Hovis_and_SidsMum
Well-Known Member
Dear diary
This week has seen a new arrival at the yard and Hovis is a happy boy as theres a new hot momma in town! Yeehhaa! More on her in a moment
Last weekend saw Dad decide he wanted me to stop being the poof mother is turning you into and go out hacking alone. Now I love my Dad, hes great, but seriously when they were giving out brains I think he was standing too long in the queue for big ears . Everyone knows when you hack out you need a wing man. Billy is my wing man, Im Billys wingman. Well actually more accurately Billy is the large object I use to hide behind and Im Billys minor annoyance that follows him about on hacks but heh you get the idea. Im not keen on this hacking alone business let alone when Dad decides we can take on tractors of terror solo. But since Dad has strong legs, and can be stingy with dinner at the best of times, I resigned myself to another death defying experience and sighing in a martyred style fashion we went out. In fairness it wasnt TOO bad but still he does insist on making me trot along the grass right next to wood lines when mum will at least let me put some distance between me and the lair of the dive bombing peasants. We did have a good long blast through one of the fields which even Dad had to concede to mum was nice. Other than that he informed mum Im turning into a girl and its all her fault and sauntered off to talk to Billy who he claims is a real man. Charming.
Anyway back to the new hottie. Well she arrived on weds and she is quite fit. A little curvier than I normally like but it is winter, she is fluffy and apparently she hasnt been doing much work. She apparently was some serious big shot in the world of showing so I thought we would have lots in common. Alas Barney has been to some place called HOYS which in her view obviously trumped my one time prance around the ring wearing talc so Im trying to think of another tactic. Also shes been put in a field next to little Charlie who has now fallen in love with her. I need to have a word with that boy hes getting ideas above his station: as hes only 14.2HH theres quite a lot above his station including my back legs if he doesnt back off the birds.
The problem is she seems to be a bit of a tart and is making goo goo eyes at anything with 4 legs and a chipolata (if you get my drift) so I need an angle. Any ideas?
Shes older than me so Im thinking the toy boy angle might be the best option all the other lads on the yard are much much older than me so maybe she fancies a Mrs Jones moment with some Irish bog-trotting beef cake?
I showed her some moves last night on the lunge but Im not sure she was that impressed
Today we were due to go out for a hack but mum isnt well due to migraine. Im not surprised shes not well if shes eaten MY grain. Pasture mix is for Destroyers only so I have no sympathy. She did say well do some work later if she can get rid of it so Im not sure where she going to put it? Mind you Im sort of hoping she doesnt get rid of it as its so windy today I dont fancy parading around naked. When we went to the field the headwind was so strong it was pushing my ears into a different county to my body. Mums hair was blowing about so much that she looked like an afghan hound in a tumble dryer (not that Ive put an afghan in a tumble dryer before that would be cruel; the tumble dryer would get blocked with all that hair)
So currently I am trying to keep my feet on the ground to avoid being blown away whilst blowing kisses at Dolly (I need to keep her on side in case new posh bird doesnt fall for my charms even if she seems to like ladies as much as men) and trying to think of new ways to wow the new curvy momma. Who says only women can multi-task?
PS Im fairly sure I heard mum mention were seeing evil army man on Sunday so diary if I dont write next week I have passed away due to too many star jumps. I am more than a little worried as weve not seen him for a while due to the snow. Surely he cant hold this against me? Or shall I start running now?
This week has seen a new arrival at the yard and Hovis is a happy boy as theres a new hot momma in town! Yeehhaa! More on her in a moment
Last weekend saw Dad decide he wanted me to stop being the poof mother is turning you into and go out hacking alone. Now I love my Dad, hes great, but seriously when they were giving out brains I think he was standing too long in the queue for big ears . Everyone knows when you hack out you need a wing man. Billy is my wing man, Im Billys wingman. Well actually more accurately Billy is the large object I use to hide behind and Im Billys minor annoyance that follows him about on hacks but heh you get the idea. Im not keen on this hacking alone business let alone when Dad decides we can take on tractors of terror solo. But since Dad has strong legs, and can be stingy with dinner at the best of times, I resigned myself to another death defying experience and sighing in a martyred style fashion we went out. In fairness it wasnt TOO bad but still he does insist on making me trot along the grass right next to wood lines when mum will at least let me put some distance between me and the lair of the dive bombing peasants. We did have a good long blast through one of the fields which even Dad had to concede to mum was nice. Other than that he informed mum Im turning into a girl and its all her fault and sauntered off to talk to Billy who he claims is a real man. Charming.
Anyway back to the new hottie. Well she arrived on weds and she is quite fit. A little curvier than I normally like but it is winter, she is fluffy and apparently she hasnt been doing much work. She apparently was some serious big shot in the world of showing so I thought we would have lots in common. Alas Barney has been to some place called HOYS which in her view obviously trumped my one time prance around the ring wearing talc so Im trying to think of another tactic. Also shes been put in a field next to little Charlie who has now fallen in love with her. I need to have a word with that boy hes getting ideas above his station: as hes only 14.2HH theres quite a lot above his station including my back legs if he doesnt back off the birds.
The problem is she seems to be a bit of a tart and is making goo goo eyes at anything with 4 legs and a chipolata (if you get my drift) so I need an angle. Any ideas?
Shes older than me so Im thinking the toy boy angle might be the best option all the other lads on the yard are much much older than me so maybe she fancies a Mrs Jones moment with some Irish bog-trotting beef cake?
I showed her some moves last night on the lunge but Im not sure she was that impressed
Today we were due to go out for a hack but mum isnt well due to migraine. Im not surprised shes not well if shes eaten MY grain. Pasture mix is for Destroyers only so I have no sympathy. She did say well do some work later if she can get rid of it so Im not sure where she going to put it? Mind you Im sort of hoping she doesnt get rid of it as its so windy today I dont fancy parading around naked. When we went to the field the headwind was so strong it was pushing my ears into a different county to my body. Mums hair was blowing about so much that she looked like an afghan hound in a tumble dryer (not that Ive put an afghan in a tumble dryer before that would be cruel; the tumble dryer would get blocked with all that hair)
So currently I am trying to keep my feet on the ground to avoid being blown away whilst blowing kisses at Dolly (I need to keep her on side in case new posh bird doesnt fall for my charms even if she seems to like ladies as much as men) and trying to think of new ways to wow the new curvy momma. Who says only women can multi-task?
PS Im fairly sure I heard mum mention were seeing evil army man on Sunday so diary if I dont write next week I have passed away due to too many star jumps. I am more than a little worried as weve not seen him for a while due to the snow. Surely he cant hold this against me? Or shall I start running now?
