RichardRider
Well-Known Member
Anyone's wife ever order HALF A BUTCHERED HOG and forget to tell you about it?
Imagine, 55yr old father of 8yr old boy trying to get dinner made(wife in town till the strikes over; "read hostage",) boy in tub, cleaning up the from the painting I did this afternoon,and catch our damned labrador who had found another wonderfully smelling pile of something to roll in when...
a woman drives up with two and a half beer coolers filled with a freshly butchered hog! "Didn't your wife tell you?" I reply that we're not married(and we're not! especially at these moments.) Well anyway, continues the French Woman," she ordered this last weekend." "Ok, I know the woman," and go get some money.
The woman follows me in with the two beer coolers full of meat and asks me where I wanted it. Anywhere I reply, I'll take it out to the freezer in a minute...Don't I have the freezer bags?
WHAT ARE FREEZER BAGS? " Freezer bags are what you're going to put the meat into," you stupid thing!
Cellphone flys into my shaking hand "DID YOU ORDER 50-60KILOS OF MEAT LAST WEEKEND?" "IF YOU DID THE WOMAN SAYS THAT SHE TOLD YOU WE HAD TO WRAP IT ALL OURSELVES!!"
...No freezer bags...
'DO WE HAVE ANYTHING LIKE A FREEZER BAG?" The woman had other deliveries to make AND THERE'S A WHOLE LOT OF RAW BLOODY MEAT SITTING ALL AROUND THE KITCHEN, SAUSAGES, PATES, TONGUES, you name it(no head, thank god.)
"There might be some aluminum foil somewhere," she says. "I am still at work, call me later..."
Don't ask me how I got it all into the freezer(and wrapped in what,) but this week started of rather poorly(with the lovely French Strikes,) and certainly isn't getting any better...
and just a few years ago I was the happiest,HEALTHIEST childless ,selfish and single man ON THE PLANET!!! Where did I go wrong?
Imagine, 55yr old father of 8yr old boy trying to get dinner made(wife in town till the strikes over; "read hostage",) boy in tub, cleaning up the from the painting I did this afternoon,and catch our damned labrador who had found another wonderfully smelling pile of something to roll in when...
a woman drives up with two and a half beer coolers filled with a freshly butchered hog! "Didn't your wife tell you?" I reply that we're not married(and we're not! especially at these moments.) Well anyway, continues the French Woman," she ordered this last weekend." "Ok, I know the woman," and go get some money.
The woman follows me in with the two beer coolers full of meat and asks me where I wanted it. Anywhere I reply, I'll take it out to the freezer in a minute...Don't I have the freezer bags?
WHAT ARE FREEZER BAGS? " Freezer bags are what you're going to put the meat into," you stupid thing!
Cellphone flys into my shaking hand "DID YOU ORDER 50-60KILOS OF MEAT LAST WEEKEND?" "IF YOU DID THE WOMAN SAYS THAT SHE TOLD YOU WE HAD TO WRAP IT ALL OURSELVES!!"
...No freezer bags...
'DO WE HAVE ANYTHING LIKE A FREEZER BAG?" The woman had other deliveries to make AND THERE'S A WHOLE LOT OF RAW BLOODY MEAT SITTING ALL AROUND THE KITCHEN, SAUSAGES, PATES, TONGUES, you name it(no head, thank god.)
"There might be some aluminum foil somewhere," she says. "I am still at work, call me later..."
Don't ask me how I got it all into the freezer(and wrapped in what,) but this week started of rather poorly(with the lovely French Strikes,) and certainly isn't getting any better...
and just a few years ago I was the happiest,HEALTHIEST childless ,selfish and single man ON THE PLANET!!! Where did I go wrong?
