.

My success story? Doing AI at a riding centre, but more importantly, having 1 to 1 training from a good trainer.

Don't give up on your lovely TB, friend, just get some help from someone (nice) on the ground. Ask around local horsey folk - you seem isolated at the moment. Try local riding centre, riding club, www.BHS.org.uk, etc, for contacts if you haven't got them. BS x
 
Wow! You have all given me inspiration to carry on. Yes, I do grab the reins when I panic when my horse spooks or gets agitated - believe it or not i have ridden for many, many years but my nerves make me feel like a total beginner again!
What a patient horse I have. Any tips on de-spooking etc?
 
Have you tried riding with a neck strap so when you feel yourself grabing at reins you could hold neck strap instead and keep reins longer - hope that makes some sense!!

I have had a couple of people ask me why I use a breast plate, my reply is that its my adult safety strap!!

I set myself very small goals like today Im going to ride in walk round the field twice. Then write a note of what you have done you will soon see that it builds up and your moving forwards faster than you may think
 
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