Horsehunting but am I trying to find the impossible?

[Milly Molly 1966]

The advice on here is great so I am hoping to get some too!

I have been looking for a horse to purchase since August and have so far been unsuccessful.
I am looking for a mother and daughter share. I used to have my own horse up to the age of 26 (am now 47) but am returning to riding after a long break. My daughter is 16 and a novice and we are both currently taking lessons at a riding school. I am extremely nervous now and up until last April would not have thought I would get on a horse again but slowly I am trying to get over this. We started sharing a lovely ID and my confidence went up...now we cannot ride this horse anymore so started looking for our own. We started having riding lessons again to keep our riding up....but while my daughter is progressing well, I seem to have confidence issues again (It didn't help though that the cob I was riding bucked every time I tried to get it into my first canter - I have now changed horses!)

We would love to find a horse of our own but I am trying to find something suitable for both of us. It would need to be very calm and laid back and confidence giving. We have been to see a few but now feel a bit like giving up.

You first have to look at the ads - so I go for the ones suitable for a novice. I ask the right questions and the owner thinks it may be suitable (bearing in mind they want to sell the horse so you are never sure if they are telling you the truth). You tell them that you are nervous (but they have no idea normally as they have never been like that themselves)
You try and narrow down your search area but they are generally 1-2 hours away so we are limited to a Sunday only due to school and Saturday commitments.
The ones we have been to see have been unsuitable for different reasons but I feel like trying to find a horse is so time consuming and scary. I have tried the wanted ads but am mainly offered very old horses or from mums that have daughters that go off to uni but they don't really know if the horse is suitable for novice.

Does anyone have such a horse? Is it an impossibility? And any hints on what I should be looking for from the ads? I have found a great yard but just need the horse!
Thank you

 

[luckyoldme]

its risky buying a first horse.
The one thing I would advise is to google the sellers name and phone number.
Might sound silly and sorry if im teaching you to suck eggs, its just that I could have saved myself a lot of trouble if I had done that.
the other thing is that evan the calmest most bombproof horse can become very unsettled when moving to a new home......... and a nervous new owner can make them think they have reason to be nervous themselves!
The fact that you have taken so long looking means you must be a lot more carefull than I was though!
Once I had bought my horse I found that I got to know more that were for sale.......so would you be able to spend some time around the yard speaking to horsey people?

 

[Meandtheboys]

What area are you in and what is your budget - what you are looking for will not be cheap and people on here might be able to advise whether your budget is sufficient enough.

 

[highlandponygirl]

Speak to your riding instructor and ask for her help in looking for something suitable for you. She'll know your capabilities and confidence level etc and will be able to help you find something to suit you or might know of a horse for sale that might be ideal. Sometimes these types of horses are moved on through word of mouth as there are always people looking for safe/ confidence giving horses/ponies.

 

[Milly Molly 1966]

Hi...thanks for the reply....I did just that.... a few weeks ago we arranged to view a horse (over an hour away) and it said it was suitable for a nervous/novice and we exchanged several emails so was getting confident that this horse would be suitable...I googled the phone number and found that a few months previously she had an ad for a share which stated the same horse needed an experienced rider as it had been out of work for a while. We decided not to go....
You just don't know who to trust.....

 

[Milly Molly 1966]

sorry..you are far too quick! my reply was for luckyoldme

 

[Milly Molly 1966]

What area are you in and what is your budget - what you are looking for will not be cheap and people on here might be able to advise whether your budget is sufficient enough.

I am in High Wycombe, bucks. First of all my budget was 5k but then people told me this was too high as this was for the more competition type horses. Ideally would like to spend around 2.5 - 3.5k

 

[ihatework]

I am in High Wycombe, bucks. First of all my budget was 5k but then people told me this was too high as this was for the more competition type horses. Ideally would like to spend around 2.5 - 3.5k

I would say to be flexible on your budget. If you can stretch to 5K then this will open up more options to you.
A competition horse and a mother/daughter saint are completely different horses for different markets and often what you seek could be priced higher than a competition horse.

You aren't too far from me.

Have you decided on a yard yet? Have you involved any professionals to try and help you find the right horse?

 

[Milly Molly 1966]

I would say to be flexible on your budget. If you can stretch to 5K then this will open up more options to you.
A competition horse and a mother/daughter saint are completely different horses for different markets and often what you seek could be priced higher than a competition horse.

You aren't too far from me.

Have you decided on a yard yet? Have you involved any professionals to try and help you find the right horse?

We have found a yard with experienced owners and instructor. I have just found a local horsehunter who said they will help but will be limited to 1 hour driving from their location. Someone just told me about safecobs so have phoned them....but they have a long waiting list!

 

[ihatework]

We have found a yard with experienced owners and instructor. I have just found a local horsehunter who said they will help but will be limited to 1 hour driving from their location. Someone just told me about safecobs so have phoned them....but they have a long waiting list!

Have you seen horsequest advert 58383?
Local enough to be worth a viewing? (I don't care much for the gushy advert!)

 

[Girlracer]

Where are you looking? (I.E what websites etc?)

 

[Milly Molly 1966]

Have you seen horsequest advert 58383?
Local enough to be worth a viewing? (I don't care much for the gushy advert!)

thank you....I have seen this one but wasn't sure if was a bit small for us....I am 5ft8 and 14st and daughter 5ft 9 and about 11st

 

[ihatework]

thank you....I have seen this one but wasn't sure if was a bit small for us....I am 5ft8 and 14st and daughter 5ft 9 and about 11st

Hmmm, possibly a bit small for you.
You probably need a chunky 15.3/16hh type - and safe easy versions of those don't come cheap, so I would budget to spend your original 5K (and if you find one cheaper consider it a bonus!).
Other dealers that seem to have a reasonable rep for this type are Stubely hollow and clip clop traders

 

[luckyoldme]

sorry..you are far too quick! my reply was for luckyoldme

im sorted now! my nightmare horse and I kind of came to an agreement.
He accepts that im not the best rider in the world on account of the fact that im the one with the food.
If I was to do it again though I would really like to avoid the trips to a and e and said horse galloping flat out down a very busy a road followed by me in my jeep!

 

[Cortez]

A first horse is always a difficult one! I really think you should reconsider the older horses; anything under 10 is unlikely to be steady enough to compensate for your inexperience, and even 20 year olds could give you many years of wise council. And be prepared to travel; you may be lucky and find what you're looking for on your doorstep, or you could have to go much farther afield.

 

[Suec04]

My daughter and I are in exactly the same position as you! in fact your post could have been written by me too!

I also feel your pain. I have travelled up to 3 hours away to see a horse suitable for a nervous novice, only to find that she hadn't been ridden for 8 weeks and was spooking, bucking and half rearing when they rode her. I refused to get on and there was no way I was going to allow my 13yr old to get on it. buying a horse is terrifying and my budget is around the 2k mark. I have opted to look for an older horse for us now. I had previously dismissed these but have decided to take the advice of some posters on here and look at these now. not only will they hopefully have been there got the t-shirt, but providing they are sound and have good legs/feet, will last us a few good years. plus they will be more in my price range. I have been passed the name of someone local who will hopefully be able to help us. Good Luck in your search and let me know if you come across anyone who was helpful in your search. We are not so far from you either x

 

[Lgd]

I would happily recommend Stubley ( http://www.stubleyhollowhorses.com/ )
They found two horses for a friend of mine and both were exactly what it said on the tin. They were very upfront with A when she was looking for her first horse - they had nothing suitable at the time but took her details and contacted when they found something. 10 years on she still has the same mare. She was in her late 40's, only started riding at 45yo and quite a nervous nellie. When the mare had sidebone a few years ago and needed time off she bought another from them and then sold it on no bother when the mare came sound and back into work. A doesn't ride now due to arthritis but the horse is such a saint her trainer has leased her to use in the riding school as a schoolmaster.

 

[Pearlsasinger]

I, too, would say don't rule out older 'been there, done that' horses. I would also consider ride and drive horses as they have very often been bred/broken/brought on by real old-fashioned horse people who know what they are doing, so the horse knows its job inside out. Personally I try to avoid 'home-bred' as I never trust one foal breeders to do the job properly (sorry if I've offended any-one, just personal experience).

 

[AdorableAlice]

There is a lovely 13 year pure ID mare on the Irish Draught (GB) website.

I would just be a little cautious with the irish cob importers. These young cobs come over in the rough and 'made' by the importers very quickly. They are then sold out as quiet and easy. Indeed most are pleasant tempered types but once they are rehomed, fed and not worked will often prove to be a little 'Kevin' like, and more than able to take advantage of their new novice owners.

 

[rach1]

Have you tried contacting the local hunt/pony club/riding club? The secretaries can keep an ear out for something local. Quite often good local horses will be sold by word of mouth alone and you may find a gem on your doorstep.

Good luck!

 

[SHCC]

I know someone who might be able to help you in your search, or have a suitable horse for sale.
She is not a dealer, and I bought my horse from her in 2010.
PM me if you'd more details.

 

[EmmyMD]

I would totally recommend the older, been there done that sort. http://www.fec-me.com/horses-for-sale/ a few of these look suitable, or horse quest 87849

What you are looking for is in fact, few and far between and usually cost a bit.
I have two totally bombproof horses, who i think are nice, straightforwards rides, but i'd not put a nervous novice on them in 10000 years, because they've only ever had professional jockeys/work riders on them or (poor them) me, i've not a clue in hell how they'd react. Because i think there are very few horses i'd like to guarantee are nice mother/daughter saints at all times, and often these horses don't get advertised, they are sold long before the owner needs to advertise, there was a STUNNING cob (this is coming from someone that can't deal with anything chunkier than a NH type thoroughbred) on my yard owned by a novice totally nervous rider who had a 4 person long waiting list for when he got sold, and i think he was about £6k. Granted not all safe horses are as stunning as he was but what you want costs money. There are thousands of horses that aren't 'difficult' or spooky but still wouldn't be suitable for a novice or nervous rider. In my back catalogue of ex racehorses i had a lovely gelding who was bombproof, and pretty genuine but such a big horse just took such a lot of 'riding.' And i imagine these sort of cases are what you've had so far.

If you really want a horse, scrap the travel distance, you're going to have to really look high and low, OR find a good, reputable dealer who has a track record of finding what you are looking for, i.e. a saintly family horses, and tell them what you want and see if they can help

 

[Booboos]

I'll give you a different opinion: if you lack confidence on RS horses and your daughter is a beginner do not buy your own horse. Even if you find a horse that seems suitable now things may well go down him without someone experienced schooling the horse regularly and lessons for both of you. Stay with a good RS until you feel confident schooling and hacking all of their horses, even the more challenging ones, e.g. the ones that may put in a buck when asked to canter - trust me that is nothing compared to the kind of behaviour you may get from your horse as a private horse owner, if you don't believe me just check out any of the many threads on here of people dealing with different issues. Give yourself some time to build your confidence up and your daughter some time to learn in the safest environment possible before you take the risk of owning a horse.

 

[Milly Molly 1966]

Where are you looking? (I.E what websites etc?)

Everywhere......horsequest,horsehunter,preloved, horse and hound. dealers. facebook, advert in local tack shops, emailed rda, local groups, friends

 

[Milly Molly 1966]

I'll give you a different opinion: if you lack confidence on RS horses and your daughter is a beginner do not buy your own horse. Even if you find a horse that seems suitable now things may well go down him without someone experienced schooling the horse regularly and lessons for both of you. Stay with a good RS until you feel confident schooling and hacking all of their horses, even the more challenging ones, e.g. the ones that may put in a buck when asked to canter - trust me that is nothing compared to the kind of behaviour you may get from your horse as a private horse owner, if you don't believe me just check out any of the many threads on here of people dealing with different issues. Give yourself some time to build your confidence up and your daughter some time to learn in the safest environment possible before you take the risk of owning a horse.

I know what you mean but having a lesson each week at £50 each a time is costing a fortune. I can basically ride (although very rusty) but its the nerves that are stopping me (i.e I am leaning forward in trot and canter as I am tense). Its more about dealing with the nerves and having a lesson once a week walking, trotting, and cantering around a school is not enough. I feel like I need to get out in the real world and tackle any issues and build trust with my horse. We have a good instructor at the yard we are going to keep the horse who has been helping me with the issues on our shared horse. We were doing really well until the horse couldn't be ridden any more.
For me it is more about the looking after the horse(I am at that stage in life when I have lots of free time now so its the right time) and I really want my daughter to have the same outdoor lifestyle that I had when I was growing up...not on a computer! I would love to get a horse that I can enjoy the countryside on rather than worry about what my horse is doing...or is this just a dream! I am sure there are other oldies out there that know what I mean!

 

[Meowy Catkin]

its the nerves that are stopping me (i.e I am leaning forward in trot and canter as I am tense). Its more about dealing with the nerves and having a lesson once a week walking, trotting, and cantering around a school is not enough. I feel like I need to get out in the real world and tackle any issues and build trust with my horse.

If you are leaning forward with tension in trot in a school, how will you cope when a pigeon or pheasant flies up from a hedgerow spooking your horse when you have traffic in the equation too? I use this as an example because my experienced, fabulous in traffic schoolmistress spooks every flipping time this happens.

 

[Milly Molly 1966]

If you are leaning forward with tension in trot in a school, how will you cope when a pigeon or pheasant flies up from a hedgerow spooking your horse when you have traffic in the equation too? I use this as an example because my experienced, fabulous in traffic schoolmistress spooks every flipping time this happens.

My share horse used to jump to one side when a pheasant jumped out but once I knew that was all he was going to do it was fine. Its about trust and knowing what he will do in certain situations. I don't understand myself why I get so nervous...honestly its so frustrating I get so far then back to square one again...But my daughter is the opposite...shes not nervous but just lacks experience.

 

[Meowy Catkin]

I feel for you, I'm disabled after a riding accident and had major nerves mounting when I first started riding again. Luckily I was Ok once on. My mare is brilliant, I've had her for many years and I've never had confidence issues with her, but she sometimes does far more than just jump to the side at a pheasant, but she will then walk calmly past a rattly skip lorry a few seconds later.

All I'm trying to say, is that even with a fab horse, incidents can happen that can destroy a rider's fragile confidence. I once was riding past a tall hedge, when a chainsaw was started (the operator was other side of the hedge wearing ear defenders and didn't hear or see us) and CM galloped about 200 yards down the road in a split second before I regained control. There was also the time I discovered that she's **** scared of alpacas after she whipped round in the blink of an eye when we met some for the first time. I then had to put a lot of training into working on the problem and giving her confidence, so we now have no issues riding past fields with alpacas. Plus the various lose and out of control dogs that we've met over the years on bridleways. It's not fun when the dog is crouched, growling and the owner can't get the dog to respond to their calls.

I just wonder if it would be prudent to work on your confidence now and buy a horse once you can trot and canter confidently?

Also I know how hard it is to buy that 'perfect' confidence giver as they don't really exist. I did find the right horse for me but I have put a lot of training (and had weekly lessons on her for several months, then fortnightly lessons, then every nown and again lessons) into getting her that way and I have seriously worked on my weaknesses too.

 

[EmmyMD]

I think if your nerves are so bad you can't trot and canter properly then I'm afraid i'd not be buying a horse either. That really is the very basics of riding, and if you are struggling to have confidence doing that i think that's a poor idea.

Can you not look for another share? I'm sorry OP but I really don't think getting a horse with you as nervous as you are and your daughter getting a horse as novice as she is is a good idea.

 

[Booboos]

I know what you mean but having a lesson each week at £50 each a time is costing a fortune. I can basically ride (although very rusty) but its the nerves that are stopping me (i.e I am leaning forward in trot and canter as I am tense). Its more about dealing with the nerves and having a lesson once a week walking, trotting, and cantering around a school is not enough. I feel like I need to get out in the real world and tackle any issues and build trust with my horse. We have a good instructor at the yard we are going to keep the horse who has been helping me with the issues on our shared horse. We were doing really well until the horse couldn't be ridden any more.
For me it is more about the looking after the horse(I am at that stage in life when I have lots of free time now so its the right time) and I really want my daughter to have the same outdoor lifestyle that I had when I was growing up...not on a computer! I would love to get a horse that I can enjoy the countryside on rather than worry about what my horse is doing...or is this just a dream! I am sure there are other oldies out there that know what I mean!

With your own horse you are going to have loads more expenses plus regular lessons anyway, so re-check your sums before you commit.

From what you say you are a very novicey rider (not intending this as a disparaging remark, we were all beginners at the beginning!) and getting a horse now is likely to be a major disaster.