Help with schooling an alpha mare

mushroom

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I simply adore my 12 yo alpha mare (head of every herd she's been in since the age of 4) and in many ways she seems to adore me: she whickers every time she sees me; follows me around the yard with her eyes; won't let her field companion anywhere near me; and gives me the most wonderful soft looks. Sometimes she seems more human than horse.

On the ground she constantly challenges me by trying to step into my space and nudging me with her nose, but I hold my own and she never oversteps the mark as she knows who's boss.

Out hacking she's the most fabulous ride - bold, brave, responsive and enthusiastic but sharp, bouncy and fun ... my perfect horse and a real friend and partner.

In the school she's an absolute nightmare. On other horses I can get them going nicely as I have relatively good hands and a balanced seat. However I struggle to get my mare working properly - she'll have none of it and simply doesn't want to know. She sticks her head in the air and throws in every evasion she can think of. She has no respect for me or what I am asking of her. In the school I feel that she hates me and I frequently go home in tears.

She's up to date with teeth/saddle/back etc - besides she's 100% happy when everything is on her terms (i.e hacking).

Does anyone have a similar mare who could give me few pointers in the school please? I can't and don't want to fight her - I just want to get her on my side and school to both keep her supple and in my dreams do the odd dressage test. Maybe I should be more dominating. Where am I going wrong?
 
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I simply adore my 12 yo alpha mare (head of every herd she's been in since the age of 4) and in many ways she seems to adore me: she whickers every time she sees me; follows me around the yard with her eyes; won't let her field companion anywhere near me; and gives me the most wonderful soft looks. Sometimes she seems more human than horse.

On the ground she constantly challenges me by trying to step into my space and nudging me with her nose, but I hold my own and she never oversteps the mark as she knows who's boss.

Out hacking she's the most fabulous ride - bold, brave, responsive and enthusiastic but sharp, bouncy and fun ... my perfect horse and a real friend and partner.

In the school she's an absolute nightmare. On other horses I can get them going nicely as I have relatively good hands and a balanced seat. However I struggle to get my mare working properly - she'll have none of it and simply doesn't want to know. She sticks her head in the air and throws in every evasion she can think of. She has no respect for me or what I am asking of her. In the school I feel that she hates me and I frequently go home in tears.

She's up to date with teeth/saddle/back etc - besides she's 100% happy when everything is on her terms (i.e hacking).

Does anyone have a similar mare who could give me few pointers in the school please? I can't and don't want to fight her - I just want to get her on my side and school to both keep her supple and in my dreams do the odd dressage test. Maybe I should be more dominating. Where am I going wrong?

In my experience with any mare she has to want to do it for you - this involves making it easier to do what you want than not... and reward anything that's a step nearer. if she is giraffeing ignore the height of her head and ask for a lateral bend (as soon as she gives you this then give with rein and at first I might even give her a pat)... it is almost impossible for a horse to give a big lateral neck bend and stick her head in the air - so the easier thing to do is to lower her head... again when you get this - reward... it's a slow process especially in a horse that in someway has been trained to do her behaviour but slowly slowly you should win. With a mare tho she has to be given a choice so bend with her head in the air (difficult) or bend with a softened neck (easier) - her choice... and go from there.
 
I have a similar mare and in the past I have found schooling challenging. She would fight/ want to go faster and feel unbalanced as a result in corners etc. However, my current instructor has made me see her in a different light and I now feel we understand each other much better. I have worked on getting her going properly from behind and not worry about what the head is doing. Calming her by using my seat and not 'going with' her. She is actually super sensitive when schooling and I now don't really have to give aids - I 'think' about going faster and she does. We have worked on lots of different exercises to get her to think, listen and use her brain. Different shapes in the school, spiralling in and out, loops in from the track, small circles in the corners etc. Lots of variety and consistency. Because canter would wind her up I didn't canter for about two months after starting with my instructor so we could really establish confidence in her in walk and trot. A lot of her evasions and speed were because she lacked security and confidence. In fact I now realise my mare is super keen to please and that is what caused most of our initial problems with schooling. My instructor only has to mention the c word (we never say it out loud) and she gives me canter. She just didn't understand what I was asking before because I didn't tell her properly. Now I have a fab instructor our partnership is much stronger and she can work really well in the school.
 
Thank you blitznbobs, I'll make a note to try that.

I should have added that she's always been incredibly forwards which is great - however when you can't ride a horse into a contact because they so easily run, it's even harder.
 
We have a similar mare,only ours is our daughter's pony.She too,is the most wonderful hack,forward going,bomb proof and very safe,she loves hacking.She hated the school and would run backwards to avoid going in,and no one who saw her hacking could believe it was the same pony.We got over it with the help of a good instructor,although,interestingly,once we stopped using a wood chip school and went to a rubber/sand one,she was a huge amount better.I don't know if the wood chip was slippery and she felt unsafe.

Sorry,not much help,but you have my sympathy.Is she any better out hunting/ x country? That is our pony's true calling.
 
Mirage - she adores xc and hunting! But I pay the bills and there are times when I want/need her to behave in the school and do as I ask!

Hoggedmane - I can identify with a lot of what you say. Yes, my mare is incredibly sensitive and clearly loves to please - on the rare occasions I get her going well, she simply dances for me - but this only happens on her terms. Canter completely sets her alight so am trying to avoid it at the moment.
 
sounds very familiar :D Never battle with her, you will never win. Avoid RI’s who want you to insist she works ‘right now’ when you say and as soon as you pick up the contact. Never try to force her. Mine always went best when I gave her a half hour of pressure free warm up; thinking purely about rhythm and maintaining a soft contact, frequently giving away the contact and re-taking it (softly) to encourage self carriage, tons of transitions, shallow loops, serpentines, lateral work, walk on a square and turn on the forehand at the corners.. then she would always suddenly switch on, as if it was her idea ;) and go beautifully :) Mine was also the same with canter, the more we did it the easier it became. I found staying in sitting trot helped as otherwise as soon as i went sitting she anticipated the transition and got fizzy. Good luck!
 
I'm really grateful for the replies. Just knowing that there are others who have had similar problems makes me feel slightly less hopeless.
 
She seems to ignore my half halting so I've discovered that changing the diagonal on every third or fourth stride works just as well :o
 
I have one just as you describe! In the school she is stubborn and lazy, hacking and jumping she is fabulous. As someone else said, you need to keep things enjoyable so she wants to do it. I found that my mare gets bored easily (which is why jumping and hacking suit her - lots to keep her mind busy). So with this in mind I keep schooling sessions short and varied. I use poles and jumps as a reward, or 10 min good work and we have a canter in the field. Introducing lateral work helped a lot with her hind leg engagement and also challenged her brain. Good luck! I love my mare to bits, but life with a dominant mare is never dull! :)
 
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