Hovis_and_SidsMum
Well-Known Member
Dear diary
Is it a bird? No! Is it a plane? No! Is it my mother hurtling past my ears over my shoulder? Yes!
In November mum and I will have been together for four years. I like to mark these occasions by fondly remembering the good times and getting presents from mum. Mum however seems to like marking the passing of time for falling off me once every year. Last Sunday was the day she chose .
After Fridays fun but non turbo charged hack with Billy and his mum, Saturday saw me returned to poncing around the school with my head in the right place, striking off on the correct canter lead and generally giving that Moorland Doritos bloke a run for his money. Watch out mate, not only do I have awesome paces I also pull the ladies in ways you can only dream about you know what Im saying?
Anyway as I find all this poncing about utterly boring I was very excited when on Sunday mum rode me into the ménage and I saw Dad there. Dad and lots of jumps!! Yeehaa! So away we went. Mum managed to take constructive criticism from Dad without snarling fine at him once, I cleared all the jumps and better still Frilly came down the field and stood watching me whinnying encouragement and flirty comments. All was going great. Alas this was not to remain so. I heard Dad say to mum to do just one more then wed call it a day so I admit to taking my eye off the ball for a moment. Well I have to confess to never having my eye on the ball in the first place because a) I couldnt see a ball and b)Ive never been shown how to place it on a ball when my eye is in my head . along with another one so how do I remove just one? If I put both eyes on the ball how am I supposed to see to know theyre on the ball? Its all very confusing ..
Anyway Id started to fantasise about frilly cheering me on as I jumped around Burghley and was admiring the way my feathers waft in the breeze when I fell over. Now mum and dad claim I tripped over my own feet but I blame pilot navigation error. I fell flat on my face on both knees with mother clinging on like a barnacle on a hairy rock. Which was good. I heroically flung us both back upright and in doing so used the full power of the Destroyer bum and shoulders. Which was not so good. I flung us upright so enthusiastically I managed to dislodge my human barnacle and catapult mum right out of the front door. Oooops. She sailed over my head like a piece of poo flicked off a shavings fork and landed in a very big heap on the floor in front of me. I managed to jam the anchors on, not stand on her and then tried to give her the kiss of life. Which she didnt seem to appreciate. Well I think thats what stop snogging me you big clod hopping, clumsy person of unknown parentage means?
After much groaning (can falls induce colic in humans?) she came to see if I was ok last in line for sympathy again you may note? Deciding I was fine she got back on and we did a few more laps of the school and a couple of jumps to give me my confidence back. Excuse me? I dont need confidence. I need a mother who does face plant in the ménage once every year. More to the point doesnt do it in front of my new conquest who was fluctuating between looking very concerned and weeing herself laughing. I was not amused.
Anyway I have spent the rest of the week trying to restore my cool as an ice cream soda image which appears to be working. I had a great snog over the fence with Dolly the other day and then Frilly spent the entire evening calling to me yesterday when I was stood naked, bathed in sunlight in the open barn door having my new shoes put on. And yes ladies I am damn sure I looked good. Well in my head I did anyway !!!
Which reminds me. Cool New Shoes man needs a clip. Hes got more facial hair than me and it doesnt suit him. I would do it but mum wouldnt lend me the clippers so his mare is going to have to do it for him. At the very least he needs a high trace clip like mum sometimes gives me although she has favoured the totally-shaved-apart-from-the-legs look this year.
Later today mum is apparently doing some more schooling with me aka ride around in circles pretending to be a poof. BUT she said if she gets her voice back (she sounds like a frog being strangled at the minute) were going to a show. Which as regular readers will know means I get to die of embarrassment jumping over trotting poles with ponies that come up to my knees, whilst mother does an impression of an asthmatic darth vador. Still its a fun day out and I might get an ice-cream?
Ill let you know how I get on next week but in the meantime I am going to go and get some grass (mother actually moved my tape back today!!) and give the ladies some lovin. Laters.
Is it a bird? No! Is it a plane? No! Is it my mother hurtling past my ears over my shoulder? Yes!
In November mum and I will have been together for four years. I like to mark these occasions by fondly remembering the good times and getting presents from mum. Mum however seems to like marking the passing of time for falling off me once every year. Last Sunday was the day she chose .
After Fridays fun but non turbo charged hack with Billy and his mum, Saturday saw me returned to poncing around the school with my head in the right place, striking off on the correct canter lead and generally giving that Moorland Doritos bloke a run for his money. Watch out mate, not only do I have awesome paces I also pull the ladies in ways you can only dream about you know what Im saying?
Anyway as I find all this poncing about utterly boring I was very excited when on Sunday mum rode me into the ménage and I saw Dad there. Dad and lots of jumps!! Yeehaa! So away we went. Mum managed to take constructive criticism from Dad without snarling fine at him once, I cleared all the jumps and better still Frilly came down the field and stood watching me whinnying encouragement and flirty comments. All was going great. Alas this was not to remain so. I heard Dad say to mum to do just one more then wed call it a day so I admit to taking my eye off the ball for a moment. Well I have to confess to never having my eye on the ball in the first place because a) I couldnt see a ball and b)Ive never been shown how to place it on a ball when my eye is in my head . along with another one so how do I remove just one? If I put both eyes on the ball how am I supposed to see to know theyre on the ball? Its all very confusing ..
Anyway Id started to fantasise about frilly cheering me on as I jumped around Burghley and was admiring the way my feathers waft in the breeze when I fell over. Now mum and dad claim I tripped over my own feet but I blame pilot navigation error. I fell flat on my face on both knees with mother clinging on like a barnacle on a hairy rock. Which was good. I heroically flung us both back upright and in doing so used the full power of the Destroyer bum and shoulders. Which was not so good. I flung us upright so enthusiastically I managed to dislodge my human barnacle and catapult mum right out of the front door. Oooops. She sailed over my head like a piece of poo flicked off a shavings fork and landed in a very big heap on the floor in front of me. I managed to jam the anchors on, not stand on her and then tried to give her the kiss of life. Which she didnt seem to appreciate. Well I think thats what stop snogging me you big clod hopping, clumsy person of unknown parentage means?
After much groaning (can falls induce colic in humans?) she came to see if I was ok last in line for sympathy again you may note? Deciding I was fine she got back on and we did a few more laps of the school and a couple of jumps to give me my confidence back. Excuse me? I dont need confidence. I need a mother who does face plant in the ménage once every year. More to the point doesnt do it in front of my new conquest who was fluctuating between looking very concerned and weeing herself laughing. I was not amused.
Anyway I have spent the rest of the week trying to restore my cool as an ice cream soda image which appears to be working. I had a great snog over the fence with Dolly the other day and then Frilly spent the entire evening calling to me yesterday when I was stood naked, bathed in sunlight in the open barn door having my new shoes put on. And yes ladies I am damn sure I looked good. Well in my head I did anyway !!!
Which reminds me. Cool New Shoes man needs a clip. Hes got more facial hair than me and it doesnt suit him. I would do it but mum wouldnt lend me the clippers so his mare is going to have to do it for him. At the very least he needs a high trace clip like mum sometimes gives me although she has favoured the totally-shaved-apart-from-the-legs look this year.
Later today mum is apparently doing some more schooling with me aka ride around in circles pretending to be a poof. BUT she said if she gets her voice back (she sounds like a frog being strangled at the minute) were going to a show. Which as regular readers will know means I get to die of embarrassment jumping over trotting poles with ponies that come up to my knees, whilst mother does an impression of an asthmatic darth vador. Still its a fun day out and I might get an ice-cream?
Ill let you know how I get on next week but in the meantime I am going to go and get some grass (mother actually moved my tape back today!!) and give the ladies some lovin. Laters.
Bless you, dear Hovis! 
