Horse acting dangerous with me only - advice needed!

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LittleBurd83

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Hi Everyone,

I am at my wits end and on the verge of selling my horse, so some advice would be greatly appreciated...

I became pregnant back in November and haven't ridden my boy since December.
Since I stopped riding my horse's behaviour has become progressively worse towards me on the ground when I try to lead him anywhere.
Before I was pregnant he was a dream horse. Lovely to ride/load and do practically anything with!

He began striking out with his front legs, rearing up and pulling the lead rope out of my hands. It got so bad that I ended up leaving him out 24/7 as I got scared and lost my confidence.

We ended up moving yards in June and his behaviour initially improved. Then one day in July I was leading him back to his stable and he started to invade my space. I turned around to back him up and he struck out and kicked me in the back of the leg. I decided a lunging lesson would do him good, but he basically spent 20 minutes cantering around me, bucking, rearing and trying to pull away, he did settle eventually but not for long. A few days later I went to take him out to the field and he started to circle around me rearing up and kicking out. I decided at that point to put him into full livery as I was heavily pregnant and it was so dangerous.

I have been getting him ridden by the yard manager 3 x a week for the last 8 weeks who reports he has been a dream to ride and lead etc.
Today I went to ride him for the first time since giving birth 6 weeks ago. (I have been up to see him in the meantime in his field for cuddles and treats etc) he approached the gate as normal but no sooner than we were out of the field he went for me big time! He struck out several times with his front feet and pushed me back into the fence before charging off!

I sought help from the yard manager who caught him but as she began to lead him, he attacked her too. He seemed massively fired up after this incident, calling out and pacing in his stable. Needless to say I didn't get to ride him.

I am going to seek professional help but in the meantime has anyone got any advice or ever had a similar experience? This behaviour is clearly aimed at me as everyone else reports him to be the dream horse and were shocked at his behaviour today.
I just don't know if our relationship is salvageable as it seems like he hates me! :(
 
My horse is naughty in winter when he lacks something that the grazing loses. I'm going to try him on pink powder which contains magnesium which is a good calmer if they are deficient in it. He also chews wood in winter :/ maybe something like that is to blame?
 
Goes without saying that a professional is best, for safety etc.

I'm prepared to have a guess! Doesn't sound like a pain issue, although it might be worth starting there. My gut instinct would be that while pregnant you were worried for the little 'un (totally natural!) and this might have been playing on your mind while you were handling your chap. It's possible that he's picked up on it, and has acted up, which meant you worried more, which meant he acted up more etc. That combined with a change to his routine from what sounded like a very busy life, to a quieter one, might have unsettled him to reconsider your position as chief.

Even though things have moved on, if it's at the back of your mind now (that's he's had a crack at you before) you could be falling back into a repeat. You being worried means that he thinks there's something to worry about, and is questioning whether you as the leader are going to make the right decisions for him. He might think you're not, and will make his own decisions. If you disagree, flight's not really an option, which leaves fight.

I hope you sort it out; I'm sure you will. It's not personal; I don't think horses think about it enough for it to be personal. He's probably not plotting in his stable (but I say probably, because I don't want to commit myself. Who knows what they are up to when we're not looking!). He's just deciding what to do on the spur of the moment. Working with a professional would be great as trust probably needs to be restored on both sides.
 
this could be a completely mental reply, but what is he like around mares? I wonder if he has picked up on your pregnancy - I know with one of my geldings when he was a yearling he was very very intune with my periods and would have absolutely nothing to do with me at certain times of the month, nor would my filly actually. I don't seem to have this problem with any of my other horses, or my filly now she is an adult.
 
SadKen said:
Goes without saying that a professional is best, for safety etc.

I'm prepared to have a guess! Doesn't sound like a pain issue, although it might be worth starting there. My gut instinct would be that while pregnant you were worried for the little 'un (totally natural!) and this might have been playing on your mind while you were handling your chap. It's possible that he's picked up on it, and has acted up, which meant you worried more, which meant he acted up more etc. That combined with a change to his routine from what sounded like a very busy life, to a quieter one, might have unsettled him to reconsider your position as chief.

Even though things have moved on, if it's at the back of your mind now (that's he's had a crack at you before) you could be falling back into a repeat. You being worried means that he thinks there's something to worry about, and is questioning whether you as the leader are going to make the right decisions for him. He might think you're not, and will make his own decisions. If you disagree, flight's not really an option, which leaves fight.

I hope you sort it out; I'm sure you will. It's not personal; I don't think horses think about it enough for it to be personal. He's probably not plotting in his stable (but I say probably, because I don't want to commit myself. Who knows what they are up to when we're not looking!). He's just deciding what to do on the spur of the moment. Working with a professional would be great as trust probably needs to be restored on both sides.
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Agree with this, he has lost some respect for you when you didn't enforce your handling, as expected as mentioned. Do plenty of groundwork and get him respecting you on the ground again, use a dually, etc if necessary and get professional assistance :) good luck
 
He is quite dominant with mares (likes to be the leader) but he has never tried to mount them etc. I did consider this as a reason. He also had dominance issues with my husband who now won't go anywhere near him so technically its not just me.
 
I've been in a similar situation to you, but missing the pregnancy part.

I bought a foal with my sister (who is more confident and stronger physically than me). We still have this horse, she is now a big tough strong 17hh mare.

Unfortunately as a foal this mare sethered her tendon and spent 9 months on box rest, then as she was a yearling we had the job of in-hand leading 4 times a day. As you can imagine she was a very very excited but big baby horse. She got a little over the top when I was walking her and she bucked and kicked me in the process.

I lost my confidence handling her and when she grew up it told. She would often 'attack' me or threaten to when I handled her, she kicked me again, I lost her numerous times and when I went to catch her she would kick out at me and threaten me with her legs.

Still sometimes even now when I try to catch her in the field she will let me know she doesnt want in by turning her bum to me and she knows she has me told!

I was terrified of her but wouldnt dare sell her as the aggression was not something I wanted to pass on to someone else as I had been badly injured by her twice.

So I paid for handling lessons with my riding instructor (I could ride her ok once i'd got her just couldnt handle her on the ground, I had a weekly riding lesson with her as it was).
She is now lead by me in a bridle, pelham and lunge line, and has been for the last 4 years. As such she has never been able to get away from me again.
He taught me how to deal with her, he tried leading her to start with as I was frightened of her, she tried it on and he instantly put her in her place, then we worked on the same thing with me leading her and she learnt to respect me again.
He then taught me how to load her as she had kicked me when I had tried this before. And after all the work and ground lessons I can now take her anywhere on my own, load her and lead her with confidence.

It was a horrid time, I was terrified of her. But in a morning in winter a lad with no horse experience could lead her with a rope round her neck to the field and she was an angel, if I tried to lead her there was hell on!!

I think doing the professional instruction is the best thing, and if they are as good as my instructor they will help you with your horse in the same way. Once they know you are wary of them it seems they take advantage.

I hope you have the same outcome as I did. Some horses just know when we are weak and make the most of it. Good luck x
 
Have u got a round pen u can use?
Cud b u need to remind him ur the one that makes the decisions,

He wants to go nuts running in the pen Thts fine, But make him change direction, any time he goes faster then u want him to. Make him go the other way, Will take a while to sink in but it works
 
I know how you feel. Our warmblood intimidates me, very deliberately. She doesn't have a nasty bone so she has never actually hurt me, but it is quite calculated.

She is an angel for my 85 year old uncle and respects my daughter, but me, no chance. I've never been confident with her and she knows it.

She has got a little better over the years particularly when she hurt herself and I had to deal with it. As I become more confident she gets better but it doesn't take much to set us back again.

Bottom line is that if she were mine and not my daughters I would not have kept her. Horses are supposed to be fun and mine are pets, I might feel differently if I wanted to compete.
 
I don't believe it to be medically related as its really just bad behaviour aimed at me. I would never have expected my horse to act so awful! It's like someone has secretly swapped my dream boy for a nightmare!
 
dont know if this helps but we took in a mare in very poor condition last year. My kids were having no trouble but we had constant battles. It got to the stage that we were having serious problems till it clicked that it was only me she was like it with. i stopped handling her and left the kids to it and hey ho no more problems (kids are 13 and 15 mare is 13hh) . She used to turn on me if I touched her at all. She has settled down now and I can do whatever needs doing with her but no idea why she was so nasty to me.
 
He must have sensed your vulnerability when you were pregnant, either through the vibes you were giving him or through some sort of pheromones and things!

My loan horse went through a short phase of biting, barging and striking out at me on the ground especially when lunging or leading! Ridden he was fine! I know it was because there had been some sort of power shift and he was testing my leadership skills. He was living out alone 24/7 and I think he had started to go with fight over flight :-/ he was also regularly visited by schoolchildren who he could obviously dominate easily.

I was just really tough with him for a while and did groundwork exercises, not necessarily formal style but just getting him to go back, over, moving him on around the field when I wanted (walking at him waving my arms basically!), sending him away if he approached me as he was biting at that stage, and using very firm voice and shouting firmly if he did anything nasty or bolshy, if he bit me I would give him a smack as it was getting nasty.

He would sometimes rear up and strike out at me if I tried to lunge him, and generally walk at me pawing and refuse to go out, so I tried to my best to stand my ground and step towards him within reason (as long as no hooves were in range) so I am quite familiar with what you are describing, and when my friend came along he was nice as pie! He's stopped now and the balance is restored, I just stood my ground (and moved him near friends who can pick on over the fence instead of me!). If he gets a bit big for his boots now I correct him and won't be letting it get that way again even though he is out of work currently!
 
I agree that this is probably because of the changes both physical and mentally that you were going through and he started to test the boundaries.

I do not care if it is a pain issue the behaviour is downright dangerous.

I would A) Wear gloves
B) Wear a hat
c) Carry a length of blue hose pipe
D) Use a control halter and a long rope.

When he strikes out with his front feet then you whack him across the legs with the hose. If he rears then you whack him across the back legs (attacking his only security)
If he did the same lungeing then he would get the whip across his front legs (if he was coming towards me) or across his backside if he was just not moving forward.

You can look at the 'pain' issue but chances are the only pain there is that he is taking control and being a pain in the arse!

99% of the time horses like this need to realise that if you try to hurt me than I will hurt you more.
 
Foxhunter49 said:
I agree that this is probably because of the changes both physical and mentally that you were going through and he started to test the boundaries.

I do not care if it is a pain issue the behaviour is downright dangerous.

I would A) Wear gloves
B) Wear a hat
c) Carry a length of blue hose pipe
D) Use a control halter and a long rope.

When he strikes out with his front feet then you whack him across the legs with the hose. If he rears then you whack him across the back legs (attacking his only security)
If he did the same lungeing then he would get the whip across his front legs (if he was coming towards me) or across his backside if he was just not moving forward.

You can look at the 'pain' issue but chances are the only pain there is that he is taking control and being a pain in the arse!

99% of the time horses like this need to realise that if you try to hurt me than I will hurt you more.
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So you would fight violence with more violence? What happens when you run out of tools and the horse is still bigger and stronger than you are?

Please, OP, do not go this route, you need to rebuild the relationship with your horse, not destroy any last part of it.

I think it is all to do with your hormones, pheromones and your instinctual desire to protect your unborn child. He may actually be frightened that you are not the confident person that you used to be and this, sadly, is how he copes with his fear.

I also think a professional is needed. Someone who will work quietly and calmly with the two of you and not try to escalate the violence and intimidate your horse.
 
Foxhunter49 said:
I agree that this is probably because of the changes both physical and mentally that you were going through and he started to test the boundaries.

I do not care if it is a pain issue the behaviour is downright dangerous.

I would A) Wear gloves
B) Wear a hat
c) Carry a length of blue hose pipe
D) Use a control halter and a long rope.

When he strikes out with his front feet then you whack him across the legs with the hose. If he rears then you whack him across the back legs (attacking his only security)
If he did the same lungeing then he would get the whip across his front legs (if he was coming towards me) or across his backside if he was just not moving forward.

You can look at the 'pain' issue but chances are the only pain there is that he is taking control and being a pain in the arse!

99% of the time horses like this need to realise that if you try to hurt me than I will hurt you more.
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OMG thats scary-op please dont do this.

you said he went for yard owner, so its not only you, one at our yard started doing this sort of thing whenever his adrenaline levels rose, they had had him 7yrs and it was very out of character it progressed over time until he was fitted with a rider on board they had him PTS and the vet autopsied he had a brain tumour. i would want to check for my own safety
 
I suspect your confidence around horses has been knocked since pregnancy and birth. And horses are very good at picking up on this, with some taking advantage big time.

So deep breath and start to get some consistency and management back in this horses life, with you at the helm.

If you can't do that get YM to sell him for you.
 
Foxhunter49 said:
I agree that this is probably because of the changes both physical and mentally that you were going through and he started to test the boundaries.

I do not care if it is a pain issue the behaviour is downright dangerous.

I would A) Wear gloves
B) Wear a hat
c) Carry a length of blue hose pipe
D) Use a control halter and a long rope.

When he strikes out with his front feet then you whack him across the legs with the hose. If he rears then you whack him across the back legs (attacking his only security)
If he did the same lungeing then he would get the whip across his front legs (if he was coming towards me) or across his backside if he was just not moving forward.

You can look at the 'pain' issue but chances are the only pain there is that he is taking control and being a pain in the arse!

99% of the time horses like this need to realise that if you try to hurt me than I will hurt you more.
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I can't believe anyone would recommend this approach! You will never win a physical fight with a horse, but you WILL do a hell of a lot more damage to his trust in his owner and also very possibly to the owner themselves!

Please work on a relationship with him without this level of violence. By all means take him in the school and make him work, if he raises his legs, move him on and make him work more - but hitting never solved anything.

You are trying to mend a relationship, not break him. It sounds as though he only went up on the yard manager when already upset - yet at all other times he has been fine. I think you need to really muster up your body language when you go in to him, talk to him nicely but firmly and growl the minute he starts to show any negative behaviour....even if you get the yard manager to lead him into the school first, you then take over and get him working and listening to you.
 
He's attacked other people, not just you, so even if your pregnancy has aggravated things, this isn't entirely down to that.
When previously easy horses change this drastically there's going to be a reason. Horses don't just wake up one morning and say to themselves "Right, today I'm going to establish my dominance over humans by starting to attack them. That will show them who's boss". One other explanation is that something way back down the line somewhere could have triggered fear-based aggression. Horses don't always attack because they are being "dominant" (dangerous assumptions attached to that word).
People here might be able to recommend a good trainer local to you who you could contact for some advice. Someone who will look not just at how your horse is behaving, but the wider context, and then see if they can help.
When people talk about physically attacking a horse in response to this sort of behaviour I'm reminded of something a friend told me once. He's quite physically small but has huge attitude. Was stood at a bus stop one night when a bloke leapt out of his car and started giving him grief about a woman, and said he was going to beat him up. My friend stood his ground, squared up and said "If you're going to hit me you'd better make sure I can't get back up. Because if I can I'll kill you". Other bloke got back into his car and drove off.
 
Agree with Amymay, you were not doubt worried about your baby when around him and not realised it as 1 small fall,trip,knock etc could do damage and still can and you now have the baby still the same thoughts at the back of your mind and the horse has picked up on this and also as you have said you have lost confidence and the horse has also picked up on that. Take time out and have a good think whether you want to keep him or not.
 
I would agree with Ladyinred. My first thought was that he's picked up on your pregnancy hormones, my friend had a gelding that turned really nasty towards her whenever she had her period. Agree with the round pen idea too.
Can you get help from a natural horsemanship/Richard Maxwell type of person? I'd go down that route personally, I took my pony to him a few years ago and can't recommend him enough!
 
Tinypony said:
He's attacked other people, not just you, so even if your pregnancy has aggravated things, this isn't entirely down to that.
When previously easy horses change this drastically there's going to be a reason. Horses don't just wake up one morning and say to themselves "Right, today I'm going to establish my dominance over humans by starting to attack them. That will show them who's boss". One other explanation is that something way back down the line somewhere could have triggered fear-based aggression. Horses don't always attack because they are being "dominant" (dangerous assumptions attached to that word).
People here might be able to recommend a good trainer local to you who you could contact for some advice. Someone who will look not just at how your horse is behaving, but the wider context, and then see if they can help.
When people talk about physically attacking a horse in response to this sort of behaviour I'm reminded of something a friend told me once. He's quite physically small but has huge attitude. Was stood at a bus stop one night when
a bloke leapt out of his car and started giving him grief about a woman, and said he was going to beat him up. My friend stood his ground, squared up and said "If you're going to hit me you'd better make sure I can't get back up. Because if I can I'll kill you". Other bloke got back into his car and drove off.
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Well, thank goodness for this post, I was getting very depressed reading this thread! Do people really believe they have to spend all their time keeping their horse in line just in case the horse detects a chink of weakness and makes a takeover bid? Good lord, why have a horse at all if that's what you believe they're like?

If a horse is being aggressive, as Tinypony says there will be a reason - a good one from the horse's point of view - and since aggression comes in many different forms - fear aggression, redirected aggression, maternal, resource defending... assuming the behaviour is related to "respect" (could someone please tell me the difference between a "respectful" horse and a well trained horse and whether you can have "respect" without training?) or dominance lacks understanding of horse behaviour.

Get a behaviourist out who will be able to look at the horse's behaviour, living arrangements and general management, and advise you on what's triggering the behaviour and how to change it without resorting to aggression yourself.
 
Tinypony said:
He's attacked other people, not just you, so even if your pregnancy has aggravated things, this isn't entirely down to that.
When previously easy horses change this drastically there's going to be a reason. Horses don't just wake up one morning and say to themselves "Right, today I'm going to establish my dominance over humans by starting to attack them. That will show them who's boss". One other explanation is that something way back down the line somewhere could have triggered fear-based aggression. Horses don't always attack because they are being "dominant" (dangerous assumptions attached to that word).
People here might be able to recommend a good trainer local to you who you could contact for some advice. Someone who will look not just at how your horse is behaving, but the wider context, and then see if they can help.
When people talk about physically attacking a horse in response to this sort of behaviour I'm reminded of something a friend told me once. He's quite physically small but has huge attitude. Was stood at a bus stop one night when a bloke leapt out of his car and started giving him grief about a woman, and said he was going to beat him up. My friend stood his ground, squared up and said "If you're going to hit me you'd better make sure I can't get back up. Because if I can I'll kill you". Other bloke got back into his car and drove off.
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^^ Spot on !! Horse's are flight animals - of course they don't turn nasty without a reason. My vet said that 99% of aggressive horses are aggressive due to pain or previous abuse and therefore 'fear aggressive'. Brain tumours in horses are almost as rare as hens teeth so I woulldn't be investigating that either!

You likely have a very sensitive attuned horse who is fearful because you have changed in your confidence during and now after pregnancy.
I don't care what anyone says to the contrary but when a woman has a baby they become much more careful and aware of their mortality - that is natural - you have a child to care for you cannot get injured or die!

Get a good NH trainer out and work with them. I won't bore you with my WB's tale but he was basically extremely aggressive and dangerous and that was due to both chronic pain and fear aggression. He is fine now, but he is still extremely sensitive and he needs his handler's/rider's reassurance and confidence else he will strike out and rear, however not now in a naggressive way.
My advice is to never ever be aggressive back to the horse!! Source and sort the problem, whether it is physical, mental or both.
Good luck OP
 
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Thanks to everyone for your thoughts it's good to get other peoples opinions. I am definitely going to try and rebuild our relationship although it's very true that now I am a mum I do realise my own mortality and I feel much more responsible to stay alive for his sake!
For more background, When it all started he used to be head of his herd which was both mares and Geldings one day without my knowledge a new livery arrived and placed a rig in his field. When I went to take him in for the night he reared up and bolted back to the field trying to get back in, he was so unhappy that a couple of days later I had to move him into another field with two geldings. He became very attached with these two and they all used to play boisterously (he kept getting himself injured!)! He wasnt happy when he was taken in to his stable away from his mates and when I had to keep him in for a week due to a tendon injury, the day I put him out he charged me. I honestly hoped it was down to them and it would stop when we left that yard but clearly it didn't. Horses have brilliant memories!
 
Horses are social animals and their place on the social hierarchy is very important to them -- and fluid. They go up and down the herd social order as horse politics within the herd changes. I'm sure others are right that the horse has reacted to the OPs change of behaviour due to pregnancy/motherhood. A change in that social hierarchy isn't just going to affect the horse's attitude to the OP alone but his relationship to others too.

I bought in a lovely mare that the owner admitted scared her. She'd visit the mare every day, give her treats and cuddles, but was too scared to ride her. She was no problem here except I noticed she had very expressive ears! She'd lay them flat back and LOOK threatening, but never actually DO anything! (I know people like that:D). Then, one day when I was moving the electric fence, she came up behind me to get at fresh grass and sent me flying! I was advised that this was a peck order problem (which I should have known myself, but didn't) and she simply did not respect me, probably because of her previous treatment.

Once I knew that, I greeted threat with threat. No violence but barging was answered with a raised stick (which was never used). If her ears went back, she'd get my rough voice and a raised finger. She now behaves like an angel. I realise that this is nothing compared to the OP's horse, but I believe it is the same thing though on a smaller scale.

The WHW man occasionally pops in for a gossip and he was telling me he was in the mounted police. I was quite amused when he told me that if any officer got bitten or kicked by their horse, they'd be on a charge -- for not recognising the warning signs! There's a moral there.:D

I'd go with the round pen. If he wants to act crazy (short of attacking) for 30 minutes, I'd let him. Then make him do another 30 minutes on my terms. Making him change direction sounds a good idea, plus more on the same lines. Or whatever it takes. The OP might have to have such a session just once. As for Foxhunter's suggestions, well if he is that really bad, I wouldn't rule that out either -- but it would be a very last resort. If a horse (or anything else for that matter) attacks me, I defend myself. Position in the hierarchy is best NOT maintained by force but by generating respect, like the little guy at the bus stop. Just think back to your own school days. Which teacher did you respond to? I'll bet it wasn't the one who dished out the most punishment but possibly the one who looked as if she could if you stepped over the line!
 
This has become a "Catch 22" situation. Animals will pick up things from others animals and humans. The old saying that "the horse can feel anything down the reins" is very true, this being the bridle reins or a lead rope. Body smells ,odours etc. His behaviour all stared when you became pregnant ,change of body odour, worry about the baby etc. This behaviour has continued , so he has got away with it.

Once you have ruled out any physical problems you need to sort out the mental issues.

When handling our stallions I always wear a hat ,wear gloves and carry a schooling whip. The whip is NOT to hit the horse but to make sure that you have your space and it is not invaded by the horse. I put either a bridle, control head collar or a chiffney all with a 12foot lead rope.

I would start with doing some ground work ,making sure you are in control.He goes where you want him to go, do what you want him to do.

If you feel that you yourself can not cope then do get a NH person such as Richard Maxwell etc.

Reading your above post about adding another horse to a herd made me think. Recently we bought a new gelding and he was turned out with the rest (a mixed group) we had no problems, they all sorted themselves out. The new boy had an accident and had to come into the stable, at the same time my little Forester got a foot abscess and had to come in too. Last weekend ( three weeks after the accident) the two were turned out. My Forester and one of the other gelding are buddy buddy's . To start with all seemed fine but now the older gelding keeps going for the younger boy as soon as he goes near to the pony. Hopefully they will sort themselves out ,but it does happen.
 
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If hes had a once over for pain and nedical issues and all is fine then a bit of tough love FROM YOU is required to put him back in his place.

I wouldnt tolerate striking out in ANY form from my horses or any horse I was expected to handle on a daily basis. Its just plain dangerous to let behaviour described keep occuring.
 
I believe that horses know when you are pregnant. Usually they become more gentle, but I have heard at least once of horses becoming more aggressive. What you describe in your horse is a fear response that is manifesting itself as aggression. Personally, I would sell the horse, because I would never trust it again. What if you build up your relationship with him and then decide to have another baby? As he is really nice with other people, I would put him on sales livery and have nothing else to do with him. This may sound harsh, and I'm a real softy when it comes to horses (keep them for life). But if one was repeatedly aggressive with me, it would completely break the bond I had with it. Look upon it this way, your horse is obviously very unhappy whilst around you. Sell him to someone else. I do feel for you. It must be terrible.
 
Op - I don't think you should do anything other than get some help. In this situation I think it would be dangerous to try to follow advice on handling from an internet forum. You need some experienced back up.
Stick him loose in a round pen and stand in the middle? No way!
Start to threaten and hit him with blue pipe? What might he do back?
Just get some recommended help.
I also think that it's easy for us to get too deeply into analysis and trying to guess the causes for behaviour like this, when honestly, we'll never truly know. Maybe it's to do with pregnancy hormones (although your husband wasn't pregnant was he?). Maybe he's a bit fiesty in the field with other horses, but that never made him dangerous for you to handle before did it? Maybe it's a simple as he was mishandled by someone who was covering for you during your pregnancy. Who the heck knows? Nobody. Sometimes it's just time to stop the soul searching and deal with the horse in front of you.
 
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