Horse Out of Action & I'm Shocked At How Depressed I feel!?

Elsbells

Elsbells

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I'm getting quite worried and my OH had suggested I see our doctor!

I posted previously how my mare had become cast in her stable and damaged several tendons above, below and on her hock which means she'll be non ridden for a year at least and possibly for ever. We have plans to put her in foal in the spring which in all honesty has been a plan for several years but I have delayed it because I love, love, love riding her and couldn't go without her while she mothered her child!

I'm so surprised how difficult if not impossible I'm finding it emotionally not having a horse to ride and particaly her. Now the shock has passed I'm in a state of mourning I think and I'm crying every day. I can pretend that it's all a bad dream and that I can cope but then she'll trot away and I'm devastated all over again. OH has said get another on loan, put her out to grass but get a horse you can ride. The troubled is its not that easy as I still need to keep an eye on her and take her back to the horsepital for more scans.
I have had several offers of a ride, there are a lot of horses out there that need riders, but I just can't get up the impetus plus as lovely as they maybe And I truly appreciate the offers, they are not her.
Am I being over dramatic? Do I need a kick up the bum?.........should I get a dog and go and do fly ball instead?

Has anyone else felt like me right now and does it get better......please? Any advice, or kicks will be much appreciated by this wimpy idiot!
 
Yes, my girl was lame for a year, had X-rays, scans etc but nothing was found. I lost the will to live even although I have other horses, she is the best fun! I gradually got used to it but it was awful to start with!
 
I haven't been in your position but I was without a horse one winter for 6 weeks (due to a move) and, despite me thinking to would be great to just do my normal job and not have to worry about time and weather, I was completely insane at the end of it. Riding other horses isn't the same but probably worth doing. If you are intending to have a foal, and ride it later on, then you'll need to keep riding until its ready to be ridden.
 
Mine was out of action but initially it was short term, within a week of hearing that he was probably a permanent field ornament I went out and bought another, telling myself if original one came sound I would sell new one. Best thing I ever did, you become so consumed with getting to know new horse you stop obsessively watching the injured one and can relax about it and chuck them out to grass with it being a bonus if they come right.

Still miss riding injured one but realised like you I was getting low with not having anything to ride, in your situation i would buy another or long term loan. If she comes right and you have clicked with new one you can out her in foal if not clicked then go back to riding her.

Also makes buying another easier as you don't really want another so can be quite cold and objective about it (until you get them home, get to know them and fall in luv )
 
Don't think the way you're feeling is especially unusual. As well as worrying about your horse, you're probably missing the endorphins from the exercise, and the structure to your day that you get from having a horse who needs riding.
If you can force yourself to ride something else it would probably do you the world of good. No, it won't be the same as riding your own, but every horse has something to teach you...
 
I think it's quite normal to be fed up when you lose something, like riding your lovely horse. It takes time to acclimatise to your new situation. I would give yourself time and see how you feel in a few months. You have exciting times ahead thinking of putting her in foal I would focus on that.
 
Elsbells, I understand how you feel. My pony came in lame in February this year and after an operation, PRP injections and three courses of steroids is still out of work. Whilst the vet keeps saying that he should be able to be ridden in the future we are at the hand walking twice a day and turnout stage.
I was devastated, and have cried buckets over the months. Kind people at the yard allowed me to ride their horses and it was good to do this, but never the same. I am now fortunate that we have another horse (my husbands) and I ride her, which basically keeps me sane haha.
It iS a grieving process. I basically cope now by assuming he is going to be an 'oversized grass-eating dog' and that anything on top is a bonus.
 
We all get upset when our beloved horse goes lame. I've had 3 in the last 6yr that I have had to retire, I only have one horse at a time so yes it's horrid. A couple of months ago I had to retire another 9yr. She was amazing I cried for a couple of weeks

But then I had to pull myself together and decide what to do. Horses are almost my whole life too.
So i know how hard it is. Your right to a point about pulling yourself together. On the other hand you need to make sure that there is no other reason, is clinical depression that is making you feel like this. Or even are you lacking exercise? After being used to exercise it incredible how much not doing it can effect your mood

I've just bought my first OTTTB she is 4yr old. I'm so hoping she doesn't break
 
soulfull said:
We all get upset when our beloved horse goes lame. I've had 3 in the last 6yr that I have had to retire, I only have one horse at a time so yes it's horrid. A couple of months ago I had to retire another 9yr. She was amazing I cried for a couple of weeks

But then I had to pull myself together and decide what to do. Horses are almost my whole life too.
So i know how hard it is. Your right to a point about pulling yourself together. On the other hand you need to make sure that there is no other reason, is clinical depression that is making you feel like this. Or even are you lacking exercise? After being used to exercise it incredible how much not doing it can effect your mood

I've just bought my first OTTTB she is 4yr old. I'm so hoping she doesn't break
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What a time you've had soulful! It puts me to shame and I admire just how strong you are. I hope your luck has changed and you have a wonderful, injury free future with your new buy.
 
ive felt like this several times. Sold a horse once and was so miserable and sad ,and irritable my husband activley encouraged me to get a new one. More recently my fab mare who is now 23 has had long episodes of lameness so has not been ridden and is now retired. I have coped by going back to having lessons which i have really enjoyed and my plan is to buy in the next few months. I talk and live horses and bore everyone stupid but can completely understand where you are coming from.
 
You just to get on with it .
As one of the nuns in school was fond of saying what can't be cured must be endured my way of dealing with it is always two fold .
Whenever I think about it do something and think about something else .
And get another horse .
You have to endure these knocks with horses because they are fairly frequent .
 
Elsbells said:
What a time you've had soulful! It puts me to shame and I admire just how strong you are. I hope your luck has changed and you have a wonderful, injury free future with your new buy.
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Thank you for the good wishes. I hope so too as both financially and my age means she is my very last hope of EVER having a horse to ride.
You can be strong too, but it also takes practice and determination
 
When my horse was out of action I felt constantly stressed and worried but I wasn't crying every day and refusing other horses/rides because I was thinking of her. I would maybe pop along to the doctor anyway, maybe this was just the catalyst for you.
 
I felt like this a month ago after my boys MRI scans results and diagnosis needing at least 6 months complete rest. Given his previous injuries every year since 2011 I'm not sure I can face doing the rehab back to ridden again. I need to get him sound hopefully and go from there, most likely outcome in my head is retirement.

Yes a month ago I felt like crying most days (had a little cry quite often in my car!) but I'm out the other side now I'm bogged down in the monotony of yet another period of box/paddock rest! I feel much better this month than I did last month :)
 
Yes, and its awful. Went to uni with horse, horse went lame, gave him over 15 months off and started walking out over summer. By then however I'd lost him in the sense of he doesn't feel like my horse any more and so my motivation and joy to be around him had gone and I ended up falling into a dark place. Another year without him to go (last year at uni) and unfortunately my grades and life are now suffering (more issues at home make it worse) but if I don't carry on I'll never go back.
 
I admire your bravery so much! I was about to buy my dream horse after having my baby put to sleep and he got cast the night before he was travelling over ripped all his tendons in his front legs and had to be put down immediately. It broke my heart after all our bad luck! so I know how you feel, I found it good to renew my love of horses and the sport. For me personally I went and watched HOYS Arena UK stuff like that and took me a good 6 months to even think about getting another horse thought I was cursed! Try and do things that remind you how much you love the sport, see if any horsey friends can offer you some rides whilst yours is out.
Also I found trying something new helpful I went and had some vaulting lessons which were amazing!
I admire your strength so much and I wish you the best of luck with your new buy!
 
I suggest you buy a little New Forest youngster, it can be a companion and get your mare in to mare mode, and they r so intelligent it will make you happy. , a well fed youngster can be long reining at two, and popped in to a sulkie, taken downtown for traffic calming and so on.
If you want more of a challenge try an exmoor or a dartmoor.
 
Yep totally know how you feel and its rubbish! Earlier this year my bf of 4 years left me then 2 weeks later my beautiful, talented horse was retired as a very light hack due to a ligament reinjury. The majority of what made me happy was gone in a matter of weeks. You've just got to make a plan you think will make you a bit happier, stick to it and eventually life will get better again :-) I don't like riding other people's horses so I started going climbing and then started looking for a new horse, I've got a fantastic new horse now and my old boy is turned away on retirement livery.
 
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