Horsey men versus non horses men

Then again I couldn't imagine being with a man who told me (or attempted) to tell me what to do. Or let me tell him what to do. Just wouldn't work for us.[/QUOTE]

Exactly this. I can't get my head round an adult asking for permission to buy or do something.
 
HGA-12 said:
Is it only non horse men that act like this or is it an age thing they get worse or grumpier as they get older.
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no, my non-horsey OH is completely fine with me calling a vet/buying stuff etc etc.

eta mine all have a price on their heads and so family finances would not be put at risk/great strain for any of them, he knows that.
 
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My non horsey OH is more of a worry pot over Bud than me! Didnt complain about Buds vets fees in the summer and as I was ill the other week sorted Bud out for me. Even mucked out for me whilst I got bud ready to ride today and then came and put jumps up! If its your money do what you want with it. But some men do just grumble. They dont mean anything by it, just a grumble here and there. OH doesnt like people, im at a very quiet yard but it was busy this morning, his words as we pulled up were "i hate people, I hate horses, and most of all I hate horsey people" I just ignored him and left him in the car to grumble for a few minutes then he came and got the fork off me to finish mucking out and told me to groom Bud and tack him up haha. They dont mean it, just horses are a very different lifestyle :-)
 
Kezzabell2 said:
My boyfriend tires to talk to me like that too and in honesty I'm getting totally fed up with it. Who do they think they are. I'd never stop him going to the Doc

I then get "you always put the horses first " well. Yes. Of course I do. I've had my mare for 14 yrs. And the others for 4 yrs. I've been with him a yr. He knew I had responsibilities, so who the hell does he think he is to try and stop me doing right by them

He doesn't have a hobby and that defo makes it worse. Coz he expects me to be able to drop the horses when he wants to go somewhere

I was single for 4 yrs because I didn't have time for a bloke. Now I'm realising I was happier then
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Ditch him
 
budley95 said:
as I was ill the other week sorted Bud out for me.
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I have been very Ill this week and my oh arranged for my YO to look after Lenny and paid her as well!
He has yet to muck out but is quite happy to take a very heavy wheelbarrow to the muck heap and chuck it all up.
The only time he grumbles is at silly o'clock in the morning when I want to go to a show!

Mind you I do go to reenactment events with him at which I have to wear a corset
 
Copperpot said:
Exactly this. I can't get my head round an adult asking for permission to buy or do something.
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Me neither. If I need a vet to come to any of my horses, I call the vet. I don't ask for permission and my husband never questions whether I need one or not because he knows if I'm calling the vet then yes I do need one. I'm in a different situation to you though OP as my horse farm is our livelihood.
 
Non horsey. You can them train them to do it YOUR way. :)

Mine is fab now. Never had anything to do with horses before we got together. He's show in-hand at county level, regularly feeds, poo picks, groom and dogsbody at shows.
 
My boyfriend is 110% non-horsey (don't think he'd even touched one before he met my boys) but he's very sweet about them. Happily helps with the yard chores when he's around, took Obie for a little walk the last time because there was nowhere to tie up, has agreed to have a sit on him at some point (at this point, I was thinking "great, I have two horses, after all!" Bwaha) and doesn't begrudge me for having them, spending time with them or being broke constantly because of them. In fact, one week when my bank weren't playing ball, he paid for my livery for me and I paid him back once they refunded me.

First thing he did when he was offered a potential post-graduate job in Leeds was to ask his colleague (whose partner has horses) what the horse scene was like around there. And when Obie bust himself the other week and I had the vet out, he texted me after each visit to ask how he was.

But yaknow, Harry was there before him (by 5 months) and I told him straight that I wasn't going to sacrifice them in order to move with him. He's very lovely, and I'm very grateful for his support.
 
Polar Bear9 said:
Ditch him
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Ditto.
Life's too short.
If your not happier with your man than on your own I'm sorry to say he isn't the man for you.

My husband laughs and says he knows he comes second to my horse. I laugh back and say I know I come second to his motorbike.

We're both very independent and are together because we want to be not because we need to be.

Kezzabell2 make yourself happy.
 
Haha, my OH spotted me reading this thread and asked if I was thinking of swopping him in for a horsey man instead!

He is really great about my horse, although he didn't expect surprising me by buying me the foal I had my eye on would end up the ordeal it has been for the last 4 yrs!

He knows I only buy what I need for him and has often gifted me money to go to the saddlery and 'treat myself' and is disappointed when I don't. I pretty much have everything I need from collecting bits and pieces over the years when needed and looking after my things.

He doesn't come to the yard often and when he does thinks a lot of the liverys are idiots, their horses are 'nags' and they are bad riders/handlers.....I seriously have to keep an eye on him! For a non-horsey person he sees a lot and he's picked up on something about my horse I didn't, that horse is much more sensitive to peoples emotions/energy than I thought.

As I said before, as far as my decision in calling a vet is concerned, he would never question it and would be there for moral support and even help handle even though he is wary of how powerful and unpredictable horses can be.
 
My non-horsey OH is not particularly supportive day-to-day. He does grumble about things like poo-picking (doesn't help that the neighbours don't do it and think I am mad for doing it). He would never query spending money though, within reason, after all it is my money! It is more time that is the stress factor, particularly since we have a young child so I need him to baby sit when I want to do some things.

Part of the problem is that OH thinks he is horsey (grew up in Newmarket and occasionally got thrown on a pony) and would like to ride my horse occasionally, but I won't let him unless he lets me (or someone else) give him lessons and escort any hacks out. I know he would be galloping about everywhere and turn my horse into a maniac, I've seen him on his motorbike!

He would certainly never query getting the vet out, that is my decision because I know my horse and have the experience to make the judgement. A statement starting with "you better not be..." in any context would not go down well with me!
 
Like others I don't think its about being horsey or non horsey. My ex was non horsey & although he wouldn't have dared question the need to call the vet he wouldn't have ever worried about the animal either.
My current OH is also non horsey but a big animal lover, he will come to the stables and help out quite likes my horse etc etc & when it comes to getting her things if she needs she gets if she doesn't need he doesn't always know :p. I am happy with him being interested enough but not overly interested as it's my hobby & I enjoy "me" time being at the yard alone.
 
I have a horsey ish other half, he wont ride but is happy to muck pick fill waters when it suits him, he is a landscaper so he does all fencing, rolling spraying etc etc
Most of the time he is very good but sometimes he acts like my 18 month old child especially when money is considered. I needed back woman out several times and the first time he was ok but when she came back three more times, he started on with I wish I could afford a hobby like you moan moan moan, but I have learnt an invaluable lesson from him thats called selective hearing, it works a treat ��
 
My OH is the least animal friendly person going - he's very allergic to animal hair so was never around them before he met me and was quite nervous of dogs. He doesn't suffer fools well so is not really livery yard friendly either :)

He says he tolerates my current terrier (the dog adores him) and will sit at his feet at every opportunity and he is regularly caught fussing the dog. He does his best with the horses but is a bit of a liability through lack of knowledge but will and has built anything I need as he's a fantastic carpenter/builder.

As far as vets bills as concerned, while he has gulped at the size of some of my big dogs bills (so did I, £12k in total) he has always offered to pay them. Just an example, when the AHT quoted £14k for the absolute top notch treatment for the dogs last illness (2 big ops, chemo etc) he did say "But you could buy a brand new car for that" promptly apologised and offered the money anyway. He doesn't get the emotional attachment to animals but as they are important to me, that's good enough...

I do get the occasional ' that's naice' a la Mrs Brown when I've been shopping though :)
 
My non horsey oh has been phenomenal helping while I was pregnant and will help when im ill. Day to day he's not so keen. He's never seen me compete and moans I waste money on cr@p but feed, hay, bedding, farrier, dentist, physio or vet are seen as necessities so never grumbled about.

I find the vet an odd thing to moan about tbh.
 
It's not about "horsiness" it's about their character and temperament.

I was once married to a farrier. I didn't know for a long time that he didn't actually like horses! He was a right tight fisted meanie (although he wouldn't have denied the vet was needed).

Current partner is the kindest most generous man I've ever known. He's not horsey not really into animals although he's a farmer (arable) he came to visit my new horse for the first time the other night and he couldn't have been nicer or more interested not to mention patient. He never made me feel like it was a chore we were there checking on her.
 
Min was dreadfully frightened of horses til we got Jack... Now he insists on mucking out and Jack will follow him around like a dog! So very cute lol

If Jack so much as sneezed, OH would be there mopping his brow...
 
I have a horsey other half, he has two horses and I have 3. He is always there to help me and its great that he can just get on with things and helps at every opportunity. He wouldnt question if I was calling the vet - he may suggest to try something before hand unless it was a "call the vet straight away situation".
 
Mine was horsey before me then gave up. Then had a horse again when I got mine then lost interest and gave up again! He's forever mending, fixing, helping me and thinks nothing of doing the nightly routine for me if I'm shattered from work. He is happy to chat about them, plans etc. He doesn't grumble that the horses need a vet; he's the first to suggest it normally, but he does grumble when the invoice lands on the door step a week later - not because the horse needed it, more how are we paying it this time!

However, if he spots me online shopping; suddenly my purse mysteriously disappears and cannot be found anywhere - thank god for PayPal!!!!
 
OH would never question me calling the vet. The only time this ever happened was when I said I was ringing up to get the vet out to pts my old horse. He thought there was still hope. So I sent him out to see for himself and he came back within five minutes and said that I was right.
He is not the main carer for any of our animals but he does care about them and wouldn't want them to suffer.
 
Am I the first bloke to reply? In terms of horsey women versus non-horsey women I'd go for non-horsey. I don't want anything to detract from the attention I get as sole male on a livery yard of 20 females.... Actually, who am I kidding? We all know that the only thing women on livery yards think of is their horse don't we? I did have a horsey girlfriend once and things definitely worked better once we'd moved our horses to different yards. Our attitude to our horses, and what we wanted to do, was so different from each other that we never did the same thing anyway. She was happy doing endless circles around the school whilst I liked hacking and boxing my horse up to go on adventures. Whenever we did go hacking together all I'd get is an earful of: Slow down - I need to go in front - don't trot yet - my mare is more sensitive than your gelding - It's raining, let's go back - stop I need a wee - can you do the gate...etc. etc.

[preparing to be shot down in flames!]
 
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