hopefully for the last time HHOs. . .

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Rosiejazzandpia

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I need your wisdom and advice. From my previous threads I have said how I am unhappy with the yard my horse is on and the hostility that me and another woman are facing from liveries and YO.
This is my final decision now. Im either going to move yards or just give up riding and horses all together.
Current yard:
£108 a month for DIY (£27 P/W)
£35 a month for hay bale shared between 2 horses
£15 a month for straw bales
no facilities, cant even lunge in fields
poor treatment from YO
Crappy stables with no drainage
good hacking
no storage

Proposed yard:
£35 per week summer
£40 per week winter
prices include haylage and turnout PLUS use of school and round pen
bedding will still have to be bought.
American style barn stabling and traditional yard with private storage space

So we would like to move to new yard that has great hacking but is 5 mins extra away. Only issue is that this yard is full atm and has a waiting list.
I do desperatly want to move and cannot wait till two stable come up but i honestly cant take much more of current yard. I suffer from depression and have self harmed in the past and now all this stress is making me depressed again.
So should I get my name on the waiting list now and risk a 6 month or more wait or do I just give up?
Thanks,
Maria xx
 
Get your name on their list, and ask if they can recommend anywhere in the meantime, as you really need to move due to lack of storage/facilities. No sense mentioning the other stuff, as it would look like you badmouthing the YO.

Could the second yard give you grass livery temporarily, or is there a field you could rent? Turn the horses away until you have a yard to move to, iyswim.
 
Get your name on that waiting list! If a space comes up you don't want to miss it. I would also keep looking elsewhere and see if there is anywhere that you could move to just to get out of the situation.
 
I would definitely go on the waiting list, you can always come off again if you find somewhere else in the meantime. New yard sounds great. I think if you take steps to move off the current yard if will be easier to cope with the unpleasantness, knowing that you will be moving away soon. With any luck spaces might come up sooner.
 
Please dont give up, I know how hard it is to tough it out sometimes but it will be worth it. Horses should be prescribed for depression !!.
Get your name on the list and keep looking
 
I really feel your pain with this one - being on a yard you do not want to go to just put you off everything, including horses.

I moved twice to get a yard I feel "safe" at, and it has made all the difference to us, so I agree, get your name down on the list, and maybe ask the new YO if she can syggest somewhere in the meantime (and don't go into the bad stuff).

So sorry you are down, my horse is my therapy.
 
As above get yourself on the waiting list and at the same time keep looking. Not easy but remember you can't change how people are but YOU can change how you react to them.
 
I too would say put your name down for the new yard, when you can see the light at the end of the tunnel, it is much easier to keep plodding on through the tunnel. It is always worth asking yourself, that when this is over, will it matter in 5 years time? If no, then will it matter in 5 months time, etc. The bad times do pass and can only scar us if we allow them to. Good luck :) Don't allow others to dictate whether you should keep horses or not.
 
O.m.g I know exactly how you feel.
I too am at the end of my tether my husband and I moved to a d.i.y yard.
Thinking that it would be so much better with not so many girls around,
How wrong was I .
We put up new fencing paddocks because there wasn't any for our horses and made new ones for the other girls as there paddocks were like cats cradles and all the so called electric fencing wasnt electrified so the horses were jumping over and getting out to..
but oh no that wasn't good enough they complained ..no thank you or stuff all ..I also suffer with bouts of depression and low self esteem because I let people get to me to easy..
If I had done them a bad term I could understand it ..
Please don't let them get the better of you .
And put you're name down on the list.
And remember always keep you're self to yourself .
I hope you find what you are looking for.
My sincere wishes to you.
Don't let the shits get you down x
 
Where abouts in the country are you OP? Someone may be able to recommend an alternative yard to you that you could move to straight away? Not all yards advertise, sometimes the best ones come up through word of mouth.
I hope you find a lovely yard where you and your horses will be happy xx
 
Thanks so much everybody! I phoned new YO straight after you all posted. Im going to visit new yard next weekend with a few friends, YO owner seems lovely and i have had the school for hire down there before so she isnt a complete stranger. Going to have a chat and put my name down.
Cant quote on my phone but my horses have been the only thing getting me through my depression. I also like to tunnel bit, and to not just keep plodding on through the tunnel.
Django pony- I am based in sheffield atm.
Thank you all so much! :)
 
Put yr name on the waiting list but dont leave it at that, keep calling towards the end of beg of each month to see if they have availability yet. And look elsewhere too for the interim. At current yard just smile and be pleasant then no one has any reason to be nasty, if you sulk then it will just put their hackles up.
 
Put your name down, see if there is some where else in the mean time (even if only for 6 months or so) - try not to bad mouth (as much as its so good to get it off your chest, come here and do it, not to a potential new yard owner - who could even know the current yard owner to whom the comments could get back to before you leave and then make it worse at current yard....)

I know how you feel, I've had horses 10 years, been to agricultural college and got equine diplomas and other qualifications, yet as far as the yard owner is concerned I don't have a single clue and she's even called me an "idiot" and also been told "your terrifing that horse" in front of his dentist!!

*MY* horse, who I use *MY* money to pay for his teeth to beck checked... Wonder how that could be wasting money, or scaring him haha.

Enjoy your horses, don't let anyone else ruin your love and happiness!

Enjoy Your Horses!

Good Luck :)
 
Put your name down and maybe ask if they can go there on grass livery whilst waiting for stables to come free - also ask how often stables come free
 
mynutmeg said:
Put your name down and maybe ask if they can go there on grass livery whilst waiting for stables to come free - also ask how often stables come free
Click to expand...

All of the above plus this. I would be tempted explain your situation to the new YO. Tell the new YO how the old yard is making you feel down etc. Play it up, You never know the YO may take pity on you and bump you up to the top of the list !
Any way stay strong chin up.
 
Well done for getting in touch with the YO - do keep us posted how you get on. There is always lots of support on here if you're feeling down (used to be in Soapbox ) and just want to talk :)
 
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