Horse personalities

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Billyboo

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I've recently purchased a young horse and I find we just don't "click". After 3 months I find I just don't love him as awful as that sound. It's weird, every now and again a horse comes along that I just don't seem to work with. maybe our personalitys clash. others i feel an instant bond. So I was wondering if others have ever had this problem. What temperament in a horse are you drawn to? What type of personality do you find you can't connect with?
 
Billyboo said:
I've recently purchased a young horse and I find we just don't "click". After 3 months I find I just don't love him as awful as that sound. It's weird, every now and again a horse comes along that I just don't seem to work with. maybe our personalitys clash. others i feel an instant bond. So I was wondering if others have ever had this problem. What temperament in a horse are you drawn to? What type of personality do you find you can't connect with?
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Why do you have to "love" the horse? I've had ones I've hated but still had a working relationship with. I'm not sure I "love" my current mare. She's an absolute cow. We seem to communicate well as a partnership though and I wouldn't wish ill upon her. I could sell her tomorrow. I have another one who is so sweet she melts everyone's heart, but she's just not my cup of tea. I've definitely bonded with other horses though, recently with a gorgeous 2yo but out of my price range and you have to let it go.
 
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tallyho! said:
Why do you have to "love" the horse? I've had ones I've hated but still had a working relationship with. I'm not sure I "love" my current mare. She's an absolute cow. We seem to communicate well as a partnership though and I wouldn't wish ill upon her. I could sell her tomorrow. I have another one who is so sweet she melts everyone's heart, but she's just not my cup of tea. I've definitely bonded with other horses though, recently with a gorgeous 2yo but out of my price range and you have to let it go.
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Because if I am spending £500+ a month on something I need to love them and them to make me happy, not just to tolerate the partnership!! :D

I love a horse that wants to be around people, as my current one does. He is a little cheeky but not a bad bone in his body and most importantly can be trusted!!
I don't really get along with horses that are aloof, and always ears back unhappy. I like to have a cuddle and a mutual groom at the end of a rubbish day at work. Each to their own, but that's just me. Perhaps if the horse was a showjumper, or something of use at a high level I would feel differently.
 
I was like this with my last horse. I liked him as a person but as a partnership we just didn't work as he was stubborn and arrogant and had no qualms about throwing all his toys out of the pram if he didn't want to do something. It was frustrating as he had so much potential but was inconsistent with it so you never knew what kind of ride you'd have. I sold him in the end and his new owner adores him, which just goes to show it's horses for courses really.

My new girl in contrast is just the sweetest thing ever and so genuine. I remember her falling asleep with her head in my arms at the viewing and not wanting to say goodbye. I think I was smitten from that moment and no matter what she'll be with me for life now.
 
I didn't fall in love with my boy for the first 3-4 months. He was a solid, sane, sensible rock of a horse but as a hunter he had little personality and his manners were so amazing it was just pretty dull and boring to be honest!
I went on holiday for two weeks and I found myself really missing him, then I found myself showing his picture to anyone and everyone who would care to be polite enough to look and by the end of the holiday I was crazy missing him and it seems the feeling was mutual when I returned home and his little face lit up when he saw me .... That was it really, I was in love and I love him to his gorgeous solid, sane and sensible bones now and every day. He has a wonderful character now he's been allowed to shine and he is game for everything and pretty damn perfect. I wouldn't swap him for the world :D

Give it a little more time. For me absence made the heart grow fonder. Perhaps you will have a moment but if he ticks all the boxes then just wait and see how your bond developes.
 
I completely get this thread!

I've only ever clicked with three horses in my 20 years of riding. My mare that I had 15 years ago (She had to be sold through redundancy) and my mare now.

I've had THE perfect horse when I was 18 who I had for 4 years. He was fantastic and safe but I just didn't love him or click so I wasn't upset when I sold him.

On a contrast, I also had my youngster from 4 months until 4 but we hated each other. He was evil reincarnate. But I loved the bones off him. He was like my baby. He used to bite, kick, buck until you were off his back. You name it he did it.

The mare I had when I was younger was feisty, loved people, hated other horses. She used to be called the "wild one" at shows. Loved jumping and would jump her little heart out. Didn't like change or the colour yellow! I had some amazing times with that pony. She taught me how to stay on!

My mare now I've had for about 2 years. She is probably the one horse since my first one that I've truly clicked with. She is an anxious horse but always tries her best to please you no matter how scary the situation. She looks after me and I look after her. She is my girl and I love her to bits. She's not a boring ride but she is safe. She doesn't like change much and raids my pockets for treats every day. She's a bit quirky but my mum said that's why we are suited. She's my little speed rocket... Only 14.3 and beats the majority of ex racers in a gallop race around here. She is the most spoilt little thing on this planet!

I've had over 15 horses in my life but these three are the ones that stick out to me as having a proper bond with.
 
I was exactly the same with my previous boy...in the end I sold him and I don't think I've ever been so relieved!!!
I have a horse on loan at the moment, a MW cob type 15.3hh 13 year old MARE....I just don't "do" mares. BUT she is lovely and we get on incredibly well , she's affectionate but not cuddly like all my boys have been.
I may be buying this girl in the future. I really really like her and I think once she is properly mine I will even love her (I'm a bit standoff ish with her just now due to not wanting to get overly attached).
I tried hard with the previous horse I really did but I will never again keep a horse I feel nothing for.
 
I think you need to give it another couple of months but completely get where you are coming from. My first mare was an affectionate cuddly mare to handle but it took literally years to have a good riding relationship with her and i spent many an afternoon crying in the car after a failure of a ride BUT she taught me so much and i loved her so much that even now i am welling up at the thought of her. My second mare i only had for a short time, her life had been hard and i had her pts knowing her last year with me she was loved and happy. She was so different to millie, hated anything but the most basic handling, was field dominant but she was a saint to ride . I didn't think she even 'liked'me till i came back from a holiday and she wickered when i came on to the yard. I now have a lovely little mare who's everything i could wish for both affectionate and sane and fun to ride. we have'bonded' straight away and i love the bones of her already and i am scared at the thought of losing her . Yes they all have different personalities same as we do so some relationships can be instant, some slow burners and some are just not going to ever work ( i couldn't get on with my share horse at all) but you have to give it a little time first i think to be sure. I don't know what i would do if i owned one that i didn't adore, thankfully i have never had to make that decision
 
When I said I don't love him, I really meant I don't like him at all. He has the movement, the looks, the potential and on paper he seems perfect but our personalities clash. In saying this Most people think he's a lovely horse. I think of them as people, some you like, some you don't. I know it hasn't been long and I am not going to be selling him but I just wanted to know whether any one has had this sort of experience. I tend to get on better with more social horses that are uncomplicated and you always know what's going through their heads. I don't mind cheeky and clever but not spooky and silly. I will just keep going with him and see where it takes us but he's not the sort of horse I would trust.
 
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Not really wanting to get too far into this but it can be better not to have a strong bond with your horse because when it comes to needing to sell him or even worse PTS everything is so much harder.
 
Hmm I think what people look for in a horses temperament and personality vary. Personally I like a friendly animal, a 'people horse' if you know what I mean. I know others wouldn't like this at all! Others would be on the other end of the scale and want a horse that does its job and doesn't seek out the affection that friendlier horses might.

In terms of your bond with this horse, you will find some you just don't click with. I'm on a small yard of 4 horses, I have a great bond with mine, and the other 3 (despite me handling them a lot) I'm just not bothered about, I am indifferent in my feelings for them.

Bonds can take ages to build, I'd say I took the best part of 9 months to really get to know my pony. If you find after a while that the bond just isn't there and you don't click, and therefore you're not achieving your riding goals, then perhaps it would be sensible to consider a different horse. But if the horse is doing its job and you're happy on that front then maybe you need to decide whether the bond is really important to you, and decide from there?
 
I like friendly but fiesty types, I love a good project and a bit of a battle! I don't honestly feel I have strong 'bond' with my mare, she is very affectionate but so well behaved at all times it does kind of take the fun out of it but she ticked every box when I was looking to buy so I went with my head for the first time ever and I was right to, she has certainly given me my confidence back and is a perfect mother/daughter/whole family type and can turn her hoof to anything, she is pretty god dam perfect TBH. The rest of them have they're little quirks and keep me on my toes and I'm always more drawn to them first for giving cuddles and attention.

I no longer believe you need to have a 'bond' with an animal just a mutaual respect and understanding
 
As a fun rider i view my horses as pets as well as riding animals. I'm not a professional, I have no axe to grind, I have no huge competition aims. What I want to so is enjoy being with my animals and enjoy my riding. Part of enjoying them is building that relationship or "bond" with them. By bond i am not being mystical and strange, I am talking about understanding their needs and characters and getting the best out of them i can. I do not see the point of having an animal that takes that amount of time, energy and money if it doesn't make you really happy when your with it and make your heart skip a beat when you see it. I'm not saying there are not other ways and that having a more business type relationship is wrong, its not, its just not what I want. I have rehomed the horse in my avatar because i was not happy with the riding side of our relationship. He remains mine and i still adore him but he is better off with someone else. My new horse Kev, is just a star and everything I could have hoped for, he just makes me smile all the time!
 
It is important to have a horse you really like when you're a one horse owner, I think. I "replaced" my last horse horse with one exactly the same spec as my previous horse when purchased (14.2ish, 4 year old, deep bodied, performance lines, nicely marked, attractive arab gelding) just in a different colour, but they're very different. Miyaz was entirely genuine, kind, safe, wussy (in the nicest possible way) and very, very biddable and easy to boss into doing anything he didn't fancy. I thought he was perfect because he was so good and easy. My new horse is a demon by comparison, but then anything else was always going to be. He's straightforward within his comfort zone but if asked to leave it then he's first to start the battle about whether it happens or not and he's a determined little monkey. I think he's perfect because he reminds me of Flame, once we get on the same side he's going to have the strength of character to get places and he makes me respect him which is good for me because I always felt like I was exploiting Miyaz's obligingness, if that makes any sense? Arabs are awesome, all of them :)
 
Life is too short. Horse deserves a loving home and you deserve a horse you love. Sell and buy something that grabs your heart.

I have sold a few, one particularly I didn't click with. Nothing wrong with him, or me, just didn't get on with him!

My boy I have now I would swim across the world for. And I think provided I had some carrots he would do the same for me lol.
 
I had exactly the same scenario with my ID/TB. He was meant to have been six when I bought him but the vet at the vetting said he was more like four. He was to 'replace' by previous horse a Grade B SJ. I guess it was my haste at buying him due to feeling bereft at the loss of my previous horse but it was the worst thing I could have done. I never gelled with him. He wasn't very well schooled and wasn't forwards at all. I ended up bribing him, smacking him, giving him oats, using spurs. He would gallop and jump XC for England but was totally uninterested in SJ or dressage and used to go everywhere at a snails pace, although bucking, rearing and napping too. I'm guessing he had problems - back, legs, who knows, but I didn't realize at the time.

It was a case of me buying the wrong horse rather than him being useless as he was a poppet in other respects although he was very bargey but I managed to stop him from doing that after a while.

I wanted to sell him and Mum kept asking me to wait until the spring of the following year as horses don't sell so well in the winter, and I think she was hoping I would grow to love him and get on with him. Looking back now, and knowing so much more than I did now, I cringe about the things I have written above, but I was naïve and stupid.

He ended up getting kicked by another horse (the vet suspected) and broke his leg in front of my friend who was in the field trying to catch her horse at the time. Luckily help was summoned quickly and he was PTS, I got to the yard a minute before the vet. Very sad. Yet strangely I was more upset about his death (had to be shot twice -incompetent vet) than I was about the fact he was gone.

Now after all these years, I can cry genuine tears over Mickey who I feel I let down in a big way through lack of experience and wanting a ready made SJ.

I would never make the same mistake again. Buying in haste to replace a lost loved one is a stupid thing to do. And having expectations of a horse before you have even bought it is so very sad. Strangely I am seeing the same scenario played out with another horse that I know, the owner is struggling so much with the horse and my head is screaming out 'the horse isn't being naughty its in pain' but I am powerless to do anything.
 
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AShetlandBitMeOnce said:
Because if I am spending £500+ a month on something I need to love them and them to make me happy, not just to tolerate the partnership!! :D

I love a horse that wants to be around people, as my current one does. He is a little cheeky but not a bad bone in his body and most importantly can be trusted!!
I don't really get along with horses that are aloof, and always ears back unhappy. I like to have a cuddle and a mutual groom at the end of a rubbish day at work. Each to their own, but that's just me. Perhaps if the horse was a showjumper, or something of use at a high level I would feel differently.
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I wasn't trying to be personal, or rude towards you. Sorry if it came across that way. My post was a general one and there are many "tolerated partnerships" that do very well out there.

As for £500+ a month :O that is quite something.
 
AShetlandBitMeOnce said:
I don't really get along with horses that are aloof, and always ears back unhappy. I like to have a cuddle and a mutual groom at the end of a rubbish day at work. Each to their own, but that's just me. Perhaps if the horse was a showjumper, or something of use at a high level I would feel differently.
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I bought my horse when he was 10. It was a good 3-4 years until he showed me any affection (and I'm a 100% diy owner). He has always been the herd leader and quite aloof - although he seems to love kids for some reason. I'm glad to say that now he seems genuinely pleased to see me. We play games which mostly involve mock violence. He pretends to bite me and I pretend to roundhouse karate kick him. No pain is ever inflicted. I swear he finds this enormous fun. He even kind of "laughs"! I always let him win, and as long as there are no other horses watching, I'm allowed a cuddle. He even rests his very very heavy head on my shoulder. Terrible anthropomorphism I know.
 
tallyho! said:
I wasn't trying to be personal, or rude towards you. Sorry if it came across that way. My post was a general one and there are many "tolerated partnerships" that do very well out there.

As for £500+ a month :O that is quite something.
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I can see both sides of the coin there. I can see yours very well, its what the relationship would be between my horse and a professional rider if I did sell him to this guy (never gonna happen). My horse does not like this guy, but will do what he is told to an extent. The professional rider could get so much more out of him than I can, but it wouldnt be an easy relationship. It would be a working one and there would be no love there. I would imagine my horse would try throwing him off a lot.

But for me, I am more like AShetlandBitMeOnce, I like there to be some love in the partnership. I will never be a professional rider, and will probably never ride my horse to his full ability. But he is improving me as we go on and yeah its taking time thanks to my stubborn mind refusing to let go of insecurities, but we are getting there. I like to think I am improving him but probably not. :P
 
I have ridden some horses that I didn't really feel anything for. We just trained together. I still cared about their well being of course, I just hopped on and got on with things. That didn't last very long.
I, personally need to feel a bond with my horse. I want them to WANT to spend time with me and vice versa. Otherwise I don't feel I am giving the horse 100% (and sometimes the horse won't either). I clicked immediately with my boy. And that was when I was his saddler 2 years ago!

tallyho! said:
As for £500+ a month :O that is quite something.
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NEVER keep a horse on the London/Surrey borders! With livery, shoes, insurance etc it's costing my over £650 a month. Luckily PRE's are good doers! :D
 
I totally get this too, I bought a big wussy warm blood and did very well competitively with him, but found on the ground I really didn't like him much as a person. He was quite aloof, spent his life worrying about everything, and I just didn't have the patience for him.

I had him for three months before part exchanging him with a friend who was finding my current horse's cheeky ways under saddle rather too much.

I knew from day one that this one would suit me, he's got a big personality, into everything, but a friendly laid back character. We have our own silly games and get on very well both on the ground and under saddle. He makes me laugh every single day and I love the time I spend with him.

The warm blood was also very well suited to my friend who has an order, precision and a routine to both riding and stable management that suited him far more than anything he'd get from me.

So yes, definitely think there can be personality clashes, and as someone who rides and keeps horses for pleasure, I wouldn't keep one I didn't like. It wouldn't be fair to either of us.
 
TheSaddleLady said:
I have ridden some horses that I didn't really feel anything for. We just trained together. I still cared about their well being of course, I just hopped on and got on with things. That didn't last very long.
I, personally need to feel a bond with my horse. I want them to WANT to spend time with me and vice versa. Otherwise I don't feel I am giving the horse 100% (and sometimes the horse won't either). I clicked immediately with my boy. And that was when I was his saddler 2 years ago!



NEVER keep a horse on the London/Surrey borders! With livery, shoes, insurance etc it's costing my over £650 a month. Luckily PRE's are good doers! :D
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Yes they are good doers... mine doesn't cost me a thing to feed. Also doesn't doesn't cost me a thing to shoe! Feet like stone.
 
I like a horse with quirks and plenty of personality. My older horse, who I have had for 7 years, and came from a rescue centre is almost human in his personality. He is so much fun and keeps me laughing all the time. At times he is quite naughty but only in an entertaining way, and he definitely enjoys an audience. He makes everyone laugh but at the same tries so hard and would do anything for me. But he isn't massively cuddly. Happy to be groomed but doesn't really cuddle you. He does call to me when I arrive though. Took a while to reach him but I wouldn't change him for the world.

My younger horse, 7, I have had since August and he was a bit shut down when I got him. He had been on our yard for over a year but had not had much done with him and he didn't really know that he had a human. He was looked after by livery person but didn't have anyone to really love him. I thought he might be a bit dull but knew he would be a good step up for me for my second horse. He is now a totally different horse. Full of character, the most cuddly chap, calls whenever he sees me, gallops to me in the field and just fantastic. And very entertaining.

I wouldn't want a dull horse, but I do also think that you have to allow their personality to come out. You have to let them show you who they are to an extent. As a leisure rider I guess I can do that more. My horses are very well behaved and do what I need them to do, but they have more freedom to express themselves than a lot of competition horses I think.
 
tallyho! said:
Yes they are good doers... mine doesn't cost me a thing to feed. Also doesn't doesn't cost me a thing to shoe! Feet like stone.
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Really!? My boy has terrible feet! I'm hoping to improve this once he is here in the UK and I can get him on a proper training and farrier regime.
If you have any tips, please throw them my way!
 
TheSaddleLady said:
Really!? My boy has terrible feet! I'm hoping to improve this once he is here in the UK and I can get him on a proper training and farrier regime.
If you have any tips, please throw them my way!
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Happily! Although I will PM you so as not to hijack thread and maybe we can both swap tips!
 
tiga71 said:
I like a horse with quirks and plenty of personality. My older horse, who I have had for 7 years, and came from a rescue centre is almost human in his personality. He is so much fun and keeps me laughing all the time. At times he is quite naughty but only in an entertaining way, and he definitely enjoys an audience. He makes everyone laugh but at the same tries so hard and would do anything for me. But he isn't massively cuddly. Happy to be groomed but doesn't really cuddle you. He does call to me when I arrive though. Took a while to reach him but I wouldn't change him for the world.

My younger horse, 7, I have had since August and he was a bit shut down when I got him. He had been on our yard for over a year but had not had much done with him and he didn't really know that he had a human. He was looked after by livery person but didn't have anyone to really love him. I thought he might be a bit dull but knew he would be a good step up for me for my second horse. He is now a totally different horse. Full of character, the most cuddly chap, calls whenever he sees me, gallops to me in the field and just fantastic. And very entertaining.

I wouldn't want a dull horse, but I do also think that you have to allow their personality to come out. You have to let them show you who they are to an extent. As a leisure rider I guess I can do that more. My horses are very well behaved and do what I need them to do, but they have more freedom to express themselves than a lot of competition horses I think.
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This is also what I think... it can develop over time too. Just because you don't find an instant spark between you now, doesn't mean something won't happen that will totally change everything.

My friend recently did xc with a horse she has had for years and got on well with but never had that "something" with... until last week, It happened somewhere in the middle of the pouring rain, at fence 18 I think and the smile that said it all, was there...
 
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