Hi im new - Feeling really down

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applechaff

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21 August 2010
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Hi, ive lurked for a while and decided to join because i need to write this all down



Im 19 and have one horse, a 15.1hh chestnut thoroughbred called Apple.
Last month i found a loaner for apple, which i wasnt happy about but i need to for money reasons and its better than having to sell her.
But about 3 weeks ago i got really ill, and ive been unable to go out since im getting a bit better but still cant cope with going out yet, so i havent seen my horse in ages, but luckily my parents are horsey and have been taking care of her.
But my loaner has started taking over, shes meant to be going up and riding and grooming 3 afternoons a week with no care/stable duties. Shes now going up everyday morning and evening so my parents are not going up anymore, my horses care is totally in the hands of someone ive only met a few times.
I dont want to tell her to back off, because i wouldnt be able to keep Apple as im not working at the moment either. But its killing me having someone else doing all the things i want to do with her, and my parents think im overreacting, i feel like a little kid again. Out of control of everything!
My parents cant ride her as my dad doesnt ride and my mum broke her arm a few weeks ago, so i need someone to ride her as she would go a bit crazy otherwise.
Am i just being stupid? :(
 
No. As I'm lying in bed with a broken back, with my daughter looking after and riding my six year old DWB, having all the fun now that she (hoss) is somewhat saner to ride, I fully understand how you feel hun.

Hugs to you hun. You have to just take it as it is at the moment - money, health, and time wise.

Have a hot choccy.
 
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Not stupid. Just feeling down and depressed and a bit sorry for yourself, which is understandable. I expect your loaner feels she is really helping you and your Mum out and would be horrified to know she was upsetting you.

Stay positive, concentrate on getting better and be happy that someone is caring for her.
 
Ladyinred said:
Not stupid. Just feeling down and depressed and a bit sorry for yourself, which is understandable. I expect your loaner feels she is really helping you and your Mum out and would be horrified to know she was upsetting you.

Stay positive, concentrate on getting better and be happy that someone is caring for her.
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This^!

Feel better soon xx
 
Hey! Nah, i dont think you're being stupid - i think you're perfectly entitled to feel that way, but think positive, at least this loaner seems to really like your mare (?) and is taking care of her!
chin up hun :)
 
Ladyinred said:
Not stupid. Just feeling down and depressed and a bit sorry for yourself, which is understandable. I expect your loaner feels she is really helping you and your Mum out and would be horrified to know she was upsetting you.

Stay positive, concentrate on getting better and be happy that someone is caring for her.
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Ditto!

Get well soon :) xx
 
Oh, I do hope you are feeling better soon.

Your loaner sounds a really lovely person and sounds as if she is really looking after Apple well. Why don't you think of her as a really good friend in the making. She is probably really enjoying her time and seeing that she is helping you out and lightening the load for you and your parents.

Apple, too, I am sure is getting the attention she needs but I am sure she knows who her mummy is and when you are able to go see her again am sure she will be really pleased to see you.

I was very poorly last year after an accident and had a friend, who at the time was more of an acquaintance, looking after Archie for me. I missed him, thought he would forget me, but in all honesty I could never have managed without her and knew he was in very safe hands. We forged a strong friendship and I feel forever in her debt. She can't have a horse of her own so by her having some horsey time with Archie fulfils her dreams a little by treating Archie as her own when she is with him made me feel better for it, seeing how much pleasure he brings.
 
I know how you feel so (((big hugs))) Let your loaner look after him like this until you're better at least and then review the situation then. I'm sure she is taking really good care of Apple and don't worry, if your Apple is anything like my old pony of the same name, she will never forget that you're her Mummy :)
 
Sorry to hear you are feeling down.

I, like others, believe your loaner is probably thinking she is doing you a massive favour and would be gutted if she thought you were upset by her actions (I've been in a similar situation and was glad to help in any way I could).

Concentrate on getting yourself better and so long as your loaner is doing a good job be thankful you found yourself someone who has been able to step up and help out when you were in need - in time you might look back and realise just what a god send she has been.
 
As other replie shave said you are probably feeling down 'cos you are poorly and that is magnifying the negative aspects for you at the moment. As they have also said, your loaner probably feels they are doing you and your family a favour by taking up all the slack. What would you do if you were loaning from someone who was taken ill?

Concentrate on getting better and focus on going to see Apple as something positive to focus on - I'm sure she is missing you too...

Get well soon x.
 
It is hard, i would be the same. You will be missing your horse
Why don't you invite the girl up for a cuppa to get to know her a bit better and say thanks for her help. you might feel better about things once you get to know her a bit better.
Hope you recover soon.
 
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