Horrible new girl!!! LOOOOONG. rant.

teamsarazara

teamsarazara

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Okay so im at a livery/riding school/schooling yard. I work part time as a summer job and my pony stays there. I ride the young ponies that come in and if the younger ones are having problems with their ponies then im often asked to step in and give a hand. Which i dont mind because we are all quite close. We have about 50 horses, 25 liveries, rest retired or riding school/young horses. Theres the boss, theres 4 older girls and im the youngest employed. Now everyone knows the situation heres my rant...

Our boss employed a new girl and all she could talk about is her impressive cv and how good with animals she was. Ill give her that, she is quite good with animals. Shes not done an awful lot with horses though. She is also a good worker(apart from her mucking out which is AWFUL).

She is now making alot of comments, on peoples parenting, riding, etc and seems to have befriended all the kids after a month of us trying so hard to get along with her. She is now asking kids when their parents aren't there if she can ride their ponies. Everyone on the yard earned their respect and she just comes across as far too over familiar.

Weve just started with a young pony and i bring him in when it isnt busy, give him a school/hack, groom and he goes back in the field. She wouldn't leave me alone when i was schooling him the other day and i couldnt concentrate and he wouldn't settle. I left him tied up while i went to get my grooming kit and i came back and she was already grooming him! Grr!

Now the boss is starting to dislike her and has made a charming nickname up for her... hitler with an S on the start. ha! I dont know if im over reacting? Or if we should drive her out...
 
I think driving her out would be very unkind!

If you all have a problem with her, which as far as I can tell is for being over friendly? Which is not exactly a crime. Then talk to her. Joining a yard where you don't know anyone can be nerve wracking for some. She maybe be trying to make an effort and is going overboard.

I don't agree with her commenting on peoples riding or parenting skills, but I would at least ask YO to talk to her. She deserves a chance before she is 'driven out'.

Perhaps you could also give her a hand mucking out, so she sees how it's done properly.
 
Driving her out would be nasty. She may be trying too hard to fit in. Your YO should have a word with her about being professional and not making personal remarks about clients riding or families.
Have to say, that I'm not impressed by the YO using a nickname for a member of staff. The girl is an employee and should be treated with respect and given guidance when she is not working to the correct standard.
 
God you sound horrid....why don't you all grow up and actually treat her with some respect - ok, so she might not be living up to your oh so high standards but instead of trying to 'drive her out' which is essentially a form of bullying, and calling her names behind her back, perhaps holding a meeting would be more appropriate? And not you, but her boss? Which sounds like a hag anyway.

And did you ever think that the young pony you were riding wouldn't settle because you couldn't concentrate on anything else but someone watching you? Nice work!

Jeez
 
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You sound absoloutely like a spoilt brat. She sounds like a possibly slightly immature kid, who is friendly and trying to pitch in and help-she isn't very expereinced with horses-who is until they've got that experience? As for her grooming a horse -get over it!
 
OP, you sound quite young, am I right? I don't think your YO is helping matters by acting in a completly immature manner towards this girl. But if you can't follow by example in this situation then you need to ask yourself if this is how you, yourself would be happy to be treated by others? Treat others only as you would like to be treated yourself.

How about the completly radical idea of making an effort with her? I am guessing your previous attempts to do so may have been half hearted. Perhaps you feel she is treading on your toes? But in life you will encounter all sorts of people who you may not get a long with. Driving them away will NOT be an option, you have to learn to either accept people for who they are and make an effort to get a long. Or at the very least learn how to rub along nicely. Ditch the bitchiness as you get back in life what you put out there.
 
I think you are quite a sad person. She may be over friendly and over familiar because she lacks confidence and is keen to try and impress. Why not give her the benefit of the doubt and try and be kind to her. I think your YO has an appalling manner by using such a nickname for this girl. Sounds like you are not the only one that should grow up.

Try and befriend the girl and see it from her angle. I am guessing she is just a little scared and feels intimidated by you all, especially as you are more knowledgable that her. You may find she is just being honest when she criticises peoples parenting skills, etc. We all have our own opinions about things, she is just expressing hers.

Keep your chin up and remember - if it were you how would you like to be treated? I think you may end up with a fab friend there.
 
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That poor girl... it must be extremely difficult to start working on a yard like that and its bad form for the boss to be making up names to insult staff behind their backs.

It sounds like their is a strong clique and system already set up in the yard, and the concept of 'earn your respect' sounds a bit outdated in the modern workplace.

I don't understand half of your complaints - she's friendly with the kids but not with you's? but then she starts to groom a pony to help you out (and maybe have an 'in' for a conversation with you but you take it as an insult.

She say yourself she hasn't as much experience with horses, but then she goes to watch schooling (probably to learn more) and she gets insulted for 'putting you off', which is ridiculous and a fault in your riding more than a reflection on her.

She is only new and doesn't understand the boundaries and setup at the yard, which is something that happens to anyone in a new place. As for the idea of 'driving her out' that sounds extremely immature and nasty. You sound really young, and in life you will go through a load of different jobs and employment circumstances and you will have to work with a wide range of people, some of whom you won't get on with, but its a better sign of a persons character if they are professional and nice instead of bitchy. I hope no-one ever treats you the way you's seem to be treating this girl. And as for the boss giving nicknames, i hope you never come across another boss that does this as it is horrible and nasty (and if they are doing it to her,m you can be guaranteed they have probably have bitchy nicknames for you and your friends too).

All the issues the girl has can be cleared up with simple communication of boundaries from the boss. Give the girl a break and be nice.
 
I hope you are about 10 years old? If you are older than this, you are very immature.
I don't think you should "drive her out", I think you should be pleasant, and help to teach her when she doesn't know something ( I'm sure you didn't appear from the womb knowing everything about horses )
I'm also sure that if your boss ( the adult in this ? ) is calling her such lovely names, they are probably calling you something simular,
Kx
 
sounds like its a bit of the green eyed coming out,

she sounds like shes likable and efficient and is making the rest of you look bad because although she lacks expeience she is making up with it by just being a generally nice hardworker.

mind you, you and your boss sound like you spend most of your time worrying about what everyone else is doing, its probably not that hard for her to get on with it, no wonder the kids prefer her.

poor kid, your boss sounds like a dick.
 
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She has just started a new job, give her a break. She is keen and probably wants to learn so instead of bitching accept her help, she gets on with the kids as she probably feels alienated by the other staff. Your boss isn't helping either!
You are sounding rather spoilt and maybe you see her as a threat? You are there as a summer job so i assume you are still at school, she has been employed by your boss so show her some respect and no doubt she will reciprocate.
I'm sorry if you thought you would get everyone on your side, but this does rather strike of workplace bullying and shouldn't be tolerated.
 
jenbleep said:
God you sound horrid....why don't you all grow up and actually treat her with some respect - ok, so she might not be living up to your oh so high standards but instead of trying to 'drive her out' which is essentially a form of bullying, and calling her names behind her back, perhaps holding a meeting would be more appropriate? And not you, but her boss? Which sounds like a hag anyway.

And did you ever think that the young pony you were riding wouldn't settle because you couldn't concentrate on anything else but someone watching you? Nice work!

Jeez
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^^THIS^^:mad:
 
Don't think I'd want to be a client on that yard... what an atmosphere, and sounds like the staff are more worried about their own petty little rivalries than the horses. As for the YO - are they auditioning for a part in that new 'Horrible Bosses' film?

Grow up OP, you sound like a brat. I wouldn't want you within a country mile of a horse of mine. Looking after animals take a certain level of maturity IMO.
 
I think you lot are being very harsh!
Op says she's the youngest and that its a summer job suggesting she's school age?
Now if i'm understanding it correctly an older girl has just been given a job and is throwing her weight around and you lot are telling OP act like a grown up - do any of you remember being young?

The law of the jungle is that if someones older and bigger than you that you defer to them, you really expect a young person to have the sophistication to be able to explain to someone older, who acting this way, why they were uncomfortable being watched work a horse or why they'd actually rather groom their own project pony.

OP - some of the advice above is sound. Firstly speak to the boss, being honest doesn't mean being rude provided you stick to facts, if she's criticising peoples horsemanship and parenting skills she needs a quiet word from her employer to explain why its not acceptable behaviour and asking kids if she can ride their ponies when the parents aren't around would bother me.
Your boss should not be nicknaming staff behind their backs, and sharing the 'joke' with the other employees is disgraceful behaviour!!

You could ask her if she needs any help when she looks like she's struggling, and ask her to give you a hand as a way to teach her things she doesn't know.
Bragging about her CV is probably her way of trying to be accepted and prove that she's capable of the job, spend a break time with her and ask her about it, if she admits that she's not had much experience with horses offer to help her with anything if she feels she needs it. Having a 'buddy' to take her under their wing might be the making of her and you might make a new friend in the process. :)
 
I was not harsh at all!

I simply stated that it is unkind to drive anyone away! If the OP is old enough to think like that then she can certainly take some good honest advice. Not harsh at all! She should speak to the girl rather than join in the name calling, or even think it is acceptable to treat others in this way. Treat others as you want to be treated.

She needs to learn this lesson now, rather than go through life expecting to be able to get rid of anyone who irritates you.

The new girl could be acting through nerves, and with all that bitching going on around her is probably picking up on it, so chooses to spend time with the youngsters.

Either way, being unkind is never a reasonable option at any age. If you're old enough to have a job, you're old enough to learn what is acceptable or not.

ETA I also pointed out that as the OP is prob young, the YO is not setting a great example. Therefore she should look inside herself and think about whether she is being fair on this other girl.
 
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So explain kindly that driving someone away isn't the appropriate action and explain what to do instead rather than barking at her to grow up!
And i'm not pointing the finger at you specifically just the tone of this thread in general, people love quoting 'treat others as you'd like to be treated' - but they often do it with a harsh tone completely forgetting to take heed of their own words.

She's young and probably doesn't know how to behave in such a situation, telling her to 'grow up' is akin to telling someone to 'snap out of it' don't tell them what to do, show them how to do it. Children have many lessons to learn, they're not born with the knowledge we have to give it to them. No point telling her off for something she doesn't know!
 
maggiesmum said:
So explain kindly that driving someone away isn't the appropriate action and explain what to do instead rather than barking at her to grow up!
And i'm not pointing the finger at you specifically just the tone of this thread in general, people love quoting 'treat others as you'd like to be treated' - but they often do it with a harsh tone completely forgetting to take heed of their own words.

She's young and probably doesn't know how to behave in such a situation, telling her to 'grow up' is akin to telling someone to 'snap out of it' don't tell them what to do, show them how to do it. Children have many lessons to learn, they're not born with the knowledge we have to give it to them. No point telling her off for something she doesn't know!
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Well if you had taken the time to read my replies, you would see that I did not tell her to grow up! May not be specific to me, but the above is as it was in reply to my post! I always try to be kind in my replies. That is the way I treat people in general.

If you read my posts you would see that I gave her sound advice! I feel this reply is not taking my posts into consideration. You shouldn't accuse all of being harsh when that is not the case. It is unfair.
 
maggiesmum said:
She's young and probably doesn't know how to behave in such a situation, telling her to 'grow up' is akin to telling someone to 'snap out of it' don't tell them what to do, show them how to do it. Children have many lessons to learn, they're not born with the knowledge we have to give it to them. No point telling her off for something she doesn't know!
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So she might be young, but I take it she went to school - where this sort of behaviour is frowed upon, and deemed bullying? Calling people names behind their back, "driving" them out of the 'group?'

And having a boss that treats employees in such a way doesn't bode well for the OP's future IMO!
 
Wow - what a lovely sounding yard (not).

The newcomer clearly is not being welcomed with open arms, so has no choice but to befriend the kids.

The YO is evidently unprofessional - assuming if they really ARE the YO that they actually employed the person who is now being insulted? So not only unprofessional, but a bit on the stupid side as well ...

So - the animals seem to like the girl, the clients seem to like her and the main thing against her is that the OP believes her mucking out isn't up to scratch - and for this she is going to "see her off" ...

Sorry - whoever said that people should go easy on the OP need their heads examined. The OP is trying to get approval to get someone sacked just because the they don't appear to like them. Nothing wrong with their work ethic. She needs to wake up and smell the coffee - and quickly.
 
Ok, looking at the OP's previous thread, it shows she is 16 the same age as my daughter. IMO, she should know right from wrong at that age. Ok, she will still be learning people skills, but being nasty is something she will understand is wrong.

So I will leave this thread now as I have nout more to say.
 
All I can say is...for the OP to actually post this, and not see anything wrong with it..how does she actually conduct herself in real life?? Two words...tolerance and respect. Treat others how you would like to be treated hun. I actually feel a bit sorry for you as your parents don't seem to have given you much guidance or good example in how to think positively and objectively. Concepts which I understood at much younger than 16. Age is no excuse for acting with contempt to anybody.

This yard sounds like it may be run on cheap teenage labour...how old is the 'boss'..19??Where is a responsible , tolerant adult here? As somebody who gives staff insulting nicknames, which incidentally is illegal under employment law, as are all forms of harassment...they need to be made aware of how to be professional, and to treat colleagues fairly.
 
FMM said:
Wow - what a lovely sounding yard (not).
Sorry - whoever said that people should go easy on the OP need their heads examined. The OP is trying to get approval to get someone sacked just because the they don't appear to like them. Nothing wrong with their work ethic. She needs to wake up and smell the coffee - and quickly.
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I didn't say we should go easy on her, I said we should give her advise on how to handle the situation rather than give snotty replies!

As someone else said, we learn from our parents, we also learn from our peers - well clearly the YO isn't encouraging proper behaviour from the staff and the YO is the one doing the name calling!
I don't condone bullying its a disgraceful act usually done by a coward, but 2 wrongs don't make a right and us being heavy handed with the OP will only send her away without taking on board any advice.

Sarah sum1 - I did read your replies which is why I made a point of saying that I wasn't aiming the post at you, I replied to points you'd made yes but was talking about the thread in general. I'm sorry that you read it differently than how it was intended.

Maybe we have to agree to disagree on this one.
 
maggiesmum said:
I didn't say we should go easy on her, I said we should give her advise on how to handle the situation rather than give snotty replies!

um, yeah you did... ''stop being so harsh''.... ring a bell?

As someone else said, we learn from our parents, we also learn from our peers - well clearly the YO isn't encouraging proper behaviour from the staff and the YO is the one doing the name calling!

and the OP reckons shes the one being hard done by because this girl GROOMED a horse on livery there..wtf?, yes her boss is a dick (and crap at making up nicknames evidently) but that no reason to copy her, shes 16 fgs not a child, she needs to find a bit of integrity.

I don't condone bullying its a disgraceful act usually done by a coward, but 2 wrongs don't make a right and us being heavy handed with the OP will only send her away without taking on board any advice.

i dont see how the girl in question has bullied anyone, by the sounds of it OP and her boss are quite adept at making nasty comments and being oh so judgemental, have you thought maybe that this girl is trying to fit in with what seems to be the norm. Shes working hard and doing her best, who doesnt in a new job? OH! and of course, how dare she groom a horse that A. needed grooming and B. was just left tied up in the yard..god she sounds like a right bitch :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: The OP needs a big reality check, because shes going to find it bloody hard in the real world.
Maybe we have to agree to disagree on this one.
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yeah, we are, because the OP is 16 not 6
 
I have personally worked on a yard where i did not get on with one of the staff we also had to live together and yes it made me feel the need to rant a lot as he was rude, patronising and lazy (and many other things but that's another story) however I never did and did not let it get in the way of my work and my enjoyment of the horses.

At the end of the day there will always be situations like this in life and you can not just drive them away what if it was your superior? You just have to get on with it you just have to be mature take a deep breath and smile, if as you think she is not a nice person then this will put her on the back foot, or if she is as it sound genuinely trying to be helpful (even if it is in a way that you find irritating) then you may find she is actually a very nice misunderstood person. I would advice having a quiet word and telling her what you think she is doing wrong and how better to get along with the staff and asking if she would like a hand mucking out so you can show her how its done at your yard (I tried this with the guy I was working with but he pretended not to understand English temporarily and then shouted and called me an idiot :) oh well). Be the bigger person and others may follow by your good example and then no one will be bullied. If you don't like it suck it up and welcome to the real world :)
 
Some of you are critiscing everything im doing but none of you seem much better, the things i said are just a few of the things she's done. Ive made an effort, but unfortunately none of the older girls did so she now makes snyde comments to everyone. Noone is nasty to her, everyone is actually pretty pleasent. We are all very close and she just feels like an intruder.
 
teamsarazara said:
Some of you are critiscing everything im doing but none of you seem much better, the things i said are just a few of the things she's done. Ive made an effort, but unfortunately none of the older girls did so she now makes snyde comments to everyone. Noone is nasty to her, everyone is actually pretty pleasent. We are all very close and she just feels like an intruder.
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yeah, i can totally see how calling her s.hitler is pretty pleasant.
 
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