Help - YO is making my life miserable!!

M

Mbronze

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Hi all, any advice would be warmly welcomed!!
I have kept my two horses for the past two-three years on diy livery at a stables not far from me, the stables is everything i and horses need apart from turnout in winter being very limited.
We have an indoor, huge posh outdoor,lunging pen, hacking and a farm ride with xc jumps and a river which is a perfect set up for me, and both horses are very happy and settled.
The yard is run by a couple (mid to late fifties) and their son & girlfriend. Son and girlfriend are both ok, and husband is tolerable at times but the wife these past few weeks is turning out to be a nightmare of sorts....
She is obsessed about poo!! We have a rule on the yard that if your horse poos in indoor or outdoor that you clean it up afterwards which is fair enough, and we try to keep our 'american style' barn fairly tidy as well being diy.
But about a week ago me and my friend were jumping in the outdoor and left 'one poo' totally in error as honestly didn't see it. Well husband saw us leave it and wife totally freaked at me about it later telling me it took her an hour to clean up after me which just is not true!!! How can it take an hour to clean up one poo!!!? Anyway, I apologised, told her i it was an honest mistake and wouldn't happen again..
Since them there have been a number of 'incidences' where if a poo has been left in the outdoor, it is my fault or somebody in my barn, which is just not fair as there are 60 other horses and owners on the yard and not just me and my fifteen in our barn.
All this culminated in last night where i was riding and my horse did a poo just as she came in with her horse, i didn't stop riding as i was working on our canter and stopping to pick up a poo would of ruined all the past 20mins hard work i had put in...well she lost it with me and started calling me a scruffy s**t etc and that i am evil and i make her cry and basically get out of the outdoor whilst she is riding.
I had enough of her and didn't say anything but just walked off whilst she loudly told off other people as well, pointing her finger as close up to their faces as she could get (honestly writing this makes me laugh) cause the place is expensive and on diy alone i spend on average 525 a month there on both horses!!
My problem is, do i put up with this continuing crap she is giving me, or do i say soemthing. I don't particularly want to leave as the horses love it and i really value my friends there as going through a breakup with boyfriend at the minute and they have been so supportive..

So what would you do....!!?
 
I'm afraid I would have to leave...she sounds as if she is a nutter! There must be somewhere else which may even be cheaper!! IMO time at the yard must be enjoyable for you, not miserable, and even though your horses are happy there, you are obviously not!
 
I'm afraid I would have to leave...she sounds as if she is a nutter! There must be somewhere else which may even be cheaper!! IMO time at the yard must be enjoyable for you, not miserable, and even though your horses are happy there, you are obviously not! Would it be any good explaining this to the son and girlfriend? 'Fraid I would be most offended!!
 
Sounds to me that she has a more serious problem bothering her and she is directing her anger at you just because you happen to be there, and in her line of fire. Perhaps she is going through the change?? Perhaps she has serious domestic problems. I am not saying that this is any excuse but if you could stick it for a while longer things may sort themselves out.
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I have had this happen to me with a woman who just turned on me and a few others for no apparent reason. Call me a creep if you like, but I befriended her and, although she never did tell me her troubles, she at least left me alone!!!

It would be such a pity to have to move your horses from what sounds like a great yard - stick around and play it by ear for a bit. You have the right idea by not answering back. Just count to ten and confide all your upset feelings to your horse. They make such good listeners!!!
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I have recently moved yards due to the underhand behaviour towards me and about me of my previous YO. It was a shame, as the yard was lovely, 24/7/365 TO, lovely big school (not that I used it more than a couple of times). Fabulously big stables, field shelters, good grazing etc....

The yard I've moved to, is slightly larger (more liveries) andhas poor grazing and there aren't field shelters and there isn't as much natural shelter, but I had to do it, for my sanity! OK so I'm feeding hay already due to the poor grazing, but I am so much happier there!! My YO gave me 2 TO rugs yesterday - OK, they need washing, repairing and reproofing, but both are horseware rugs!!!

What am I trying to say - MOVE YARDS hun!!
 
Agree with Dun4 could she be menopausal?? The age fits and as you have been there 2 -3 years without problem it may be that or another personal or domestic situation that has made her such a misery. If you really want to stay then what have you got to lose by asking her why shes changed. If the situation really can't be resolved then, yes I would move and you may find some of your friends will move too if it's that bad. Good luck with whatever you decide.
 
She sounds nuts. I would not tolerate that kind of attitude in any circumstance.

This sounds even more peverse as 1) It's quite common for horses to poo and 2) YOU'RE HER CUSTOMER!!!!

Get out as soon as you can. Take your custom elseware, it's your prerogative!
 
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Sounds to me that she has a more serious problem bothering her and she is directing her anger at you just because you happen to be there, and in her line of fire. Perhaps she is going through the change?? Perhaps she has serious domestic problems. I am not saying that this is any excuse but if you could stick it for a while longer things may sort themselves out.
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The above is in line with my thoughts. Maybe she has some serious issues in her life at present. It's not right that she should take it out on you, but I'd give it a while longer and see if she changes. Is this representative of her normal behaviour?
It can be difficult to find a yard that suits you and your horses, a lot of horses find moving difficult. Having said that if this continues in the mid-term then you may well have to consider a move. Try not to react at present, just see what happens.............
 
Sounds like a loon!!! We were threatned with a 1 week ban from using the school if caught not cleaning up, but we wouldnt be expected to stop riding to pick up poo!!! As long as it was cleared up within a few hours, if you needed to turn horse out etc after riding... your YO sounds totally unreasonable!!!! (Mine wasnt much better, but she was going through divorce etc, so was taking her stress out on everoyone in her path - us!!) Perhaps give her a few days to chill and then pick a good moment for a chat... see how it goes from there!!
 
Agree with the other replies - it sounds as if there is something else going on in her life and the "poo situation" is just the straw breaking the camel's back. Can you not actually have a chat with her along the lines of "could we have a talk and clear the air as I would hate to have inadvertently offended you and don't like bad atmospheres" etc., etc. If this approach doesn't do any good, you will have to find somewhere else I am afraid.
 
I had to leave a yard because of nightmare owners and I have to say to you just go. I didn't realise how anxious and upset the yard had made me until I moved. I went from all facilities to none, But to be honest I can't stop grinning at my new yard because I can relax and enjoy my horse. It's priceless.
 
Thanks for all your comments, like most of you have said it may be something else going on, which i quite agree with, but this isn't the first instance she has shouted at someone!!

I agree, I am her customer. But i love the yard and my friends, perhaps i am feeling a bit low at the minute for personal reasons and now its all getting to me!!

I think i should have a clear the air talk with her and see how that goes, but again i will have to pick my moment or like Equibeau says I may try to talk to her son or girlfriend just see how that goes...thanks for the support guys and all the kind words of advice, i'll keep you updated!!
 
I would have it out with her, or wright her a letter, sounds like shes a fruit cake to me! are you quite a quiet sort of character, and is she using you as an easy target?
 
[quoteWe were threatned with a 1 week ban from using the school if caught not cleaning up, but we wouldnt be expected to stop riding to pick up poo!!!

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I might try that with my liveries who think the poo fairies come and clean the arena after they've finished!!
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Probably best to have a quite word with your YO first. Unfortunately you may have just been on the butt of bad day, and if you like the yard, wouldn't you want to see if you can sort something out first rather than just moving?
 
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