Horses are stressful or is it their owners??

[Chestnut mare]

We have decided to turn out for the summer this weekend . As usual this has caused problems with the livery I share field with. She thinks her horse is skinny (she isn't) and still wants to give her hay. My horse is fat and does not need hay (I'm going to muzzle her).
I suggest to the other livery I will feed hay to her horse the days I'm riding (5/7 days) so her horse can eat the hay whilst mine is out being ridden. The days I'm not riding will feed both hay! This isn't good enough as her horse will not have the full allocation of hay on the days I'm not riding as mine chases her off ( yes, she shifts her horse onto another pile then settle down and eat nicely even sharing a pile).
Keeping mine in is not an option as we have barn stables and only the 2 horses are sharing the barn. Meaning mine will be isolated on her own (she's stressy)
YO doesn't want field divided up at all as they need tractor access. I suggested leaving them in a bit longer until the other livery is satisfied that there is enough grass for her mare and hay is no longer required. She doesn't want that either! Arghhhh had enough thought horses were meant to be a pleasure?? This is too stressful .

 

[MochaDun]

I'm fond of all the horses on the yard where I keep mine, even the few stressy ones...it's just some of their owners I find actually stressful if that answers your question! I guess we are all very particular about our horses.

 

[Bosworth]

with the liveries I have i find it tends to be the stressy owners who have the stressy horses. So I suspect the owners make their horses like it to an extent. I also find it tends to be the more novicy owners who are the stressy ones, and teh ones who treat their horse as their 'baby'. For some reason all horses that come onto our yard chill out and relax, probably because it is a very peaceful yard and they have loads of grazing in small herds. As a Yard owner i tell the liveries when they turn out 24/7 and when they keep in. it tends to work well as I normally turn everything out in the mornings through winter, and once they can be out 24/7 I no longer turn out. So if an owner decides they want to keep their horse in - thats fine but they will need to come up and turn it out. They soon decide 24/7 turnout is for them.
If someone is not happy about how much grass they have and have a thin horse, then feed it hard feed. So the answer to your problem is that teh other owner comes up, gets her horse out of the field and gives it a feed. That way yours doesn;t get any unwanted hay, and hers gets more weight on, if she wants it it.