Honest advice for nervous novice rider buying a horse

[savannahcat]

Hello i would really appreciate some open and honest advice here is my situation .
I am a thirty three year old female who has had horses on and off since i was eighteen. I used to be a confident rider when i was in my late teens early twenties. Since then due to lack of experience i have bought horses that have had issues or been unsuitable for me to ride 3 and four year olds to be precise that have taken my confidence away. I have up until last year had a lovely young horse that i had in full schooling livery with the intention of being happy not to ride the horse myself but watch the horse compete with a professional rider.
To cut a long story short the young horse went lame and is now in a new home more suited to light work and I have decided that i would like to get another horse but this time i would like to be able to enjoy riding it.
I had wanted to buy something that i could enjoy at home and have lessons on but with enough quality that my trainer could compete on my behalf.So i could still enjoy going to shows with the horse.
My trainer now has a full yard and a waiting list so this is not going to happen. I have looked at full schooling livery elsewhere but it is too expensive. So i am now having a crisis of confidence about the thought of keeping a horse elsewhere without schooling livery and a professional rider. So i am now thinking am i mad to buy another horse if i have to keep it on a normal livery yard. Even though i have had horses for years i have always been able to rely on other people to be on hand to help me with the horse i still feel like a novice confidence wise but i actually know quite a lot in theory.
My riding is very rusty to say the least i have had a couple of lessons recently but realistically i think it will be a couple of months of intensive lessons before i am confident and capable enough of riding a horse correctly that is not a riding school type. I do like a nice warmblood not novice horses i know!. I also worry about being on a yard that is not a small professional yard. I will also miss watching my horse compete as i do not think i would ever be confident enough to compete and i am worried that it will frustrate me in time.
I have worries that at a normal livery yard or riding school they will not have instructors who are very good at teaching pure dressage.
Also i am worried that i will be lonely on a more larger yard as i like to have people around me to ride out with or just someone around that can help me if i am unsure about something relating to my horse. Can any novice owners riders share their thoughts on keeping a horse on a less professional large livery yard. Has anyone experienced a similar situation that can offer advice. Am i crazy to think about getting another horse if i can no longer afford professional livery.
I really want to get another horse but i do not want to end up on a yard where i feel frustrated with the instruction available and isolated and lonely.

 

[Star_Chaser]

Blimey... opt for riding lessons with a reservation on a livery space when one becomes available. At least if your riding then your confidence will get a boost and you might find that your better about having an alternative yard for a future purchase.

Not sure why the need to own a horse and have someone else compete for you could you not still go to the shows just for the pleasure of it?

 

[dafthoss]

Why not go look at some of the other yards you can afford first, most are very supportive and people will help out if you need it. Then you can start looking for a horse for you, some thing less flashy than you have had in the past thats been and done a fair bit so you can get on and enjoy it. A nice RC all rounder could suit you and then if you do still want your trainer to compete it for you they can but you could also compete it if it has a fair ammount of experiance and is good to do out competing. And while you are on the look out for your new horse have some lesssons to get your confidence back.

 

[popsdosh]

Maybe find somebody who already has a horse but needs some help doing it on a sharing basis.
Till you get your confidence back I would forget about buying another horse as you will never enjoy it.I actually have horses with riders but it took me a really long time to enjoy it as I really wanted to be involved but you feel like a spare part sometimes.However I enjoy being able to help young riders get going now when they cant really afford the horsepower.I used to have them with pros and hated evey minute of it.

 

[be positive]

If you can find the "right" horse there is no reason you cannot get where you want, there are many small yards that can offer the support you need, it may mean going for training outside the yard bit that should be no problem.

I have helped people in similar situations, building their confidence and supporting them by taking the horse out then going with them when they want to have a go offering support, plenty of handholding and the odd kick up the backside when required, it does not have to be a smart pro yard often the best support comes from the small more personal private type of set up.

Have a look around your area, ask for local recommendations you may be surprised what is out there, possibly a share or loan could be a good place to start or turn it round and find a good young rider to support by giving them the ride on "your" horse with a view to you riding it more as time goes on get them to help find the right one for you.

If the horse has a good and generous nature there is no reason even something rather smart will not suit you, it does not have to be untalented with no movement it just needs to be of the right type to help you gain your confidence.

 

[TarrSteps]

Some people actually like having horses competed professionally, believe it or not. I was once severely taken to task by a client when I suggested she make a move to sell the horses of hers I was riding and she told me very bluntly it was her money and she'd do what she wanted with it, thanks.

But to the OP, do you want to stay with your current trainer? If so then you can't really do anything until there is a space on that yard unless he/she also teaches elsewhere. If that is the case perhaps look for a space on one of those yards - you would have regular access to your trainer and like minded people who ride with him/her.

Sharing is also an option. Although that has it's own risks!

The difference for you is this won't be your first horse, just the first in awhile you're more responsible for. So with a good support system you should be perfectly capable of looking after and riding a SUITABLE horse.

My advice is to get someone to help you find a suitable horse. If you're going to stay with your trainer, great, but sit down and be VERY clear you want a horse this time you can ride yourself, you are not buying your trainer a ride and if that does turn out to be the case, the horse will be going down the road tout suite. Discuss budget etc but don't be afraid to remind your trainer that you're a client and deserve the service you're asking for.

The other option is to find a new agent, someone who will help you find a horse and then be around to help. I do a version of this for 'problem' horses and young horses people want help with. We sit down and discuss goals, then map out a plan to get where we want to go. Initially this might be me riding the horse regularly and/or being there often to work with the horse and rider. Then gradually we switch over as everyone gains confidence, until the owner is doing more and I'm coming less often. If there's a bump in the road or a new goal, we might shift the balance again for a bit then work back towards independence. If the rider is away or can't ride we often take the opportunity to do a week of boot camp for the horse. Similarly, if the rider has time off we might do a few more lessons or go out to school or similar. Conversely, if the rider is feeling secure, we might save some pennies by skipping a few sessions. Clients know they can always call if they have a question and book an 'emergency' session if something unexpected comes up.

Most people are much more competent than they think they are but confidence is a fragile thing. Eventually though, it is also my job to step back a bit and encourage people to branch out - it's not about making people dependent.

Ask around, see if you can find someone who will do that job for you. And remember it IS a job, you have the right to demand responsible service. Of course you will also make friends and meet other horse owners to support you but I think having someone behind you helps you smile and nod when other people question your methods or dent your confidence.

 

[Honey08]

Have you discussed it with your trainer? They may know of a schoolmaster that you could have lessons on perhaps, while you wait for a place to come up on their yard. If dressage is the area you would like to be in, they may also keep an eye out for a good sensible horse for you too..

 

[lme]

I don't know where the OP lives but there must be yards that are somewhere nearby that fall somewhere between full on competition yards & large livery yards without access to good training.

Where I keep my horses, the owners compete seriously @ dressage (on their own & clients horses) & liveries range from kids ponies to retired horses, allrounders & competition horses. We have access to good training as & when we need it. There are several people who have gone back to riding after a break but have bought 'serious' horses who are also 'nice people' and it seems to have worked really well. In my case, I have a mare who could be good enough for a professional but is basically a family member who likes to do the odd competition. She is schooled during the week by my Y/O, I have a lesson on her every weekend & my daughter takes her out SJ. At the moment, that is enough for me but, one day I might get brave enough to compete her myself.

So in OP's place, I'd look for a yard where I could get decent training but also enjoy doing low key stuff with my horse & a horse good enough to compete but which I could also enjoy riding. Best of both worlds.

 

[Polotash]

Do NOT buy a youngster. I'd suggest you look for something older and a schoolmaster, perhaps something that has had a good career and wants a quieter life?

If you only feel confident being on your trainers yard I guess you'll just have to go on the waiting list for space and carry on with lessons while you wait. A new horse and a new yard may be too much if you are feeling a bit fragile confidence wise.

Good luck, don't rush into anything!

 

[ihatework]

I would say the obvious route to take short term is to put your name down on the wait list for your current trainers yard.

If you haven't ridden much in a while then it would make sense to go for some lessons at a riding school, believe it or not there are some out there that have quality horses/instructors. Try going to Talland or others similar. This will benefit you two fold, not only will it get you back into riding but it will also allow you to sit on a variety of horses so that you can start to evaluate what it is you like and want in your next purchase.

Sounds like the right yard will be make or break for you. I'd hold out for a place on the one you know will suit you to be honest. If that really won't be an option then it really is just a case of doing your research well. Key will be a friendly and supportive/encouraging yard owner, if YO sets that theme then the majority of liveries usually follow suit.

I wouldn't get too hung up on big v small yard, it the general atmosphere that counts.