Hovis' friday diary

Hovis_and_SidsMum

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Dear diary
I think I preferred it when mum thought I was very ill. This week the vets have told her that my blood work looks a lot better – whatever that’s supposed to mean? How can my blood look better? Its still red isn’t it? V odd. This however has meant mum has decided I’m not going to break if I do a bit more work. Ha! What does she know? I am a very delicate little flower underneath this manly exterior…..besides which I quite liked lounging around not doing a lot.
The vets have said she has to put this disgusting gloopy brown stuff in my tea and to start working me as normal. Apparently the stash of blood they have stolen will last until after Christmas because that’s when they’re coming back for some more. I hope they are rationing it well - I’m not in the mood to give them anymore just yet.
So WORK has started again. Boo hiss. Mum has been on a service to someone called jury the last few weeks so she has been at home. So I have been working again. Admittedly not that hard but still more than I would like AND making me do poncy dressage things.
Then dad took me out for a hack round the block with old-but-still-quite-attractive mare. I can tell you she’s quite the MILF. If its wasn’t for my unrequited lust for fit mare I might be tempted to let her show me a trick or two I can tell you. We went out and it was nice and sunny, then halfway round it started raining – lots. Phew that girl could win some wet and wild contests – hubba hubba! I was so distracted I nearly fell over my own feet. Dad and Aunty Sarah however didn’t seem to wish to hang about so we trotted down the drive which we never normally do. Then Aunty Sarah yelled “I’m not getting off out here its too bad!” so THEN dad rode me straight into the stables!! Without getting off!! He rode me into the stable and then jumped off like a cowboy. Daddy is SO naughty but its always great fun!! Even mum was laughing despite nearly being flattened as I hurtled though the door.
Mum was not laughing the other night after I accidentally behaved like poof bags and flattened her. Ooops. She was taking me out for a ride and the nasty concreting machine things and the diggers were there. The men jumped up and turned the engine off as we were coming past and the thing lurched for me. I thought it was going to eat me so decided to leg it – quite forgetting mum was with me. Her language is SO impressive when she’s mad. She knows so many words! Even more so as she was dancing on one foot at the time (apparently I’d stood on her toes). I did try to cuddle her to apologise later but she’s still huffy with me with.
SO because she’s mad with me I don’t trust her to convey the message I wanted to send to you lovely ladies. A few of you have asked for my address to send me cards for Christmas – if you PM mum she will act as my secretary and tell you where you can post them to. She may as well make herself useful………… [I’m now running before she reads that……………!!!]
 
Oh I forgot to tell you about my girl.
She's at home on box rest which means i get to stare at her (in a non-creepy way) all day.
Shes allowed to walk up and down for 10 minutes a day but mum never lets me be there when that is happening. Apparently me taking the opportunity to bite her yummy bum when shes walks past isn't helpful.
Her stiches came out on thursday and she is still wearing sexy stockings. I do however get to share my hay with her every morning for 10 minutes - shes gets moved into the stable next to me whilst her mum mucks her out. she still has not given in to my come hither glances but our lips did meet over the haynet yesterday. She bit me in fairness but I think she playing hard to get? What do you think?
 
Darling Hovis

I am thrilled you are feeling your red blooded manly self.

You are welcome to share my haybar - it is big enough for two, albeit looking rather shabby where I use it as a bum scratcher. Mum was moaning that it might not last another year and called me a big lumbering ox - how rude she is.

I did more jumping at the weekend, and got to wear Stinky's very posh saddle which actually fits very well - believe it or not the little squirt is wider on his back than I am. My old Wintec is going in the bin as it has twisted and after Christmas I will get a new one.

Don't squash your mum - they get really stroppy if you tread on them and pointy fingers get prodded in you and then the dually comes out and you have to reverse through poles to show respect and manners - so boring but I do get to spend quality time with Dad doing this and he gives me lots of treats.

Last night was great, Dad did us and he always fills my ball to the top and gives me extra nuts in my grub - he knows I am a growing girl unlike stingy mum.

Keep well and though I hate to say it, I hope the fit mare is ok soon.

Lots of love

Farra Clydesdale xxx

PS you can bite my bum anytime - ample apple shaped and perfect as a clydes bum should be.
 
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