Horses picking up emotions

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Lux

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Hi everybody,

I am fairly new to horse riding, started early January 2024. The lessons were going well, learned how to trot, canter, transitions etc. I don't own a horse, I am taking lessons in a riding center, so I am assigned a different horse most of the time. Mostly rotating between 3 of them.

For the past few lessons, I noticed that the horse refuses to move despite me using my leg and, as a last resort, a light tap with the crop. The trainer reassured me that everything is fine and I might be reaching a stage where I am asking the horse to do more than usual and that's why there is resistance. The other thing she suggested, which I strongly believe might be the culprit here, is that the horse picks up any tension I am feeling. For the past few weeks, I have been feeling very burned out due to work stuff and feeling emotionally drained. I feel like a husk of a person during my lessons, I am so tired all the time. Even though I love my lessons and the horses to bits! I try to give clear commands and encourage the horse it doesn't work.

Sorry for the long paragraph, I would appreciate any feedback \ experiences. I am getting help and overall taking care of myself during this burnout period, so please don't get alarmed.
 
I doubt it's just that the horse is picking up your tension. Riding school horses for novice riders aren't usually the super sensitive types. Imagine if a riding school horse decided not to move every time a learner rider got a bit tense...

if all three horses you ride do it, then yes it's probably you, you could be giving conflicting signals. But IME when a school horse refuses to move it's usually lameness or sourness through overwork (I mean the horse's workload, not yours). But also if you don't really mean something when you ask, they generally know!

Are you just too worn out to be able to ride effectively? Riding a horse is both physically and mentally very demanding.
 
Do they offer lunge lessons? It'd very common that RS don't these days, but if they will you can leave the instructions to the horse to your instructor in this period of stress and just work on things like position, relaxation and learning to feel the footfalls of the horse so you'll be in a better position to cue the horse at the correct moment when you feel like picking up the reins (perhaps metaphorically) yourself. Tbh everyone should be lunged a lot more than is common these days so it will only benefit you long term.
 
JackFrost said:
I doubt it's just that the horse is picking up your tension. Riding school horses for novice riders aren't usually the super sensitive types. Imagine if a riding school horse decided not to move every time a learner rider got a bit tense...

if all three horses you ride do it, then yes it's probably you, you could be giving conflicting signals. But IME when a school horse refuses to move it's usually lameness or sourness through overwork (I mean the horse's workload, not yours). But also if you don't really mean something when you ask, they generally know!

Are you just too worn out to be able to ride effectively? Riding a horse is both physically and mentally very demanding.
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Now that I am thinking about it, I might have given the horse conflicting signals, as I recall having the reigns perhaps a bit too short. One of them drags her head on the ground and it's dofficult to keep her head up. Will keep an eye on the reigns. Not sure about lameness, the horses are taken care very well, plus I don't have well enough of a trained eye to spot it.

Burnttoast said:
Do they offer lunge lessons? It'd very common that RS don't these days, but if they will you can leave the instructions to the horse to your instructor in this period of stress and just work on things like position, relaxation and learning to feel the footfalls of the horse so you'll be in a better position to cue the horse at the correct moment when you feel like picking up the reins (perhaps metaphorically) yourself. Tbh everyone should be lunged a lot more than is common these days so it will only benefit you long term.
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My trainer lunged me last time and the situation improved a lot! It's just when that happens I feel like I suck haha. But during this periods will for sure be useful, I understand that horse riding takes a lot of time and dedication. Not all days are supposed to be good ones.
 
Lux said:
My trainer lunged me last time and the situation improved a lot! It's just when that happens I feel like I suck haha. But during this periods will for sure be useful, I understand that horse riding takes a lot of time and dedication. Not all days are supposed to be good ones.
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Being lunged (by a good instructor!) is a really valuable thing for the rider. I was really happy when I found a classical equitation place that would lunge me, and that was after riding for 30 years and being fairly competent. I don't know if it's still the same but the Spanish Riding School certainly used to start new riders on the lunge for many months, daily.
 
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My Louis picks up on my mood when I'm schooling if I'm really not feeling it he knows and then just doesn't co-operate, I've learnt that it's better if I just don't ride him if I really am not in the mood, I tend to just do a bit of ground work or get someone else to ride him.

The menopause hasn't helped because my mood is so changeable and his so in tune with it so it doesn't make riding him easy sometimes.
 
Lux said:
My trainer lunged me last time and the situation improved a lot! It's just when that happens I feel like I suck haha.
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Don't knock yourself for that - we all feel that way sometimes. Anyway that's the point of lessons - if you're not being pushed to stretch your abilities then you won't improve. If you made progress in one lesson then clearly you are improving.

It sounds to me like you might be too emotionally and physically tired to really give your lessons 100% at the moment - in your situation I would explain your situation to the instructor and work on some easy stuff for a while, or see if you can go for some chilled hacks instead of / as well as the lessons.
 
Widgeon said:
Don't knock yourself for that - we all feel that way sometimes. Anyway that's the point of lessons - if you're not being pushed to stretch your abilities then you won't improve. If you made progress in one lesson then clearly you are improving.

It sounds to me like you might be too emotionally and physically tired to really give your lessons 100% at the moment - in your situation I would explain your situation to the instructor and work on some easy stuff for a while, or see if you can go for some chilled hacks instead of / as well as the lessons.
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I think that's a good idea. I need to keep an eye on my nutrition as well, I want to improve my fitness overall, as it is tied to my mood.
 
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