Hovis' friday diary

Hovis_and_SidsMum

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Dear diary
I am exhausted. I am so tired i can hardly type
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. I fear for my life - i think mum is trying to slim me into being a TB.
I have been worked very day for over a WEEK!
I need to come and stay with one of you nice people who will let me eat grass and not do anything.
Mind you I have had fun this week!
Mum rode me all over the weekend which was great fun then mum went away and aunty sarah rode me. Which is also fun but she's much bossier than mum. She makes me actually work rather than just pretend to.
Then on weds I sensed something was up. Dad washed my legs - now dad never gives me a bath so I knew something was afoot. Mum arrived back and I was put on the lorry with fit mare. wowee - thank you god! I had her all to myself for the journey there and back! More on that later.
When we arrived i realised we were back at a place i've been before so mum got changed and we went into the warm up thing. Now i'm not keen on these places, the wind was banging and there were little ponies all over the place - i always worry about standing on one of them. But mum kept telling me i was a good boy so we were ok. Then we went to the main ring and i saw the JUMPS!! Yippeee! Mum and i went round and I tried so hard for her but she pulled me up before one fence so i didn't get enough ooommmph and knocked it off. Poo! But she was pleased with me so that was cool.
Then dad got on me. Now mum has cobby legs and lots of bone so she doesn't really put a lot of pressure on with her legs. Dad does though so i thought he wanted me to go REALLY fast - apparently not from the telling off i got! Doh!
We didn't do very well as i was going a bit too quick so dad got off me and i stood and watched people for a while.
Then dad got back on me and walked me round - i was a bit confused as i thought i'd finished but again apparently not. We went in and i swear the jumps were a bit higher? Crafty these humans. But i managed not to knock any off. What is the big deal? Its not hard? Mum was so pleased though and said we had to jump off. Jump off what? Can they not be clearer with these things?
i couldn't see anything to jump off then dad took me back into the ring again and I KNEW there was nothing to jump off in there so i was very worried mum might get mad with us. Then dad seemed to forget the order of the jumps which i was a bit fustrated about cos i think thats why we didn't win. I tried to make him jump them the way i'd remembered but he didn't want to. And he made me go faster and do really hard turns. i was rather confused - I got shouted at for going fast before? Anyway my legs were tired so i knocked a couple off but mum and dad seemed happy.
Fit mare then went off to do some jumping and I stood on the lorry. i then realised the greedy cow had eaten most of my hay!! humph! Mind you we did get hot and steamy on the way home - mum said the camera steamed up so they couldn't see us.... oh yea baby........mum couldn't see what we were REALLY up to. Which unfortunately was not a lot as she just talked about poof bags all the way home. I tried breathing romantically into her ears but all it did was make her sneeze.
I give up i really do. Maybe next time if dad doesn't forget which way we're going and i find something to stand on to jump off then maybe she might fancy me just a little bit? What do you think?
 
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what an excellent time you've had Hovis, and with fit mare well my recommendation would be to wind her up (these mares are odd creatures like the tough love), eat her hay next time
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will cause conversation which is always a good starter for some flirting and keep going with the ear breathing she likes it really im sure
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x
 
Well Hovis I suggest you eat fit mares hay too cos she'll get dead angry with you and the best way to sort out a massive row is with some passion so off you go and give it a try next time! Other than that, just tell her your famous on the H nd H forum and she'll be putty in your hooves. Fit mares cant resist a true celebrity like yourself!
 
Just think Hovis, all this exercise will make you even fitter yourself, she may be a mare who goes for the muscular men so maybe one day it will all pay off
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Oh Hovis well done for getting into the jump off. Your diary is making the days go so much better. Thank you for keeping us up to date with the goings on. Well done again next time you might well come home with the red ribbons and some lovely carrots!!
 
Darling Hovis

Sorry to say this, but I have had the most relaxing week. Life has been hard mooching round the field, just a little groom and dinner each day.

Last Saturday the horrible lady returned to put cold things on my back, Apparently my freezemark needed touching up. I got revenge on mummy, she had given me a lovely huge dinner to keep him happy, but it was very sloshy so I dribbled huge mouthfuls down her neck. I am so underfed I can't possibly not stop eating, but did have to make the point that I was not pleased about the cold stuff.

She has also taken to doing this to me.

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So come and stay if you want a nice relaxing life but only if you can put up with being a clydie in a bag.

Lots of love

Farra Clydesdale xxxx
 
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