Horse beater on the yard

No , it was a genuine question !
You were speaking like you knew this girl wouldn't understand a quiet talking to .

Sorry
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JoJo_Eventer -
I think you need to see this 'abuse' with your own eyes before you can do anything .


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I agree. People who have seen her will complain especially after tonight. I dont think I even need to say anything myself.

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Does this girl have lessons at all? if the horse is young and she is getting fustrated because its not perfect (like any are) then maybe she needs telling/showing by someone who she looks up to, someone she respects.

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She has just started getting lessons from the guy on the yard I spoke previously about. The one who stepped in the way to stop her hitting the mare with the bridle. He has spoken to her before and her mother. I think he'll be one of the first to complain to the YO after tonight. I dont think he'll be wanting to teach her again either. Last time her horse refused a 3'6 double and left the lesson getting angry at the horse again. I really wonder how she thinks. Its as if when things go wrong its all the horse's fault so she takes it out on her.

I wouldnt say she beats the sh*t out of the horse. I've heard of far worse abuse but it doesnt make what shes doing ok. She goes too far everytime. And it doesnt seem to be just a one off either like I thought maybe it would be.
 
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Tha behaviour is disgusting!! I'm sorry but being 16 just isnt an excuse, I'm 17 and I get stressed out at times but I would NEVER EVER do anything like that to a horse especially not a baby.
She doesnt deserve that horse if half the stuff that's been said is true. As its been mentioned, the horse will end up ruined and its not the silly cow that will be paying for her idiocy, its the horse.
And her life cant be that bad not saying perfect at all,but she should count her self flippin lucky mummy bought her a horse! Some of us dont have that privalege!
 
Mother is very nice. Not the most horse knowlegable person. At the moment I dont feel its my place to say anything. If I see her myself doing something bad then I would but I do think others have said something. The girl just has no respect for her mother. The horse was not cheap either. Has Arko as its sire according to the passport!

A big shame if the mare is ruined by this girl. I'll still feel bad that the horse cant be taken off her. Hopefully they sell her before much more damage is done. And fingers crossed she'll be asked to leave. I will go mad if anything of mine starts disappearing. Luckily my feed doesnt seem to have gone down just my oil.

Thanks for your help everyone!
 
So she beat/ got cross with her baby horse because it refused a 3'6" jump
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To be honest I'm surprised her horse can jump that high with a rider at that age.

Or am I just being naive as I freely admit I've never brought on a youngster
 
Yes good luck. It is not nice to see. Not saying anyone is perfect and I'm sure there is probably a time I may have been too harsh on my horses in some people's opinion. Although if things aren't going well I have been known to give myself a good wack on the leg (I needed to take it out on someone and it wasn't going to be the horse). This girl needs to grow up.
 
Yes please keep us posted as i am really rather upset by the whole thing. I would never have been allowed a horse if i hit it. Actually when I was a teenager I was too tired to do anything like that as my life consisted of horses, school, lacrosse and the occasional night of fun. I agree you need to see it happening before you question her but maybe be fiendly to her first to get to know her so when u see her flip out you have a relationship first to help you advice her. Keeping everything crossed that all goes ok and hope that the mare is ok. Suspect she will end up being sold as a failure but we all know that the horse will not have been the one to fail!!! hopefully her next home will be better.
 
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The girl just has no respect for her mother. The horse was not cheap either. Has Arko as its sire according to the passport!


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Spoiled. Brat.

Is all i can really say to that.
 
3'6" isn't massive no reason why it couldn't jump it with a GOOD rider. But no, it doesn't sound like she should have a baby, more like an older horse to show her the ropes, seen as she has just come off a pony as well. Parents are going to lose a lot of money on that horse.
 
She sounds like a woman at my old yard - she bought the kids a fab pony but it had COPD. Everytime the mare coughed she scared the children so the mother beat it
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Luckily the kids gave up within weeks and she went to a fab new home
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Has anyone spoken to the mother? There might be a behavioural issue you're not aware of. Not that that would excuse the behaviour in anyway
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Depends Ellies_mum2. if it was with a really experinced rider who wasnt going to let it rush and make it jump it properly and at the ned of a grid then it was prob ok but with a 16 yr old with probably no ground pole or grid in front of it, limited balance and limited experince no it should not have been jumping taht big. Thats probs why it is being eliminated, its lost its confidence being made to go over too big fences. Although that is just wild speculation, or just me reading between the lines. MAybe I watch too many murder mystery's.
 
A couple days after she arrived she was jumping a 4ft spread I think it must have been while I was schooling on the flat. It was getting up towards the top of the wings. I've jumped 3'3 on my mare so far and the spread was scarily high for me! The mare can really jump but just needs bringing on, good schooling etc. I just am in shock everytime im told what shes been doing. Most of the time i'm there at the yard but my stable is on the other side so I have no reason to venture down her side to see what shes up to. I always end up hearing the bad language though!
 
You sound spot on bumble. With a pro rider a 4 yr old can jump round 1.10m happily. But if this girl is just off ponies, horses are a different ball game, especially the young ones. Doesn't sound very patient, horse needs some love and time. Then it is not the first and it won't be the last. I don't agree with buying kids made horses or ponies as a rule. But this sounds like it was a recipie for disaster from the beginning. Maybe the girl will get fed up, then start going out with lads instead of riding. Then said horse will get a break, and hopefully one for the better. But no. people should not have to put up with seeing that happen either.
 
As a long time observer of both people and riders, I have seen this over and over and over again. Also as the dad of a girl who was a stroppy teenager not so very long ago, I know how impossible it can be to communicate with a girl who thinks the whole world is against her.

I do not condone her attitude towards her horse, but I do understand how anger, frustration and a badly bruised ego can rapidly turn to violence. There is probably a high degree of fear in there too.

I would say that the MAN on the yard who stepped in and who offered to teach her is exactly the person to help. My daughter was always able to open up to me, even at times when she hated both her mum and I. She always hated me less and I could usually get sense through, or at least make her think.

I am afraid our modern 'everyone's a winner' and 'it's someone else's fault' culture, added to an inability of many people to take responsibility for their own actions and shortcomings almost inevitably leads to this sort of behaviour. I am also pretty sure that almost anyone trying to help will get abuse and dirty looks, that does not remove the need for both the horse and rider to be helped.

Don't look to the parents, they are probably the people hated more than any other and also the ones who bought the horse.

Failure to do anything is not an option, as in under a year they will be the owners of a very (mentally) damaged horse.
 
I wasn't excusing her behaviour in my post, just trying to sort the cause of the behaviour is more useful than dealing with the result of it if that makes sense? (I know there is a better way of phrasing it)

Just like when a horse is bucking etc, we start looking at causes for the behaviour such as back/saddle/teeth. Just thought I would apply the same thought process to a person for once
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Its more helpful to try and understand things before you jump down someones throat for their behaviour. Like (going off on my white steed called tangent here.....) ivory poachers aren't necessarily cruel - its just one of the only ways out for them to make their lives better. Again, not defending her here, just trying to prevent a HHO witch hunt
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Well with Arko in her genes she should be able to jump. But i dont know why they bought her a horse that talented unless she's going to be the next John Witaker, Doubtful though with that treatment of horses. hmmm I have just realised I am majorly bitching about a girl i don't know to people who have never met me a probably think 'gosh what a horrid Bi*ch' I appologise, I'm nice really! Well i hope I am anyway!! hmm think i will go watvh TV now and not be mean any more. Sorry to subject all you innocents to my meaness.
 
I know plenty of girls who acted like this girl did. And the parents got all kinds of abuse. The parents then felt guilty as it must have been their fault and over compensated. Not saying this is the case here. But it is a downard spiral.

I would however look to the parents. This girl is their responsibility, if THEIR horse is being treated badly it is up to them to sort it out. The parents are the ones to teach a child right from wrong. So ok, it is not always as clear cut as that. But they have got to take responsibility. Parents are usually the ones that get no support, maybe the mother feel she is fighting a loosing battle with this girl. But sometimes tough love is needed. ie, you hurt that horse you loose it.

I was a stroppy teenager not so long ago. But never took it out on my horse. But then my horses are my friends, I guess this girl doesn't see it that way.

I know it is hard to stand by and do nothing. But is it has been said to all concerned before, what else can you do. Let's hope she loose interest.

If it goes up for sale let me know. I would be interested.
 
Dont worry Bumble. I didnt expect many to try to defend her. She said the dealer they bought her from didnt know she was an Arko daughter. Only went they sent the passport away to be registered in their name did they realise.
 
It isn't ivory poaching that is cruel. It is how they hunt and kill them that can be. - Tangent!

Less cocktails for me I think.

But my sentiment is the same - poor horsey doesn't deserve this. No horse does.
 
Hmm an Arko daughter bought from a dealer that didn't know. That sounds dodgy in itself! Who was this dealer? Might go get me a bargin.
 
Lol no idea who the dealer was. I'm sure it would have bumped the price up if they knew.

Must go to bed. Will keep you all updated if anything else drastic happens! And if she goes up for sale i'll let you know. Least everyone here will give her a nicer life.
 
phew long thread, read 1.5 pages then skipped to here
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A few years ago a girl on a yard i was at was like this with her horse, she was about 15 and a general chav and very violent. Her mum was lovely and well meaning but no discipline at all, and daughter spoke to her to horribly you could actually see the pain flicker across her face.

This girl used to beat her horse stupidly. One second she would be ok next she would turn on horse. Hence a very very upset and confused 4 year old (ps its not a black welsh is it?? could be same girl if i didnt know better!!).

Anyway, i couldn't watch and had to have words, i started 'helping out' as i was riding other 'problem' horses there at the time. (however it was such a rearer from her ruining it that i had to slide off more than once before she fell over so i stopped after a few months)

As i was helping though, i was explaining why she was doing what she was. For example when she wouldn't lunge and kept turning in licking and chewing with head lowered (beatings ensued) i explained why she was doing it and how to change body language to help and then she softened, hugged her mare and said 'awww i love u too' ...

she did seem to improve for a time but only when someone was there to point these things out and i wasn't around for long enough so i doubt it was a lasting change... So maybe she needs a consistent and good role model, is there no one she looks upto and would like to learn from there? I know of other teens who have just chosen the wrong role models and have improved when someone they think a lot of thinks badly of them.

Hope that can be of some help x
 
whoops sorry just read the rest...

I would personally try to befriend her, hopefully gaining a bit of respect as far as how i dealt with my own horses and how they behave and you dont have to get angry unlike her. Then you are in a better position to try and 'help' without getting abuse. Personally i think people like that are more often than not uneducated in horse behaviour/ psychology and have found most to respond well once someone they respect tells them nicely about it.

I could not know that was going on so close and do nothing, i know its hard work and lots of responsibility but personally to me it would be worth it to try and stop a horse being ruined. And i also have found it satisfying to know i have helped people love their horses again and treat them with respect.
 
I really think you should leave this to the YO to deal with. It's not your place to try to handle this situation unless you are directly involved in an incident. The YO needs to have a stern conversation with the girl and her parents as this cannot be allowed to go on.

You and the other liveries don't really have a leg to stand on here, but the YO does! She has a better chance of teaching the girl that this is not the way things should be done and that she will get a better response from her horse if she deals with the horse in a more positive manner.
 
There are teenagers very capable of educating youngsters, with the right combination of knowledge, balance, firmness and confidence to 'explain' as they train - but I think they are a minority. And surely only parents with more money than sense (and maybe misguided ambition projected at their spoilt princess) would consider a 4 year old warmblood to be a sensible transition up from a pony, even a sharp one.

The girl's immaturity isn't her fault but spitefulness is, and there's no excuse to take out her temper, and her own incompetence as a trainer, on the poor mare. Perhaps she is actually scared of the horse and thinks bullying it will give her the upper hand. I'm not sure it's a welfare issue - at least not at the level to interest the RSPCA - but it's easy to imagine the horse being a real problem for its next owner as a result of the rude and unkind handling this girl has dished out to it.

It really is for the YO and perhaps the male trainer to speak to the girl's mother and make it absolutely clear that her behaviour is unacceptable to the point of dangerous, that the horse would be better going to a suitable rider sooner rather than later, and there is zero tolerance for any more abuse.

As far as stealing is concerned, I haven't experienced the dynamics of a shared DIY yard but what about some strategically placed notes identifying what belongs to whom, with a polite demand that anyone else keeps their hands off? Even using a marker pen on oil, for example, so it's clear you're monitoring how far it's going down?

What a sorry situation, I do feel for the horse, and the mother is perhaps scared of rocking the boat - angry, spoilt teenagers are truly ghastly creatures.
 
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I couldn't stand by and turn by blind eye, would have to say something!

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Neither could, or would, I ... but then I am a YO so always take ultimate control over situations such as these.
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Report her for animal cruelty if she doesn't stop. Whatever frustrations or otherwise she may be having with her horse beating is not the answer.

People like that don't deserve to have a horse.
 
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