Horse owners with young families - routines?

noblesteed

noblesteed

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Hi all,
Had my gelding for over 5 years now and love him to bits. We just hack about these days and he lives on a farm 5 minutes from my house where he's on DIY. I managed through last winter with a young baby without any difficulty, working 3 days a week and riding mainly just at weekends. But since my 2nd child was born I am finding things a struggle, timewise and financially. I now have 2 gorgeous little boys under the age of 2. I have sharer who pays just under half of horse's costs and does him several days a week, but it's still expensive and my husband is getting more and more fed up. I am struggling to find any time to ride and I can't see things improving in the near future - especially when the horses come in at night for winter - due to having 2 little ones to feed at teatime, which is when I used to go to the farm. I could go up early mornings but again there are 2 little people who need dressing and feeding.
I knew keeping my horse was going to be a struggle with babies but selling him wasn't really an option when I fell pregnant with my first son for a number of reasons, and after that my husband and I just kept saying 'see how it goes'... if he's sold I'll never get him back... if I loan him out he could come back ruined... So I am seeing how it goes and I am now starting to panic about winter!
So how do other people with young children manage to timetable in their horses???
 
It's a real struggle, isn't it? I also have two little boys (3.5 and 18 months) and a full-time job, so seeing the horse during the week is proving tough. I just about manage an evening or two at the moment but the nights are drawing in and it won't last long. Someone hacks him for me (free) but it feels like I'm paying a lot to keep a horse (quite a long way from home) that I ride about 3 times a week.

It sounds like your second baby is very young still. It does get easier, especially if your husband is supportive, as hopefully he'll be willing to put the boys to bed while you get to the farm.

It probably won't do your horse any harm to have winter off, perhaps with hacks at weekends, and then come back into work in spring when your children are a bit older and more manageable. This is my 'last-resort' option.

Don't know if this applies to you too but I find that if I don't communicate enough, my husband starts to resent things. If I start saying 'oh, just need to go to the yard' or, late at night, 'I'm doing the yard in the morning', it annoys him - I need to give him a timetable in advance and (mostly) stick to it, and he copes better! I'm not always organised enough to actually manage this, though... oops.
 
I know it's hard to find them and it's difficult having someone else ride/look after your horse, but have you looked for a sharer maybe someone at your yard or horsey friends? Even they took the pressure off a couple of days a week and could maybe contribute towards some feed or shoes? Advert in your local tack shops might help? :)
 
i ended up having to loan out, i just couldnt do it all, I worked full time hours over 3 days, had 3 children under 3 and had to put him on full livery as DIY was utterly impossible time wise but full livery was impossible money wise esp as I never got to ride as come the weekend I felt so guilty being away from the family. He went to an amazing loan home locally who were happy for me to ride him whenever I wanted to although I still didnt manage it. he really was a 'niche market' horse and I never thought I would find anyone who wanted him. he was totally unsellable ( health and attitude problems ) and I was panicking I may need to have him PTS. but there are people out there who are brilliant so dont rule out loaning.
 
With a 5 year old and 16 month old twins I have accepted defeat and am now paying someone to school my youngster twice a week and I will hack and potter about at weekends when hubby is home. Luckily mine are at home so i can muck out when the girls are having a nap. Can you pop your boys in the car for a nap whilst you go to the yard?
Horse is hopefully forever horse so I am not stressing about now and just looking forward to pre-school and the future!!
 
I have a 2 1/2 year old and a 4 month old, it's tough!! I have him at home and just sneak out when there is a spare 30 mins and OH is around to keep an eye. This morning I rode at 7.30 am as I'd just fed the baby and OH wasn't in work til later on.
How about having a second sharer (when I was pregnant first time I had 2 horses with two sharers each as well as my big horse who was off). It should help with money, if he's fit and well nothing to stop you having a ride a few imes a week ( 2 ries a day is nothing really) if you don't have time for a few weeks - no problem, then in a few years when you get some free childcare (3 y/o or 2 if you're on certain benefits) you have him there to do more
 
Could he live out 24/7..??? That would cut down on costs and time.
I have one child who is 5 but severely disabled so I could not have mine stabled. I have 2 horses and would not have the time or finances to keep them other than the way I do now. My daughters conditon is very unpredictable so a routine is virtually impossible. I have a fabulous friend whose horse lives with my two and she helps alot with both my boys and my daughter x
 
How many days does your sharer have him? Could you look into getting a second sharer to pay £15 per week for 2 days? so you have him 2 days a week? Fair enough you won't have him to yourself as many days but at least you'd still have him under your ownership and you could still see him weekly. At least until your little ones are a bit older. I know someone who has two sharers who share the week, the owner doesn't ride at all as she has a new one but the horse stays on the same yard where the owner sees him every day and keeps an eye on his welfare. If you decided to full loan him out there can always be an arrangement in a written contract that you see him once a fortnight or something? Many loaners are very understanding and open to the owners seeing their horses whenever they would like, hell, my horses old owner is more than welcome to come to my yard and see him at the drop of a hat.
Like they always say, if you really want something you'll make something work no matter how hard it might be before you get there!
 
I had three kids under 4 and a very supportive OH I found it hard work but doable as long as he did his bit with the kids, I would guess if he isnt a hands on dad it will be harder for you and must be nigh on impossible as a single mum. I got the kids up in the morning and ready for playschool or nursery once they were gone I turned out the ponies and went to work. Cme home at about 3 picked up the kids made tea when OH came in we ate then I went out to the horses while he bathed and put the kids to bed. I was home in time to read a story and say good night I was lucky as our DIY had a floodlit school so rode most nights and was mucked out and home by 7.30 most nights. OH was great and did any housework hoovering and washing up while I did the ponies. I guess it is very hard if you dont have that level of support and I know many men are not that good at sharing the care of their children weekends we did a good muck out and spent the morning with the kids and ponies and went out in the afternoons so the kids didnt miss out on anything and had two full committed parents
 
My friend and I had a very similar discussion the other week, both of us have young families. Having totally stressed herself out on DIY my friend is now on full livery and is finding it so much easier to juggle working full time, child, horse and hubby. I had to move yards and opted to a field with stables five minutes from my house. Well what a difference to my life! I think my stress levels went from off the scale to 0 in two days. Not being dictated a routine by other liveries was just fantastic (and I don't think you realise till your not doing it how much you are), having one horse is very tricky on DIY and even though I've now accumulated another companion horse doing both of them is quicker than the one on DIY! No its not the ideal (I would prefer more facilities), but at this time in my life its the best for all parties!
 
Hi.
I have two kids (5 and 3) and it has just this last month got easier. There were times when we considered getting rid of the horses, but really couldn't do it.

While I didn't have work to juggle, my husband has funny hours (vet) so escaping to the yard was not always possible. I am on a great yard, where most jobs are split (feeds, turnout etc) so I can manage on one trip a day. I tried to coincide the yard trip with nap time, then park the car on the yard.

Exercise for the horses was sometimes just being in the field, and I would have to prioritize some jobs - feeds, hay and water, and a quick muck out or deep litter for example.

Over the summer I spent most dinner times out riding if my husband wasn't on call, so I would get dinner ready, then dish up for husband and kids then leave them to it. I would get home in time to give bedtime cuddles.

It is hard, but it is not forever. I figured out that one of my horses hadn't been ridden by me in about a year!
 
The only way i manage with kids, work and horses is having the horses living out 24/7 365 so i only have to go down once a day at a time that suits instead of having to panik about being down at certain times on the dot. Its also cheaper and mine all prefer to be out anyway although i have to admit i also find i have no time to ride since baby 2 came along and im almost relieved one of my horses will be out of work all winter with an injury because its one less to worry about riding! :( would grass livery be an option for you?
 
Different situation, but my friend and I loan our horse between us. We are both single mums with boys aged 5-8. I am self employed so flexible to a point and friend does shift work, but we manage between us to get up at least twice a day, and ride maybe 5/7. He is on DIY. It is much easier to fit riding in during term time ;)
 
Hippona you have hit the nail on the head I think! My husband DID help a lot when we just had just 1 child but at the moment he panics when he's left with the new baby as well... I expect he will get better but EVERY time I want him to have them both he gives some sort of moan... SO I guess he's a huge part of the problem!
I have a sharer, she's pretty good and most weeks can do 5 days a week. The yard is very small (5 horses) and everyone helps each other so I don't have to worry about doing turn-outs or bring-ins, it tends to work that whoever gets the first one in gets them all in. There isn't an all weather arena though which means once the dark nights come sharer and I will be fighting over weekends! Hopefully I can get some childcare sorted midweek so I can get a ride though...
If push came to shove I am pretty certain my horse would do ok living out so that is the last resort... Then one day when I am back at work and kids are at school we can afford somewhere with a bit of land and horses galore... I can dream...
 
I would if poss put on grass livery and hang on in thete for a couple of years till youre little ones are older and pressure is off and then maybe look at diy livery again. as they get older you may find youre little ones love going to see horse with you -playing in mud,puddles,running around even eating worms:) great children pasttimes so could be a great and cherished times for you all.But it does get easier honest. :)
 
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