Hovis_and_SidsMum
Well-Known Member
Dear Diary
It appears my supremacy in the field of jumping knows no bounds. My ability and skill were highlighted last weekend when an ex eventer who has been around big course like Burghley jumped the same height jumps as me. What can I say? Where I lead others follow. Thats my version of events anyway. Mums goes more along the lines of it was a schooling session so big shot eventer boy was working on speed to fences and control thus didnt need to be hurtling over 1.20m to do that. Im fairly sure as usual mums version is wrong
Anyway back to last week. As predicted Friday afternoon was spent poncing about like a poof whilst mother worked on outside rein contact. Serious question do you Dressage queens not find all that correct leg, correct balance, correct head position, on the bit, working ones bottom, ssssttttrreeeetttccchhhhiiiing out all a bit boring? Lord knows I do so I had to entertain myself by blowing kisses at Frilly every time we pootled past. Id have much rather gone out for a boys in the hood moment with Billy but mum was busy. Poo.
Anyway for no apparent reason (other than the fact it was cold, blowing a gale and mum is turning into a pansy) I got Saturday off then Sunday came. ..
I was loaded into the lorry, told we were going to see HIM and off we went. I was much confused when we didnt go the way we normally do and ended up on another yard. Then Aunty Sarah appeared and that great big, brooding hunk of a loan horse of hers appeared. Great thought I thatll be all the ladies swooning over him instead of me then.
That said his hay was much nicer than mine and he let me share it all the way to Evil Army Mans house so I began to think the dude might be ok. When we got there it was clear I was going first so we off loaded and mum and Aunty Sarah tacked me up.
Anyway EAM commented how well I am looking (seriously people PLEASE stop doing this to me I am underfed and need some TLC not more beasting and tiny dinners) and how pleased he was to hear of mum and Is success at the show the week before. OUR success? Excuse me? All mum did was sit there wetting herself - Im the one who did all the work!
Anyway he asked if we wanted to do some more jumping so mum said yes. Yippee thought I. Even better after jumping a few in trot EAM said he wanted to see mum cantering the fences. Cue mothers breathing sounding once again like an asthmatic on a treadmill but to my amazement off we went with the minimum of fuss. Aunty Sarahs mouth was open so wide I thought she was trying to catch flies but I suspect it was due to mum for once not throwing an absolute abdab about going about trot anywhere near a jump. Now the only issue mum and I have a disagreement over is which leg I need to be on in order to ping over the jumps. She seems very set on making me go on the correct one whereas Im very set on going on my stronger leg to get optimal lift off. This did cause a few arguments and a LOT of questioning of my parentage. I fail to see that motor biking around the corner into the jump (due to my legs choice apparently) is an issue. If mum can nearly put her foot on the floor then thats a good thing thats what those men on metal ponies do cross country I know, Ive seen them. Apparently she and EAM dont agree with me on this one so were working on pinging me back onto the other leg after a jump when we need to bend round that way. Yeah well see We also had a few disagreements over the point at which I needed to take off and a few mid air ear inspections resulted. Im going to buy mum some glue for her bum for Christmas itd save the nose in ear moments. Usually those are not an issue, I like a lady ear licking with the best of them but its not cool when its my ear and mothers nose ..
All this said EAM was blown away by the change in my mothers confidence. Note once again my skill is just taken for granted [sigh] ..
Anyway by this stage Ill admit I was a little tired and a little sweaty so me and the eventing dude switched places. Expecting to have him sneer at the level mum and I jump at, I was amazed to see him being made to jump our fences. See?! I told you Burghley is our next stop!!
He and Aunty Sarah also had a few mid air ear inspections (do you think its some strange human fetish?) and he got back on the lorry all hot and bothered. So hot in fact that by the time we got home we looked like wed been in a Turkish steam bath together. He did share his experience with me (and his hay) on the way home much to mothers alarm. Apparently hes viewed as a bit doolally so she doesnt want me copying him. Does doollally mean good at doodling? He did call out a nice goodbye when we dropped him off so I think hes quite a cool dude. Mum thinks Im hanging out with the wrong crowd
Anyway due to arriving home looking like a limp lettuce leaf I was put to bed with no tea how does that work? With promises of breakfast instead I was put to bed with a large tub of water and yummy cherry stuff and two haynets. I may have sulked if it had not been for the reception I got from both Dolly and Frilly when I arrived back though. Hearing two fine ladies yelling your name as you walk through the door is very cool. I am the man!! Added to stand offish ginger bird cavorting around the field on the weekend showing me her moves I think Ive got this harem lark licked. I also saw fit ginger bird with big ears at EAMs but wasnt allowed to go over for a snog. Mum said that would make me a tart. The point being?
Anyway I dont think Im jumping this weekend were apparently practising swapping from one canter lead to the other boooorrrrriiiinnnnnnnnngggggggg.
Any of you going jumping and fancy taking me?
It appears my supremacy in the field of jumping knows no bounds. My ability and skill were highlighted last weekend when an ex eventer who has been around big course like Burghley jumped the same height jumps as me. What can I say? Where I lead others follow. Thats my version of events anyway. Mums goes more along the lines of it was a schooling session so big shot eventer boy was working on speed to fences and control thus didnt need to be hurtling over 1.20m to do that. Im fairly sure as usual mums version is wrong
Anyway back to last week. As predicted Friday afternoon was spent poncing about like a poof whilst mother worked on outside rein contact. Serious question do you Dressage queens not find all that correct leg, correct balance, correct head position, on the bit, working ones bottom, ssssttttrreeeetttccchhhhiiiing out all a bit boring? Lord knows I do so I had to entertain myself by blowing kisses at Frilly every time we pootled past. Id have much rather gone out for a boys in the hood moment with Billy but mum was busy. Poo.
Anyway for no apparent reason (other than the fact it was cold, blowing a gale and mum is turning into a pansy) I got Saturday off then Sunday came. ..
I was loaded into the lorry, told we were going to see HIM and off we went. I was much confused when we didnt go the way we normally do and ended up on another yard. Then Aunty Sarah appeared and that great big, brooding hunk of a loan horse of hers appeared. Great thought I thatll be all the ladies swooning over him instead of me then.
That said his hay was much nicer than mine and he let me share it all the way to Evil Army Mans house so I began to think the dude might be ok. When we got there it was clear I was going first so we off loaded and mum and Aunty Sarah tacked me up.
Anyway EAM commented how well I am looking (seriously people PLEASE stop doing this to me I am underfed and need some TLC not more beasting and tiny dinners) and how pleased he was to hear of mum and Is success at the show the week before. OUR success? Excuse me? All mum did was sit there wetting herself - Im the one who did all the work!
Anyway he asked if we wanted to do some more jumping so mum said yes. Yippee thought I. Even better after jumping a few in trot EAM said he wanted to see mum cantering the fences. Cue mothers breathing sounding once again like an asthmatic on a treadmill but to my amazement off we went with the minimum of fuss. Aunty Sarahs mouth was open so wide I thought she was trying to catch flies but I suspect it was due to mum for once not throwing an absolute abdab about going about trot anywhere near a jump. Now the only issue mum and I have a disagreement over is which leg I need to be on in order to ping over the jumps. She seems very set on making me go on the correct one whereas Im very set on going on my stronger leg to get optimal lift off. This did cause a few arguments and a LOT of questioning of my parentage. I fail to see that motor biking around the corner into the jump (due to my legs choice apparently) is an issue. If mum can nearly put her foot on the floor then thats a good thing thats what those men on metal ponies do cross country I know, Ive seen them. Apparently she and EAM dont agree with me on this one so were working on pinging me back onto the other leg after a jump when we need to bend round that way. Yeah well see We also had a few disagreements over the point at which I needed to take off and a few mid air ear inspections resulted. Im going to buy mum some glue for her bum for Christmas itd save the nose in ear moments. Usually those are not an issue, I like a lady ear licking with the best of them but its not cool when its my ear and mothers nose ..
All this said EAM was blown away by the change in my mothers confidence. Note once again my skill is just taken for granted [sigh] ..
Anyway by this stage Ill admit I was a little tired and a little sweaty so me and the eventing dude switched places. Expecting to have him sneer at the level mum and I jump at, I was amazed to see him being made to jump our fences. See?! I told you Burghley is our next stop!!
He and Aunty Sarah also had a few mid air ear inspections (do you think its some strange human fetish?) and he got back on the lorry all hot and bothered. So hot in fact that by the time we got home we looked like wed been in a Turkish steam bath together. He did share his experience with me (and his hay) on the way home much to mothers alarm. Apparently hes viewed as a bit doolally so she doesnt want me copying him. Does doollally mean good at doodling? He did call out a nice goodbye when we dropped him off so I think hes quite a cool dude. Mum thinks Im hanging out with the wrong crowd
Anyway due to arriving home looking like a limp lettuce leaf I was put to bed with no tea how does that work? With promises of breakfast instead I was put to bed with a large tub of water and yummy cherry stuff and two haynets. I may have sulked if it had not been for the reception I got from both Dolly and Frilly when I arrived back though. Hearing two fine ladies yelling your name as you walk through the door is very cool. I am the man!! Added to stand offish ginger bird cavorting around the field on the weekend showing me her moves I think Ive got this harem lark licked. I also saw fit ginger bird with big ears at EAMs but wasnt allowed to go over for a snog. Mum said that would make me a tart. The point being?
Anyway I dont think Im jumping this weekend were apparently practising swapping from one canter lead to the other boooorrrrriiiinnnnnnnnngggggggg.
Any of you going jumping and fancy taking me?
