Horse 'testing' you after 1 bad day? Feeling down :(

FabioandFreddy

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Hi all,

I'm not really sure the exact purpose of posting other than perhaps someone can give me some advice or give me a kick up the behind!!
I've had my new boy since the end of January (lost my horse i'd had for 8 years shortly before). He's done a lot of eventing before, up until the end of last year and was mainly just hacking over the winter. He is a TB but is a sane chap and easy to do, despite having been ridden by professional riders (was one of my concerns when i went to try him, but all doubts alleviated). I bought him with the intention of doing a bit of everything with but i do mainly enjoy dressage, but also wanted something to give me confidence to start jumping again. No aspirations to be doing that competitively, just wanted to be able to do it again as a bit of fun. My old boy bless him wasn't brave and could be a stopper so confidence not high in that area.
So - 6 and a bit months down the line - been having regular lessons with my flatwork RI, all going well. He's really well schooled, gets on with his job - odd spook in the school but few and far between and nothing i've not been able to handle. Been out to a few dressage shows - he doesn't get lit up, same as he is at home which is great! Had couple of nice red rosettes! Hacking he's been fine, not quite as relaxed on his own but still fine to take out without any issues (odd spook and will often whinny on the way around but thats it). Had few sessions jumping him at home (only tiny! about 60cm), again - all good, takes you into a jump nicely without hesitation or getting het up either, jumps whatever height without giving it an extra metre! So all in all, been going well. Up until 2 weeks ago. Me and OH went XC schooling together - i had no reservations about this as figured would be the one thing he would be awesome at! It was a total disaster :( He wasn't too bad in the warm up, popped a couple of little logs ok. As soon as i wanted to move him away from hubby and his horse he got really anxious and tense. Napping, tiggering on the spot. (Not ideal when i really need a confidence boost). Tried to take him and pop a little jump, ground to a halt in front of it as he had been too busy trying to turn around to see where his buddy was. We both went on to another bit of the course. He popped another little log a few times whilst OH was stood near us, as soon as OH went off again he threw his toys out the pram boinging on the spot, whinnying. Had to shout him to come back. We had a walk through to the next field, there was a little jump heading up the hill so i had OH stay behind me whilst i went to have a go - got half way up the hill in canter and for no reason he just spun around. I thought i was coming off i'll be honest, but luckily got my stirrup back and was fine. I decided to call it a day trying to jump as it was doing my already little confidence no good at all and i was likely to come off if i kept pushing it. We had a little canter together across the field (he was fine with that - i figured we were at least doing 'something' before i finished altogether) then i got off and just stood and said to OH to go and have a few jumps without worrying about me. He still didn't like when OH went out of site but not as bad with me on the ground so i could reassure him. To say i went home feeling deflated would be an understatement. It was the first time they'd been out together and although i know he'd have been out with other horses before i'm sure that it probably would have just been on the lorry - 1 at a time took away to compete, then back to the lorry and another took to compete. So probably he hasn't been put in the situation of going somewhere in a pair together like we did for quite some time. When we first got him he didn't like being left on his own in the stable, would boing and buck on the spot - but he was fine after a couple of weeks once he knew it was 'his' stable and could see the other horses in the field. He's turned out on his own in but in sight of my husbands horse and our shetland (he was a bit too fond of our aged shetland mare to turn them all out together so had to split up. He's ok hacking in company - fine in front or behind.
I had a lesson 2 days after, kind of just to get my mojo back and get another nice ride under our belts. He was fine, usual self in the school. Another lesson last week and again was brill, we were doing shoulder in, travers, shoulder in down the long side in canter, then up the centre line and leg yield. Had a really good lesson. Decided to hack last night, not been out on my own for a few weeks (again, i'm not 100% confident on my own as pretty much the only horse i hacked for 8 years was my old boy i lost) i decided to go a bit further around than planned and on to a route we've only done once before, as soon as we turned the corner he tensed and froze. I let him stand for a couple of seconds (probably shoiuld have just made him go on straight away) then asked him on - he spun round, i quickly spun him back the other way and gave him a good boot to go forwards which he did. We carried on ok, albeit extremely tense and then home. Wasn't a pleasant ride and ended up in tears when i got back home. I'm not sure if after the day XC he's realised he can test me so is doing that!? If he's lost confidence in me?! If its just all me and he's just picking up on the fact that i'm a bit anxious. :( I feel very down the whole thing. The jumping thing whilst disappointing isn't the end of the world - its something i think i've come to the conclusion that i just don't enjoy anymore. OH says i need to just take a few steps back, hack out with him for a while and stop putting pressure on ourselves as up until the XC day he hadn't put a foot wrong.
Sorry for the very long and pretty pointless post, i know i need to pull myself together and not let it spiral out of control in my head. Sometimes though its hard not to let your irrational side take over.
 
don't let it get you down it sounds like you are spirallying into a bigger issue than it is.

If you step back and analyse it objectively. You have a sensitive, athletic, hotter blooded horse who probably got super excited being out on grass n an open space xc schooling, especially if he hadn't done it in ages. You might have been feeling a bit more adrenaline too as it was anew scenario for you and the horse might have picked up on that. And in a new scenario he was extra clingy to his pal. All completely natural. You analsyed yourself what his issue is, and that he might be better solo. If you look on the plus sit, you sat his messing, still got him to jump, sat the spins and ended up in control having a canter.

After that the horse was going super as you said yourself and then you have linked in a random spin (which any horse can do) which you rode through and successfully fixed. It isn;t proof of a horse testing anything or losing confidence in you. the best horses can just have a bad day and have a spin or nap.

You seem to understand the horse well, and know it has quirks with others horses etc. So just figure out the best way to set the horse and you up to succeed, if it means going xc schooling with just him and someone on foot then do that till you get your confidence back. If it means he is better going to shows alone, then fine. Just figure out what works for you. Every horse has quirks. my ish would have a fit schooling if the other horse cnatered off jumping without him, they all have their quirks. But if you read back you've ridden him through all of them and kept him going.

Don't add together a few bad days to make it something bigger than it is. There's always going to be runs of good and bad luck. Just figure out what situations work for you and what you can do to imrove your confidence, the horses trust in you etc.
 
Great advice from paddi22. This is a problem that is growing in your head more than in reality.

OP, I very much doubt your horse has learnt to test you after that one bad day you both had. I suspect you are questioning yourself and he's since just taken advantage (once, it's not a pattern yet) of a moment of doubt you had.

So yes, I agree, you just need to do some things to rebuild the confidence you had before with him, and then crack on while planning your sessions so that you have the best chance of a good experience each time. I'd say many horses would be clingy to their friend when xc schooling - I know I'd take my little one on her own but not with a mate unless I wanted to do pairs all the way round! just the way some of them are. You just have to find ways to work around it while you find out about each other and continue to build the partnership.
 
Don't overthink it - horses spin to tell us that they are unhappy with a situation or don't want/don't feel confident doing something.

At the XC schooling he didn't want to leave his buddy - OK you listened and called it a day on a good note. While hacking you've asked him to go somewhere he wasn't sure about - he told you, you told him to get on with it - and he did. He may be picking up on you getting anxious or he may not.

Concentrate on getting your confidence back - and be realistic - he's not turned into a raving lunatic who decks you as soon as you get on board - he's had a couple of 'moments' and now you need to get past that.
 
Really great advice already. As well as hacking with your husband I would also hack out alone sticking to really familiar routes.
He sounds lovely BTW
 
It sounds,as if you are putting yourself and the horse under too much pressure, rather than taking small steps, then panicking when he says "this is too much".
I wonder why you didn't ask OH to give you a lead over the xc jumps until the horse settled, when you could have taken the lead.
Then I wonder why on the first solo hack for a while you asked the horse to take an unfamiliar route, rather than a confidence. Building well known one.
I am all for challenging yourself but I also believe in setting the horse up to succeed. Set yourself a goal and then break it down into small steps, which are within the horse's comfort zone and give you a sense of achievement, rather than despair.
He is not testing you, he is asking you to listen to him, remember that he is a horse and make haste slowly.
 
Thank you all for your replies, i really appreciate it. Sometimes it helps to see other peoples views and make you see it from a different angle. I think because he's evented to a high level i just took for granted that taking him XC training would be a walk in the park. That coupled with the fact my old boy and OH's horse used to go out and do things together no bother i again just took for granted that it wouldn't be an issue when clearly a lot of horses wouldn't like that situation.
I had a nice schooling session with him last night and made friends again! So my last ride was a nice one so i can now hopefully just move on (no, i WILL now just move on!!)
 
That is great!
It can sometimes be hard to remember that they are all individuals with their own funny little ways and that they react differently to different riders/handlers.
All the best with him!
 
Well I wrote a lovely long reply last night but it wouldn't post, but you've already got lots of good advice
I would say though that my best ever horse who was a machine Xc was a horror Xc schooling, so you can't take these things for granted.
Sounds like you have a lovely horse, and it's still very early days for you and there's always a hic cup along the way.
 
My horse would have been the same if he had not XC schooled in ages and then I took him with another horse that cantered off with out him! Mine would have been very similar if not worse. These TB'S they like to get on with stuff. Next time (if you want there to be a next time!) go on your own with someone on foot and warm up schooling in a corner like you do your schooling at home before jumping to get you both focused and then when he's feeling a bit tired pop a log and go from there. Don't put any pressure on yourself, set yourself up for success. As an event horse he would be used to someone getting on him, warming up and then to jump with no nonsense or faffing around. His rider would have always been thinking about the next jump and riding forwards. He wouldn't have had the chance to get wound up as they would have had him focused on doing his job. Similar to how you are when you are in your comfort zone schooling and at dressage shows.
The hacking is normal stuff. My TB who I've had for 7 years is a lovely sane safe boy but he span round on the road the other day because he saw a poodle! It's the same with any horse or pony, unless it's a complete Dobbin then they need their hand holding every now and again. I would hack out in company for the next few times until you (because I think it's you worrying more than him) feel happier and connected with him again :).
He sounds a lovely smart boy, it's always hard building a new bond when you have had such a long relationship with your old horse.
 
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