HHO Confidence Club...

Shysmum

Shysmum

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Is there a need to have a thread on here for nervous riders to shares their problems, and for non-nervous riders to try and help out ? I only ask as there are a lot of non confident people out there who want to ride , and there is so much support going on HHO ?

I ride with two nervous riders, Shy is popular as he's so good ;), and I really do enjoy helping out where I can. I know a lot of nervous riders don't have someone trustworthy to go out with (and may be best hiring an instructor), and really do struggle.

Just a thought - it would be so nice to listen what peeps have to say, and if they achieve their goals. x
 
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I lost my nerves for no apparent reason about 5yrs ago, just suddenly one day thought I could no longer ride, I had an Arab who I backed myself with help from a friend, all was going well untill I moved to a yard on my own nearer home went hacking on him one day and he spooked and I just thought I can't do this! My nerves didn't help him at all so he became a very much loved pet, unfortunately got leg injury and I had him pts
 
Yes- my problem is getting my horses attention both when riding and leading and would welcome any advice.
 
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one of my friends is nervous of being tanked off with, that's her biggest fear. Horse has never done it though, it's a fear that has built up over time, after a very bad experience years ago. The more we go out, the more confident she's getting - the less she rides, the worse it gets (she won't mind me saying this btw). She's a good rider too.
 
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Stupid phone!!
Then earlier this year decide I really wanted to ride so I got myself a confidence giving Andalusian and he is so perfect, he is better in traffic than me lol!! It is so nice to be riding again and also having lessons, just can't believe it took 5yrs!! I still have the occasional wobble but he is fine :)
 
shysmum said:
one of my friends is nervous of being tanked off with, that's her biggest fear. Horse has never done it though, it's a fear that has built up over time, after a very bad experience years ago. The more we go out, the more confident she's getting - the less she rides, the worse it gets (she won't mind me saying this btw). She's a good rider too.
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I can empathise there with your friend I used to be scared about being tanked off with ... until it happened on a road with my bomb proof cob , not his fault it was a cement mixer 2 mins after a previous cement mixer made him think they were out to get him. It was bad but not as bad as my fears and he did stop. Didn't 100% trust him hacking after that so we went off road more which was a shame as it was a freak situation.

The thread is a good idea if more experienced folk answer without judgement and with empathy.
 
Brilliant idea Shysmum!

I'm a terribly nervous rider and would really welcome the chance to share my experiences and get advice :)

One thing I find invaluable is a patient, confident friend with a good horse. 3 years ago I was desperate to ride but so terrified that my legs would shake so much I couldn't get on. A friend would help me and ride with me "just to the next telegraph pole and back." Little by little I worked up to hacking all day :)

My other tips are: never leave too long between rides, even if you just do 10 mins. I'm currently unable to ride due to illness and I'm already building it up into a big worry in my head.

However hard, try not to haul your horse back when nervous. Sit loose through the hips, talk reassuringly to yourself as much as your horse and ride forward. Easily said, I know, honest ;). My lovely cob had a minor freak at some monster pigs a few weeks ago and I convinced myself she was going to take off but I forced myself to keep a light contact and encourage her on and we got past safe and sound, even if I did need a large Sauvignon when we got home ;)

Brill thread, thanks Shysmum!
 
God. After spending my childhood tanking around on my aunts ponys i rode a stunning arab mare in egypt about 5 years ago. She had western tack and the guy told me she knew english aids, which I'm not sure was true. I managed to keep enough control, although I knew we werent really talking the same languge, untill the girth
 
God. After spending my childhood tanking around on my aunts ponys i rode a stunning arab mare in egypt about 5 years ago. She had western tack and the guy told me she knew english aids, which I'm not sure was true. I managed to keep enough control, although I knew we werent really talking the same languge, untill the girth snapped. she got more than enough gallop in before we parted company. Physically I was pretty much fine, but my confidence was shot
 
This is a great idea!

I was probably the opposite to most children as being totally terrified of the horse running off with me or bucking or anything out of the ordinary. I'd burst into tears. I really don't know why my parents let me carry on when they were completely non-horsey!

I don't even remember growing out of it really, from the age of 6-13, I loved horses and being around them but a little spook and I was a gibbering, sobbing wreck! There were even certain horses I was too afraid to handle on the ground

I'm still a huge wreck when it comes to hacking alone (although I go out I jump off far, far too easily) and I'd love to jump but am far too scared to try, but am confident to try anything in the school flatwork-wise!

I think reading some of the horror stories on here plays on my mind too much!!

As a kid I remember my mother giving me vitamin pills and convincing me that they were confidence pills!
 
I had a spin, gallop, fall on a road which did my confidence no good at all. For years I hacked my aunts horses thinking 'will they stop, will they stop.' They shyed alot as a result.
Then I hacked out with my totally not horsey boyfriend on foot. He did some crazy dance on the edge of the horses vision. Not once but twice
 
I had a spin, gallop, fall on a road which did my confidence no good at all. For years I hacked my aunts horses thinking 'will they stop, will they stop.' They shyed alot as a result.
Then I hacked out with my totally not horsey boyfriend on foot. He did some crazy dance on the edge of the horses vision. Not once but twice. Both times the pony tanked off, and guess what? He listened to me. He stopped. Amazing. I fell off the other day and like every other time I've fallen off I'm ok! Glad I had a hat on, but not being the queen I always have one on a horse. Confidence 100% restored. Although the boyfriend has been given the b******ing of a life time and enrolled at a riding school to teach him some sense.
 
I used to be a really confident rider until I acquired a gelding who was a chronic rearer - and I mean full up, vertical rears, on a daily basis. I battled on with him for a year and a half until I sold him in March. Since then I've become extremely wary when riding...and then very sensibly I bought a 5yo ex-racer in May :o I have found that because he can be quite nervous and wimpy sometimes I have to be more confident than I feel, so we are helping each other :)
 
There must be something very wrong with the present system of producing riders (riding schools? BHS? Self taught?) when so many people seem to be terrified! I most certainly would not continue to do something that frightened the bejaysus out of me, so why do people do it? And how did they get that way? Where are the professional instructors, or are people just not accessing them? It is such a shame that you do not seem to be producing properly trained riders able to enjoy such an enjoyable, beneficial and traditional activity.
 
Cortez I don't think this thread is the place for that comment.

I'll join please. I'm actually quite a confident rider generally and totally trust my golden boy in almost every situation... but when we set foot on grass it all changes. I tense right up - I can manage walk but the thought of trot terrifies me. I will happily canter and jump in the school bit the last time I cantered on grass my lovely old boy dropped beneath me - heart attack. He was gone immediately. So I'm not actually scared that Deano will do anything wrong, I'm scared that he will die :( totally irrational I know but there it is.
I think probably most people will be like me in that their fear is rooted in an incident from the past, either seen or experienced.
 
Some people are trying to get over very nasty experiences, and get back to their love of being with horses. Fear can happen anytime, any place to any one - and it must be devastating to suddenly find yourself scared when you own a perfectly "safe" horse. After many years of safe ownership without incidence.

It would be great if maybe local riding clubs could set up lessons for people with issues, I'm sure there would be a waiting list.

This thread is about support ;)
 
I don't like open fields, especially if they involve cantering! Having said that I have been working on it with my great instructor and a nice safe kick-along cob for hacking. I even cantered the whole length of a field in my lesson last weekend :D
 
I must admit to not having any confidence issues, whilst not really liking falling off, but if you are scared of cantering in fields, there is no rule that says you have to do that. I have a good friend (who is a better rider than me), who is absolutely terrified of horses tanking off in open fields. I understand this, even though it isn't a problem for me, and so we don't do the open field thing. Problem solved?
 
yes and no ? When I take my friend out who used to be able to canter in fields, then lost her nerve, the grin on her face from just doing a few paces is worth it's weight in gold. :D

But I do agree, if you don't want to do something, for lords sake don't !! Isn't riding about challenging yourself though (if you want to ?)
 
I lost my confidence last year after my mare started spinning and napping on the roads. I had always been a confident rider - hacked anywhere, would gallop on the beach, no fear. Just after the napping started, she went lame and ended up going to hospital to be diagnosed with quite a few different conditions which meant that she had to have six months off work. On the same date that she was diagnosed, my other horse who was a bombproof confidence giver was PTS suddenly, so I didn't ride for six months. When it came to the time of getting her back into work, all I could think of were the napping/rearing/spinning episodes and I was nervous. I am slowly getting there, but am still wary and as a result of my nerves, I'm now tense and my position has gone to pot. I wish I could ride like I used to - no nerves. If my old confidence giving TB had spooked or refused to go past something I would deal with it with no problems, but for some reason I just can't do it now and I curl up in a ball and go tense. I know I'm crap at the moment and am going to start some lessons again when the horse is fit enough but for now riding isn't a pleasure, it's just something that has to be done. But I am determined that I will beat the nerves.
 
I lost my confidence recently when the horse I owned would take off for no reason. The horse I own now has done if a couple of times when he was startled, but for some reason he didn't scare me. I look forward to riding him istead of feeling sick with fear. Although I still have a fear of jumping him, not because anything has happened but because I know what can. I used to jump my quirky thoroughbred, but fear jumping my steady cob.
 
jumping is a tricky one, because for a few moments, there's not a lot you can do but sit tight :eek: Shy and I haven't quite developed our jumping technique, although it's on hold as my back's knacked anyway - but if we don't jump again, i'm not bothered.

Tbh, I am happy just being able to plod about still, with my back as it is. I know that if I have a "bad fall" I may really suffer, but on the other hand, riding does help my back muscles and my dodgy mental health - when I get on my pony, I have a huge grin on my face. Like so many riders I've taught at RDA.

Thinking of it, nervous riders may benefit from volunteering at RDA - it's a real eye opener to what people CAN do and so rewarding.
 
Cortez said:
I must admit to not having any confidence issues, whilst not really liking falling off, but if you are scared of cantering in fields, there is no rule that says you have to do that. I have a good friend (who is a better rider than me), who is absolutely terrified of horses tanking off in open fields. I understand this, even though it isn't a problem for me, and so we don't do the open field thing. Problem solved?
Click to expand...

You may understand but maybe you cannot empathise. Fear is something that is very difficult to control and isn't always as a result of anything in particular. Whilst you may sit at home and dream of galloping across fields or jumping that big fence (or maybe something less ambitious) once you are in it or faced with it the fear response can take over even if you desparately want to do it.

For some reason I now feel my confidence ebb even though I've had my horse for over 7 years and only fallen off once when he put in a really big jump doing grid work which was about 5 years ago. He is a very spooky horse and has been known to spin round and bog off and he can buck when he is excited but so far I've always stuck on and dealt with it with little problem. But now for me it's as if I must fall off sooner or later and it's going to hurt. This is beginning to sap my confidence and it's really bl**dy annoying as my riding world is getting smaller.

I want to know why some people just don't seem to experience fear and it doesn't seem to bother them if they fall off and get hurt they just carry on - I want to be one of them! :)
 
This is a great Idea Shysmum - can I join?

Really wish I could work out how to multi quote properly, so many going through the same thing. found myself nodding like the churchill dog reading replies. Its really good to know that there are others who are nervous riders and actually GET why we carry on.

I came back into riding a few years ago, a little nervous and taking lessons too. As a child I was, totally fearless and enjoyed riding and being around horses, couldnt get enough.

After an accident with a horse backflipping on me last year, things went from bad to worse. I would find myself in a state of panic at the thought of riding again.

Cortez - I kind of get where you are coming from, it was only after a conversation with my very good RI that things started to pick up for me. She basically said that if I am not enjoying this and spnding so much money, why put myself through it every lesson. THIS made me realise I loved riding and would do ehat ever it takes to change things. Although I ride at my yard, I still atend lessons at the RS, dont think I could do without it to be honest. Not giving up.

Things are getting better slowly, just have to ignore the people who take the mick, the chances are they have never had confidence issues. Reality sometimes hits home too hard.
 
anyone join in :D I guess after 41 years of riding (I started at 2), I have just admitted I'm worried about coming off because of my back - but I am very lucky in that I don't think about it once I'm on board.
 
I wish people that don't understand would sometimes just sit quiet! I struggle with my confidence now after a year with a difficult mare and a broken back last april.
We know oursleves that sometimes are fears are unfounded and feel pathetic enough (often) but I just think to myself, I am the brave one because I am scared but doing it anyway!!! Its easy to ride and gallop across open fields if you have no fear, but to canter the last 10 strides of a bridleway when your heart is beating so loud you can hear it is brave!
You never know when a nasty fall or a knock of confidence will effect you so best not to judge! I wouldn't wish this on anyone.
The one thing you have a passion for and live for, arrange your life around and it scares you, its hard to deal with but we keep trying.
We are the brave ones.
 
Cortez, with all due respect, I don't think the best instruction in the world for many years would make me a confident rider; I'm fearful, it's in my nature, but horses and riding are my passion. I don't think my lack of confidence should preclude my enjoyment of riding. I stay within my limits and my girl is happy and well-loved and well cared for.

You could liken it to, say, writing. All the instruction and learning in the world will not make you Shakespeare, but you can function quite well on a decent grounding in spelling and grammar :)
 
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