Horsey men versus non horses men

ILuvCowparsely

ILuvCowparsely

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and women visa versa.

Not sure if this has been done before bear with me.



My boy had colic for the first time ever two weeks ago.. Still trying to find the cause so got a tick list and working through it.
This first thing hubby said when I came into the house to call vet was


* you better not be calling the vet *

I said yes and walked out leaving him mumbling. Any time they have an ailment or need the vet I get the third degree.
I know one thing for sure I will never get married again as I like to be independent and not have someone say * you cannot have another cat / you cannot have another horse *

How do horsey hubbies or horses wife's act when a vet is needed for their partners horse or pony??

Is it only non horse men that act like this or is it an age thing they get worse or grumpier as they get older.
 
My non horsey OH wouldn't say that - he knows he doesn't know horses and as such any decisions are mine to make and mine alone, particularly if it was somethins serious like colic! He might have a dig at me now and again every time he finds me on H&H on a horse shopping website but he certainly wouldn't question me if i thought my horse needed the vet!

I'd think I'd rather a non horsey OH so I have my own independant hobby and he can have his!
 
I am for a non -horsey man, but they need a hobby of their own, mine has swimming, golf and now cooking, (too much master chef I think) he rarely comments on anything I spend my money on. Let's face it, it's my money that I work full time to earn. However, I would never dream of making any comments on what he buys. I do remember his concern when I bought my fourth saddle in under Six months but in some ways that was understandable. As for the vet, as far as Mark is concerned if the lad needs the vet then get the vet. He is the same with the dogs. He currently keeps turning up with tasty treats to tempt our very elderly dog who is on the decline. In fact I do remember that he paid half of Ffins huge vet bill. So to me I think it's more about the person, rather then if they are horsey or non horsey. I think you have the wrong man.
 
While I would expect the odd ribbing about non-essentials (I think that like many on here, I probably have too many rugs :p ) I haven't been with anyone (so far) who would question me calling the vet beyond a good-natured groan. They'd be getting an earful if they did!
 
Must make me lucky then?
I have a part horsy husband, who doesn't ride much, picks and chooses when he wants to do something horsey, has his own horse that can never do anything wrong, but he does help with emptying the muck trailer and fencing (although takes encouragement).
He has his land rovers and also goes off to events like the Landy show or war and peace, leaving me and 6 horses at home :)
He often try's to add to the Landy collection but the threat of another horse soon stops that!
Vets and vet bill wise, he can't see anything suffer and has been thru some pretty nasty stuff, although if on colic watch he does like to take his ipad and earphones. He's accepted that 'we' are a package and somehow the bills whether vet, garage or house get paid!
My Christmas and birthday presents are for the horses (often a contibution to the vet bills) and his are spanners or Landy bits, before me he never did horses or landrovers, but we do have a week once a year where we do things together and not horsey or Landy, so I suppose, I've got the best of both worlds?

Edited to add, he often is the one that wants the vet out as where we've had a tough time with some of our horses he panics and wants reassurance!
 
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Erm why on earth do you let him speak to you like that or dictate what you can or cannot do with your money?
My OH is not horsey at all but has helped pay my last horses vet bills, lent me the money to buy my current horse, heck he has even paid part of my lorry bill this year. If I were to phone the vet his reaction would be total support

We have discussions and he may ask me not to do something and if he has valid reasons then I'll concider not doing it

We respect each other's interests and independence. I support him and he supports me.
 
It isn't about horsey or non - horsey it is about having a heart. My mum is about as non-horsey as they come but would never suggest leaving a horse (or any other animal) without veterinary treatment. My husband is horsey and would want the vet if our horse wasn't right too. Anyone who begrudges an animal appropriate veterinary care is pretty nasty if you ask me.
 
conniegirl said:
Erm why on earth do you let him speak to you like that or dictate what you can or cannot do with your money?
My OH is not horsey at all but has helped pay my last horses vet bills, lent me the money to buy my current horse, heck he has even paid part of my lorry bill this year. If I were to phone the vet his reaction would be total support

We have discussions and he may ask me not to do something and if he has valid reasons then I'll concider not doing it

We respect each other's interests and independence. I support him and he supports me.
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only thing with that is the vet account is for emergencies for all animals and its his money that goes in it not mine as the yard is low on liveries at the moment.

He did spend £ 10 grand on my boy's mum when she was going through laminitis
 
OH non-horsey. He likes collecting and music so spends a lot of time and money on that. I would never tell him to stop doing it and vice versa. He can play guitar and video games to his hearts content. He only complains about the smell and mess. (Very clean and a bit ocd)

Sometimes I would like him to ride with me, but he loves the little shetland at his work and he even came to my first show despite being hungover, so can't complain. I do like that its my own thing and i would be livid if he started riding and took to it naturally! Whereas I have to work hard to ride! Haha!
 
First OH was non-horsey, he was a right Scrooge, not just with the horse either, with everything! When we divorced I vowed that if I didn't find a horsey OH then I'd stay single for the rest of my days! :p

I am very lucky in that I found one! No questions with needing feed, shoes....handed over £600 last summer for the winter hay without turning a hair, fetches it from the bank himself and I don't even have to ask about ordering it as he's on top of the job before me! Maintains everything and bought us a lorry last year when I got a new horse so we can go do stuff together with the horses. Even down to the conversations of 'What do you reckon to doing........with........?'....it's bliss. Today we spent a good 30 minutes or so discussing how to get the horses to a decent fitness again. It's as easy as discussing what are we having for dinner tonight..

The porch and kitchen/diner can often end up with tack spilling into them and then we'll have a purge on getting all back into the tack room! Then I'll tidy the tack room and he'll yell 'Have you seen my long boots and did you clean them for me??'....err....clean your own boots you lazy toad! :p Though I do end up cleaning his tack as 'You do SUCH a better job than me!'....always fall for that one! :D

No questions on spending all day at shows, though we do factor in time to do other stuff.

I love it. :)
 
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I am incredibly lucky in that my OH is horsey (we met through horses) so he is fully aware of costs etc. Therefore we do spend a lot of time together but it works, its our hobby. We only "argue" over whether he's willing to groom/chauffeur me to a showing class (he'd rather watch paint dry!!) if so, I'll groom+build for him at a show jumping comp!
 
My oh isn't particularly interested in the horses but wouldn't dream of questioning the need for the vet. I'd tell him if I was going to get another saddle but all the day-to-day expenses come out the joint acc without comment.
If we need to economise the horses basic needs come first, extras will be up for discussion. He has his own interests and I don't interfere there.
 
My husband is horsey, we met through me borrowing his carriage to break my pony to drive. It is fab as we go to shows together and we support each other. Love it when we can go hacking together and its nice not having to worry about spending too much time with the ponies.
 
My hubby is non horsey, but has his own hobbies to keep him occupied. Im a stay at home mum, so everything the horses need comes out of what is technically 'his' money. But i'm very lucky that he doesnt view it that way. He knows horses are my passion and he is happy to support me in that - both emotionally and financially. He's even been known to poo pick on the odd occasion. Personally I think he deserves a medal!
 
I am single now but my ex was non horsey and very dismissive of horsey things and HGA-12 he would have said exactly the same as your OH about calling the vet. He continually asked about my daughter's horse (who admittedly was unsound and difficult to ride) 'why don't you shoot it?' and was very scathing about my lorry purchase and told me off for not driving it every weekend. Oh and we weren't married, I paid for loads of joint things like holidays and my horses never cost him a cent (neither did I).

TBF he was just a mean old scrooge but he has put me off the idea of ever letting another man in my life to grump about my horses! :)
 
My Boyfiend was non horsey when we first met at school years back. He has took to the outdoor and horsey lifestyle really well, he helps me muck out, feed, Haynets Ect- he helps put jumps up/down and holds onto baby horses when I am getting on board for the first few times! He is really good and spends hours with me and the horses and the dogs and always has from the start ( I think he loves the lifestyle really) he would never question what I was spending money on and if any of the animals needed the vet he would be the one ringing or rushing the dogs to them. He is a singer/ songwriter and gigs all over and I go with him and support him at all those too, so it's definatley a two way thing :)
 
I don't think it's horsey or non horsey it's about the quality of your relationship. If you don't trust each other and don't think the money/ time/ etc is fairly balanced then you have wider issues.

My OH was living in a flat in London when I met him and had never owned a goldfish, we have now been living on our smallholding for 8 years and he now mucks out, turns out/ feeds/ rugs etc my 4 every day while I'm at work while also looking after pigs, chickens, dogs, cows etc. Oh and our 2 toddlers!!
I had the vet to my oldie a couple of weeks ago and I couldn't be there so held him for the vet and discussed all the issues - if he'd have moaned about the cost I'd have gone mad.
He has ridden and had at one point his own pony but much prefers to be out on 2 wheels

Anyone who resents time time/ cash you spend on your hobbies (of any kind) doesn't deserve you in the long run
 
conniegirl said:
Erm why on earth do you let him speak to you like that or dictate what you can or cannot do with your money?
My OH is not horsey at all but has helped pay my last horses vet bills, lent me the money to buy my current horse, heck he has even paid part of my lorry bill this year. If I were to phone the vet his reaction would be total support

We have discussions and he may ask me not to do something and if he has valid reasons then I'll concider not doing it

We respect each other's interests and independence. I support him and he supports me.
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This only my Oh is very experienced with horses, just outgrown them
 
HGA-12 said:
only thing with that is the vet account is for emergencies for all animals and its his money that goes in it not mine as the yard is low on liveries at the moment.

He did spend £ 10 grand on my boy's mum when she was going through laminitis
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After reading that he doesn't sound so mean and I can understand him being nervous of another big bill if it's just his money paying for everything. Perhaps he's worried financially? If the yard is not doing well could you do some mobile livery services or something to up the money?
 
Madam Min said:
I am incredibly lucky in that my OH is horsey (we met through horses) so he is fully aware of costs etc. Therefore we do spend a lot of time together but it works, its our hobby. We only "argue" over whether he's willing to groom/chauffeur me to a showing class (he'd rather watch paint dry!!) if so, I'll groom+build for him at a show jumping comp!
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we met in horses in 1984 he was a client where i worked at a stage yard. I taught him for a few months
 
My boyfriend tires to talk to me like that too and in honesty I'm getting totally fed up with it. Who do they think they are. I'd never stop him going to the Doc

I then get "you always put the horses first " well. Yes. Of course I do. I've had my mare for 14 yrs. And the others for 4 yrs. I've been with him a yr. He knew I had responsibilities, so who the hell does he think he is to try and stop me doing right by them

He doesn't have a hobby and that defo makes it worse. Coz he expects me to be able to drop the horses when he wants to go somewhere

I was single for 4 yrs because I didn't have time for a bloke. Now I'm realising I was happier then
 
Honey08 said:
After reading that he doesn't sound so mean and I can understand him being nervous of another big bill if it's just his money paying for everything. Perhaps he's worried financially? If the yard is not doing well could you do some mobile livery services or something to up the money?
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i have got my listening ears out for anything i can do but yard takes up lots time
 
After watching the sheer panic on his face the day he came back with the dog from a walk to discover the dog had severed an artery in his foot, to which I pulled out the first aid box and promptly packed it with gamgee and wrapped it, and drove to the out of hours vet, he will never open his mouth when I need to phone for the horse, however he is still blissfully unaware of some of the bills from her bilateral leg op!
 
Tobiano said:
I am single now but my ex was non horsey and very dismissive of horsey things and HGA-12 he would have said exactly the same as your OH about calling the vet. He continually asked about my daughter's horse (who admittedly was unsound and difficult to ride) 'why don't you shoot it?' and was very scathing about my lorry purchase and told me off for not driving it every weekend. Oh and we weren't married, I paid for loads of joint things like holidays and my horses never cost him a cent (neither did I).

TBF he was just a mean old scrooge but he has put me off the idea of ever letting another man in my life to grump about my horses! :)
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Just pick your man wisely, my second OH is a total diamond, love the bones of him, experienced with horses, but doesn't interfere, there if needed, great handyman, a good all rounder, yet happy to go off golfing, I wouldn't change him for the world
 
My husband used to ride but is more into his sailing and has his boat. He respects what I do with my horses and supports me totally. When I lost my boy to colic, he stayed at the yard with me until the vet came and was with me when my boy was put to sleep. He then sent me home and dealt with the collection of the body, as he said there was no need for me to have more upset. I don't think it matters whether they are horsey or not, its the personality that makes the difference.
 
Mine is a bit horsey. He can ride but doesn't really want to anymore. He helps out down the yard though.

However horsey or not he wouldn't dream of commenting what I spend my money on. It's mine and I will spend it on what I like, same as he does.
 
I have a non-horsey OH and he's brilliant. As far as he's concerned then: a) if I'm phoning the vet then I obviously feel it's necessary, and b) it's my money, I earn it, and it's entirely up to me how I spend it.

I am helped here by the fact his hobby is cars, which cost a bl**dy fortune in parts and tools - which he also buys with his own money.

I do get a slagging for buying the usual unnecessary stuff though ...
 
conniegirl said:
Erm why on earth do you let him speak to you like that or dictate what you can or cannot do with your money?
My OH is not horsey at all but has helped pay my last horses vet bills, lent me the money to buy my current horse, heck he has even paid part of my lorry bill this year. If I were to phone the vet his reaction would be total support

We have discussions and he may ask me not to do something and if he has valid reasons then I'll concider not doing it

We respect each other's interests and independence. I support him and he supports me.
Click to expand...


My husband wouldn't dream of speaking to me like that and I wouldn't speak to him in that way either. Nothing to do with being horsey.

Maybe it's because we have "our money" not mine/his money.
I wouldn't question what he spends he wouldn't question what I spend.

Then again I couldn't imagine being with a man who told me (or attempted) to tell me what to do. Or let me tell him what to do. Just wouldn't work for us.
 
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