Hovis_and_SidsMum
Well-Known Member
Dear Diary
I shall have to tell you about the antics of this week later because right now I have something rather important to tell you all. Something that this link might help with
http://www.horseandhound.co.uk/news/article.php?aid=306947
Yes, youve guessed it after 2.5 years writing down my weekly musings Ive gone and published them! Am I a clever dude or what?! Before any of you people start telling on me for promoting something please read what Im saying and know that I cleared this with the very nice TFC so dont be mean (Im currently giving the screen my best melting brown eyes look which is probably wasted as you cant see it .)
Mum and I had been thinking about doing it for a while and all of you lovely HHO online forum folk were very lovely and encouraging so we decided to do it. Now despite me wanting to sell this book, make millions, get my own TV show, film deal, fan club, clothing range, fly spray brand etc etc, Mum told me I had to help people less fortunate than myself. Now after some of the things Mum puts me through sometimes I struggle to think of how anyone could be less fortunate than me but heh hum
So Mum told me about these horses called Carrot and Spud, how you people on the horse and hound online forum helped rescue them 18 months ago and how they now live up the road from us at a rescue centre called Bransby Home of Rest for Horses. Now Im not allowed to go and visit (Mum said its to do with someone called quarantine but personally I think theyre concerned about a mass hysterical stampede of mares keen to get their hooves on my manly body) but Mum says that they do some really good work there. So because I am a good horse (and Mum threatened me with no tea for a week) I am donating all the money to the charity. Im not even getting a bag of treats out of it. Not even a 50p swede from the ooops shelf at the supermarket (and yes I know thats where you get them from Mum, I can read the stickers). Im not sure how this is fair in the slightest but then I am SO used to things not being fair around these parts I have Evil Army Man for an instructor need I say more?
The photo shoot I told you all about the other week was to take lots of photos for me so that they can be displayed at the Bransby Summer Fayre (Note that once again theres a party going on and Im not allowed to go  - damn that quarantine person) where my book is being launched. Does this mean they are throwing copies out of a window? Thats seems a little rude after all the effort Ive put in (and mums done a bit of work too something to do with solikictors and things). A nice lady off the forum called Pilar Larcade has also done lots of work drawing some amazing pictures of me which Mum says are hilarious. She too isnt even getting a swede from this so is a very nice person for helping the horses. That said personally Im not quite sure shes caught all my manly qualities (and there is a picture of me in shorts which in my opinion is just WRONG) but she is a very talented lady and it apparently helps bring the book to life. Im not sure I want the book bringing to life what happens if it wont sit still long enough for people to read it?
Mum and the nice ladies from Bransby have had lots of leaflets made to promote the book which were going to ask nice shops all over the place to put on their counters. I assume this will be the type of shops Mum buys my rugs and things from and not normal shops but then knowing Mum who knows?
Then more exciting news! Im going to promote my book at the Bransby stand at the Lincolnshire County show. Well Im supposed to be Mum is just trying to sort the insurance out. I think Im getting my bum insured like some woman called J-Lo? Does this mean that I can give hoof prints and my field location to a bevy of fit birds? Will you all come and say Hi to me? Cool New Shoes Man is also at the show doing some boring farrier competition thing so most of Team Hovis will be there (I have given myself Team status like that Denman dude as I figure he and I are now like kindred spirits, besides which no one else was going to give me a Team so I might as well do my own).
Apparently we might be close to some dudes who do jousting so Dad and I are going to see if we can join in. Mum doesnt seem keen on this idea but Dad tells me Id be good at it. Im not quite sure what jousting actually is but it sounds good anyway ..
Mum says they are going to write about me and my book in something called Horse Magazine which I swear is what she told me I was in years ago when I first became famous? I also heard a whisper that Horse and Hound might mention me too wowee fame at last, stand back ladies and form an orderly queue!
So finally I can tell you the big secret that we have kept for months now and it has been SO hard not to tell you all!
Right Im off to practise my autograph and sexy moustache wiggle for the laaaaadddieees. Im also hoping to dissuade Mum from giving me a tidy up before anyone sees me my standing in the neighbourhood could vanish faster than a mouth full of chaff at tea time if she gives me a basin cut again . Hope to see you all soon? Laters.
I shall have to tell you about the antics of this week later because right now I have something rather important to tell you all. Something that this link might help with
http://www.horseandhound.co.uk/news/article.php?aid=306947
Yes, youve guessed it after 2.5 years writing down my weekly musings Ive gone and published them! Am I a clever dude or what?! Before any of you people start telling on me for promoting something please read what Im saying and know that I cleared this with the very nice TFC so dont be mean (Im currently giving the screen my best melting brown eyes look which is probably wasted as you cant see it .)
Mum and I had been thinking about doing it for a while and all of you lovely HHO online forum folk were very lovely and encouraging so we decided to do it. Now despite me wanting to sell this book, make millions, get my own TV show, film deal, fan club, clothing range, fly spray brand etc etc, Mum told me I had to help people less fortunate than myself. Now after some of the things Mum puts me through sometimes I struggle to think of how anyone could be less fortunate than me but heh hum
So Mum told me about these horses called Carrot and Spud, how you people on the horse and hound online forum helped rescue them 18 months ago and how they now live up the road from us at a rescue centre called Bransby Home of Rest for Horses. Now Im not allowed to go and visit (Mum said its to do with someone called quarantine but personally I think theyre concerned about a mass hysterical stampede of mares keen to get their hooves on my manly body) but Mum says that they do some really good work there. So because I am a good horse (and Mum threatened me with no tea for a week) I am donating all the money to the charity. Im not even getting a bag of treats out of it. Not even a 50p swede from the ooops shelf at the supermarket (and yes I know thats where you get them from Mum, I can read the stickers). Im not sure how this is fair in the slightest but then I am SO used to things not being fair around these parts I have Evil Army Man for an instructor need I say more?
The photo shoot I told you all about the other week was to take lots of photos for me so that they can be displayed at the Bransby Summer Fayre (Note that once again theres a party going on and Im not allowed to go  - damn that quarantine person) where my book is being launched. Does this mean they are throwing copies out of a window? Thats seems a little rude after all the effort Ive put in (and mums done a bit of work too something to do with solikictors and things). A nice lady off the forum called Pilar Larcade has also done lots of work drawing some amazing pictures of me which Mum says are hilarious. She too isnt even getting a swede from this so is a very nice person for helping the horses. That said personally Im not quite sure shes caught all my manly qualities (and there is a picture of me in shorts which in my opinion is just WRONG) but she is a very talented lady and it apparently helps bring the book to life. Im not sure I want the book bringing to life what happens if it wont sit still long enough for people to read it?
Mum and the nice ladies from Bransby have had lots of leaflets made to promote the book which were going to ask nice shops all over the place to put on their counters. I assume this will be the type of shops Mum buys my rugs and things from and not normal shops but then knowing Mum who knows?
Then more exciting news! Im going to promote my book at the Bransby stand at the Lincolnshire County show. Well Im supposed to be Mum is just trying to sort the insurance out. I think Im getting my bum insured like some woman called J-Lo? Does this mean that I can give hoof prints and my field location to a bevy of fit birds? Will you all come and say Hi to me? Cool New Shoes Man is also at the show doing some boring farrier competition thing so most of Team Hovis will be there (I have given myself Team status like that Denman dude as I figure he and I are now like kindred spirits, besides which no one else was going to give me a Team so I might as well do my own).
Apparently we might be close to some dudes who do jousting so Dad and I are going to see if we can join in. Mum doesnt seem keen on this idea but Dad tells me Id be good at it. Im not quite sure what jousting actually is but it sounds good anyway ..
Mum says they are going to write about me and my book in something called Horse Magazine which I swear is what she told me I was in years ago when I first became famous? I also heard a whisper that Horse and Hound might mention me too wowee fame at last, stand back ladies and form an orderly queue!
So finally I can tell you the big secret that we have kept for months now and it has been SO hard not to tell you all!
Right Im off to practise my autograph and sexy moustache wiggle for the laaaaadddieees. Im also hoping to dissuade Mum from giving me a tidy up before anyone sees me my standing in the neighbourhood could vanish faster than a mouth full of chaff at tea time if she gives me a basin cut again . Hope to see you all soon? Laters.
