Holiday or Horse...is OH right???

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Mary Poppins

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8 weeks ago my OH agreed I could buy another horse as my boy has quite bad arthritis and semi-retired. 6 weeks ago I found a horse that I wanted. He sounded lovely - big, happy hacker, but what really swung it was that he looked exactly like my old horse that I lost one a a half years ago. This is the only horse that I have really wanted and I think it is because he looked so much like my old boy.

BUT... Now my OH has decided the money we have saved up (£2000) should be spent on paying for the rest of our holiday which is at the end of July.

I haven't spoken to him really since Friday as I am so upset, he knows its because he has decided to pay for the holiday. Am I being selfish in wanting the money for this horse? The rest of the money for the holiday doesn't have to be paid until 29th July, and by that time we could have saved the money to pay for it. For the last 6 weeks I have been thinking I am getting this horse and now he has decided I'm not.

Is my OH right that we should pay for the holiday, or am I being selfish by wanting to buy a horse (that in the first place he said I could get)???

Sorry for what seems like an essay, but thanks for reading. x
 
If you will definately have the money for the holiday by the time its due then yes i think hes mean..........

If you will struggle - it works both ways - he wants a holiday you want ahorse - you already have a horse he wants the hol!

but yeh im with you ! :)
 
Thanks Noodle - you're right...he's mean!

We wouldn't exactly struggle for the money - he has his tax rebate to put in for which would be through before the holiday so he could quite easily use that. But you can't tell him - well not at the moment because I'm not talking to him! lol.
 
If it is jointly saved money then I think it should go on the joint holiday, if it is money you have saved then buy what you like with it.
 
It's a hard one but to be honest I'm more with you. If you can definately get that holiday money saved by when it's got to be payed and still afford new horse then I think you need to have a serious chat with him xx
 
TBH it depends on how you work your finances as a couple.
I have been married for nearly 30 yrs (:eek:) but have my own bank account and money (and job!). My OH is also very generous, he earns lots more than me. However before agreeing to buy the horse in principle, I would have thought you should have sorted out which pot of money it was coming from. If YOU are paying from YOUR money and can still ensure that your share of the holiday (which is obviously important to OH)can still be paid for on time, then I would just buy him anyway.

I would not be happy with someone controlling my finances so much - but it all depends in individual circumstances.
 
MaryPoppins, did your OH agree in a sort of "Yeah, let's talk about it later"... or "Yes, I think you should have another horse"...? Sometimes it can be easy to misunderstand someone.
 
Misst - That's the thing, I don't work so he earns all the money. He's very generous with his money, always has been, which is why I'm a bit stumped at the moment with his way of thinking!
 
If he said that you could have a horse, that this was the horse you could have, did not put a restricition on it, and now will not review his thinking, then one could say mean, though if he pays for everything it's a hard one to call. On initial reading, there seems to be an element of control going on.
 
Millreef - When I saw the horse I wanted, I phoned him at work straight away and told him about it. We spoke again when we came home and he told me to phone the woman and ask if she would LWVTB. She said no, and said to phone back in a couple of weeks to see if he was still for sale. My OH phoned 2 weeks later and she said he was still for sale and we was. He said we would probably have the money in about 4 weeks and he gave her his phone number and she agreed to phone us if he HAD been sold - she hasn't phoned since!
 
Sorry but I really think unfortunately, if it is his money then he can do/say as he pleases. Like Mrs M it sounds like a bit of a control issue. Can you not earn any of your own. Also I assume he then pays for the keep etc of any horse... what happens if he changes his mind again one day and decides enough is enough? Are you buying the horse unseen??
 
Then perhaps this is where the confusion lies. If you initially talked of loaning the horse then this may be what he agreed to. After finding out she wouldn't loan then he assumed perhaps that that was the end to it? Incidentally, have you phoned the woman back to ask if it is still available?
 
Mary Poppins said:
Millreef - When I saw the horse I wanted, I phoned him at work straight away and told him about it. We spoke again when we came home and he told me to phone the woman and ask if she would LWVTB. She said no, and said to phone back in a couple of weeks to see if he was still for sale. My OH phoned 2 weeks later and she said he was still for sale and we was. He said we would probably have the money in about 4 weeks and he gave her his phone number and she agreed to phone us if he HAD been sold - she hasn't phoned since!
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That is a very strange way to go about enquiring about a horse. I think you should forget it and go on the holiday. :)
 
Misst - I have an Ebay business which does ok and generally goes back into the house. I have a five year old Daughter and two older boys and it was his decision that I give up work when she was born, and yes, he does pay for the house, horses, cars etc. God, I sound like such a spoilt B**** I'm beginning to think now he could be right.... Feeling a little ashamed now.
 
Flame_ said:
That is a very strange way to go about enquiring about a horse. I think you should forget it and go on the holiday. :)
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This.

Horse may well have been sold by now, I wouldn't really expect the horse owner to have contacted you.

I'd clarify the situation with your OH though - find out when you can buy a new horse and how much you can spend on it, and only start looking when you've got the money to go and buy one.
 
MP you are not spoilt at all. My children are grown up so it is easy for me to work. I did weekend work (nursing) when they were small as we needed the money and I wanted to have some of my own. However, every relationship is different but for me, I would never have given up work because my husband wanted me to. It is part of who I am.

Maybe you can have an account of your own that you can save up with? Could you keep some of your business money for yourself?
To me this is less about buying a horse and more about having control of your own destiny.

Despite all my waffling above, please do be aware I also would probably not have horses if it was not for my ever generous OH who "bales me out" when the lorry breaks down, the vets bills keep coming or anything else I may have not planned for!:D So please don't think I am being judgemental.
 
Yes, I think I should really start looking when we have the money (again). I don't know if the horse is still for sale anyway, but he really did look like my old horse which is why I think I wanted it TBH.

Misst - I had never really thought about saving myself, but think I will now. For some reason OH has really put his foot down on this and I'm a bit like :eek:
 
Maybe he is feeling the pinch a bit with the recession?

I hope you find a little to put aside for yourself and that you have a lovely new horse one day soon. In the meantime maybe just enjoy the holiday:D
Also I bet the horse wasn't nearly as nice as your old one:)
 
Thanks Misst - Thought I was gonna get shot down in flames with this post for being selfish.

And yur right - he wouldn't have been as nice as my old boy. :)
 
I haven't read any other replies, but in my house HORSES before holidays - always!!!!!

A holiday is a week or 2 away somewhere, which you will have forgotten about in a months time and you will have nothing to show for the money you spent on it - a horse is a lifetime of continual pleasure. Your £2K is better spent on a horse without question.
 
Naw :D Why selfish? If it suits you and OH then who is being selfish?
Hope it all works out. You better start talking to him soon:D:D
 
Misinterpreted said:
I haven't read any other replies, but in my house HORSES before holidays - always!!!!!

A holiday is a week or 2 away somewhere, which you will have forgotten about in a months time and you will have nothing to show for the money you spent on it - a horse is a lifetime of continual pleasure. Your £2K is better spent on a horse without question.
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My thoughts exactly!!!!

But have a feeling not gonna win the arguement with OH :(
 
The only thing I would say is try and get yourself a job, even something part time so that you have some pennies of your own instead of arguing with OH over his money.
I completely understand where you are coming from but it is his money and he is in control. If you got a part time job at least then you have more freedom on the financial side of things :)
 
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