Horse ownership unbearable

pistolpete

pistolpete

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I’m struggling so much. Every yard I’ve been on has had problems that have led to me moving in. 13 yards in 15 years! I don’t think I’m unreasonable. My current situation is literally just a field and even that is becoming impossible as I’m not allowed to restrict my retired hardy native at all! Not what I was leading to believe when I went there. Pony up for rehoming if anyone wants a fat opinionated lame highland! Sorry what?? No takers!!
 
It can be a really difficult situation, so have a hug. But horse ownership is supposed to largely for enjoyment. If it's really and truly 'unbearable' there is no shame or blame in PTS a retired horse.

Grass livery with a native that can't be ridden is always going to be tricky, I think.

If you want to persevere, can he go onto a partially stabled set up, so that you can limit his grazing that way? Or a track system (although I don't think they are often the be all and end all they can be made out to be) might be an option?

13 yards in 15 years does sound a lot of moving though (I've moved a fair bit at periods, so no judgement) - I'd be looking for the 'Why?' so many moves. Is he not settled at most of these yards? If he's not been settled, there might be an argument of how much is he enjoying retirement (orcis pain free as pain can make the most even tempered of horse's sharp, grumpy and on edge) and I think would make a stronger argument for PTS. Or is it a case you wanting something different?

Unless you've been asked to move, I've been quite strongly tempted to move in the past but I've also often been glad I've let it play out a bit and with some time/distance/perspective either stayed more happily or found something more suitable when it wasn't a knee jerk reaction.
 
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It’s interesting, I was browsing FB page of Monshall Horse Retirement Livery.

Always good to have field herd retirement options.

Huge grassy fields, no mud (shown), lots of hay in feeders. Lots of happy horses. Loads of photos. Looks amazing.

But some look VERY fat. Incredibly fat in some photos. Which must be a health risk!

Dunno if at some point people are saying, got to go in some way or other & throwing caution to the wind to have some happy years living in a herd unrestricted.
 
Fieldlife said:
It’s interesting, I was browsing FB page of Monshall Horse Retirement Livery.

Always good to have field herd retirement options.

Huge grassy fields, no mud (shown), lots of hay in feeders. Lots of happy horses. Loads of photos. Looks amazing.

But some look VERY fat. Incredibly fat in some photos. Which must be a health risk!

Dunno if at some point people are saying, got to go in some way or other & throwing caution to the wind to have some happy years living in a herd unrestricted.
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I think people do throw caution to the wind a bit re. if they can't manage that lifestyle as a retiree they'd rather PTS if there's an issue/lami than a life of restriction. I slightly had that view myself but when it came to it there was enough quidding going on that actually for the first time in his life throwing caution to the wind was ok despite him being metabolic too.

I do remember speaking to GG about it regarding her retired herd/livery and she'd found that the good doers actually did well as the herd moved about so much.
 
ester said:
I think people do throw caution to the wind a bit re. if they can't manage that lifestyle as a retiree they'd rather PTS if there's an issue/lami than a life of restriction. I slightly had that view myself but when it came to it there was enough quidding going on that actually for the first time in his life throwing caution to the wind was ok despite him being metabolic too.

I do remember speaking to GG about it regarding her retired herd/livery and she'd found that the good doers actually did well as the herd moved about so much.
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I think my current horse at 17hh and not great do-et be okay but I’d struggle with knowing my horse looked like some in those photos.
 
You ideally need a set up with other Hardy types from what I gather your horses companion has dropped weight so now the needs are different unfortunately it does happen.

Have you tried looking on local Facebook pages?
 
I grew up with my horses at my own place and struggled so much when I had to move away and go on livery. I would check the yard net my requirements but then theyd change something fundamental or the YO would turn out to be mental or other liveries were bullies.

I really sympathyse that you can't find anywhere that meets your needs especially when you were really specific about them. Renting just a field can be better in that situation but probably easier to find somewhere with a stable or that is suitable to use a grazing muzzle.
 
I’ve done 10 yards in roughly 12-13 yrs (11 if we count Rockley… actually 12 if we count time spent at training livery!) and there’s at least 3 “ooops” back & forth moves in there as well!

My record shortest was I think 2 days but deffo a few other rather short ones in there as well. (Generally either new yard lied to me / other goalpost moving, horse won’t settle or ooops horse can’t cope metabolically with this setup and now has LGL)

Unfortunately it could just be that the yard that would best cater to your needs doesn’t actually exist in your area yet which erm isn’t exactly helpful (but I’ve had that happen twice now 😂)

Look in the weird places ie tack shops, preloved etc as well as local FB groups, look up past adverts as well as current ones, put letters through doors of people with land sat there doing nothing or of what look like private yards with more stables than horses. You might just drop lucky. The other option is to send him to retirement or track livery further away for a bit to give you breathing space to find something closer to home?


PS One fat, opinionated, slightly wonky Highland is enough thanks…. God knows the carnage two of them could create together!
 
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pistolpete said:
I’m struggling so much. Every yard I’ve been on has had problems that have led to me moving in. 13 yards in 15 years! I don’t think I’m unreasonable. My current situation is literally just a field and even that is becoming impossible as I’m not allowed to restrict my retired hardy native at all! Not what I was leading to believe when I went there. Pony up for rehoming if anyone wants a fat opinionated lame highland! Sorry what?? No takers
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I really feel your pain. Livery is so awful when it's going wrong and it seems to do that so often. I've also had to make multiple moves over the years because yard owners/managers developed amnesia as soon as I unloaded my horse/pony and were convinced that I'd never mentioned the need for limited grazing, or all day turn out, the presence of sharers or the need for twice daily treatments for health issues. Add in to that the staff member on one new yard who didn't recognise that another livery had colic - she asked me to look at the horse, who was flat out looking at his side - and then asked me "I turn him out?" I've been on a couple of yards for years and others for only a few months - what I call my 'disaster yards'. Some yards start badly and you know that they're not going to improve. Others start well or OK but go downhill, sometimes due to changes of staff or the priorities of the owner/manager. I always ask lots of questions and make it very clear what I need but for some reason they will tell me that everything can be managed. My current yard works really well for my retired pony but I've decided that if for some reason we were asked to leave I would just have him PTS. I really couldn't take the stress of looking for another yard and taking the risk of another move. Re your pony and the need to limit grazing. Is he in a muzzle? My pony can't have limitless grass and I've managed to get him to wear one of the ThinLine muzzles. He's quite happy in it and had lost weight while still being able to be out with the others.
 
Horse ownership is a struggle for me. I do realize that in general it's not the horse, but all of the other extraneous BS.

Being on a livery yard is straight up weird and frustrating at times. Between fellow liveries and ideas/beliefs that the YO has, it can be stressful. Fortunately, I've been able to coexist well enough with other liveries. Current YO does a lot different than I would or other livery yards would, tbh, but it's the "best of" the area.

It's frustrating when others (with good intentions, I'm sure) say to "just move" or go to a yard with x feature, when that doesn't exist or you have to drive over an hour one way to get it. If only it were as easy as "just moving." It is still worth making sure you know all of your options though.

Can you use a muzzle on your good doer? I don't love them, but as a last resort when nothing else is possible to keep the weight off. That and clipping, maybe.

Since 2006 I've been on 9 different yards. Which isn't terrible at all considering most yard moves were due to us moving within or outside of the country. The last move was purely to have an indoor and better access to hacking. Previous yard met our needs at the time, but when I wanted to do more/horse was able to be ridden, I just wanted a bit more. I've managed to leave most on good terms.

All that being said, I am still not sure I'm mentally resilient enough for horse ownership!


As a side note, my phone autocorrected to "horse pawnshop" instead of ownership, which was kind of funny.
 
Boulty said:
I’ve done 10 yards in roughly 12-13 yrs (11 if we count Rockley… actually 12 if we count time spent at training livery!) and there’s at least 3 “ooops” back & forth moves in there as well!

My record shortest was I think 2 days but deffo a few other rather short ones in there as well. (Generally either new yard lied to me / other goalpost moving, horse won’t settle or ooops horse can’t cope metabolically with this setup and now has LGL)
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I’ve counted 9 yards in just over 14 years.

Mostly because facilities changed - arena surface / maintenance, enough access to safe grazing all year round, or access to safe hacking, or quality of care changed.

It is sometimes very stressful.

I’ve given up being happy on part livery. Horse wants to live out (not near my house as surrounded by clay at home). DIY and so I can meet my own standards. Arena 25 minutes hack away.

.
 
That is a lot of yards in a relatively short period of time. I've been on 9 in >25 years, and at least 4 of those were planned to be short term or temporary due to moving around the area.

However, I've had to be very flexible about what I accept to achieve that - I've been on yards with no running water (a bit of a bugger), no arena (annoying with them in work, fine when they aren't!), no storage, no hard standing, having them an impractically long way away (etc). Sometimes what you want just doesn't exist, and you have to compromise on what you want for you, or for your horses, and there's a lot of biting your tongue and getting on with things that aren't ideal.

Most yards I've been on have been managed by people who would work with you, if you work with them. Sometimes that means creative solutions, or compromise. Sometimes you just don't gel, or your views on management are just too far apart to find a happy compromise - but usually you should get an idea of this before you move onto the yard, if you've asked the right questions.

What I'm getting at is, to have moved so often, something is out of step with the options available. The easiest things to adjust are your expectations, but it's probably worth looking at all the imperfect compromises you could pursue before moving again (or, when seeking the next yard). A muzzle strategy is one potential imperfect option, for example.
 
Fieldlife said:
It’s interesting, I was browsing FB page of Monshall Horse Retirement Livery.

Always good to have field herd retirement options.

Huge grassy fields, no mud (shown), lots of hay in feeders. Lots of happy horses. Loads of photos. Looks amazing.

But some look VERY fat. Incredibly fat in some photos. Which must be a health risk!

Dunno if at some point people are saying, got to go in some way or other & throwing caution to the wind to have some happy years living in a herd unrestricted.
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mine are at home and I keep all my horses until they get old and need PTS. That is my attitude, I throw caution to the wind and if they get fat so be it. I don't restrict them. My sec D became like a barrel but lived to 27 without any sign of laminitis.

My view is that they have a good unrestricted life and if trouble strikes I PTS. I wouldn't try to rehab a laminitic. My old lady is 40. Cushings and out all day with her family. Another is around 25 and whilst not cushings is not restricted. For me it is quality of life for them not being in a tiny restricted paddock. They don't appear to have leg problems or lameness so we don't end up PTS for that and most end up PTS with colic.

The riding horses are restricted, off grass etc. whatever it takes.
 
JFTDWS said:
Most yards I've been on have been managed by people who would work with you, if you work with them. Sometimes that means creative solutions, or compromise. Sometimes you just don't gel, or your views on management are just too far apart to find a happy compromise - but usually you should get an idea of this before you move onto the yard, if you've asked the right questions.

What I'm getting at is, to have moved so often, something is out of step with the options available. The easiest things to adjust are your expectations, but it's probably worth looking at all the imperfect compromises you could pursue before moving again (or, when seeking the next yard). A muzzle strategy is one potential imperfect option, for example.
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This is part of it. Being creative, diplomatic, and willing to compromise to some extent is necessary when you're on a livery yard. You have to finesse things a bit.

You learn to be very observant and ask the right questions after awhile. It's mainly the former that's the most valuable because people aren't always honest in their answers.
 
Horse ownership is so strange in that with every other animal/pet you own, you generally have full control over their management/lifestyle. When you aren't allowed a say over what should be basic and fundamental choices which impact your horse's wellbeing, you can feel helpless and hopeless. I almost gave up having horses because there was too much BS from other liveries and yard owners, too many stupid rules which made zero sense, gaslighting that asking for the essentials was unreasonable, treading on eggshells constantly.

I feel for OP, I looked for months within a 1 hour radius of home and could find nothing that met the 5 freedoms. Lots of yards with horse walkers and solariums, but little to no winter turnout. Individual turnout, rye and clover cow pasture, postage stamp sterile paddocks, crap hacking.

Honestly if I think back 20 years ago, it was a lot more common to see horses living out in large herds on a decent amount of acreage all year round, but 2 things have changed. 1, lots of larger yards have closed, developed for housing or been sold off in lots, so these kinds of liveries are less common across the country. And 2, our winters are getting wetter and wetter, so the land isn't able to sustain the number of animals it used to. Livery yards want to protect their small amount of land, even if that means horses being shut in for more than half the day.

I'm sure there are still good yards out there, but they're like a needle in a haystack.
 
I think life is unbearable, there are just too many people squashed together, standing in the way of each others needs. I find it extremely hard to compromise any of my requirements and standards for my horses' optimal comfort and well-being but I managed to be on some really good livery yards for years. You just need an empathetic YM, who is also a horseperson who understands that horses and their owners have very individual needs which should be accommodated as far as possible, even though that often takes a bit of effort and inconvenience. They may be hard to come by, but they're out there and I always appreciated mine.
 
Why not try finding a private person with a horse(s) and offer your horse as a companion - but with all costs paid and help with looking after their horses (holiday and busy day help, especially if you can add say dog walking etc in as well).
Life has got expensive for everyone and I think people who before wouldn’t have looked at it before as don’t want the hassle of someone in their private world might now be tempted? I certainly would! Would a punt on local fb groups and feed merchants etc?
 
Gosh, I’ve only been on 2 yards in 30 years (plus had a few living out at other places at the same time). I’m a long-term stayer.
I think that moving 13 times in 15 years is a bit much and I’d be looking at the reasons why you’ve needed to move that much.
I’ve come to realise that you won’t get a perfect livery, there’s always compromise. My current yard has amazing turnout all year and an on-site farm ride, but the compromise is that off-site hacking requires a negotiating a horrid main road and the stables are pretty dark in summer.
 
paddy555 said:
mine are at home and I keep all my horses until they get old and need PTS. That is my attitude, I throw caution to the wind and if they get fat so be it. I don't restrict them. My sec D became like a barrel but lived to 27 without any sign of laminitis.

My view is that they have a good unrestricted life and if trouble strikes I PTS. I wouldn't try to rehab a laminitic. My old lady is 40. Cushings and out all day with her family. Another is around 25 and whilst not cushings is not restricted. For me it is quality of life for them not being in a tiny restricted paddock. They don't appear to have leg problems or lameness so we don't end up PTS for that and most end up PTS with colic.

The riding horses are restricted, off grass etc. whatever it takes.
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I'd do this. From previous posts he's not a particularly nice horse to have aroundand I'd have PTS a long time ago. But if you don't want to, then you need to be realistic. Why are you keeping him going if his life is going to be muzzles and restricted grazing, just to give him a few more years. Its quality over quantity.

Turn him out with his friends, watch him closely and if he gets lgl then its PTS time. Keeping a retired horse muzzled 24/7 or moving yards when he's happy just to get a few more years doesn't make any sense at all.
 
I'm Dun said:
I'd do this. From previous posts he's not a particularly nice horse to have aroundand I'd have PTS a long time ago. But if you don't want to, then you need to be realistic. Why are you keeping him going if his life is going to be muzzles and restricted grazing, just to give him a few more years. Its quality over quantity.

Turn him out with his friends, watch him closely and if he gets lgl then its PTS time. Keeping a retired horse muzzled 24/7 or moving yards when he's happy just to get a few more years doesn't make any sense at all.
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Makes sense
 
SantaVera said:
Makes sense
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My old boy is out on loan. He hacks out but does nothing resembling work and he runs a bit fat. Both loaner and I are on the same page. Hes had an incredibly hard life and now he gets to enjoy himself. She tacks him up loose so he can say no, doesn't push him if he ever doesn't feel up for it, and he's slightly restricted but only in that shes only got a few acres. If anything happens then its time. Hes not spending his twilight years being pushed work wise, or in a tiny barren paddock, and he's not wearing a muzzle as he hates them. If he only has another day then so be it, as it stands he's a year into this regime and happy as larry, so we just play it by ear.
 
My boy has EMS. He's happily living out at grass with hay available all year round.when the laminitis app goes into orange or red I keep him and his companion in a half acre paddock with haynets, and straw to eat so they don't get too fatethey can stroll around picking at a bit of grass enjoying life. No way would I contemplate muzzeling and severe restriction of food intake on a permanent basis. Fortunately my horses are at home but PTS would be kinder IMO rather than giving them a miserable life.
 
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