Hovis_and_SidsMum
Well-Known Member
Dear diary
I am concerned about mum. I think shes been on that confidence stuff again yesterday we went on the longest, scariest hack weve ever been on and she only started breathing funny once! Admittedly I was breathing funny too as we were sandwiched between two massive lorries on a very busy road and I was NOT happy.
Anyway I will start at the beginning .
Mum and Dad have been very busy with work so boss lady Sarah looked after me for the beginning of the week. This is always nice as I do no work, she gives me a lovely groom and lots of food!
Anyway mum came back yesterday and as it was a nice day we decided to go out for a stroll with Billy and his mum. I heard much discussion about where we were going and Billys mum asked my mum if she was feeling brave. I nearly fell over when mum said yes! So off we set and I soon realised Id not got a clue where we were going this always concerns me as mum has no navigation skills at all and is likely to get us lost. Thus I stuck close to Billy, determind where ever he was going I was going too. This was a great idea until we got onto a stretch of nasty road where the people were very rude and kept driving very fast and close. Aunty C and Mum demonstrated their fluent grasp of the English language all I can say is there are a LOT of people in Lincolnshire who didnt know who their Dads were .
I was coping fine with all this until a very very large lorry parked on my feathers from behind. Now Im a man so Im not keen on things being close to me from behind anyway (Ive never forgotten the incident with fancy pants) and since Billys bum was in front of me it forced me to make a rather camp move of nearly laying my head across his bottom in my attempt to save my feathers from being road kill. THEN another big lorry came from the other way and heh presto we were lorry sandwich! Mum started breathing a bit funny and I was keen to get out of there post haste. Aunty C told the lorry behind us to wait a sec as she could spot a gap in the hedge for us to get into but no the lorry knew best and continued to park on my bum. Now I know I have a lovely bum but it doesnt need examining in headlights two inches off my tail. We managed to trot on to the gap in the hedge where I proved I am not stupid by ensuring I squeezed into the gap in front of Billy.
Anyhow the horrible lorries left to go and do lorry things and we soon turned off onto a lovely long, car free bridleway. Here we had a nice trot and then a canter. The reason the canter wasnt lovely is that mum made me go behind Billy and despite the mans athletic build he sure doesnt go that fast. I ended up doing a collected canter that would have made that tortilla bloke proud (is he Mexican by the way? Why else name yourself after a crisp?). To make up for making me ponce about mum let me go at the front for our second canter so I left Billy boy in my wake. He cheated at the end though because mum pulled me up and he went two strides further than me thus getting back into the lead. Cheat!
The ride back was nice as the roads were very quiet winding country lanes with no traffic. There was a very scary lair at the side of the road apparently its called a bus shelter but I think thats a code word because no bus Ive seen could fit into it. We had a final hairy moment as close to home a tractor came and we had no where to get off the road so we trotted on a bit and then two men with a machine tried to ambush us from the side. I was impressed with mums balance a while back my athletic leap to save us may have unseated her.
I am most proud of mum that she coped with all the scary things but this new found confidence is scary. What is she makes me do something really dangerous next? My young life could be cut off in its prime!
So diary my conundrum for this week how do I encourage mum to do the fun things with me but dissuade her from getting us killed?
I am concerned about mum. I think shes been on that confidence stuff again yesterday we went on the longest, scariest hack weve ever been on and she only started breathing funny once! Admittedly I was breathing funny too as we were sandwiched between two massive lorries on a very busy road and I was NOT happy.
Anyway I will start at the beginning .
Mum and Dad have been very busy with work so boss lady Sarah looked after me for the beginning of the week. This is always nice as I do no work, she gives me a lovely groom and lots of food!
Anyway mum came back yesterday and as it was a nice day we decided to go out for a stroll with Billy and his mum. I heard much discussion about where we were going and Billys mum asked my mum if she was feeling brave. I nearly fell over when mum said yes! So off we set and I soon realised Id not got a clue where we were going this always concerns me as mum has no navigation skills at all and is likely to get us lost. Thus I stuck close to Billy, determind where ever he was going I was going too. This was a great idea until we got onto a stretch of nasty road where the people were very rude and kept driving very fast and close. Aunty C and Mum demonstrated their fluent grasp of the English language all I can say is there are a LOT of people in Lincolnshire who didnt know who their Dads were .
I was coping fine with all this until a very very large lorry parked on my feathers from behind. Now Im a man so Im not keen on things being close to me from behind anyway (Ive never forgotten the incident with fancy pants) and since Billys bum was in front of me it forced me to make a rather camp move of nearly laying my head across his bottom in my attempt to save my feathers from being road kill. THEN another big lorry came from the other way and heh presto we were lorry sandwich! Mum started breathing a bit funny and I was keen to get out of there post haste. Aunty C told the lorry behind us to wait a sec as she could spot a gap in the hedge for us to get into but no the lorry knew best and continued to park on my bum. Now I know I have a lovely bum but it doesnt need examining in headlights two inches off my tail. We managed to trot on to the gap in the hedge where I proved I am not stupid by ensuring I squeezed into the gap in front of Billy.
Anyhow the horrible lorries left to go and do lorry things and we soon turned off onto a lovely long, car free bridleway. Here we had a nice trot and then a canter. The reason the canter wasnt lovely is that mum made me go behind Billy and despite the mans athletic build he sure doesnt go that fast. I ended up doing a collected canter that would have made that tortilla bloke proud (is he Mexican by the way? Why else name yourself after a crisp?). To make up for making me ponce about mum let me go at the front for our second canter so I left Billy boy in my wake. He cheated at the end though because mum pulled me up and he went two strides further than me thus getting back into the lead. Cheat!
The ride back was nice as the roads were very quiet winding country lanes with no traffic. There was a very scary lair at the side of the road apparently its called a bus shelter but I think thats a code word because no bus Ive seen could fit into it. We had a final hairy moment as close to home a tractor came and we had no where to get off the road so we trotted on a bit and then two men with a machine tried to ambush us from the side. I was impressed with mums balance a while back my athletic leap to save us may have unseated her.
I am most proud of mum that she coped with all the scary things but this new found confidence is scary. What is she makes me do something really dangerous next? My young life could be cut off in its prime!
So diary my conundrum for this week how do I encourage mum to do the fun things with me but dissuade her from getting us killed?
