Hovis_and_SidsMum
Well-Known Member
Dear diary
This week I am mainly feeling smug. This is because I have been a good boy all week and fancy pants is in the dog house after chucking Dad off again on weds. Mind you I teetered on the brink of being sent to the dog house by mum at the weekend but managed just to get back into her good books in time. Phew!
On Sunday Mum took me up to the big field for a play now its was my fault but I do tend to thing that big field is for one thing only running like a bat out of hell round and round and round. Unfortunately mum didnt quite see my point of view and after unsuccessfully trying to keep me in trot rather than full on yeehaa hold-onto-your-hairpiece-canter she gave up and made me walk instead. How dull .
Luckily I did recognise the signs that she was less than amused and so walked out like a good boy all the way home phewee. A verbal tirade involving questioning my parentage duly avoided!
On Tuesday Dad and I went for a nice hack out down to the big woods and then around the block. I did avert my eyes in case we saw anymore naked naughty nookie people but thankfully theyd obviously found somewhere else to go and make babies.
Then on weds fancy pants made his HUGE mistake. I have tried to tell him the last brother that didnt behave was sent away to naughty school so hed best start behaving. After Dad had removed himself from the large crater hed made in the school fancy pants was lunged until he was so tired he hurt nearly as much as Dad did and then sent to bed. Tut tut. At this point I adjusted my halo, smirked, forgot myself and bit Dad on the bum. He was last heard muttering something about hating horses .
Mum came home yesterday and let me have a jump for the first time in ages last night which was great fun. She and Dad were working on lengthening and shortening my strides what is with that? I dont care how many strides they say it is I am the Destroyer and will do it in as many strides as it needs which to be fair usually is at least one less than everyone seems to think it is. I have big legs what can I say?! Mum jumped me for ages and then Dad got on to show her how few strides we could make a four stride jump in. I tried for one but it was too big to bounce so I managed it in two. Mum did comment that there may have been news of an earthquake in the area on the television last night as I really thundered between the jumps to do it in so few strides. After that everyone said how clever I am and that I am a total star. Ker-ching! Take note mum and give me some more dinner!
Anyway later on today my masseuse is coming (well mum says shes a physio but since I am far too manly to ever have hurt myself she just gives me a nice massage instead). I am secretly hoping for a sick note but cant see it happening so alas I can see more poncing around holding my own head coming up this weekend. Sometimes being perfect has its downsides .
This week I am mainly feeling smug. This is because I have been a good boy all week and fancy pants is in the dog house after chucking Dad off again on weds. Mind you I teetered on the brink of being sent to the dog house by mum at the weekend but managed just to get back into her good books in time. Phew!
On Sunday Mum took me up to the big field for a play now its was my fault but I do tend to thing that big field is for one thing only running like a bat out of hell round and round and round. Unfortunately mum didnt quite see my point of view and after unsuccessfully trying to keep me in trot rather than full on yeehaa hold-onto-your-hairpiece-canter she gave up and made me walk instead. How dull .
Luckily I did recognise the signs that she was less than amused and so walked out like a good boy all the way home phewee. A verbal tirade involving questioning my parentage duly avoided!
On Tuesday Dad and I went for a nice hack out down to the big woods and then around the block. I did avert my eyes in case we saw anymore naked naughty nookie people but thankfully theyd obviously found somewhere else to go and make babies.
Then on weds fancy pants made his HUGE mistake. I have tried to tell him the last brother that didnt behave was sent away to naughty school so hed best start behaving. After Dad had removed himself from the large crater hed made in the school fancy pants was lunged until he was so tired he hurt nearly as much as Dad did and then sent to bed. Tut tut. At this point I adjusted my halo, smirked, forgot myself and bit Dad on the bum. He was last heard muttering something about hating horses .
Mum came home yesterday and let me have a jump for the first time in ages last night which was great fun. She and Dad were working on lengthening and shortening my strides what is with that? I dont care how many strides they say it is I am the Destroyer and will do it in as many strides as it needs which to be fair usually is at least one less than everyone seems to think it is. I have big legs what can I say?! Mum jumped me for ages and then Dad got on to show her how few strides we could make a four stride jump in. I tried for one but it was too big to bounce so I managed it in two. Mum did comment that there may have been news of an earthquake in the area on the television last night as I really thundered between the jumps to do it in so few strides. After that everyone said how clever I am and that I am a total star. Ker-ching! Take note mum and give me some more dinner!
Anyway later on today my masseuse is coming (well mum says shes a physio but since I am far too manly to ever have hurt myself she just gives me a nice massage instead). I am secretly hoping for a sick note but cant see it happening so alas I can see more poncing around holding my own head coming up this weekend. Sometimes being perfect has its downsides .
