Hovis' friday diary

Hovis_and_SidsMum

Well-Known Member
Joined
22 January 2007
Messages
2,711
Location
Lincolnshire
Visit site
Dear diary
I think my chances of getting a nice christmas present have this week gone from slim to positively anorexic.
Some of this I do take the blame for but not all: It is not my fault that we have more snow here than siberia or that the temperatures have only made polar bears happy. It is therefore not my fault that the fields and the paths to the fields are frozen solid. It may possibly be my fault that I have found it most amusing to nudge mum in the back just before the slight slope down to my field. Eddie the Eagle would be proud of some of the take off shes made...
It is also not entirely my fault that I am a big boy and thus find walking on the 3 inch strip of grit that Boss lady Sarah has put down rather difficult. Besides which ice skating is great fun even if i have been told I resemble Scooby Doo on speed. I assume this is not a compliment? The fact that if I slip I make mum slip is a minor point - she has a large bum and so is well cushioned. If she full on kissed concrete i would feel bad but merely bouncing on her bum is hardly an issue, not that this is something we're seeing eye to eye on; mainly becaue I'm 16.2HH and she's on the floor...........
But my complete fall from grace came on wednesday night. Dolly had gone in first and had shook her bum at me on the way past in a way that make Beyonce look like an amateur. So when she started calling for me from within the stable I was so excited I pranced for joy. Unfortunately Ronnie must have thought she was yelling to him because he started rearing like a stallion. Now the fact his mum was on the end of the leadrope at the time was unfortunate but heh hum. Now i was NOT having that prancing princess nicking my girl so i thought it was high time I showed him some Destroyer moves. Now in hindsight doing this on a frozen field whilst mum was trying to catch me might not go down as the greatest move on my part but I'm a young boy and my hormones just took over. After 10 minutes I'm sure he'd got the point and the fit ginger mare had definitely seen me in a new light so I allowed mother to catch me. I once again marvel at my mothers grasp of the english language and the fact when shes on one she doesn't seem to pause for breath. Since then I understand she has offered me free to a good home so I think maybe, just maybe, she was not impressed?
Anyway in the midst of all my cavorting I managed to pull a shoe off (double ooops) so today replacement shoe man came (cool new shoes man is away apparently). He said how mannerly and lovely i am - mum must of agreed because she snorted so hard she made a snot bubble. She is such an embarassment.
I have been creeping like mad since wednesday day, nuzzling her, cuddling her and generally kissing bum in a hope that she won't carry out her promise to tether me to the side of the road and leave.
That said I'm not happy with her anyway. Apparently she posted some silly letter on horse and hound forum and it got published on their face book page. I have no idea what that is but how come i don't make it there? Mum says people think shes funnier than me. Funnier than me? Never.

What goes 99, bonk, 99, bonk?
A caterpillar with a wooden leg

Whats brown and sticky?
A stick

Why did the pony go to the vets?
Because he was a little hoarse

Badda bish!
Thank you!!
I am available for weddings, christenings and hay baling parties (well providing mum hasn't sold me into slavery in siberia).
So me, all 4 shoes, my hay and this infernal ice are hanging out in the field. I am hoping mum attempts to poo pick again today - watching her prising frozen poo off the grass is hilarious. Especially when the fork suddenly springs out of the ground showering her in frozen poo pellets...... Note to self try to snigger subtly - Siberia is cold at this time of year.............
 
Last edited:

Django Pony

Well-Known Member
Joined
21 February 2010
Messages
2,657
Location
Furry-town
Visit site
Does anyone have a link to the "letter to the man upstairs" that Hovis wrote on the H&H Facebook page? Pretty please?! I love Hovis, I'd love to read it but can't seem to find it :(
 
Top