Hitler the Yard Owner

TheChestnutThing

TheChestnutThing

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I, until recently, have been very happy at my yard. I am a competitive showjumper and this yard has all the facilities and help available (owned and run and instruction by a very well known rider couple) and my horse is happy and looks amazing.
I used to be asked to ride and school the yard and owners horses. Used to.
background on owner: very well known rider with reputation for being ruthless, shouting and a hitler but gets results.
The owner went away to an event and asked me to run the yard and teach a few riding school lessons. With pay. Of course I was more than happy to do so.
When she came back, pay did not appear. And kids in the yard had gravitated towards me .
Kids see me as their big sister and ask me for help and advice rather than YO. Of course I happily oblige, as one would.
Bad decision.
After a big show a few weekends ago, then yard owner decided to varie between being nasty as hell to me and ignoring me. This nastiness included screaming and shouting (she is known for this amongst other things) and talking behind my back. I became reserved and started riding in the mornings to avoid her.
This week I was pulled aside and told that this is her yard and I must stop helping and advising kids. If they want help, they must come to her. If I do not listen (I am 28 years old) there will be trouble. And oh, I must please try not be friendly with kids either.
Then....
I was told in confidence that she had said to someone that I am in my way out the yard as I am a bad influence.
Then....
A close friend informed me that YO had told het the other day that she wanted to strangle me and that I must realise that riding is her thing, not mine.
Then.....cherry on the cake
I was asked by a parent (also a friend) o come with to a show this weekend to help her daughter. Parent was told that I am not be asked or allowed to go and she must keep daughter away from me.

Wtf?!

And if she is saying this to people I know.....

I now no longer want to be at the yard when she is there and avoid her at all costs.
When she sees me however, she is all syrupy sweet and lovely and compliments me on riding and horse.

There is only one yard in my area worth moving to but there is a waiting list. Any other yard I will have to drive up to an hour to get to.
 
Is there anywhere at all that you can go whilst waiting for the other yard to have a vacancy?
Not ideal if you want to keep on top of your horse but do you have any friends with a bit of land (and perhaps a small exercise area) that would do, just for the time being?

Or, are there any yards, albeit further away, as you say, where you could stretch to affording part or full livery in the short term? That way you don't have to commute the long drive every day?

If I were you, I'd be getting as far away from that bat-poo crazy woman as soon as humanly possible! Life is too short!
 
Get the hell out asap!

Crazy person....!

Oh, and on way out, give her an invoice for pay waiting to be given to you. You won't get it, but when people ask you why you left....there ya go!

God, I hate fruit-loops...
 
Sorry you're having a horrible time with this woman
I have to say it sounds a little bit like jealousy to me so maybe take it as a compliment and keep your chin up whilst quietly making plans to get the hell out of there :)
 
Unfortunately most decent yards here (I am from South Africa) have a long waiting list. My name is down at another yard in my area but it could be months before I am in and I am not prepared to have my horses' care compromised by moving to a crappy yard.
 
As Amy may says chin up do your horse ,get onto the waiting list at the other decent yard .
There's no way I would move my horse to a worse yard if I could remain somewhere good by buttoning my lip and going along with the YO.
She sounds crazy and you canot negiogate with crazy people .
 
Well, if you are going to stay and put up with the grief I'd be refusing to help anyone else (tell them YO doesn't like it) and if she asks you to do anything else (as she didn't pay you last time) then you can go about with a smile on your face.

I for one...prefer to be kept sane and away from nutters, life is too short to surround yourself by people who make you miserable. One could say my 10-acre field isn't brilliant as we don't have fancy facilities, but my horses care certainly isn't compromised by it.
 
Crappy yard: somewhere I have to constantly check on my horse and panic if I cannot get there for a day. Somewhere where they don't know much about competitive horses or thoroughbreds.
 
a lot of horsey people are mental! and your ym sounds like she's right at the top of that mental list! sounds like you well off out of it!

I got my own place this year and have never been happier! I don't have facilities but the guy that owns it lets me do what I want, I have plenty of grazing with I maintain well and no gossip or drama to deal with! none of my stuff goes missing! so would recommend finding somewhere alone, somewhere with facilities locally that you can ride/box to if needed! even if its just for the winter!
 
I would move in a flash, your not a child, and they have no right to talk to you like that, however I do feel that this is sooo often a problem... sigh horsie people with a big "I know better than you" attitude and above their station!
 
I would sit down with the YO over a coffee and try to clear the air

You say you were happy there previously so the YO cant be a bad

You say you used yo be asked to school the horses, you also say they asked you to look after the yard which you were happy to do but didnt get paid

I can imagine you would be upset by this but ask yourself if its a 50/50 situation here and if your unhappiness has caused some of the problems too

You will not win, she has the yard, the credibility and the facilities so hard though it may be i would be eating serious humble pie right now as if the other yard doesnt work out you may need her help!
 
WelshD all was not roses all the time. The YO has a terrible rep for doing what she did to me (but obviously in different ways). Yes I wasn't happy about not being paid but did not let this show. In fact I still helped out and mixed feeds; tacked up school ponies; hauled jumping equipment etc when asked.

The issue came in when she realised that the kids would rather come to me for help than her (as she would just shout at them).
I of course would not confront her (she would deny it and make it worse, I kmow from a previous incident concerning something that was done to my horse without my permission), nor would I leave on bad terms as yes, I may need her help and also you do not wrong this woman.....

It is not about winning at all. It is rather about being treated right as a paying client....
 
TheChestnutThing said:
and also you do not wrong this woman.....

It is not about winning at all. It is rather about being treated right as a paying client....
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Firstly, I don't give a flying fook who anyone is. If they say things behind my back or shouted at me....let's just say it's given back the same and I'd be gone. No-one is indispensable. There are MANY great trainers out there.

There is the crux of your problem, you have crossed the line from paying client to free-helper. You are only going to solve this by going back to paying client.
 
Looks like you will have to just keep refusing to help in future, and ignore the stuff people tell you. If she's being nice to your face at least she isn't yelling at you...

If you aren't doing the extras that she has issues with and you are paying bills on time, then she can't moan at you. Let her talk behind your back, and if the others want to tell you, tell them you aren't interested in gossip. Stick in your iPod and turn it up....

...but again if it were me...I still prefer my field with limited facilities and sanity. I box out to lessons and shows....

Good luck!
 
You sound like you have bought it all on yourself. Re 'competitive horse' I think you mean competition horse, and if basic care is well done then it doesn't matter who does it, a horse is a horse after all.
 
jemima*askin said:
This is one where I'd would SO like to hear the other side of the story . . .
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This.

Tbh you sound like you have a bit of a chip on your shoulder. From the start of your post it just seemed to me as if you were being a bit.....I dunno, I can't think of the right word.
You seem like you'd me more suited to a yard where there isn't anyone else rising at the same level as you, so that you can be the best. Which is just the way some people are :)
Sorry if that sounds judgemental, it just sounded a bit 6 and two 3s to me.
 
Loving your opening thread. Brilliant.

Surprisingly, quite a few crappy YO's know about TB's and competition horses. They even have jumps.

Your choice. Be treated with disrespect or move to a yard where you won't have a professional on site to help your hobby.

Hope your next thread is as controversial as this one. Well done.
 
dogatemysalad said:
Loving your opening thread. Brilliant.

Surprisingly, quite a few crappy YO's know about TB's and competition horses. They even have jumps.

Your choice. Be treated with disrespect or move to a yard where you won't have a professional on site to help your hobby.

Hope your next thread is as controversial as this one. Well done.
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:) Agree, I own a crappy yard lol, no school, no nothing about TB or competition horses, but I know how to take care of my natives and last time I looked they still had four legs.

I'd rather move to a field with nothing and look after my own horse than put up with all that hassle
 
AngieandBen said:
:) Agree, I own a crappy yard lol, no school, no nothing about TB or competition horses, but I know how to take care of my natives and last time I looked they still had four legs.
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Four legs? You're definitely doing it all wrong!
:D

OP move, as long as they listen to what you ask at a new yard, I'm sure horse will be fine, for a week or two. I wouldn't be trusting current YO with things as they are. Why not ask for the money you are owed, and have everything back on an even playing field.
 
A crappy yard shouldnt have anything to do with the horses care if you are doing it yourself, what looks like a crappy yard doesnt mean the horses needs are not catered for, if you cant do you horse yourself and you need this yard, then smile, keep to yourself, learn very quickly do as little as you can where you think you might be helping others, it is never appreciated and backfires rather quickly, and do not become popular, so if you wish to stay eat humble pie, apologise for any misunderstanding which might have come from you being helpful and remember you are just a livery. I am also from Africa, i wear the same T Shirt you have just bought at your yard
 
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