Hovis_and_SidsMum
Well-Known Member
Dear diary
My name is Hovis, I am 6 years old and I like drinking beer.
Its all mums fault, she took me to that pub place last weekend and Ive found out how nice the stuff they drink there is. Last Sunday fit mare, nutty Alf, poof bags, wise Monty, Looney legs, mature-but-fit Fi, scary mare and I rode out of the yard together which was VERY exciting. Ive never been out in a group that big before. I did get so excited I jogged a bit but mum shouted at me so I stopped. We rode for a long way which was fine except nutty Alf did the whole thing sideways. He freaks me out to be honest, he looks loads like poof bags but hes all white where poof bags is all dark. And hes MENTAL! I dont think mum likes him too much either so we tried to keep of his way.
Then finally we arrived at this house which had loads of seats outside and we rode across this funny stone stuff which made a really loud noise when you stood on it. Poof bags and co were having a duck fit over it but I thought it was kind of cool. Then mum and all the other people got off and took us into this garden place where they let us eat the grass! All these other people arrived and were cuddling me and saying how handsome I was ha! They didnt say anything to poof bags so he was most put out. Mum and Dad and the others then all had a drink of this nice smelling stuff in big glasses. When mum wasnt looking I stuck my nose in her glass and YUM I like that stuff! Mum said I wasnt allowed anymore as I was underage why do you have to be old to drink nice things? Its so unfair.
Then after mum and everyone had eaten some funny smelling bread things we mounted up and rode all the way home. It was good fun! Mum said I was brilliant apart from the point near to home when Alf ran past me and I thought what the heck and ran after him. Apparently mum hauling on my bit and shouting things like whoa you big fat person-of-unknown-parentage meant she wanted me to stop. I wish shed be clearer on these things.
Mum let me have the day off on Monday which was nice of her until I realised she wanted to give me a bath. She used this stuff called fairy which has really ruined my cred on the yard. Seriously is the woman hell bent on having people thinking I prefer poof bags to fit mare? I am NOT a fairy. Why cant I have shampoo called macho man or something? Anyway I give mum her due shes got my feathers very clean.
Apparently all this bathing and mane tidying is because were going showing on Sunday. Whats showing? It sounds a bit poncy to be honest and I am getting a little worried. Last night Aunty Laura plaited my tail to show mum and I looked a right idiot! Mum says we have to trot round whilst some person decides whos the best looking. Old Timmy said it sounds like mums taking me to a beauty pageant and I will also have to show a talent. Im not sure Ive got one of those so how do I show it? The only thing I can think of is showing how to eat a lickit in under 3 minutes will that do?
Any other ideas?
Anyway I have to go soon HE is coming later so Im going to find a tree to try to hide before mum can find me. I do not wanted to be beasted by commando bossy boots today, Im still traumatised by the tail plaiting.
Right, Im off .. I wonder if I lie down really flat in the field mum might think Im too exhausted to be worked? Hum ..
My name is Hovis, I am 6 years old and I like drinking beer.
Its all mums fault, she took me to that pub place last weekend and Ive found out how nice the stuff they drink there is. Last Sunday fit mare, nutty Alf, poof bags, wise Monty, Looney legs, mature-but-fit Fi, scary mare and I rode out of the yard together which was VERY exciting. Ive never been out in a group that big before. I did get so excited I jogged a bit but mum shouted at me so I stopped. We rode for a long way which was fine except nutty Alf did the whole thing sideways. He freaks me out to be honest, he looks loads like poof bags but hes all white where poof bags is all dark. And hes MENTAL! I dont think mum likes him too much either so we tried to keep of his way.
Then finally we arrived at this house which had loads of seats outside and we rode across this funny stone stuff which made a really loud noise when you stood on it. Poof bags and co were having a duck fit over it but I thought it was kind of cool. Then mum and all the other people got off and took us into this garden place where they let us eat the grass! All these other people arrived and were cuddling me and saying how handsome I was ha! They didnt say anything to poof bags so he was most put out. Mum and Dad and the others then all had a drink of this nice smelling stuff in big glasses. When mum wasnt looking I stuck my nose in her glass and YUM I like that stuff! Mum said I wasnt allowed anymore as I was underage why do you have to be old to drink nice things? Its so unfair.
Then after mum and everyone had eaten some funny smelling bread things we mounted up and rode all the way home. It was good fun! Mum said I was brilliant apart from the point near to home when Alf ran past me and I thought what the heck and ran after him. Apparently mum hauling on my bit and shouting things like whoa you big fat person-of-unknown-parentage meant she wanted me to stop. I wish shed be clearer on these things.
Mum let me have the day off on Monday which was nice of her until I realised she wanted to give me a bath. She used this stuff called fairy which has really ruined my cred on the yard. Seriously is the woman hell bent on having people thinking I prefer poof bags to fit mare? I am NOT a fairy. Why cant I have shampoo called macho man or something? Anyway I give mum her due shes got my feathers very clean.
Apparently all this bathing and mane tidying is because were going showing on Sunday. Whats showing? It sounds a bit poncy to be honest and I am getting a little worried. Last night Aunty Laura plaited my tail to show mum and I looked a right idiot! Mum says we have to trot round whilst some person decides whos the best looking. Old Timmy said it sounds like mums taking me to a beauty pageant and I will also have to show a talent. Im not sure Ive got one of those so how do I show it? The only thing I can think of is showing how to eat a lickit in under 3 minutes will that do?
Any other ideas?
Anyway I have to go soon HE is coming later so Im going to find a tree to try to hide before mum can find me. I do not wanted to be beasted by commando bossy boots today, Im still traumatised by the tail plaiting.
Right, Im off .. I wonder if I lie down really flat in the field mum might think Im too exhausted to be worked? Hum ..
