Hovis' friday diary

[Hovis_and_SidsMum]

Dear diary
I hate my parent. Truly I do. I swear their sole purpose in life is to ruin mine. Take yesterday for example. It was snowing, freezing cold and generally v christmasy. Mum brings me in a bit earlier than normal and I look forward to a night gazing lovingly at fit mare whilst impressing her with my wit and humour. Alas no, dad brings in my tack and they spend ages fiddling with it. I spied something on my bridle as mum put it on but it was too quick so I couldn’t see.
Then fit mare starts sniggering……….. I still fail to see what is funny as Dad leads me out into the snow to the ménage. It’s only when I catch a glimpse of myself in the window that I see…….. ANTLERS! Do I look like a chuffing reindeer? Eh? What in gods names are they thinking? I look a total idiot. Fit mare sang Rudolf the red nosed Hovis at me all night. There are times when I could go right off that girl.
Anyway what of the rest of the week? Well as can be seen from my heart break last night fit mare is back. She’s had her operation and is back on box rest again. I’m keeping everything crossed that she will be well this time. The vets have said only time will tell. So go find this Time guy and ask him - we all want to know if she’s going to be ok.
Poof bags is still at boot camp but I swear I heard Dad tell someone that’s he’s been hunting. I may be going a bit blonde like mum but I swear that’s what they call the big hacks with dogs that I’ve been on? If that right how is THAT fair? I Love those hacks with the forgetful dogs who keep losing the man in the red jumper. Why can’t I go? Instead I’m stuck here being forced to canter on the correct leg despite my every effort to go on the leg I want to go on. They’re my legs surely I should be able to chose? So how come he gets to do fun things at boot camp and I don’t? I thought he was being beasted by a legion of evil people not allowed to go for nice trips out in the countryside. Life sucks.
As mum wants to take me jumping tomorrow, later today evil army man and cool news shoes man are coming. Together apparently. I am starting to worry about those two. Apparently cool new shoes man heard about mum parting company from me during our last army style beasting session and said it would be funny to watch. Ha. No one laughs at mum but me Mr cool shoes man. So be careful I don’t tread in something nasty just before you lift my feet up. Ha!
I’m seriously tempted to pretend I can’t remember how to jump so mum won’t make me wear those antlers in public tomorrow. What do you think…….?

 

[joeanne]

Dear Hovis....

Your life sounds a bit like my friend in the next field called Ollie. Mum went to Olympia last night and got him a new rug....with pink spots on it! HAHAHA thats so funny! Mum said they didnt have blue spots in his size so he is looking a bit like a girl this morning! My rug on the other hand is lovely! Not a sparkle in sight, much to my relief!
Now.....tell me, this white stuff thats covering up all my lovely grass, what in all thats holy is THAT?????
Its cold too, and its added about an inch to my height (well until mum picked out my feet!)
And if you get a really hard bit you skid! Mum said its probably best to stay off the frozen bit as skidding is for motorbikes and cars, not small ponies! (Pah what does she know, i'll just do it when she's gone!)
Get the falling off thing on camera. Send it to YBF and get £250!!! You could buy Fit Mare a HUGE bg of carrots for that!!!

Love Little Stig

 

[Daffodil]

Poor Hovis! I'm not even going to think of asking for photos.... too humiliating for you.

So pleased fit mare is back home and fingers and hooves crossed the Time man gives you the right answer.

 

[Geraldine]

Ha ha Hovis - your Diary is a perfect tonic at the end of the week.

(((HUGS))) for you in your Christmas outfit and <<<VIBES>>> for Fit Mare.
xx

 

[Natch]

Hovis.

I feel your pain man. Last year Auntie Natch decided to plait tinstle into my tail and on my browband. EVERYBODY in the field laughed at me.

She then took me out in PUBLIC!! Oh the humiliation.

So Hovis, there is only one cure for this, and your human must be taught quickly, like mine. Dump her. In public: humiliate her has much as she has humiliated you. I did so when Auntie Natch was in the middle of a bunch of people in the forest, then legged it for home. That was the best bit of our hack ever! Until she sobbed at me when she caught me because I was heading to a fast road - oops, my bad.

You have to pay the price: I had to behave very well for the rest of the hack, but its worth it: the tinstle got taken out, and has never reappeared since.

Glad your fit mare is back, and sending her vibes for a good recovery this time. I was going to be generous and send you a pic of my new fit mare (the neighbours in my new batch. pad have a HOT little grey. I nicker just thinking about her.) but I'm glad I don't have to share her now.

All the best mate, and happy christmas. Make your human feed you mince pies, they are lovely.

Frankie

 

[zeroboysid]

Thankyou for my Christmas present Hovis. You are very Kind. You were a good chap today and did not make my Afternoon difficult. Id just like to point out not only did I turn up, I was also early cause your worth it(note to Vets and Beastmasters lol). Have a good Christmas and ill no doubt see you after Florida! Keep Warm