Horses and Inuendo: COMPETITION with Prize 18+

DavidDent

Member
Joined
7 July 2009
Messages
27
Location
Wales
www.dentfineart.com
I wanted some input from other equine disciplines on the subject of the Horse and inuendo.
You know the kind of thing.
That old peculiarly British play on words sense of humour with connotations of an improper nature in another context.

Naturally, this is rife in the horse world. The very words 'ride' and 'filly' invite all sorts of sniggers.

Well I took this to the limit on some limited prints we did; and they have sold very well.
http://www.dentfineart.com/photo_3096969.html
http://www.dentfineart.com/photo_3097143.html

Now I know the terminology of the racing world very well.
So using expressions directly from the form book and placing them beneath a drawing of a lady racegoer, stable lass or trainer's wife proved very funny.

For example

"once considered good enough for group entries"
"dark horse who likes to dominate"
"likes to get the bit between her teeth"
"this one goes for the Guineas"
"temperamental chestnut filly with flashy mane"
"likes to come from behind"

are very innocent racing terminology when written about a horse....


Now many many people have suggested I do similar with showjumping, polo, hunting, dressage, eventing etc. I would love to do this, but am not so "au fait" with terminology for these disciplines that may be appropriate (or rather, inappropriate!).

I will offer one of these limited editions (choose from flat or jumps) to the person who can post the best suggestions for any of these other equine disciplines.
Only one rule: you have to be 18 plus to enter.
 
I am sure it will amuse many, but I am so tired of all the puns like this, they remind me of the distant past, along with Ford Cortinas, bell bottoms, the Dukes of Hazard.
frown.gif

If I see one more 'Moody mare' T shirt...
S
grin.gif
 
Well there is a team chase team of side saddle riders known as the 'leg over ladies' because of course, on a side saddle, you must get your leg over...
 
'eventers do it three ways for three days'

Hunting-'riding all over this land for years'

I had an instuctor once who said not to tell my bf i had been riding 'bareback'with him all afternoon..
 
i think dressage will probably be your most fertile area. just listen to 1 lesson and you'll get lots of material... comments such as "really coming from behind", etc, i'm sure you can add references to whips and spurs etc, puns on "being engaged", etc.
 
Cant think of any for your competition but a bit of smut always makes me chuckle, so i thought i would share....

a couple of nights ago I greatly amused some friends and embaressed my husband by saying I was black and blue 'after coming off 3 times in one ride'!!!

Of course I was referring to falling off the horse
wink.gif
 
I was riding my shire up the road one day and sombody comented that was probably the biggest thing i had had between my legs for a long time!!
shocked.gif
shocked.gif
blush.gif
 
My instructor once said to me, you need to open your hips, sit deeper and really ride the movement........then you'll feel it!!

Unfortunately thanks to me and my dirty mind I couldn't ride for laughing..... I certainly didn't feel it!!!
blush.gif
 
Genuinely from some of my dressage sheets.

A slightly odd:

'Pace restricted due to size'

And the wry:

'Enthusiastic movement'
'Exuberent transition'

Along with some regulars:

'Some loss of control'
'Quietly ridden'
'More bend required'
'A rhythmic partnership'


There's soooo many when you look at it in a certain light.
grin.gif
 
My brother was at a football match and went to pat one of the police horses on duty after the game (because he wanted to talk to the pretty police officer)!

He said to her, 'He's a bit sweaty', to which she replied, 'Wouldn't you be after a few hours between my legs?'

LOL
blush.gif
grin.gif
grin.gif
laugh.gif
 
[ QUOTE ]
My brother was at a football match and went to pat one of the police horses on duty after the game (because he wanted to talk to the pretty police officer)!

He said to her, 'He's a bit sweaty', to which she replied, 'Wouldn't you be after a few hours between my legs?'

LOL
blush.gif
grin.gif
grin.gif
laugh.gif


[/ QUOTE ]

Very good, i like it when men are slapped down.
 
Top